Help me revise my English essay and help me write a conclusion

It's not that level to write a conclusion.,But I can still point out a small problem.,The discussion in the last sentence of the first paragraph should be discuss.,And,I also agree with the author.,I hope to be chosen.。

Be entered into the general table passive people are going to school does not seem to be logical, it is recommended to change to active attend

where is the most desirable place(s) (singular and plural...)

for these students who presently entered the university campus, (tense, and the whole sentence doesn't feel right, presently is the next thing that happened but it's still two months away...)

Suggest who will presently enter the university campus (in fact, it is more recommended to replace p with about to, but it is true that about to is more earthy.

what things they should be to prepare?(It feels weird, it's strange to use passive logic first, and the grammar doesn't dare to say, but I promise that no Yankee will use this sentence...)

purchase I feel that it is better to book the ticket.

In a timely manner in the back, I can only say that if it is a foreign exam, don't use it, it is obviously a snake. Domestic Examinations... Use it (you don't look at the logic in China, you will get a high score if you use fancy words) and it is best to put it at the end.

if you get to school on time, then you need to sign up and pay the...There is no logical relationship, and it has to be reported if it is not on time...

It is also a big mistake to take the exam in China, and it is a big mistake to be in foreign countries. And if I don't seem to be mistaken, I will deposit money on the card before going to school.,That is, the money has been paid when you register.。。。

The bedroom was changed to a dormitory

it would be（will be）

carried out？What do you want to say?

There is also the reason why the train and plane section seems to be boring (look at this topic is a Chinese question, boring is boring.) However, there are some good reasons to prepare for college, such as familiarizing yourself with the surroundings of the school in advance, such as preparing for college courses before studying, and so on.

The overall feeling is that the article is more Chinese-English, for example, buying a train ticket can be changed to a sentence.

you need to purchase tickets in advance ， since the train ticket supplies are tight 。

Because the ticket ** is tight, you have to buy the ticket in advance).

And then it's a bit wordy (of course, it doesn't rule out the possibility of making up words).

In general, grammar is used a lot, which is worth encouraging, and the accuracy still needs to be improved.

ps I've been reading the gre lately, so I'm used to finding mistakes in the logic of the article, forgive me.