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In the process of growing up many children, it is essential to hear their parents say to themselves, you see how good other people's children are, why are you not as good as others, and most children when they hear these words, their first reaction is to feel very disgustedEven after listening to these words for a long time, they will feel that they are useless in the eyes of their parents, inferior to others, and over time will have a very big impact on their hearts, and may even develop a character that loves to compare, has low self-esteem or is too fragile. <>
In fact, the original intention of parents is good, they hope that their children can become better, and they hope that their children can learn from better children, but this kind of education is obviously not advisable. Every child's initial sense of security and love is obtained from their parents, if parents repeatedly suppress and criticize their children, think that their own children are not as good as other people's children, so over time, children may subconsciously think that what their parents say is right, I am not doing it right, I am not so good. Then they will lose their self-worth, which is very detrimental to their psychology and personality.
Children who grow up in such an environment will either be very fragile and sensitive to inferiority, or they will have a strong sense of comparison, and they must compare with others in everything they do, and they must always compare with others until they do better than others, but they will be very anxious in such a state for a long time, and there will always be a kind of self-satisfaction and self-denial. It is conceivable that if a person with such a personality is facing life or studying, it will be very difficult and unhappy. <>
Parents' love for their children should be gentle and generous rather than so full of control, there are many parents who can only see the advantages of other people's children, but they can't see the advantages of their own children, and constantly take the advantages of other people's children, and compare the shortcomings of their own children, in fact, each child is unique, there is no need to do this, education also needs to pay attention to the way, such an education method is greatly detrimental to the growth of children.
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Parents often compare their children with their children, which will make children feel inferior to others, and parents prefer other people's children, which will make children feel very inferior, and after a long time, they will self-deny, so that children have no confidence to face the future life.
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I have to say that this will really make the child's heart be seriously damaged, will make the child become very inferior, and will also make the personality become very introverted, and does not like to communicate with others, which has a great impact on the child.
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It will make the child have a sense of self-doubt, and it will also make the child become very unconfident in the process of growing up.
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1. Often comparing other people's children with their own children will make children feel particularly inferior, affecting children's mental health, and more serious situations will cause children's psychological problems, which cannot be completely overcome after adulthood.
In fact, when we are young, we will be subjected to such verbal comparisons by our parents, which may be that our parents think that only such comparisons can we find our own shortcomings and let us learn to grow faster. But this is often not the case, and after hearing these words, we do not allow ourselves to grow, but make ourselves even more inferior, because we find that everything we do is not approved by our parents. I think this time the results are perfect, but our parents will still think that we are worse than others, and over time we will find that we will always be the worst person, and this inferiority complex will grow with our age and will not be forgotten for a long time.
Second, often comparing other people's children with their own children will make children have a negative psychology, thinking that they will always need to compare with others, and they can't compare with other children anyway, so they will continue to sink and will not grow up at all.
My parents would compare me to other children every time, but every time other children were better, and although I tried very hard to show my excellence every time, I was not recognized in front of my parents, so I started to become negative. As long as my parents compare me, I will treat it with a negative attitude, and I don't even want to study, because no matter how I study, I can't get the approval of my parents, since I can't get the approval of my parents, then why don't we take it easy, don't put too much pressure on yourself, in this case, the child can't actually grow up better.
3. Often comparing other people's children with their own children will make children rebellious, and children will become more and more distant from their parents, and they will not even want to have any communication with their parents, and will think that what their parents do is deliberately embarrassing themselves.
There is also a situation where parents keep comparing me to other children, but every time it ends with me being poor, which makes us think that our parents are not fair, and they are always complimenting other children and belittling their own children. This makes us suspicious of our parents, thinking that our parents themselves think that we are bad children, and over time we will become that bad child, and let our parents see the worst and worst side of themselves.
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It will make the child become very inferior, not conducive to the growth of the child, not conducive to the development of the child's personality, will make the child become submissive, and will make the child become very timid.
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The impact on the growth of children is very great, children live very inferior, children always feel that they are inferior to others, and children will feel very stupid. Children will think that their parents do not like their relationship with their parents, they will be very cold, and children will be particularly rebellious. The child is very insecure and has low self-esteem.
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It will have a great impact on the growth of children, it will make children especially disbelieve in themselves, they will feel that they are particularly useless, they will feel that their parents do not love them, and they will become super insecure. They will become very humble, and they will have a strong competitive spirit.
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There is a very big blow, affecting your child's self-confidence, affecting your child's psychological state, easily leading to depression, easy to lead to very uncomfortable, affecting the feelings between each other.
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Hit the child's self-confidence, feel that the mother still does not pay attention to herself, and produce a rebellious mentality. In the future, I don't communicate when I encounter things, and I don't communicate. Close yourself off.
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If you often compare your children to each other, how will they be harmed?
1. Hurt your child's self-esteem.
Children are very sensitive, and childhood is also a critical period for the development of character and values, they will be very concerned about the evaluation of others, and they are easily influenced by the outside world.
At this time, if parents often compare other people's children with him, it will make him feel lost or even inferior, and feel that he is inferior to others in everything.
In the long run, he will live forever in the shadow of others, completely losing himself. What's more, they will become helpless, anxious, and do not like to interact with others, and they will not experience the joy of growing up at all.
Article **3 Second, hurt the child's self-confidence.
If the child is often compared by his parents at this time, no matter how hard he tries, his parents will turn a blind eye, and he will slowly slack off, and he will feel that no matter what he does, he will not be affirmed by his parents, and it is better not to work hard.
This can be a serious contusion.
The child's enthusiasm makes him doubt himself and slowly become less and less confident.
Article **4 III. Hurting the parent-child relationship.
Many times a child does not understand the good intentions of his parents, he only knows that his parents criticize and count him every day, and he will feel that his parents do not love him.
If he compares other people's children with him, he will even have confusion about who is the parent in the end.
Why is it that other people's children are good at everything, but they are always good for nothing?
The parents' intention of "hoping that their sons will become dragons and their daughters will become phoenixes" is good, but the results are often counterproductive, making children rebellious and disobedient.
This not only hurts the child's young mind, but also hurts the parent-child relationship and affects family harmony. What should parents do?
1. Respect children's individuality.
No two leaves are the same, and every child is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses.
Parents should not always compare their children's disadvantages with the strengths of other children, but should be good at discovering the strengths and shining points of their own children.
Parents should give their children full respect and let him become a person with light in his eyes and love in his heart.
Article**62, affirming the child.
Youth is a time to express oneself, and every child wants to be affirmed by others, especially parents.
Affirmation and encouragement from parents can give children greater confidence that they are capable of doing something well and actively work towards achieving it.
As a parent, stop comparing your child, which is a typical phenomenon of not being able to achieve self-satisfaction and then transfer it to the child.
Think about it, if your parents themselves were compared to others, would they feel happy? Do unto others as you would have them do to you!
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Introduction: Many parents always compare their children with other people's children, and feel that their children will never be as good as other people's children. When I was young, the most I heard was that my parents said that you see whose children are good at studying, you see whose children are also very good at handwriting, and you see what you are writing.
Today, I will talk to you about why parents compare their children with other people's children in the end. <>
What I want to tell you is that the reason why parents compare their children with other people's children is because he thinks that other people's children learn very well, and his own children are very shameless if they can't catch up with other people's children. Because in the eyes of parents, other people's children are always good, and parents can never see the shining point in their own children, so they often use this behavior to hit their own children. I think that everyone has their own way of life, although the results are not good, but they will also have their own advantages.
What I want to tell you is that this kind of education is actually very bad, and it is always better to compare your own children with other children, which is an inexplicable harm to children, and children themselves want to become very good, but children's abilities are limited. I feel that as a parent, I should encourage my child more, so that my child can make more progress, and don't hurt my child all the time, if my child suffers a major trauma in his heart, it is difficult for him to become excellent. <>
What I want to tell you is that people who have not studied well since childhood may grow up better than those who have studied well since childhood. Therefore, parents should not be entangled in their children's grades all the time, and if they have no talent, they should not force their children, but should do what their children are good at, so that children will have many ways to choose. Parents need to learn to see the bright spots in their children.
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Because everyone wants excellent children, they will find a standard for their own children, and when they see that other people's children are excellent, they will naturally make a comparison.
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Why do such parents compare their own children with other people's children? Not always some parents but most parents do this, why? Because in this way, you can compare what your children are like, if your children are good, then you can show off, if your children are poor, then you can educate your children, and always want to compare the advantages of your children.
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It is because people have a lot of comparison psychology in their daily life, so they also hope that children can be smarter than others.
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Some parents compare their own children with other people's children, which is what many parents do, but this practice is wrong. There is a difference between children and children, some children may have a more intelligent brain, but some children may learn a little slower. It will lead to their differences, so parents should not do this, as it will hurt their children's self-esteem.
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Because of the imbalance in his heart, his parents will compare themselves with other children when they are young, and he will think that in fact, comparing with other people's children will promote the growth and development of his own children, but in fact, it is not.
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Because some parents are very envious of such good children, and also hope that their children can be the same as these good children, so it is also to motivate their children, so they will compare their children with other children.
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This is a common phenomenon, parents, their own children compared with other people's children, such an idea is actually not good, every child has each child's thoughts.
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For many adults, they especially like to compare their own children with other people's childrenEspecially for children with excellent grades, it is easy for adults to become jealous and eventually transfer to their own children, so I do not recommend comparing your own children with other people's children.
1. Lower your child's self-esteem
Every child will have their own self-esteem, although their experience is not as rich as adults, but they will distinguish between good and bad, and can also feel the attitude of parents, if we have been suppressing our children, then it will cause children to become more and more autistic, and eventually unwilling to communicate with anyone, so parents in educating children, not only to have a strict side, but also to encourage children appropriately, so that the child's psychology will not be harmed in any way.
2. Hate your parents
For some children, their memory is particularly good, especially remembering some unhappy things, even if it is a long time in the past, it will not be forgotten, resulting in children have always had suggestions to their parents, but they have not been solved, and it will be difficult to resolve the conflict after a long time, so in order to let our children have a healthy childhood, we must find out the changes in the children in time, and solve the problems in time. In this way, children can spend every day happily in the process of growing up.
In addition, we should also cultivate children's ability to be good at discovering things, because everyone will have their own strengths and weaknesses, not all people are perfect, so we should learn from the advantages of others, reflect on the shortcomings of others, and then look at their own problems, so that they can become better and betterTherefore, parents must look at the problem from a different angle, and then find a suitable way to alleviate it, so that it is beneficial and harmless to the growth of children.
Hey, that kind of parent really has nothing to say. You can't say anything now, study hard, and when you're independent, you can face everything to you alone.
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