Why am I always out of place? I have social phobia, please ask for advice

I'm what you call the crazy guy...I don't really know what Sven people like you think...Sorry, I can't help you...

Yes, I think everyone should love themselves and make themselves happy. And is the fight in everyone's social interaction to please others? Of course not, he just thought that he would be happy and relaxed that way.

You have to work hard in your career, and you have to have fun in life and live a more interesting life.

If you don't fit in, you lose a lot of opportunities to be happy and relaxed, and you often feel isolated and miserable.

Integrating with others is difficult to say, easy to say. Sincerely interact with others, don't be low-voiced, don't pretend to be high-minded, know that if others hate you, it is not your fear, but your indifference to rejecting people thousands of miles away. Everyone wants to be noticed and liked.

Jack Ma once said that Clinton's personality is charismatic: he will make anyone he receives feel that he is the person he cares about and respects the most at the moment.

I believe that if you can treat others with humility and love like that, a warm life is no longer far away.

It's not a social barrier, some people may not like group activities very much, or they don't like to play with too many people, it is a person's will, and it cannot be said to be an obstacle.

A person who does not fit in does not mean that she just can't get along with others, and when she interacts with people, she will not involuntarily feel nervous, afraid, at a loss, incoherent, and even afraid to meet people. It is true that people with social difficulties are not socially asociable, but it does not mean that they are socially disadvantaged.

Sometimes I don't like to talk to people or hang out with a lot of people, but I don't have a social barrier and I'm quite comfortable with people, so I can't generalize.

The inner monologue of some misfit people may be inferior, or they may be conceited, which is a person's self-thought, not that there is an obstacle. A lot of people who seem to be cold are not social, do they have social barriers? Not really.

In fact, it is quite tiring to try to be a gregarious person, but I still hope that everyone will be happy to be themselves.

Not necessarily.

The first kind of words is that this person is really cold, he is not unsociable to some people, he has an attitude towards everyone. In this case, don't think about it.

A senior in my university club, I really thought he was particularly difficult to get along with at first (please imagine for yourself, there are a few words written on his face), sometimes everyone goes out to build a team or something, this senior never participates, but after a year of contact, I found that the senior is this kind of character, and he does an excellent job, so we are used to it later.

The second case, that is really "disdain for mortals such as you", how to say, this kind of person has also encountered, that is, it is always a high-minded attitude, too lazy to talk to others. I always feel that there is an insurmountable gap between the people around me and myself in all aspects.

Some of these people are particularly capable of being outstanding, no matter what aspect they are, so this kind of person has a sense of superiority and will not associate with people who feel inferior to him, but this kind of genius is a bit unsociable in the eyes of us mortals.

There is also a sense of superiority and self-confidence that is fascinated, and for this kind of person, just hehe.

It doesn't have to be a social disability. There are two kinds of misfits, one is too autistic, and the other is disdain to contact the group around you.

Always being alone, when communicating with others, is very afraid, this situation will be a social barrier. We may have grown up in an environment where we were raised, or there are some factors that have contributed to this situation. At this time, we need to work hard to change this situation.

Because person-to-person communication is necessary. If a person does not have basic social skills with strangers, then the development of that person is very limited.

Of course, there is another kind of person, and I am in that situation right now. I'm not satisfied with my situation right now, so I don't want to communicate more with the people around me at the moment. In fact, there is no obstacle to communication, but I just don't bother to talk to them.

Eager to go to a higher level of circle of friends. But this kind of person will also have a conceited situation. It's that when you go to **, you are disgusted with the people around you.

It is a person who is too arrogant and arrogant, and it is very unpleasant in work and life. You should be aware of your own situation and absorb the advice of those around you. Be able to look at yourself objectively, and be able to accurately understand what you want to get, as well as the gap in your ability.

In fact, he is not social, he is not a social barrier, he is just a personal character, social also needs to be determined by occasion, not all cheerful personalities have advantages for the family, do business or need some honest and sincere attitude, depending on the other party.

For the age of students is still very simple, do not need to have too much scheming, sincerity, in school is to teach classmates between a kind of naïve and romantic, like childhood partners, then grow up to find a job social is a kind of respect for the boss elders, and do things measured and active, that is also a kind of coquettish performance, if you do business, that needs to be sincere and trust each other, that is also a kind of social, must have something, and between relatives and friends, well, a natural blood relationship.

Social disorders are a disease, but social misplacement is not necessarily a disease. Because your actions may hurt the other person.

Social disorder is a diseaseBut when facing a person with social difficulties, it is better for us not to treat him as a patient, because we should give him more tolerance and warmth. Everyone in this world has their own pain and helplessness, and they have physical and psychological problems that they can't overcome. In this impetuous society, whether we know or don't know people, we should give each other more warmth.

But it's not the same if you don't fit in, there is an old Chinese saying called "high and low".。It's not that others have a problem, it's that people don't want to deal with you because they don't have a common language with you. In this era of geniuses and wise men, everyone has their own ideas and opinions, and people are more in pursuit of closeness to the soul and the pursuit of confidants.

Even love also pays attention to free love, soul fit, and disharmony is discordant. What's more, if you don't have a common language, who will care about you. Just like Boya and Zhong Ziqi, they can be confidants because they have a soul fit and can understand what is in each other's hearts.

If it was someone else, how could Zhong Ziqi throw the piano for him to Mingzhi.

Even in ancient times, it was also emphasized that "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water".。Even good friends pay attention to being as light as water, let alone others. Being unsociable is not a mental illness, it's just an attitude towards life.

Just like some people like to make friends, cheerful and lively, while some people like to do what they love by themselves. In fact, there is no difference between the two, just a difference in attitude towards life.

Therefore, don't say that being unsociable is a social barrier, a word may hurt others, we should understand other people's attitude towards life.

Being unsociable is not necessarily a social barrier, and some people, those with whom he is along, do not have a common language. The reason why he is not a social person may be because he came to the wrong place and chose the wrong group, and he cannot find anyone in this group who can be like-minded with him. In this case, he will choose not to communicate with colleagues, friends, family, etc., but it does not mean that he has a social disability, maybe when he meets a group of like-minded people with similar interests, he will be able to speak freely.

I have a former colleague who works in our company and I have a department, he can't talk to all the people in the department, and he uses this mobile phone to read books in the mobile phone every day, but when he is with those leaders or intellectuals, he can always talk freely, and what he says is very reasonable. He always felt that there was nothing to talk about with our colleagues, and he felt that these people were not at that level, and there was a problem with communication skills, so he chose to remain silent and not be the same as these people.

Whether it is values, worldview or outlook on life, it is different, so there is no common topic, no matter how you talk, you can't talk together, so you simply don't talk, so it seems that he is extremely unsociable, all people will not talk to him, and he is far away, but he has no social barriers, he spent more than 10 points of work, met a large group of people, and then the pass rate during the interview is very high, which proves that he has no problem in the area of eloquence, and there is no problem with social skills.

Therefore, being unsociable is definitely not that kind of social disorder, it can only be said that he is not willing to show himself in this group, because he feels that there is no need for that, he has to focus on doing what he likes to do, and he will not waste time on those who have nothing to do with him.

I believe that people who really have social difficulties are not only unsociable, but also have defects in both expression ability and eloquence. People with social disabilities are necessarily unsociable, but people who don't fit in don't necessarily have social disabilities.

First of all, humans are higher social animals, social animals with their own ideas and ideas!

In this group, many people are more withdrawn, like to do what they like, often do what they like, contrary to most people's ideas! It is difficult for them to integrate into this so-called circle, and they are considered by everyone to be outliers, or to be unsociable!

In fact, such people have communication barriers, which may be very simple things that can be solved through friends, or problems often do not get help or support from others, so that people's personalities will be more lonely and more difficult to integrate into this circle. After a long time, people will slowly lose themselves, and they will be eliminated by this era!

How to overcome this problem, we must first recognize ourselves, after all, people are social animals, and they can only get what they want through communication! In this way, you will slowly overcome it, so that you can integrate into this society!

Socialization is indispensable in people's daily life, and it is impossible for people to live alone in isolation, and they always have to deal with different people. However, some introverts tend to have a fear of social interaction, which is mainly manifested in reluctance to communicate with others, introverted low self-esteem, and high emotional tension. So, how can social phobia be alleviated?

In general, there are the following ways to alleviate social phobia:

1. Divert attention. Don't focus too much on yourself, be brave enough to face your shortcomings and shortcomings, and don't linger on the mistakes you made in the past. After all, no one is perfect, and everyone will have certain shortcomings and failures.

At the same time, don't put too much pressure on yourself, don't imply that you must do something well, and you must not fail in doing something, because this will hit your self-confidence.

2. Set small goals. Socializing can start with the people around you, such as learning how to communicate with relatives, friends or colleagues. Try to prolong the communication time and let yourself experience the joy and achievement of communication in the exchange.

3. Go to a crowded place. One of the great characteristics of social phobia is that it is afraid of staying in a crowded place, and it has a fear of people. Therefore, in order to overcome social phobia, people should learn to smile, go out into the crowd and try to give themselves the opportunity to speak and behave, and overcome the fear of communicating with others.

Be confident in yourself, be patient and tolerant of others, and learn to fit in with the group.

4. Don't be demanding perfection. No one is born perfect, whether it is oneself or others, we must look at it with an objective attitude. When you have a friend you want to make, you should have the courage to express the idea that you want to communicate with him, and don't be timid and inferior, feeling that you are not perfect enough to be someone else's friend.

5. Attend more parties. A party is a group event that allows you to get to know more people and also strengthen communication between people. As long as you dare to go to the party, in fact, this is a huge breakthrough in social phobia.

In short, socialization can be said to be a survival skill in life, and people who know how to socialize tend to live a happier and easier life. People who don't know how to socialize often feel lonely, which can lead to misanthropy and other bad feelings. Therefore, for people with social phobia, it is necessary to master the above few mitigation methods.

Causes and ways to alleviate social phobia.

Everyone has the right to choose a different way of living or socializing. There is no absolute right or wrong in this world, right and wrong are just the "norms" agreed upon by a certain social group. Human beings are social animals and need to be helped mentally or materially in all kinds of relationships.

Especially at a time when the social division of labor is becoming more and more refined, no one can do without the help of others, and we ourselves will inevitably become an integral part of this social system. Your questioning and "differentness" make me feel that you are a very individual and rebellious person, and if you feel that your interpersonal model is bothering you and making you unbearable, I think that continuing to maintain such a personality will have some impact on your body and mind. Everyone has the right to choose their own way of life, but only if you have a strong heart, it is extremely important to know what you really need.