How to make Dabao and Erbao live in harmony, and how to make Dabao and Erbao live in harmony

Just two words: fairness, don't ignore Dabao because of the birth of Erbao, shouldn't let Dabao let Erbao go too much, don't say that Dabao is old, should let Erbao, this will make Dabao's psychology extremely unbalanced, they will feel that their parents are biased, only love Erbao, don't love themselves, Dabao will be sad, Dabao may cry by himself, which will cause Dabao to hate Erbao very much, often come to retaliate against Erbao, may cause damage to Erbao's body, ladies and dads, Be sure to pay attention. When dealing with the contradiction between Dabao and Erbao, we must be fair, and we should not let Dabao let Erbao go because Dabao is bigger than Erbao.

As long as you do the word "fair", you will find that Dabao will like Erbao very much, and will often help Erbao do a lot of things, and even Erbao's affairs don't have to worry about parents. It must be fair, fair, fair, fair, and just, and you must not favor the two treasures, or don't think about Dabao's feelings, what will Dabao think? Right?

In this regard, fairness is fair, fair, fair, fair, and fair, and it is the fairest. The results will make you happy.

In order to help build a strong relationship, parents must first understand the various causes of sibling conflict. 1. The reason why Dabao and Erbao often clash is that the motive behind them is actually to get more love and attention from their parents. If parents can't treat and meet the needs of each baby fairly, and don't resolve the knot between babies in a timely manner, it will not be conducive to the harmony of the family atmosphere.

2. Dabao and Erbao are both relatives and playmates of each other, and in the daily play and companionship, they can not only derive positive feelings such as love, protection, care, and worship, but also cannot avoid negative emotions such as comparison, jealousy, complaining, and being annoyed, so that there is sometimes a state of intimacy and sometimes antagonism. 3. Due to the difference in age, Dabao and Dabao have differences in their abilities, interests and hobbies. If we can't find common ground when getting along, contradictions and conflicts are inevitable.

4. Gender differences. Boys and girls have different congenital developments, and girls have strong emotional and language skills, and are good at obtaining attention and support with emotional needs and soft attitudes; Boys are naturally energetic, aggressive, and like to gain a sense of accomplishment through competition. Congenital sex differences can also affect the intimacy between siblings.

5. If the parents' attention to Dabao Erbao is obviously unbalanced, often biased towards a certain baby, or always because Erbao is young and cute, and is biased and overprotective, it will also lead to a discordant relationship between siblings. 6. After Erbao was born, if the parents ignored Dabao's negative emotions and always demanded that Dabao must become a sensible big brother and big sister, which would only make Dabao dissatisfied with Erbao.

Since the opening of the two-child policy, many families have joined the ranks of wanting a second child. Many people are very happy with the opening of the two-child policy, but some families also have a situation where the two children of the second child do not get along. Recently, there is a mother in the Bao Ma group who told everyone about her troubles, because the boss always bullies Min Rang's second child, and the two often fight.

This is a problem faced by many second-child families. In some families, the children have a good relationship, while in other families the two children often fight. Therefore, how to promote the relationship between the two children in the family is indeed a problem.

So what do parents do?

First, don't compare two children.

When parents deal with the problems of their two children, they must first start with themselves. Face the two babies with the right mindset. Some parents can't help but make some comparisons between the appearance and personality of their two children, such as:

The elder brother's eyes are bigger, the younger brother doesn't like to be noisy, etc. Although this is a knee-jerk comparison, the process of comparison may cause unconscious harm. Over time, parents will favor one side or the other, exacerbating the children's conflicts.

Therefore, parents should put an end to this type of comparison, describe it objectively, affirm the child positively, and see more of the strengths of the two children.

Second, avoid eccentricity.

Fairness is the principle and the most effective way to deal with conflicts between two children. However, many parents find it difficult to achieve a bowl of water when dealing with their children's relationships. Partiality towards one child can cause great psychological trauma to another child over time.

Therefore, parents should fully accept their children's strengths and weaknesses, look at their children's strengths with an appreciative eye, and treat their problems objectively. Otherwise, turning a blind eye to one parent may cause the other child to fall into an inferiority complex, and he will not like to play with the other child even more. For example, when the two children quarrel, figure out the whole process of the matter, objectively analyze the two children's ** is wrong, apologize for what is wrong, and then comfort the two children and let them shake hands and make peace.

Third, teach children to learn to share.

In many families, the two children do not get along well, which is mainly manifested in the fact that the two people are not humble to each other, occupy their own things and do not share them with others. In dealing with such problems, parents should first teach their two children the blessings of sharing in each other. You can tell them stories about humility, such as Xing Nakai saying that Kong Rong made pears and taught them the virtue of humility.

Buy different toys when buying toys for two children and tell them to play differently. You can usually do more parent-child games with the children, and let the two children play in a group and play cooperatively, which can promote the relationship between them.

When two children don't get along, mothers must not panic. When dealing with this kind of problem, mothers must care for their children a lot, set an example, treat their two children fairly, and help them grow together.

Since the younger siblings came to this family, the love of the parents has been divided a lot by the younger siblings, and they have to give up their beloved things to share with their younger siblings, so many eldest do not like their younger siblings.

The original intention of parents is only to make the children more united, but if the relationship between the children is tense because of the wrong educational concept of the parents, then it should be timely and correct guidance to avoid the children's inner resentment.

There is a conflict between the children, how should the parents educate.

At the beginning of the child's birth, parents gave the same love. However, when there are multiple children, many parents will inevitably pay more attention to the second child, they always think that the child is young and should get more attention, the more so, the more parents should give more attention to the eldest child.

Parents are not eccentric, whether they like themselves, children are like mirrors in their hearts, so even if parents like the second child in their hearts, they should deliberately give the boss more care, only in this way can a bowl of water be truly level.

Children are not in danger and parents do not have to participate in Huina.

Children are often noisy and noisy with each other, and if parents are always peacemakers, then there are bound to be a lot of problems to deal with. When the problem between the children is not serious and does not endanger the safety issue, parents can not participate at all.

Leave the problem to the children to solve on their own, so that the children can find the right way to solve the problem, rather than always relying on their parents to judge.

Let Erbao learn to be grateful to Dabao.

Whether it is in terms of skills or physical strength, the boss is always better than the younger siblings, if the boss and the younger siblings rob, then the younger brothers must be the one who loses, so parents should take the initiative to guide Erbao to learn to be grateful.

Let Erbao understand that his brothers and sisters are letting him, if they didn't take the initiative to let him, maybe he wouldn't have the current treatment, on the one hand, give the boss understanding, and on the other hand, let the second child know how to be grateful.

No matter how many children there are in the family, parents must remember that they should not always let the eldest go to the front to shout that they are not younger siblings, they are only a few years old, and parents should still be responsible for dealing with family conflicts.

1. Give the same love to Dabao and Erbao.

Don't ignore the big treasure because you have the two treasures, and you can't despise the two treasures because you already have the big treasures. Both children are treasures in the hands of mom and dad, and we want to give them the same love.

Children's hearts are also extremely sensitive, and parents should pay attention to reassuring them.

2. Respect and understand every child.

Children's hearts are really very sensitive, they are more delicate than us, if they have any "small emotions", parents should carefully observe, and dredge and guide.

Many times, children will feel the respect of their parents, and they will understand their parents and siblings better.

3. Don't compare the big treasure with the second treasure.

When we were children, our parents often compared them to the children next door, so that when we grew up, we still had nostalgia for other people's children. Therefore, we must not compare Dabao and Erbao, which will increase the friction between the two children and affect the relationship between the children.

4. Guide the two treasures to share with each other, but do not force them.

With two children at home, there will always be something to share or borrow from each other. At this time, it is natural for parents to think that the two treasures should be shared with each other, but the children's hearts do not think so. Therefore, parents can only guide them to share with each other, and cannot force them, otherwise they will hurt the child who gives and the child who pampers them.

5. Praise Dabao and Erbao in a timely manner.

Both adults and children love to hear praise. If Dabao or Erbao has done well, and the two can get along harmoniously, parents should praise them in time.

Praise is also skillful! This praise should be noted by indicating which behavior the child is praising and not just personally.

6. Mom and Dad apologize in time for making mistakes.

People are not saints and sages, and adults and children can make mistakes. If parents want their children to correct their mistakes, they should apologize to them in time when they make mistakes.

Parents who have the courage to admit their mistakes will set a good example for their children, and children will be more willing to confide in their parents.

Precautions: It is a long process for Dabao and Erbao to fall in love with each other, and it cannot be achieved overnight. Mom and Dad must not be partial, and give the same love to their children.

This requires parental guidance. Don't put pressure on the eldest brother: "You are the eldest brother (sister)" must bring your brother (sister). Letting the eldest son take the initiative to take care of the second child can not only reduce the burden on the parents, but also increase the affection between the two children.

Take care of the elderly's emotions. Due to the arrival of Erbao, the family's attention suddenly shifted to Erbao, and it was easier to ignore Dabao. My brother is my older brother, 10 years older than my sister Da Hongmin.

Many people will say that my brother will definitely take my sister there. In fact, my sister was a year and a half ago. My brother's behavior of "holding my sister" is disgusting.

When I needed him to help my sister with household chores, he was reluctant and often refused. In this case, instead of forcing him to take his sister, I mainly discussed with him: brother, you see, mom needs you to take her now, so that I can finish the chores faster and take you out to play basketball faster (my brother loves to play basketball very much).

However, many times he refused to take her there, so I had to put her in the stroller and follow me to do the chores.

Occasionally, because my brother didn't help me, my sister scolded my brother and lost her temper with me, despite my mother's hard work. From then on, I couldn't leave the hard work of taking care of my sister to my brother in order to take care of myself. My sister said it to my brother several times a year ago:

Sister, you don't love me! From then on, I would be more careful to talk to my brother, trying to show that, although I had added a younger sister, he was still our only son, our favorite son. Slowly, his mother asked him to take care of his sister in a way that "needs you".

Although he had a sense of routine, seeing that his younger brother was becoming more and more interested in his sister, I also went further and further down the road of "routine".

There is no absolute bowl of water, each child is an independent individual, all are unique, can only try to achieve the same love for two children, in addition to the following:

1. Acknowledging individual differences, but treating every child fairly in thought.

No child is exactly the same, and every child has their own personality and temperament. Although the two children are from the same mother, their temperament, appearance and personality are completely different. It is precisely because of these differences that it is impossible for parents to treat each child completely fairly.

However, this does not mean that parents can be partial, and in terms of thinking, parents should treat every child fairly.

Second, let children feel that their parents are fair in life.

The fairness of parents' hearts should be reflected in life and made children feel it. For example, there is only one lollipop, but both people have to eat it. When this is closed, it is necessary to respect the child's ideas.

If parents abuse their authority, over time, and when the child is older, it may be perceived as partiality among the parents. It is generally to see who makes the concession first, and if the older child makes a concession, give the lollipop to the younger child, and then praise the older child.

If you don't give in, you will give the lollipop to the one with a tougher attitude, and then promise to give it to the other next time, and then you will continue to coax until the one who feels "at a loss" quiets down and figures it out. Of course, next time you must keep your promise and explain the experience of the last time. Both children generally understand and eventually accept it happily.

3. Make every child feel that they are the focus of their parents.

Let every child feel that they are the focus of their parents, and the child will be happier. Sometimes, absolute fairness is cold, and children experience the attitude of their parents, not love.

How to make two children live in harmony in a two-child family.

1. When dealing with conflicts between siblings, parents should treat themselves as spectators and mediators, and do not get involved. If the parents are always on the front line, it will not be good for the two children to get along for a long time.

2. Don't compare casually. Parents should not compare their children with others, and their own children should not compare themselves with each other. Even if the second child doesn't do well, don't just take the boss out and say how it is.

3. Encourage positive performance among children. When there is some positive interaction and performance between the two children, especially when the eldest helps the younger siblings in the family, you should praise him and encourage him. This is very important for the two children to get along well.