What does it feel like to be isolated from your own roommates?

It's not uncommon to be isolated by your roommates during college, and many college students have just entered college and have never experienced dorm life with others before. So it is inevitable that you will be "isolated" by your roommates because of some of your problems. In fact, college students who encounter this situation are more uncomfortable in their hearts, and this is not the same as the college dormitory life they imagined.

It was a very sad experience, and I was very resistant to going back to the dormitory, and I would have a very depressed feeling in the dormitory, feeling that I couldn't fit into the group, and I would be very sad.

It's a special feeling of loss, feeling that everyone is very unfair to themselves, and deliberately targeting themselves, and I will feel very uncomfortable at that time.

1. First of all, it must be said to your parents, in addition to your parents, it is difficult for someone to really think about what you think and really understand your character.

2. Secondly, it's normal to be isolated in the dormitory of the university, because I have also been isolated, but I solved it. I'm a very motivated student (compared to those roommates who play games all day and often go to bed at 2 a.m. (three times when important things are said). I went to school at a well-known 985 university, and I didn't expect to meet these fun-loving people (at that time, I really had a nervous breakdown, because I couldn't sleep every day, I went to bed at 12 o'clock, and they formed a group to open a black voice and play it out (do you really want to sell batches)), I was really desperate at that time, if I wasn't afraid of being punished, I would have fought with them a long time ago, but reason told me no, and then my grades in the first semester of my freshman year were not good, ranking about 49 300.

When I was freshman, I had no choice, on the one hand, I had poor grades, and on the other hand, I couldn't stay in the dormitory, so I had to stay in the library all day to read books and write homework (ahhhh I usually leave the dormitory at 7 a.m. and go back at 11:30 p.m., so the days come to an end of my freshman year, when my relationship with my roommate is stiff, but I don't care (Tao (ideas) are different, but fortunately, my grades are good at the end of my freshman year, and my professional ranking is about 15 300.

So as soon as the sophomore year started (the point came), I had the confidence to find a counselor to change the dormitory, because my grades left dozens of Chang'an Avenue (hehe) from my former roommates, and the counselor was like that, at first he kept shirking and didn't agree with me to change (he just didn't want to cause trouble), but for me who was determined, I didn't give up, and went to him twice a day to change the dormitory, and at the same time I was also actively looking for some dormitories with vacant beds (because some people will be downgraded after a year.

This needs to be resolved sincerely, you can invite classmates to dinner, or give a small gift to improve the relationship.

Being isolated by a roommate is a relationship, and this can show everyone their principles and positions, and everyone's personality is different.

Being isolated by my roommate is very embarrassing and embarrassing, so I think it is necessary to find a friend to mediate and be sure to ease it, otherwise it will be difficult to live in college.

I feel that being isolated may be a different point of view, and then people isolate you, and then it may be that you behave differently from everyone, so everyone isolates you. Being isolated is often lonely, and you are alone in everything you do. You should have a little low self-esteem, usually read more books and watch TV series. Hope to adopt.

Be sure to deal with the people in the dormitory, and if you are isolated, then I think the best way to deal with it is to get along with everyone at all times, and communicate often when you have something to do.

Step 1: Think back to a social scene where other people are very close and make you feel ignored and excluded, recall your feelings and thoughts in that scene, and write it down very delicately and meticulously.

For example, "When I see my best friend laughing with another friend of his, I feel as if I'm not his best friend, and I feel very lost, my heart aches, because I wish I was the only one for him, and I'm so angry with him, because when he's with someone else, I feel like I'm being ignored, I'm not that important." I want to be the most important person to him, no matter who I compare myself to. ”

Step 2: Think about what your instinctive reaction would be like in this situation. It's very sad and you back down, so you don't play with them?

Or do you get angry and then you want to separate them, so you interrupt them a lot? This is just my example, so please write down one of your own instinctive reactions in this situation.

2.If your instinctive reaction is to hold back, then I think it's possible to express your true feelings in a real situation - you can tell them that I feel ignored by you, and I feel that I am not that important to you. I think if you can express these feelings to your peers, they may feel that you value them and that you need them, and they may pay attention to your feelings and invite you to join in.

3.If your instinctive reaction is that you want to interject, interrupt, or otherwise act in a way that is offensive to others, you may need to see what you really feel behind the action, because it can be a defensive act, and our real feelings may be hurtful and vulnerable. We may need to adjust our reactions to reduce some of these aggressive behaviors.

4.If your instinctive reaction is to get better at yourself in order to attract the attention of others, then you attribute it to not being good enough and not good enough, so attribution may make you less and less confident. In such a situation, you may need to stop in moderation and not blame yourself too much.

It's not because you're not good enough, it's just that you're sensitive to that kind of scenario. Believe in yourself, accept yourself, and be confident that you will naturally attract people who like you.

5.If you have a very strong and traumatic feeling of being excluded that has severely affected your social or intimate relationships, then I recommend that you seek professional help from a counsellor to explore the development of your triadic relationship. This may allow you to make your life clear and orderly, rather than being deeply affected by things in the past that you don't know.

Above, good luck.

If you are isolated and excluded, the most important first point is to try to find the cause.

It's a pity. In most cases, when isolated, it's probably the problem yourself.

For example, for some people I know, being isolated is not entirely unreasonable.

I have been holding the computer at night, and the sound of playing games has been noisy to my roommates.

He is very addicted to smoking, often smells of smoke, and loves to drink and return late.

The style of life is very improper, which makes people stay away.

Because of poor hygiene habits, it will always be messy and dirty.

Speak without thinking, or like to gossip about others behind their backs. Wait a minute.

The saddest thing is that these people may not realize why they are isolated.

They may be like everyone else: I don't care.

However, just because people have mistakes and shortcomings does not mean that they cannot be actively corrected.

Sometimes isolation and exclusion can mean that you are indeed wrong. If you try to find the cause, your situation may be completely corrected. If you can put an end to the unpleasant side that you bring to others, then maybe the current situation will be much better.

When you think that you are not disgusting in principle, then perhaps your isolation is just ordinary human nature.

Between people, in fact, all people have habitual thinking, thinking that they are always right. Even if you're really wrong, you won't be able to pull your face.

Hello dear, I have seen your consultation question, please wait patiently for five minutes [smile] I will sort out the answer for you and solve it for you immediately [smile].

Questions. What about my daughter being isolated by her roommates.

Children don't have the heart to study and attend classes all day long.

What should I do, you can help me think of a good way.

You can tell your daughter that if you want to be friends with them, ask your children to take the initiative to talk to them more, take the initiative to share with them when they eat snacks, and they will slowly change their attitude towards you.

Questions. The child's self-esteem is still very strong.

Or find an opportunity to get your roommates together and communicate well, ask them if you are not good enough, if it is your problem, you can correct it, and it can be eliminated if it is a misunderstanding.

If your child really doesn't want to, just be yourself, and if you really can't stand the discordant atmosphere in the dormitory, you can also contact the counselor and ask him to help you change the dormitory.

You can refer to these methods.

Questions. If there is a discord, I will sue those few who ignore my daughter.

Hope it helps.

Questions. The instructor did not change the dormitory.

You can tell your daughter that you can sometimes disagree with his point of view, but it does not hinder your normal daily communication, you should reflect on whether you are too obvious, otherwise why other people are not affected, and talk to your daughter about what you see.

Teach your daughter to help others when they need help, and over time, their attitude towards you will change.

Reflect on yourself, empathize, try to communicate, and do your best to contribute to the dormitory.

First of all, you need to reflect on the reason for being isolated, and then look at this reason to see whether it is your own problem or the problem of others, and correct your own problem, and other problems.

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Man is a typical social animal, and there are very few people who are psychologically strong and can completely leave the social circle to live independently, and can also be full of inner life without feeling lonely.

For college students, the most important social circle is their roommates, whether they are four, six or eight, these people are basically your partners who have been with you day and night in the past few years.

First of all, you have to integrate into the group and slowly start to adapt to the group life. For example, if your roommate asks you to go out, it's okay for you to refuse once or twice, but if there are too many times, they will form a habitual thinking, thinking that there is no need to call you again, and people are kind enough to call you and you refuse every time, which will only ruin everyone's interest. So all you have to do is promise them to try out with your roommates, maybe it's not as boring as you think?

Secondly, you have to learn to arrange your time reasonably and make a plan in an orderly manner. For example, when to do what to do, what not to do, step by step according to the plan, study carefully when it is time to study, and have appropriate relaxation when it is time to relax. After all, if you can't learn how to get along with people in college, then you will feel powerless to enter the society in the future, and even if you have enough ability, you will not be able to achieve great success.

After all, in today's society, relationships are important.

The last thing I want to say is that in college, your roommate should be the closest person to you, and if you have a stiff relationship with them, then you are really a failure. Lively and cheerful, positive and optimistic, polite, relaxed and generous, are the basic qualities of your good dealings with people, talk to your roommates more, chat, hang out, the relationship between peers is easy to establish, believe me.

In short, don't be a "loner" in college, it's really hard to feel like that.

Roommates are a group of lovely people that we will inevitably meet on the way to study, but not all people can get along well, there will always be people who will have conflicts, which is inevitable, if there is a problem between roommates, it is best to solve it as soon as possible, do not let this kind of problem have been in your roommate relationship, so as not to cause irreparable consequences.

If there is really a problem with your roommate or you feel isolated, it is best to find someone you are worthy of your trust to talk about, or sit down with your roommate to talk about it, so that everyone has a new understanding of you, or find your teacher to talk about this kind of thing, let them help you enlighten it, if the problem in your heart is not that your roommate isolates you, but that you don't like to talk and are more sensitive to some things, it is best to find the key to the problem, Slowly get better, try to communicate with your roommates to let them know your personality or some things to look out for, so that you can get out of this matter. You have to know that being isolated can be big or small, and if it is serious, it will even affect a child's life, so once there is a problem, you must find a solution and you must not drag it out, so that the relationship between roommates will only become more and more alienated, and the conflict will become more and more serious.

Or if the problems between roommates have reached the point of irreconcilability, you can try to change a dormitory, don't let yourself be in a bad relationship all the time, which will affect your mentality and even your studies, maybe you change to a new dormitory, you will quickly adapt to everything, and you can also be yourself well. Finally, cherish the few years you spend with your roommates, which will be your most precious memories in the future.