In the face of winning and losing, how to make children less stubborn?

I think it's actually a good thing for children to be more concerned about winning or losing, because our society is a society where the law of the jungle is the law of the jungle and the competition is very fierce. So it's a very good thing to have a certain desire to win, but if the desire to win is too heavy, it will definitely have a very big impact on the child. Not only can it affect the child's physical and mental health, but it can also have a detrimental effect on his relationshipsTherefore, parents must correct their children in a timely manner when they find that their children are too eager to win or lose, and I think parents can start from the following aspects.

First of all, why children have such a strong desire to win is mainly because parents have too much hope for their children。So the child will feel that if I don't do well, the parents may not be satisfied, and the parents may feel ashamed. Therefore, if you want to completely change your child's state, you need the parents themselves.

Make a change, such as not saying too much in front of your child about what is expected of him. If parents don't pay too much attention to their children's wins and losses, their children will gradually pay less attention to wins and losses.

Secondly, parents must play a good leading roleBecause we all know that. If parents show it in their daily work and life, and are particularly concerned about the desire to win, then your child will definitely be particularly concerned. For example, in a job appraisal, you have to compete with other employees, but you show at home that you especially want to win, then after many times like this, the child will learn to be like you and have a very strong desire to win.

Finally, I think you can communicate with your child about this matter and tell your child what you really want to sayFor example, if you tell him that what your parents want most is for you to grow up healthy. It's okay to be happy every day, you don't need to put so much pressure on yourself, in fact, there is nothing to fail, because life can't be successful all the time. It's very important to learn to put your mindset right.

Since the child already has a very strong desire to win, if you want to really correct it, it still needs a long process, and parents must pay a lot of patience in this process.

Usually praise the children more, pay attention to the process, and make them work hard to persevere, rather than looking at the final result.

Guide your child to enjoy the process. Don't put too much emphasis on winning or losing. There are wins and losses in life, how can you always win. If you lose, you should accept it calmly, and you should think about why you lost. Failure is the mother of success.

I think that children should not pay too much attention to their own gains and losses, and parents should also restrain themselves not to compare their children with others.

If you want your child not to be stubborn, you must communicate with your child more, improve your child's emotional intelligence, and let your child know that there are many times when you are too stubborn, and you need to pay a great price.

Dear, children who can't afford to lose can be encouraged and educated like this, I hope it will be useful to you:

Understand emotions and encourage catharsis.

As long as you don't hurt yourself, don't hurt others, cry, make trouble, it doesn't hurt.

If you can start the challenge again after crying, you are a good child.

Avoid over-reinforcing failures.

We may involuntarily carry malice towards failure. No one likes to fail, and we don't want to see our children fail, so we can't help but "punish" them for failure.

Analyze the reasons for failure and help your child understand what to do to win.

Although failure is the mother of success, in order to achieve this transformation, we need to learn from experience and improve it before we can make progress. However, due to the lack of knowledge and life experience, it is difficult for children to complete this analysis independently. Therefore, this process of analysis and summary requires the help and participation of parents.

How should children be educated in the face of unaffordable losses? There are several main ways to educate children:

1.Discipline yourself and set a good example. As the saying goes, parents are their children's first teachers, and teaching by example is more important than teaching.

A parent who doesn't like to study only eats, drinks and has fun, a parent who doesn't know what to do, a parent who has bad conduct, vulgar behavior, selfishness, and disrespect for the elderly, will not raise a good child.

2.Create a good environment for your child. Environmental edification has an important impact on children's growth, parents should consciously create a good living environment and learning environment, cultivate a good atmosphere, so that children are infected and edified.

3.Appropriate rewards and punishments. When children do the right things that are worthy of praise, parents should praise and reward them and encourage them to continue to persevere.

When a child does something incorrect, parents should choose an appropriate way to criticize and correct the child, and in serious cases, they can punish the child appropriately and slightly. You can't just have rewards and no punishments, otherwise it's easy to fall into a situation of spoiling your children.

In order to educate their children well, parents need to have close ties with their children, provide them with decision-making and empowerment, learn to adjust their children's mentality, control their children's material possessiveness, and maintain harmony in family life.

First, close ties with your child. Friendship plays an important role in cultivating a happy character. Therefore, encourage your child to play with his peers and let them learn to socialize.

Second, empower children to make decisions and empower them. Directing and controlling a child's behavior is closely linked to a happy personality. Give your child opportunities to know how to use their decision-making power.

Third, we must learn to adjust our children's mentality. They should be taught that the future is always bright when they are frustrated in some way, and they should be taught to adjust their mental state.

Fourth, control your child's material possessiveness. They should be educated with concrete examples so that they understand that happiness in life cannot be equated with material possessions alone.

Fifth, families should maintain a happy and harmonious family life. One of the main factors in cultivating a child's happy character is family harmony. There are data that show that the family has a great influence on the shaping of a child's character.

To be calm, winning or losing is only temporary, don't care too much, the important thing is not the result of respect, but the middle of the fight Sun Cheng, as long as you work hard and pay, even if you lose, you will not regret it.

I think you need to tell your child that there is nothing to be afraid of failure, that failure can allow you to accumulate experience and be able to turn the tables against the wind next time, so don't be afraid.

Parents should tell their children that failure is the mother of success, and that there will be no success without failure. Everyone experiences failure, and that's normal.

Yesterday, I saw a colleague post a circle of friends on WeChat, to the effect that their family of three was competing for fixed-point shooting, and her son won the second place, so her son was unhappy, emotional, and lost his temper. The couple couldn't coax well, and then it evolved into the couple taking turns to "educate" her son, and they almost started beating people, and a happy shooting game broke up unhappily.

They say that when educating the child, he cannot afford to lose, and indeed this situation is a sign that the child cannot afford to lose. When I saw this circle of friends, I thought that my children would also have such a situation, it turned out that it was not only my children who would be so filial.

It is understood that not admitting defeat is also the child's nature to call for seeds. With the development of society, the progress of education, and the better and better living conditions, most of today's children have an inner sense of self-confidence and superiority. In their cognition, they are the best, so they can't tolerate the reality that others are better than him, and they can't afford to lose.

If your child can't afford to lose, how can she guide them? Based on my personal experience and understanding, this problem can be dealt with in three aspects.

First of all, when the child cannot afford to lose, parents should be calm, accept his emotions of failure, and allow him to vent his temper. Don't try to convince him to reason with him; Don't "hypocritically" comfort him and say it's okay, he will definitely win next time; Don't criticize him or even beat him in public, but wait for him to vent his emotions first, and then guide the child to discover his strengths and weaknesses in a certain aspect, and encourage the child to continue to work hard. This not only protects the child's self-confidence, but also stimulates the child's potential, so as to get out of the shadow of not being able to lose as soon as possible.

Then, when the child has a good performance, parents should give timely affirmation and praise. When praising your child, praise your child for being "concrete" rather than exaggerating. For example, if your child is good at a certain drawing, don't just praise him for it

You draw so beautifully, you're awesome! Instead, he can praise the specific good points in his paintings, such as how good the lines, layout, colors, etc. in his paintings are, and you can also put forward certain suggestions. Let him not only understand his strengths, but also realize his shortcomings, which is conducive to enhancing self-confidence and continuous improvement.

Children can recognize their own shortcomings, and if they lose in their shortcomings, they will naturally not care so much.

Finally, when parents usually educate their children, don't always deliberately emphasize winning and losing, so that children can look down on winning and losing, and they can win and lose if they are clever and bad. Don't put too much pressure on them, read more books, exercise more, and provide more support for your child's physical and mental development.

Easier said than done, parenting is the same. But no matter what, you have to be mindful, especially when you have a problem. Communicate with others more, work together, actively practice, reflect in time, and make parenting handy.

What are your thoughts on the topic that children can't afford to lose today?

First of all, we must realize that the attitude of parents will affect their children, if you feel that your children's gains and losses are particularly heavy, you might as well think about whether you yourself are also very serious about things? When children don't know anything about the world, most of them learn about the world through their parents' words and deeds, including how to deal with some things, and to a large extent, they are imitating their parents. Therefore, if you want to train your children to have a correct view of winning and losing, then parents must first have a correct view of winning and losing.

If you want your child to be able to continue to learn humbly in the face of winning, then parents should first show such an attitude when facing this kind of thing, and never show how proud or unenterprising they are in front of their children, otherwise children will think that this is the attitude they should have, so they will imitate and learn.

When the child is facing losing, if you want the child to still maintain a self-confidence, and continue to work hard next time, then the attitude of the parents is also very important, we can give an example, for example, the child's grades this time are a little unsatisfactory, slightly worse than the last time, if the parents will be particularly angry at this time, and even scold the child, then the child's heart is also very sensitive, and the next time he faces this kind of situation, he will be very worried and afraid, and even stop moving.

If parents don't want their children to keep this state, then in the face of their children's declining grades or losing the game, parents must not lose their temper, and carefully summarize the reasons with their children, and it is very important to face this matter correctly, because parents' emotions will affect their children, if parents can face it calmly, then children will gradually develop a good attitude, and will no longer be afraid of winning or losing. Parents should have a subtle influence on their children's education, if parents want to cultivate a good attitude and good character for their children, then parents must do this first, do not parents can not do it, and force children to do it, will only arouse children's rebellious psychology, parents' influence on children is very large.

It is necessary to let children understand that there are wins and losses, that it is impossible for everyone to win, and that it is normal to lose, and it is impossible to play well all the time.

First of all, we should let the child have a normal mentality, and at the same time, we should not let the child's desire to win or lose too strong, we should treat it reasonably according to our own strength, if we meet someone stronger than ourselves, we should admire each other, and if we meet someone weaker than ourselves, we should also encourage each other.

Children should be told that if they fail, they should adjust their mentality, and they should think about what they have made a mistake. There should be no comparison. If you win, you should tell your parents, and then you will encourage your child.

Tell your child that failure is the mother of success, and that if you encounter a failure, you should learn from it so that you can become better.

It depends on the usual words and behaviors of parents, just don't show too much intensity.

1. Children should be praised when they win, and encouraged when they loseWhen playing games and competitions, parents should not be afraid of their children crying and deliberately losing to him. The child should be praised when he wins, and the child should tell him when he loses: "There will be winners and losers in the game, and losing this time does not mean that you will lose in the future, as long as you work hard, you will always succeed."

At the same time, parents teach their children some skills to improve their ability to play a simple game, so that children can win the competition with their own Shitong Kaili.

2. Alleviate the child's pain caused by not being able to loseWhen the child has become unable to lose, parents can find ways to alleviate the child's frustration and even pain: for example, try to find comforting things for the child from failure, for example: "When you were riding a scooter just now, the wind blew all the hair up, very handsome, what do you think?"

Another example is to take your child to do something else and let him discover his brilliance, such as: "You folded our clothes so neatly, it's great!" ”

3. Give children the opportunity to face failureParents should not be afraid of their children losing their orders, because failure will allow children to accumulate experience and gradually improve their ability to overcome setbacks. Therefore, parents should not deliberately exclude some possible difficulties for him, but leave the opportunity for the child to face failure on his own. For example, when a child is about to succeed in building a block, the block falls over.

Although the child is crying and fussing, parents should not help the child build it immediately, but discuss with him how to make the building blocks less likely to collapse.

4. Guide children to introspect and summarize lessons In the face of children crying because of failure, parents should not be impatient and reprimand, but should understand and accept the child's emotions, and comfort the child and say: "Mom knows that you want to win, and Mom is the same, but if Mom loses and cries like you, or even destroys her own work, will you be very angry?" Will you still play with me?

Parents often use this empathy to guide their children to think and recognize their mistakes, which can help children summarize lessons and do better in the future, and will also look at the results of the game more rationally.