How to overcome the problem of not knowing how to reject others?

You can recall what considerations you used not to reject others, is the other party's request very unreasonable, blindly accommodating others is consuming yourself, after a long time you will have no status in the hearts of others, people will feel that what you do is a matter of course, so we must learn to refuse others, refuse others to go with your own heart, if you feel that people, things, time is not suitable, you have to refuse the other party, if the other party's request is very unreasonable, then directly refuse, express your reluctance, Let the other party know that you are dissatisfied, there is nothing to be embarrassed about, the more embarrassed you are, the more embarrassed others will be to you, if you feel that others have made a lot of courage to speak to you, then measure your ability to do your best, let the other party know that you did your best, even if the final thing is not done, the other party will thank you.

Elegance represents harmony and beauty, and it is used in rejection to not hurt feelings, not to affect the relationship, a tactful, natural, and beautiful style. For example, if you want to be tactful, according to the situation of his affairs, there is some unavoidable and helpless suffering, and you can explain it tactfully, and others will still be moved to understand your sincerity. For example, substitution, smile refusal, you can politely invite him to sit in a secluded place, smiling, solemn attitude, serious consideration, other ways to solve, can explain the first try, how sure it can be done, I believe that most people do not care about the number of grasp, at least by your attitude infected, grateful, this is a helpful refusal.

In addition, if he refuses and can provide other ways to find a way out, it actually helps him.

In many cases, it is not the act itself that makes a person feel uncomfortable about rejection, but the attitude and language used at the time. And the other person is likely to show this discomfort, which in turn tends to make us uneasy. Therefore, before refusing, we should choose the right language, show a friendly attitude, and let others feel that we respect him.

In the past, I would not refuse people, always causing unnecessary trouble, but the relationship was not good. In fact, everyone is an adult and can understand each other. For example, a colleague asks you out to hang out, but on the day of the appointment, something suddenly happens.

But take the initiative to apologize sincerely: I'm sorry, because of something, we have a break next week, okay? I invite you.

In fact, the relationship is resolved.

Don't understand, refuse. Not knowing is not really not understanding, but not being sure or not knowing how to make a decision. Ordinary people are afraid of face and are unwilling to cause embarrassment to others because of something, but in fact, they are very reluctant in their hearts, and the lack of means and methods leads to the entanglement of personal feelings.

Rejection is an emotion or behavior of opposition that arises because the heart is unwilling to do something. Rejecting others will have an unhappy mood for yourself and the other party, but sometimes you can't do it, and when you can't reach the ability, you will not know how to reject others. Refusal requires means and skills, and while refusing, it is necessary to implicitly tell the other party what you think, and also take into account the psychological feelings of others.

If you don't know how to reject others, it is recommended to read more books about emotional intelligence, enrich yourself and improve your good interpersonal communication.

If you don't know how to reject others, it's easy for the other party to think that you are an indifferent and ruthless, prejudiced against him, or have no sympathy, embarrass him, or even stiffen the relationship or hold grudges, so how to refuse, and reject others gracefully, I think you must first do not refuse immediately, say no directly, and don't refuse easily, because it is easy to lose friendship, and don't refuse casually, so that the other party will feel that you don't value him, easy to cause disgust, and don't refuse ruthlessly or arrogantly, Ruthlessness can make people embarrassed in the past and turn against each other. Arrogance will make people unacceptable and unwilling to engage with you.

Some people are born with a short language, and they ask you to play with them, and they say directly: If you have something today, next time. Although there is a saying:

Too many words will be defeated. But at this time, it is counterproductive. We must state an incident to let the other person know why we refused.

Then tell a solution, next time I'll tell you as soon as I take a break, you must reply to the message, I'm really sorry this time. In fact, just say polite words and explain the facts clearly.

In interpersonal communication, how to overcome the "embarrassment" psychology when rejecting others?

Psychologically speaking, not knowing how to reject others belongs to the pleasing personality, which is a manifestation of psychological unsoundness.

Psychology believes that this phenomenon of not knowing how to refuse is a concrete manifestation of the people-pleasing personality. The formation of a people-pleasing personality is related to the experience of growing up, with the growth of the early years having the greatest impact.

People with a pleasing personality are mostly well-behaved children when they are young, they are obedient and sensible, and they are very loved by their parents and teachers, and under the guidance of their parents and teachers, this pleasing personality is formed.

In fact, the people-pleasing personality is an unsound psychological phenomenon. In psychology, people are self-centered to perceive the things around them, and for a normal person, what he cares about most should be his own feelings first, and then the feelings of others.

Sometimes, due to the needs of objective factors, we will suppress our inner feelings and sacrifice the small self to achieve the greater self, which is a normal phenomenon, because it is the result of our thinking interference.

But this is very different from the people-pleasing personality, which is the loss of the ability to refuse, not the result of the influence of reason, but the long-term effect of psychological failure.

This kind of people are basically "good people" in life, and they are responsive to other people's needs, and sometimes they actually want to refuse, but they can't open their mouths, so although they are reluctant in their hearts, they still become someone else's free labor.

In order to learn to reject others, you must first break the shackles of the people-pleasing personality, specifically, you need to do the following three things.

The first is to face up to your emotional needs and not suppress your heart. Many times the reason why we reject others is because their requests are contrary to our wishes, which triggers our emotional resistance, which is the most fundamental reason why we reject others.

People with a pleasing personality tend to suppress their own resistance, and in order to change this situation, we have to face up to our inner emotional needs and no longer suppress ourselves.

The second is to admit that people are selfish, which many people are ashamed to admit, because they feel that selfishness is a kind of behavior that is not good for Lu Xin, so when others make requests, they feel that they can't be so selfish and should think more about others.

To a certain extent, selfishness is actually self-preservation, and sometimes there is nothing unspeakable about being selfish.

The third is not to pay too much attention to other people's opinions, for people with a people-pleasing personality, when you first start changing, it will definitely cause others to be uncomfortable and disgusted, because they are used to your responsiveness, so when you say "no" to them, it will inevitably cause them discomfort.

Don't stop your changes because of their disgust and discomfort, people will slowly get used to it, and after a while, when they get used to your changes, you will live a much easier life than before.

As an independent person, we don't need to please anyone, we might as well change ourselves from today and refuse to please the personality.

If you want to be friendly, you can act like you're embarrassed, be tactful, and others will know the difficulty. Maybe you can remember this lead sentence before Huaidan, if you don't help Chi Qiao, you are duty, and you are diligent in helping you. Or maybe when you meet people who reject you many times, you will naturally know how to reject others.

Hello. This belongs to the heart as the problem is dry and bright.

If you don't want to do something, you must refuse.

To learn, to practice, to be hard-hearted, the best way to make unreasonable demands and things beyond your power is to refuse.

You must know clearly what you want, so that you can know what you want to refuse, and you must have a clear goal.

1. Don't reject immediately: Refusing immediately will make people think that you are an indifferent and ruthless person, and even think that you have prejudices against him.

2. Don't refuse easily: Sometimes rejecting others easily will lead to many opportunities to help others and gain friendship.

3. Don't refuse in anger: Rejecting others in anger is easy to hurt others in language, making people feel that you have no sympathy at all.

4. Don't reject Fengqin casually: If you refuse too casually, others will think that you don't value him, which is easy to cause disgust.

5 Don't refuse ruthlessly: Ruthless rejection is a cold expression, a stern tone, and no room for accommodation, which will make people embarrassed and even turn against each other.

Eloquence is not a natural talent, it is acquired by hard training. All the eloquent and eloquent speakers in ancient and modern Chinese and foreign history. All of them have succeeded by training hard.

How do you learn to say no to others? Let's take a look with me.

1. Do a good job in psychological construction

Tomoko Tsukakoshi, an expert in workplace psychology, believes that everyone must first recognize that they have the right to reject others. Second, find a place where you can speak freely and consider the timing of the conversation. The next step is to figure out which part of the request you want to decline, and be prepared to clearly communicate, "I can't help you with this part, but if you change it to ......."I can help".

Finally, imagine what might happen after the message is delivered.

2. Find options other than "yes no".

When a colleague asks for help, they feel that they can only accept or refuse, and there is no room for maneuver, which is also one of the reasons why people cannot refuse. In fact, as long as you regard the rejection of other people's requests as negotiating with the other party, you will be able to break through the mental barriers, and it will not be so difficult to speak.

Assuming that the full acceptance of the other party's request is 100% and the outright rejection is 0%, then you may want to try to propose a % or 50% proposal to the other party. You can evaluate the "content", "duration" and "quantity" of the request, for example, 90% of the acceptance is "the deadline is extended by 3 days."'You can do it"; 70% accepted that "I can't be a project manager, but it's okay to participate in the project".

3. Express thanks before refusing, and apologize after refusing

There is also a set of fixed patterns to follow in the statement of rejection: first thank the other party for the invitation; Then continue with the buffer sentence "sorry" and "regret", so that the other party is psychologically prepared for rejection; Then state the reason, and add a clear refusal: "I can't attend because I already have an appointment that day."

Speech & Eloquence Speech Sample Essay: Learn how to say no properly.

If the decline is a relatively inconsequential invitation (such as a dinner), just say that it is inconvenient today; But if you want to refuse extra work, you have to say the specific reason why you can't work overtime tonight. Finally, I don't forget to add an apology, and the end of hoping to maintain the relationship: "I'm really sorry, if I have the opportunity next time, I will be happy to participate."

4. ** or e-mail rejection should be extraordinarily gentle

**Communication, you can't see the speaker's expression and movements, sometimes even if you say it politely, the other party will still feel that your attitude is tough, so when speaking**, you should add buffer sentences and be as considerate as possible to the other party's mood. E-mail, on the other hand, does not even have a sound in a low tone, and it is easy to give people a sense of business, so it is necessary to increase the emotional vocabulary.

5. Face each other head-on and relax your brows

The posture, expression, and tone of voice will also give people different feelings. When refusing, try to face the other person head-on, and turning sideways is easy to give people a sense of vigilance. Frowning can also give a negative impression, so it is most appropriate to consciously soothe the brow as much as possible and speak with a gentle expression close to a smile.

Then when others ask for harm to ourselves, we have to be brave enough to say no.

When facing other people's unreasonable requirements, you must know how to refuse, because refusal is an art, and when faced with your own disgusting requirements, you must be brave to take the initiative to refuse.

In life, we must know how to refuse the unreasonable demands made by others, and we must be brave enough to say no, only in this way can we make ourselves more valuable.

First, be brave. In the face of some unreasonable demands, you must be brave enough to speak up and not be afraid. Second, don't be afraid to offend people.

Don't be afraid to offend people, because the more scared you are, the more you ask for the meeting too much. Third, don't care about other people's feelings, you should take care of yourself first.

Tell the truth about the situationIn the process of refusal, if you want to maintain a good interpersonal relationship with the other person, you should adopt a sympathetic tone and deal with it with understanding the other person's feelings. When some people reject others, because they feel embarrassed, they dare not tell the truth, so that the other party cannot figure out their true meaning, and there are many unnecessary misunderstandings. In fact, in the process of communication, sometimes you have to refuse, which is something that everyone will encounter, so there are not many people who hurt the friendship, but some people speak vaguely and ambiguously, which is easy to cause misunderstanding among others and cause the breakdown of their relationship.

Don't hurt the other person's self-esteem.

Everyone is afraid of being rejected by others, so when rejecting others, as long as you take into account the self-esteem of the other person, you can avoid the tension in the relationship. The way to do this is to praise the other person's strengths first, and then slowly talk about his shortcomings.

This is very effective. Because people are emotional creatures, they often have a prejudiced self-esteem behavior. Therefore, it is important to follow this principle when interacting with people.

Use friendship to convince each other.

In order not to arouse the other person's objection for his opinion, it is best to make him understand: you are his most loyal friend; He did not force him to accept opposing opinions; You are the one who cares most about him and thinks about his long-term interests.

Choose when, where, and when you want to say no. Called abroad. This is a factor that must be taken into account when you reject someone. The general principles are:

1. Refuse as soon as possible, so as not to hurt the other party, you must not be ambiguous and hesitant, and show your attitude to the other party according to the truth, so that the other party can be prepared to carry out another negotiation;

2. Resolutely refuse, avoid moving back to twists and turns, when you politely refuse, you can't use a curved pen too much, and you must let the other party perceive your attitude;

3. Be sure to let the other party understand that there is a chance to refuse this time. If there is distance between the two parties, communication fails.

Therefore, it is necessary to make the other party understand that not trading this time does not mean that there will be no trading in the future. From the point of view of the occasion, it is easier to reject the other party on small occasions. Generally speaking, when two people talk, there are no more than three forms:

One is diagonally opposite; One is the transverse opposite; One is face-to-face. The rejection on the diagonal side is easier for the other party to accept, the rejection on the opposite side is not easy for the other party to export, and the rejection on the opposite side is too ugly for the other party.

Leave a way out for the other party.

When you reject those who are self-righteous, who like to stick to their own opinions, and think that they are virtuous and intelligent, think about it.

First of all, you must listen to the other person's words again from beginning to end. When you listen carefully to what the other person has to say, then decide in your heart how to reject him and convince the other person.

Perhaps, the way you "do not negate" the other person's view will win the other party to affirm your claim. This is because you have left the other person with a way out.