What should I do if the relationship between my daughter in law and my mother has been bad in my dai

Your wife is the person who has lived with you all her life, your mother is the one who gave birth to you, as the old saying goes: whose daughter-in-law is raised by her mother-in-law, since she is not raised by her mother-in-law, you can only play a role in reconciliation in the middle, this is not, you say that your mother usually does things a little deliberately, this is not right, between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is not to let young people have high quality, mother-in-law should play the role of mother-in-law, what is family style, the elders do good character quality, in order to pave the way for the next generation, your tell your mother, be generous in case of trouble, Your mother has changed her opinion of her daughter-in-law, and you'll be fine in the middle! People's hearts for hearts, two for half a catty, haha!

Communicate more with your wife's parents, respect your parents-in-law, let your parents-in-law and your mother communicate often, communicate more, buy some things that your parents-in-law like, in short, do what they like, and then tell your parents-in-law that these things are arranged by your mother for you to buy, etc., so that your parents-in-law will have a good impression of your mother, and indirectly affect your wife through the words and deeds of your parents-in-law.

If your mother and wife complain or attack each other in front of you, you can only listen to them, express your position carefully, and if you have to express your position, say that your mother is wrong in front of your wife, and say that your wife is not sensible in front of your mother. They don't necessarily have to compete with each other, but it just depends on your attitude, and you try to repair the fusion relationship, for example, if you buy a dress for your mother, you tell your mother that it was bought by your daughter-in-law or that your daughter-in-law suggested that you buy it, and you buy something that your wife likes such as cosmetics, saying that your mother paid for it. That's what I did. ‍‍

Don't get together if you don't get along well, home won't be home after a long time, especially if you can't handle the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it may not be good to say this, but this is the ...... factFind something else to do for your mother, don't take care of you, what are you taking care of when you're so old, her attention is on you, there must be an opinion on how your daughter-in-law doesn't take care of her, don't blame your wife for being careful, what she said is the truth ......So if you have separated, don't get together, distance produces beauty. ‍‍

One principle is to observe that both parties have bad habits and are prone to conflicting behaviors, and come forward to communicate privately with their wives or mothers alone, so as to urge them to slowly change some habits and lifestyles that affect the relationship. I think that's very useful.

You should act as an intermediary to help them communicate, and everyone can spread out and talk about anything, so that the relationship will not be bad all the time.

As an intermediary, you have great responsibilities and obligations, you can say good things about your mother in front of your daughter-in-law, say good things about your daughter-in-law in front of your mother, and reconcile your relationship with each other.

There are many skills in life, buy a gift for your mother on Mother's Day, say that it is the daughter-in-law to pick, buy a dress for the daughter-in-law, the money given by the mother, slowly groping, in a must also be good to your father-in-law and mother-in-law, the daughter-in-law looks so good to her mother, there is no reason to pick and choose from her mother-in-law. ‍‍

In my opinion, it's hard to deal with, no way, let's live separately. The family gathers for a meal during the New Year's holidays, usually lives their own small life, when relatives move around, there are fewer contradictions, your wife is happy, and your mother is also worry-free. ‍‍

You have to take care of your daughter-in-law's mind, and you must look towards your daughter-in-law, because if you think about your mother, your daughter-in-law will feel that she is redundant.

I think we can reconcile it. Chat and eat with them.

Treat your wife as your mother's daughter, and treat yourself as your son-in-law, and remember that the center of the relationship between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is always your husband.

A good "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship" involves three people - mother-in-law, daughter-in-law, and son, and managing a harmonious family relationship requires the efforts of three parties. Taking the "mother-in-law relationship" as a reference, the key to the quality of the "mother-in-law relationship" is generally better than the "mother-in-law relationship": the mother-in-law regards the son-in-law as her own son (at least half a son), and the daughter marries less of the sense of loss of her daughter, but feels the intimacy and happiness of having more sons.

This is a distinction from the mother-in-law's mentality. The deeper your wife's love for her husband, the more accepting her mother-in-law will be, and if she has not accepted her mother-in-law, it at least shows that your love for her husband is not mature and deep enough.

2. Mother-in-law's mentality: treat your daughter-in-law as your own daughter, don't have the distinction of "other people's girls", get along with her with the mentality of treating your own children, and all problems will be solved.

3. The mentality of the wife: take care of the mother-in-law as her own mother, and try to understand the character or other shortcomings of the elderly. At the same time, when there is a conflict with your mother-in-law, don't make the "low-level mistake" of "fighting for a husband" with your mother-in-law.

No matter how much your husband loves you, you can't replace her mother's weight. Moreover, you can only be his wife, not his mother, and in that case, your marriage will be in danger.

Fourth, the son's mentality: he is a "diplomat" who mediates the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship". There are many "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships" caused by "stupid sons".

If the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship" has natural sensitive factors, then the role of the son in the relationship and the function of coordination and consultation are more and more precious.

5. "Don't remember the overnight feud": Once there is friction between "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law", it is the key to deal with it immediately, communicate directly, take real feelings as the starting point, and establish an effective conflict handling mechanism. Some "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships" started well, but later friction was hidden in the heart, forming a "cold war" between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the damage to family relations was huge.

In a nutshell, the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship" is not a beast, but a family relationship between two generations, which can be improved by human efforts. No matter what happens, there is no right or wrong, and there is no need to investigate right and wrong, all discordant factors are played by human psychology, and they can also be resolved by wisdom.

When mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarrel, the most embarrassing thing is her husband. If my wife wants to hurt my mother, I have to listen to it, these two "favorite people" quarreled, how could it not make people in a dilemma? In fact, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the role of men is extraordinary.

If you want to maintain a good relationship between your wife and your mother, a man must first do the following 4 things.

1.Living independently

Don't be a mom. A man should take the initiative to take on his share of responsibilities in life. Only when they are mentally and economically independent will men have their own say in family relationships.

In addition, if you take care of your own life, you don't need your mother or wife to do everything for you, and you can avoid some conflicts between your mother and wife in life.

2.Everyone's small family is clearly divided

In ancient China, a daughter-in-law was called an insider. Before marriage, a man and his parents are a family, but after marriage, the core family is a small family with his wife. If you can clearly recognize your own position, you will not have the phenomenon of parents interfering in family issues.

It is true that parents are family members, but compared to one's own small family, both parents are outsiders.

3.Respect and be considerate of the wife

Doing housework is the same as taking care of children, and you only know how hard it is when you have done it yourself. The wife is not specifically responsible for housework or taking care of the children when she marries home. A man must first know how to respect and feel sorry for his wife, so that the mother-in-law will not "make it difficult" for her daughter-in-law in the face of her son.

4.Learn to channel your wife's emotions

When my wife complains, it's mostly just a catharsis of her emotions, all she needs is for you to understand her emotions and comfort her. Even if your wife has done something wrong, you should tell her gently after her emotions have calmed down.

What is a mother-in-law relationship?

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a special and difficult interpersonal relationship. It is neither a marriage relationship nor a blood relationship, but a special relationship based on the above two relationships, so the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law plays its special role in family interpersonal relations. Differences of interest, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law living in the same family, will often have some differences and contradictions in the management of family affairs, domination, and so on.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law originally lived in their own different families, each with their own life background and habits. If you don't adapt well and can't accept each other, you will have a tense relationship and many conflicts. The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and son plays a very important intermediary role.

If the son does not handle it well, it is easy to become the focus of conflict.

How to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

This requires the son's double-sided tape to deal with it flexibly, learn to take responsibility, instead of shirking the responsibility to his mother or wife, and not to stand idly by. It is also a good idea to seek help and mediation from a third party or a professional marriage and family counselor. Maybe they have already taken care of each other's face, and they need to have a step down.

Therefore, the involvement of a third party will make the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law more insipid.

The first thing to deal with is to avoid quarrels and communicate more, and most of the conflicts are due to the lack of effective communication. Then see the essence through superficial behavior, such as the mother-in-law's verbosity may be expressing her concern for you, but the daughter-in-law does not appreciate it. Learn to respect each other's habits, and try to integrate with each other through communication.

Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law need to cultivate common interests and hobbies, and only when they have common interests and hobbies will they have a common language, so it will be easier to get along with each other. Playing the role of his son's double-sided tape means that if our relationship has really broken down, we can try to separate for a while. When necessary, separation, and appropriate time can accelerate the run-in with each other, which is also called distance produces beauty.

1.He will not say reproaches on one side of the other, but only be a peacemaker.

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can also be said to be a rival relationship to a certain extent, because they both love the same man deeply and hope that he will get better and better.

Therefore, it is inevitable that one party will be dissatisfied with the other party, and will say bad things to the son about the daughter-in-law or bad things about the mother-in-law to the husband.

At this time, as a smart man, you have to rot these bad words in your stomach and not let the other party know, and you also need to be a peacemaker, in front of your mother, you have to talk about the advantages of your wife, in front of your daughter-in-law, you have to think about the reason why your mother did this, so that your wife understands your mother.

Strive for them to live in peace.

2.Report good news to each other and leave a good image for each other.

Between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, there will be a generation gap more or less, plus they have not lived together since childhood, and there will be more misunderstandings between the two people.

In front of your wife, you have to say as many good things as possible to your mother, so that your wife can understand her from the bottom of her heart.

Try to report good news and not bad news in front of both parties, avoid unnecessary quarrels, you must know that you must not be angry with either of them at this time, you must be patient more than ever.

01 Avoid living together for long periods of time.

There are many conflicts between mother and daughter, and this is because the mother-in-law lives under one roof. Because the lifestyles of the two generations are different, it is easy to create conflicts. If the lifestyles of the two generations are different, this contradiction will be hidden, and from time to time there will be a contradiction, and as time grows, the contradiction will continue to intensify and expand.

As the saying goes, distance produces beauty. The relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law should follow this rule, opening up the spatial distance and maintaining the independence of the personal life. If both parties often quarrel over different lifestyles, the accumulation of long-term conflicts will naturally lead to more and more conflicts, and may even lead to divorce.

In fact, many daughters-in-law also like to live with their mother-in-law, provided that her mother-in-law loves her as much as a mother. But in traditional marriages and families, this phenomenon is difficult to see.

Due to the backwardness of patriarchal thinking, the mother-in-law took it for granted that she would make things difficult for her daughter-in-law. This traditional belief still exists in many families, so in order to avoid an exacerbation of conflict, it is advisable not to live under the same roof for long periods of time with the mother-in-law. Even if a husband and wife have lived for a long time, they will quarrel, let alone a mother-in-law?

02 Handle the "triangular relationship" between husband and mother-in-law

Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is easy to compete for the "love" of the same man. The man here is the husband of the wife, the son of the mother. When a man marries his wife and children, the mother has an unexplained hostility towards his daughter-in-law.

Because the mother raised this man for decades, was taken away by a woman, and without any effort, this woman became the most important person in her son's heart.

And the mother is naturally uncomfortable. At this time, as a daughter-in-law, you should understand your mother-in-law's feelings. However, some women can't do it, when some small contradictions occur, the mother-in-law and the wife find the husband to judge who is right and who is wrong, for men, this situation is tantamount to letting them walk on a hot volcano, both of you are your own dearest people, how he chooses is wrong.

03 Raise children with your mother-in-law.

Young couples are often separated from each other to take care of their children, and they have to rely on their parents at home to help take care of them. Children's education methods, words and deeds and children's problems are the biggest source of contradictions, because their education methods are very different from modern times, so there may be many contradictions.