Don t be too complicated, simple and clear tea jokes, !!! Urgent!!!!

I hope that people will last a long time, and they will become a bastard.

Men who tend to say "I love you" want the situation to be "you love me".

One thing that all lovelorn people have in common is that their lover doesn't like him or her.

Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.

My love doesn't care about how long it lasts, it only cares about what I once had, I want to say that we broke up.

The ideal is too far away from me, so I should buy the shoes that Liu Xiang wears, so that I can achieve my goal in 12.88 seconds.

There is no difficulty in life, how boring it is; Life has become more boring when it becomes difficult!

That's all, I hope the landlord accepts and adds points.

1 What is the name of wine that has been buried in the ground for a thousand years?

Answer: Alcohol.

2 And there was a pig, and he walked and walked, and he came to England, and what became of him?

Answer: pig

3 The teacher in class randomly checks and memorizes the text, and the piglets, dogs, and kittens all raise their hands, who will the teacher call?

Answer: Puppies, because of Want Want Senbei.

4 Butterflies, ants, spiders, centipedes, they work together, and which one of them is not paid?

Answer: Centipede, because it is reactive.

5 The elephant in the zoo has the longest trunk, but who is the second longest?

Answer: baby elephants.

6 Which fruit has the worst eyesight?

Answer: Mango.

7 Which two types of vegetables have cell phones?

Answer: Turnip greens, each with its own love.

8 Why is a turtle walking over a pile of poop but leaving only 3 footprints on it?

Answer: One foot pinched his nose.

Tragedy...In fact, there are many of them in everyone...But then why do lx's have to pinch like me?

1.A polar bear was lonely on the ice in a daze, and when it was bored, it began to pluck its own hair and play, one ......Two ......Three ......In the end, there was not a single one left, and then he died of cold.

2.Xiaobai is very much like his brother, do you know why? Because: it's like a big white.

3.Once upon a time, a man was fishing and caught a squid. The squid begged him: You let me go! The man said, "Okay, then I'm going to ask you a few questions." The squid was very happy and said: You can take the test! Then the squid was grilled.

Belch. Let's put it simply.

Teachers in the countryside used to say to the students in the village; When you go home, don't just know how to kick shuttlecock. Skipping rope and helping the family do some work when you get home; Burn the fire and hug the child, but the teacher said it was done; When you get home, you can burn the child's hug fire. The whole class is dizzy.

Why do puppies die in the desert? Because it can't find the pole.

In the early years, being a soldier had to pass the political examination, and it was impossible for a person with an innocent family history to be admitted

There is a person who wrote in the political trial form: My father was a greedy farmer (poor) who grew up eating sugar (bran) and lived by fighting (firewood) all day long

There was a woman who went out to work and sent a letter home:

It rains every day here, and my colleagues have lives (umbrellas) on my own, and I don't have lives (umbrellas) at home, and I have lives (umbrellas) to send me lives (umbrellas), otherwise I will use money to buy lives (umbrellas) When I was at home, my belly (gall) was very small, and after coming here, with the help of my boyfriends, my belly (gall) has grown day by day

One day, I went to a restaurant with a foreign friend to eat dumplings.

Nice service lady came to ask. My friends always don't miss any opportunity to practice Chinese, rushing to say, how much does it cost to "sleep"?

The young lady was embarrassed and very angry, and I hurriedly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings were.

When the dumplings were served, I asked him if he wanted mustard.

He recruited Miss again, is there a "show"?

The young lady said cheerfully, "Yes, what kind of show do you want?" ”

It's the yellow one.

suburbs), the more you look at it, the more beautiful it becomes!

Yunnan Two Yunnan people went to Beijing to play, and when they heard that Peking duck was famous, they decided to eat it. As soon as he sat down, one of them said to the waiter"Go to those two roast ducks to shake.

Fling! "After waiting for a while, they saw the waiter carrying a roast duck and dangling it in front of them, and left. One of them couldn't wait, so he called the waiter and asked for it.

What not to serve them roast duck, said the waiter"Didn't you tell me to bring up a roast duck to shake?"

Note: ("Shake off"In Yunnan dialect refers to:"Eat")

Henan Lao Dong is a native of Henan, came to the south to eat breakfast, and asked as soon as he entered the door"Miss. How much is sleeping (dumplings) a night (bowl)?"The waiter was very upset and said:"No. Only.

Steamed bread. "Lao Dong said:"Oh, and it's okay to touch (steamed buns). "The waiter was extremely annoyed and scolded"Rogue! "Lao Dong was extremely surprised"Six cents? It's so cheap! "

See the chicken.

Once upon a time there was a landlord who loved to eat chickens, and the tenants rented him to grow them.

The family's field can't just pay the rent, and you have to send a chicken to him first.

There was a tenant named Zhang San, who went to pay rent to the landlord at the end of the year and tenant the land for the second year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, and after paying the rent, he told the landlord about the second year's tenant land, and when the landlord saw that he was empty-handed, he looked to the sky and said, ""There are no three kinds of fields in this field.

Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his words and said:"Don't give Zhang San to whom"

Zhang San said:"Your words become so fast! "

The landlord replied"Fang Cai's sentence is'Nonsense'At this moment, this sentence is made by seeing the opportunity (chicken).'."

The ears are here. The newly appointed magistrate is a native of Shandong, and because he wants to hang up his son, he said to his master:"You can buy me two bamboo poles. "

The master put the Shandong accent"Bamboo poles"Listen to it"Pork liver", hurriedly agreed, hurriedly ran to the butcher shop, and said to the shopkeeper:"The new county master wants to buy two pork livers, you are an understanding person, you should know it in your heart! "

The shopkeeper was a clever man, and immediately cut two pork livers and presented another pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the master thought to himself:"The old man told me to buy pork liver, and of course this pig ear is mine......"So he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them in his pockets. Back to the county office, to the county magistrate:"Back to the master, the pork liver has been bought! "

Seeing that the master bought back the pork liver, the magistrate said angrily"Your ears are gone! "When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied:"Ear ......Ears ............ hereIn my ......In my pocket! "

Yes"machine"Rideable.

There was a salesman who went on a business trip to Guangzhou, and after arriving in Beijing, because he wanted to go by plane, he sent a telegram to the manager because he was afraid that the manager would not agree to the reimbursement:"There is an opportunity to multiply, multiply it or not"The manager received the telegram and thought it was a deal"machine"It's arrived, and I'll call you back immediately:"Take it as you can. "

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse the travel expenses, the manager did not agree to reimburse the airline ticket because of the stipulation that the plane would not be reimbursed due to the lack of rank. The salesman took out the manager and called back, and the manager was dumbfounded.

Place-names. On the night of New Year's Day, the younger brother took two overseas Chinese students to dinner at home, one was cheerful and the other was more restrained.

During the banquet, the cheerful classmate smiled and pointed to the restrained classmate and introduced us"He's from Burma, so he's shy. "Then he raised his glass to toast everyone, raised his head and drank it all, and then said"I'm from Yangon. "

The principal was furious. At the school council meeting at the end of the semester, the principal was furious at the inefficiency of personnel administration. He said:"ignorance in charge of the director's business; Unconscious personnel in charge of personnel management; As an officer, he is not an officer! "

Meetings in the villages. A township meeting, due to the homonym, the village chief said:"Rabbits, dried shrimps, don't have melons, pickles are too expensive. "(Comrades, villagers, do not speak, now the meeting is open.)

The moderator said:"Pickles please sausage pulp melon. "(Now I give the floor to the village chief.)

Lady Arctic.

A: "I treat her like the North Pole and call her Miss North Pole." ”

B: "Why?" ”

A: "She's as cold as ice, but she's like a magnet for me. ”

Under the shade of a tree in the hospital, a couple of lovers are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused, you should put her flat on the ground, go away and let me come."

A joke that wants to resonate with many people can't be too elegant

Cold joke refers to the joke itself because of boredom, homophonic words, translation, or omitting the subject, different logic, assertion or special content, or due to the performer's tone or expression, etc., resulting in a joke can not achieve the purpose of being funny, and it is difficult to make people laugh and become cold, but it does not mean that the joke itself is dull, which is also a manifestation of humor. In addition, a bad joke is a kind of joke, but it is very different, and the four main characteristics of a bad joke are that it is based on the Internet, thorough entertainment, the duality of its own value, and the post-emergence >

A joke is a word that makes people laugh. I've got some here.

Super hilarious!!

White Rabbit de Story (Depressed Joke).

The little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred small breads?" ”

Boss: "Ah, I'm sorry, not so much".

That's it... The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery, "Boss, are there a hundred small breads?" ”

Boss: "I'm sorry, but I still don't."

That's it... The little white rabbit went away again dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped up to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred small breads?" ”

The boss happily said, "Yes, yes, today we have a hundred small loaves of bread!" ”

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" ”

There was a farmer who asked a master, how many times did the master do it in a month, the master said 2 times, the farmer said that he admired and admired, worthy of being a master, and the master said once for half a month.