My husband and I have a disagreement on educating our children, and he refuses to communicate with m

Communication is a two-way street, if your husband refuses to communicate with you, then are you considering a different way of communication? We can take the form of nonviolent communication.

1.Express your feelings by listing facts.

In the process of communication, we are careful not to use judgment, but start by listing facts and expressing feelings. And when you use the way of judgment as the beginning of communication, it is the beginning of violent communication, and the communication between two people will slowly lead to the way of violence.

For example, if you are telling your husband that he should spend more time with the children, this is a comment and does not reflect the needs of your husband, then we can say some facts, and when you say to your husband that he is derelict in his duties, it is an evaluation of your husband, and of course your husband will be unhappy after listening to this evaluation, so this communication channel is closed. We can say that you have only been with your child for a total of 1 hour this week, and I think the child will miss his dad a lot, and I am also a little sad.

2.Speak a clear and unambiguous request.

It is very important to say clear and clear requirements, you just say to your husband not to be derelict in your duties and take more children, then for your husband, he can go home and watch the children at dinner for five minutes is to take care of the children, so everyone's understanding and judgment of this good is different, if we do not clearly express our expectations and requirements, it is difficult for my husband to guess.

We can say this: I hope you can spend more than an hour with your child 3 days a week, so that your child can feel the love of his father and grow better.

3.Solve the important questions first.

On the question of whether the child sleeps with himself at night, there is no particularly clear conclusion and standard answer, whose answer is not necessarily the most accurate, and it is necessary to make a specific judgment according to the child's situation, if the child's father will feel that it is more important for the child to exercise more, and it is more important to have courage, then we still use the above communication methods to persuade the father to accompany the child more, and it is also a way to increase the father's courage with the power of the father's example. I believe that if the father can accompany the child more and understand the child better, these problems can be solved.

I see, you say, that it is very difficult for you and your husband to agree on parenting issues. However, I see that it is difficult for you to enter the state of communication at the same frequency at present.

Actually,Parenting disagreements are not a problem, but the inability to communicate is a real problem

Why does your husband refuse to communicate with you? There's a reason for that.

My feeling is that all your statements are based on your position, and I can feel that you are really tired, alone with two children, physically exhausted, and your husband can't share your affairs, which makes you feel very tired.

But is it possible that he also has some needs and demands that cannot be met in this family, and the "non-participation in parenting" you see is actually just a manifestation of his dissatisfaction with this family.

In fact, men do not necessarily attach less importance to child-rearing than womenIt's just that they don't think it takes so much time to educate their children, and they don't think that children's things should be anxious like that, soThese are different perceptions of the same problem.

Going back to your husband's appeal, have you tried?Put aside the children's affairs and have a good talk with each other?

If he doesn't have enough energy to solve his own problems, then it will be difficult for him to see you and your children.

So, my advice to you is:Put the child's affairs aside first, solve the problem between you and your husband first, and listen to his appeals.

InIn terms of communication strategy, you can try to adjust itWhen you say "you should take more children", you are using "role-playing" requirements to measure him. Once you measure others with role-based requirements, it is difficult for you to see the real other person, his feelings, his needs, and his demands.

Let go of the requirements of characterization and narrow down your "should circle".Try to see the other person's heartand, at the same time, put what you needIt is expressed in the way of "weakness, weakness, and softness".Don't take everything for grantedBe more gentle and grateful, the other party may be more receptive.

A person will not snub his wife and children for no reason, and he will not keep the door of his heart closed when his wife is gentle, active, and weak, unless you have other problems long ago, unless he does not love this family.

After reading your question, to be honest, it is not a simple "technical" question, but can feel the imbalance in the family relationship, and say a little personal opinion for reference:

First: In terms of family relations, the relationship between husband and wife comes first, and the relationship between parents and children comes second. Meaning:

First deal with the relationship between you and your husband, and the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious; Then communicate the issue of educational philosophy, and the two sides try to reach an agreement.

If you have a good relationship with your husband, then he will consider your position and be willing to spend time with the children, at least there will be no refusal to communicate.

At present, there is such a phenomenon in many families, where husband and wife have no other common topics except for the topic of children, and the relationship is indifferent, and once the issue of children's education disagrees, the two have nothing to say. You must know that when you get married, you must have two people who have feelings to come together, not to raise a child.

Therefore, my personal suggestion: let go of any problem of children's education first, and the children will not be bad for a while, but first repair the relationship between husband and wife, and the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious, which is the best family education.

Second: When it comes to educating children, both parties should learn together, or drive each other to make progress together.

In this process, the mother can not be too strong and too arbitrary, but listen to the father's opinions more, maybe the man's perspective will be calmer and more rational.

In most people's experience, children can sleep alone at the age of age, and it doesn't matter if some children are more timid and can be old age.

If your husband is not willing to let the child sleep with you, and the child does not dare to sleep alone, you can go over to accompany the child for a period of time.

Of course, it also exposes some of your husband's shortcomings, unwilling to accompany his children, it's really not what a father should do, his own children are not accompanied, what else is important in his heart?

In the family, it is common for fathers and mothers to have differences in their educational philosophies. The key is how to communicate and reach a consensus.

I have a friend whose child is about to enter junior high school, on the one hand, it is a public middle school, although it is not famous, but it is not bad, and the study pressure is relatively small. On the other hand, there will be some financial pressure in private schools, and the learning pressure in private schools is relatively high, and the children will be more tired.

My friend insisted that his child go to private school, and there was a good way out in the future, but my husband thought that he should go to a public school, so tired and useless, and people who had no way out when they were admitted to college were one by one.

The two of them quarreled for a long time because of this matter, but neither of them could convince anyone.

In fact, there are a lot of reasons to think about this from their point of view. But they only forgot to ask for the child's opinion, which is the child's choice after all, and they ignore this.

My advice is to sit down calmly, lay out the pros and cons and the child's situation, put aside your own preconceptions, and look at the matter rationally with the facts as the entrance. In fact, it is clear where to go.

Sometimes the more we communicate with our loved ones, the more likely we are to be emotionally unbalanced, thinking that the other person does not understand us, but we do not think that we do not understand others. In a relaxed conversation, everyone is willing to be reasonable, and the more intense the rhetoric, the more abrupt the communication.

Moreover, it is not about who is right, but who is more reasonable, easier to operate, and in line with the child's physical and mental development.

There is also a method called moisturizing things silently, you don't have to change the other half's mind in a hurry, but do it yourself first, so that the other half can see the effect of what you do, everyone is for the good of the child, will not be entangled in the method, but is more willing to see the child's progress.

When it comes to educating children, the two parties should agree on the same opinion, and if they really can't decide, they can ask the parents of both parties, don't quarrel often, and set the right example for the child.

If you have a disagreement with your husband about your child's education, and you often quarrel about it, you should first sit down with your husband calmly and talk. For the sake of the child's healthy growth, there should be a consensus.

Husbands and wives should make an agreement privately that one person will pretend to be red and the other will be black, so that it is also for the sake of the child's future growth.

Understand the other half's views on education; Calm down and think about the problem; Say what you think.

My husband is not educating my children in the right way, how can I communicate with my husband about this?

Control your emotions well, and one party can make appropriate concessions.

The position of husband and wife at home is equal, when there is a dispute in the face of children's education, we must first keep calm, when two people have different concepts, the first thing should be to understand, tolerant mentality, keep reasonable, and then talk, teach children when they are angry, but also try to maintain patience, don't blame at every turn, this will make the child more and more upset, don't be too anxious, listen to the child's thoughts, don't blindly suppress the child, give them more autonomy to stop the front. When it comes to educating children, couples can consult with each other, and it is best to unite in the front.

There are rules, but there must also be warmth, so that children have a good feeling in their hearts.

Sit down for a family meeting.

When two people show inconsistent attitudes towards education, we should also deal with it in a timely manner, we can sit down and have a family meeting according to the actual situation of the child, find the cause of the problem, but also communicate with each other, and deal with things rationally, it is best to be able to resolve the differences privately. Husband and wife should also respect each other, consider things more from each other's attitude, ask him what his thoughts are, what are the reasons for opposing him, and when they have the same mind, their natural feelings will be good. Prevent a crisis of trust between couples.

After all, if you want to live in harmony, you have to eliminate the estrangement, and a good life depends on the two of you to maintain it.

Rational distinctions and democratic education should be carried out.

If you want to educate your children successfully, you should also be good at using sensible methods in teaching and guiding. Both husband and wife feel that their discipline methods are better, so it is okay for one person to take a step back, discuss with the children, see whose education method they like, weigh the pros and cons, and then finally be able to use the voting method to choose who will teach with full authority. We usually need to know more about children's interests and hobbies, so that children can choose their own interests, and their learning power will be higher.

There is no controversy about who is good at what subject and who is good at what category, so that there is no dispute.

Sit down with your husband and have a good chat about this scumbag flirtation, and tell your husband to educate the child to be like a leaky re-search rent, if the method is not appropriate, the child's character will be very bad, which is not conducive to the child's growth.

Be sure to reason with your husband, it's best to reach an agreement, the two of you must strengthen understanding, and don't quarrel when you encounter anything.

You can talk to your subject about your thoughts so that he will be aware of his problem.

Educating children is a very important topic, and it is not uncommon for couples to have differences in their views on education. In this case, the following suggestions may help you:

Open and honest communication: First, you and your husband need to sit down and communicate honestly about each other's perspectives and concerns. Make sure both parties have a chance to express their views and try to understand the other's point of view.

Common Goals: Try to find the same goals and values that you share. While there may be differences in the details, there are some core values that you may agree on as your child grows.

Respect for diversity: Remember that everyone has different upbringing and experiences that influence their approach to education. Respect and appreciate this diversity while trying to find a balance.

Compromise and Cooperation: Compromise is very crucial when it comes to educating children. See if you can agree on some areas and compromise on others.

Expert opinion: If your opinions are very different, you may want to consider seeking expert advice, such as an educational psychologist, family counselor, etc. They can provide sound advice to help you resolve your differences.

Experiment and adapt: Try to validate your approach in practice and then adjust it to the mess. Sometimes, the actual situation may make you realize that a certain method is more suitable for your child.

Shared decision-making: Try to avoid turning the decision to educate your child into a power struggle. Instead, the Taste Book turns decision-making into a shared process, involving children and making decisions based on their needs and wishes.

Most importantly, try to be respectful, understanding, and cooperative. A child's education requires a combined effort from parents to ensure that they receive well-rounded growth and support.