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With the advent of adolescence, rebellious emotions also begin to spread in us, we begin to quarrel with our parents, do not listen to their persuasion, and even oppose our parents everywhere, causing us to become estranged from our parents, unwilling to communicate with our parents, let alone close to them. In fact, this is a normal phenomenon, we are always unwilling to be restrained and managed, and want to live a free and easy life, and parents always want us to grow up quickly and have self-control, this conflict and contradiction is inevitable, and it is also a process we must go through, and when we pass puberty, we will slowly understand our parents.
It may also be because we are growing up, becoming independent, having our own lives, and knowing that our parents will not take care of us for a lifetime and want to live on our own, which is a manifestation of our gradual maturity and the first step for us to slowly move towards society. This is the kind of time that parents want to see, and they don't want to see. We are willing because we are beginning to grow up, and we want to break free from the arms of our parents, which is the purpose of our parents who have cultivated us for many years, and it is also the result we hope to see; And I don't want to see it because we are no longer snuggled in their arms every day, and suddenly there is one less person to take care of by their side, which is very uncomfortable, and their hearts will be empty.
Growth is something that everyone has to experience, and the bird always has to leave the warm and safe home and fly to a wider sky. Our resistance to being close to our parents is the first step to independence, and it is also the beginning of our ideological transformation.
Generation gap with parents.
It is also a factor that makes us resist being close to our parents, along with the independence of our thoughts, the situation of finding parents in the past will slowly not exist, instead we begin to find a way to solve it ourselves, and our parents will always notice our same, so as to ask us, but the ideological gap between us and our parents makes us have no desire and energy to explain, so that there are some contradictions with our parents, and over time we begin to avoid our parents and not get close to our parents. These generation gaps are inevitable and must be experienced, and our resistance to being close to our parents is only short-lived, and when we grow up, we will understand that our parents love us.
In fact, our parents love us, even if there is a generation gap because we grow up, our parents will understand us if we communicate more, after all, everyone has a young age. We grew up close to our parents' physical resistance, and psychologically we still need to communicate more with our parents, after all, home is our harbor. No matter how far we go to develop our careers and pursue our dreams, our home will always be in our hearts, and our parents will always be our concern.
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In fact, many of us will have a common period of this problem, that is, what we usually call the rebellious period, and this rebellious period is actually the time when we and our parents are most opposed, because at that time we will not understand the parents' thoughts at all.
Because what we simply heard or came into contact with was completely different from what our parents told us, and at that time we didn't want others to take care of it, we just liked to do what we wanted, and at that time we still wanted to do what we couldn't do. <>
In this way, our hearts are very complicated, and we can't calm down our emotions when we add our own failures, and then our parents come to us or control us, we will become very unhappy, and we can't control our emotions well, so we vent our temper to our parents.
In fact, we have our own reasons for losing our temper with them, because we are so young, we have no way to talk to others about these things that make us unhappy, frankly speaking, our temper is not told to our parents, we have no way to vent it, it will only make us unhappy and do nothing well. <>
Because our parents are the ones who can spoil us the most, the people who can get used to us the most, no matter how we tell them, they will not teach us a lesson or really bully us. But not elsewhere, there were no real friends who could endure our bad temper then or now.
We have to have a way to vent with others, only in this way can we make ourselves happy, so that we can learn to do our things well, and we have no way to get it.
Everyone will say that we vent our worst temper to the people who love us the most, but we have no choice, because because they love us, we are qualified to vent with them, or we have the experience to vent with them, express our feelings, and only they can tolerate us in the world.
It's really bad to do that, but we can't do it, we don't vent ourselves, we don't say what we're going to do in the future, we can't control our emotions. <>
There is also the fact that we and our parents are not from the same era, there is a generation gap between us, and we have no way to communicate in a good way, so others will definitely not like our parents, so we feel that if we get close to our parents, others will not look down on us.
In fact, parents are the most beautiful people, we don't think they are not beautiful enough, we don't dislike them, each of us should remember that our parents were good, we must know to be grateful, because without them there would be no us, because we will be like that.
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The reason for the resistance to being close to parents is that when I was a child, my parents were too strict with me, so I didn't want to be close to my parents when I grew up. <>
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I think the reason that can lead to resistance to getting close to parents must be that parents hurt the child's heart, and it is irreversible and irreparable that hurts the child's heart, otherwise the mother-child relationship this feeling, how can the child not get close to the parents? <>
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There are many reasons why you resist being close to your parents. For example, it may be due to a lot of misunderstandings with my parents when I was a child. Or maybe it's a very bad thing for parents to hurt themselves when they were young, because some parents will educate their children for their own unhappiness, which I think is a very bad thing.
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The reason for this phenomenon may be that the parents accompany the children for less time, the children are not familiar with their parents, so they will resist the psychology, now there are many parents, busy with their careers, the children are handed over to the grandparents after birth, and the time to accompany the children is limited, so the children are not willing to be close to their parents, so they resist being close to their parents.
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There are many reasons why we resist being close to our parents. For example, when you are very young, your parents beat and scold, which will make you feel that your parents are very difficult to meet, or when you are a child, you have something that you like very much, and you want to understand him or want to learn from him, but your parents cut off this desire for you, and you will find your parents very difficult to approach.
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Personally, it's because of some things that happened when I was a child, but it's just that I resist getting close to my father, and my mother still communicates normally as usual, and I don't think there's much difference, and I don't know when my relationship with my father is getting farther and farther away, no matter how far away I am from him, the two of us have very little contact, even if there is an occasional **, sometimes because there is something to fight, usually I rarely care about each other, oh, my mother and I are different, and I will hit ** from time to time Let's talk about the other party's recent affairs, in fact, I myself have always known the reason why I resist getting close to my father, and that is because his thinking is too conservative, and I don't like it.
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There are many reasons for this, for example, if we are in adolescence, then we must be very rebellious, and in many cases we will disagree with our parents, so it is very normal, because after all, it is two generations, so it is normal to have differences, after all, two people experience different things.
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Some memories from my childhood, because when I was a child, I really felt very hard at home. So when I grew up, I really refused to be too close to my parents, because those childhood memories made me feel too bad, so I still don't like them very much. I find it hard to be intimate with them.
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Summary. Hello, I am honored to serve you <>
Not being close to your parents is an attachment problem, and in terms of attachment theory, there may be a pattern of ambivalent attachment and avoidant attachment between you and your parents.
What is the psychological problem of not being close to one's parents?
Hello, I am honored to serve you <>
Not being close to your father and mother is an attachment problem, and from the theory of attachment, there may be a spear and shield attachment and avoidant attachment between you and your parents.
Both attachment patterns are insecure attachment patterns that may depend on your childhood experiences and your parenting style. Contradictory attachment, also known as anxious attachment, refers to the child's desire to be cared for and close to his parents, but when the parents give him a satisfactory expectation, the child will resist it.
Avoidant attachment refers to the absence of dependence on the parents, and the presence or absence of the parents will not arouse the child's attention and reaction.
It also means that there is an emotional isolation between you and your parents, and there is no emotional connection and intimacy between parents and children.
If you are willing to describe your situation specifically, this will allow us to go further <>
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Not being close to your parents is not a psychological problem, as follows:
1. In the process of children's growth, there are too many blows to children.
Some parents have more or less the mentality of "hoping that their son will become a dragon and their daughter will become a phoenix", but often because they can't do it, in the process of their children's growth, they give their children too many verbal and physical blows, causing a certain degree of psychological shadow to their children. And every time a child wants to say something to his parents, he is hit by his parents again, and naturally gives up communication with his parents.
The reason why I feel inclose to my parents is that I have been more or less violently treated by my parents, and even the children themselves did not think that the more verbal attacks and injuries came from Lu Beimin's parents, who gave their lives. And the number of times they have been hurt is too much, and the children have a "long memory", and naturally they don't want to expose too much of their true temperament in front of their parents.
2. In the process of children's growth, there is rarely intimate contact with children.
At the same time, adults always "be adults" in front of children, maintaining the dignity of adults, it is easy for children to have a sense of distance between children and adults, and children are also easy to be inclose to adults.
When the child is young, adults are not stingy to express their love to the child, hug the child more, in order to establish a good intimate relationship with the child, the child is more likely to show his true temperament in front of his parents, and is willing to let his parents know more about themselves.
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has never been able to get close to his parents, most of them are the wounds of the original family, and the unfortunate person will have to spend a lifetime **.
After all, we are children in the eyes of our parents, whether we grow up or notTheir direct influence can be greater than the indirect influence of anyone at any other time, the good is good, but the bad is half a lifetime or even a lifetime of inaccessibility
When I was a child, I always thought it was a treasure in the eyes of my parents, thinking about their goodness, thinking about being able to get closer to them, but, dangWhen the material conditions of the family are average or even difficult, most of them live day and night, in exchange for only three meals a day, and love and being loved disappear little by little in this hard life trajectory, when you want to catch it again, but in vain, because in exchange for a sentence: we are so busy not for you, you have to study hard.
Reading hard means that you have to study harder, you can't play, you have to concentrate on getting into books, and then get a good score, but when you get back a 99-point test paper, they will say lightly: Look at your tablemates, they all scored 100 points, and then look at the little iron head in the next village, they are all admitted to the county key, and you can only be speechless. The most unfortunate thing is that when you fail once, all you have to wait for is your own weakness and their quarrels, which is meaningless
How to define the meaning of life, happy families are always similar, but the families of trough cakes have their own misfortunes, living in a beautiful, healthy and happy family, how desirable it is to have a pair of empathetic parents, but there are still many original families with chicken feathers,Bad temper, incompatible personalities, quarrels over money, drinking and gambling and other reasons are filled in front of us, what can we do, in addition to sulking and crying, we can only watch them make a mess of a peaceful life, we want to be close, but reality, let us learn that distance is the best medicine
DistanceDistance produces beauty, but sometimes, distance also produces sin, living in a family full of insecurity, lack of happiness, full of fear, most people have lost their childhood, and then youth, middle age, and old age have no real vitality, weakness, withdrawal and even inferiority are the armor on the body, and they can't be deeply close to other people, let alone the fuse of the original family - biological parents.
Parents are the best teachers, but once this teacher is incompetent and can't love, then the final consequences are divided equally between us, I can't get your good, and you can't get my love, until I grow up or become a mother and father again, but what I lose cannot be made up for in a lifetime, maybe sometimes I will be relieved, but that kind of closeness, how can I have it again?
I am a person from this kind of original family, and now that I have grown up, I have tried to let go, but I have never been able to really do it when I am close to my parents.
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