What is the truth about Van Gogh s suicide?

On July 29, 1890, Van Gogh closed his eyes forever in his house in the small town of Auvers, with 12 golden sunflowers in a vase in one corner.

The gun from which he committed suicide is now kept in a museum for people to admire. Three months ago, when I was looking at Van Gogh's self-portrait at the Musée d'Orsay, I wondered why this genius chose this path. After reading Mr. Feng Zikai's little book "The Life of Van Gogh", I think I probably understand.

Physically, he was a mentally ill person. Feelings are prone to large fluctuations, and it is natural that there will be all kinds of abnormal behaviors in daily life. Van Gogh had violent conflicts with the three most important people in his life.

He had a falling out with his father, cut off contact with his younger brother Theo for a year, and cut off his right ear in the Yellow House because of his anger with Gauguin.

There was a beast hidden in his heart, which jumped out and bit him when he was weak.

From an artistic point of view, although Van Gogh has many works in his lifetime, they have not been recognized by the mainstream. He despised the "representation of nature" of the mainstream painting school at that time, and pursued "artistic expression" wholeheartedly. At a time when other painters were still chasing light and color, he put his unbridled catharsis feelings first.

His life melts into these paintings full of emotion, either scorching, tragic, depressed, gentle, dignified, anxious, passionate, or sad. There was always a fire burning in his chest throughout his life, which was never extinguished until the end.

Different stages, different experiences, different feelings, if the rich feelings expressed in all Van Gogh's works are transformed into an emoji, it is no less than the eighteen consecutive shots of the current Internet celebrity beauties. Unfortunately, except for a few people who recognized his value during his lifetime, most people regarded his paintings as the nonsense of a madman.

He walked alone on the road.

In a secular sense, Van Gogh was an outright loser. He tried many professions – art shop salesman, missionary, teacher, painter, all of which failed. He couldn't adapt to any job, so he lived on the financial support of his father and younger brother all his life.

Van Gogh was sensitive, vulnerable, and as a social being, he could not fit in, feeling ashamed and bitter about not being able to take care of himself. He couldn't really enter the utopia of oil painting, and was still disturbed by the world.

Everyone comes into this world with their own mission. Most of us have lived a similar life, ordinary, plain, and unable to get out of an invisible circle. Van Gogh's mission was not to beg for a living, but to create a new world.

He lived too hard in this world, too hard.

Death is easier than life, and life is more bitter than death." As he struck the trigger, he thought of his father's last words.