What should I do if I am always worried about making others unhappy in interpersonal communication?

Not knowing is basically not understanding what is in front of you, the fear of the unknown. Lack of self-confidence means that you are unable to cope with it, and you are afraid of the possible consequences. Look at you again, your problem is more that you can't figure it out.

In this world, even old fritters can't fully grasp a person's temperament. So you shouldn't have the concern of not understanding others, take your time. If a person doesn't feel right himself, who thinks he's right?

What you can't do, you should be close. It's stupid to destroy yourself yourself. And the second point you don't have to be afraid of.

What's it about making someone unhappy? A person who is a good person with edges and corners, even if you don't please others, at least you are happy. And a person's sleekness is polished by himself.

You want others to be happy.

Look at other people's thoughts rationally, you think that others are always saying things about you, but in fact they may not have that much time and energy to think about you. In other words, you may not be as "important" to them. Everyone has their insecurities, and if you're worried about how someone you know perceives you, there's a good chance they'll feel the same way.

How not to be so passive, of course, you have to start with yourself. Gradually transfer the energy of paying attention to others to yourself, use the ability to please and conform to others to slowly make yourself happy, love yourself, cheer yourself up, read more books and make a lot of different friends, cultivate self-confidence from all kinds of interactions and all kinds of things you can do, and slowly affirm your own value, you exist as an independent and valuable person, and you are by no means a vassal of anyone, even if you think that person is very good and worthwhile.

In interpersonal relationships, it is normal to care about other people's thoughts, but as the so-called everything has a "degree", more than the "degree" you care about may be too sensitive, when you have no way to know what others think, anxiety and uneasiness will envelop you, and then affect your life. However, there may be some signals that your "degree" will be easier to reach than others. Here are a few common signals, friends who are not sure whether they are "excessive" can refer to it, and friends who are more sure can also compare their current situation.

The reason why I have changed from caring about other people's small words to not caring even if the public blames me is that there are too many people who have opinions about me along the way, and I can't change myself for the sake of a random person, no one will satisfy everyone, and changing it will only make me not like myself, so the best way is to do what I want to do and become the person I want to be, and other people's words are just a joke. In this world, even old fritters can't fully grasp a person's temperament. So you shouldn't have the concern of not understanding others, take your time.

There can be many intrinsic reasons for always surrounding others and catering to others when dating. Maybe it's the lack of love in childhood that makes us look at people's faces, have a pleasing personality, and hope that others will also like and affirm themselves. It is mainly because of lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem and anxiety that make us inherently believe that we only have the merit of obedience in the eyes of others, and we can only make others feel happy and comfortable, and our existence will be meaningful.

In a word, you should believe in your own value, and if you feel that you have no value, then do your best to cultivate it. Always wronged to cater to others, looking back, it's really too humble and unnecessary. Your existence can only be meaningful if you make others feel happy and comfortable.

The characteristics of the people-pleasing personality are that they are easily sensitive and suspicious, care too much about the feelings of others, put the feelings of others before their own, worry that they have said the wrong thing, and care about many small details. Unconsciously pleasing others, there is no ego.

One, every posture of life should be understood.

Even the "pleaser" of this kind of life gesture has a meaning behind it. It must be at some stage of our growth that "please" is solidified and preserved as a survival strategy, forming an inherent pattern of reaction in our minds.

So to see how it developed, and to see the positive side of it, it's not all bad. It is necessary to fully understand the meaning of its existence, not to rush to get rid of it.

Second, be aware of the occurrence of "please" in one's own behavior patterns.

Have you ever had a similar experience when you find yourself having a flattering side in the process of getting along with others? Especially when you were growing up, someone was scared to be unhappy and became scared to please others?

Or because you are not liked for angering others by saying the wrong thing, and because others "punish" you for not paying attention to details, so that you are very sensitive to other people's unhappiness?

It may seem like your fear and sensitivity come from past patterns of interaction with others, and your current interpersonal relationships are replicas of past patterns of interaction.

Three, start by changing your relationship with someone close to you.

Realize that your current relationships are a replica of past patterns of interaction, and try to step out and face them with detachment.

When your loved one is unhappy, first of all, you can verify from your behavior whether it is because of you that makes him unhappy.

If you're behaving well, then it's possible that your childhood experiences have formed belief problems, which are often related to relationship patterns with loved ones and significant others. Get dealt with and you can grow.