Why are you afraid of both the loneliness of a person and the noise of a group?

This is actually a common human trait, not a characteristic of him alone. It's just that his qualities are artificially magnified.

Fear of a person's loneliness:Because people are social animals, when they are alone, they will have no sense of existence and will be empty. This is perfectly normal.

Fear of the hustle and bustle of the crowd:Because in the crowd, it's not actually yourself, but a character you play. We can see that some people are very good at performing in crowds.

In fact, such a character is cultivated and mutated after training.

Because, man is an emotional animal, and his growth needs the support of feelings, even if you are introverted, you don't need interpersonal relationships.

The need to treat feelings will always be there, and it will be difficult to control. So Maslow.

The needs of people are divided into five levels: physiological needs, and safety needs.

The need for love and belonging, the need for self-esteem, the need for self-actualization.

And the fear of being in contact with people can be the best way to deal with your phobia of interpersonal communication. Some people hate or are afraid to face people, not only because they feel shy and embarrassed, but because they have a strong sense of insecurity and rejection about the world outside of them. This anxiety and social disorder caused by maladjustment to social life and groups is called social phobia.

**Social phobia can be divided into two parts: psychological ** and medication**, people with mild conditions only need to accept psychology**, the doctor will do psychological construction for the patient and understand the main reasons for the patient's social phobia in the process of consultation, and enlighten from the crux of the problem to help the patient build self-confidence. If the condition is more severe, the doctor will cooperate with the medication**.

This quote from the psychologist Carl Jung is the most appropriate statement I have ever seen about loneliness.

I've had a lot of lonely moments lately, not because I don't have family and friends, it's not that I don't have a circle of contacts, but I can't express my feelings in my heart.

When you feel pressured, you call your parents **, but you can't tell your real experiences and feelings;

When communicating with friends, I never like to talk, and I always want to talk and stop;

I didn't dare to talk to my teammates about my inner feelings, I was afraid of giving them a bad impression and negative emotions.

When I suppressed my emotions too much, I chose to live in my own world; When I have to face these feelings too much, I always choose to avoid them, and the problem is not solved in substance.

So what am I afraid of? What am I running away from? What are you afraid to confront head-on?

It seems to be people, more specifically relationships.

In this society, we must have a sense of existence, make our existence more meaningful, and establish some connections with the world to a greater or lesser extent, and establish a deep and shallow relationship with the world.

In order to maintain the naturalness of the relationship, I tend to think more about the other person, feel that my thoughts, opinions and needs are not important, and then "seem" to avoid the conflict in this way, so as to achieve inner peace.

So habitually avoid, when I face an unfamiliar environment, or when I want to re-establish some relationships, I often can't avoid conflict, but when I have to conflict head-on, I often feel panicked and overwhelmed. And if it's to build a deeper relationship, my subconscious choice is to push others away.

I don't know what the use of writing this down is, maybe it's a process of awareness! Only when you are aware of your own problems can you think about how to solve them.

I'm sure it's certainly not a quick process and can be long and difficult.

I'm reminded of psychologist Adler's theory of "topic separation", which is a way that is generally recommended on the web to help us resolve some of the conflicts and uncertainties in our relationships. Because a partner who is as sensitive as me and always cares about other people's opinions is always easily influenced by other people's actions, words and deeds.

Topic separation, simply put, is to distinguish what is someone else's problem and what is your own problem.

We should not interfere in other people's issues, but we should also prevent others from interfering in our issues, and we should have the courage to be hated.

Every time I hear such a theory, it suddenly dawns on me. However, in order to actually solve its own problems, it is also necessary to constantly separate the issues

1.Record an event of the moment.

2.Think about what your issues are.

3.Practice action and have the courage to be hated.

4.Feedback, what was the result, was it what I thought at the time?

I think I want to record some moments in my life when I am about to have conflicts, and give feedback on my thoughts and actions in time, so as to change the inertia of avoiding problems in the first place.

I believe that I can finally have the "courage to be hated"!