What are some fun stories about farting?

The first time I went home with my boyfriend, I couldn't help but let out a fart at the dinner table, and the atmosphere suddenly quieted down, and I could only hear the sound of dishes and chopsticks, so embarrassing.

It was very quiet when we were resting in the dormitory with our roommates, and suddenly there was a loud noise, and we thought the room had collapsed, but we didn't expect another roommate to suddenly wake up and say that he had been woken up by his own fart.

There was a classmate who was quiet in self-study. He made us all laugh when he made a fart sound.

One day, there were a lot of guests in the house, and I hid in the room to try to be quiet, but I heard a person enter the next room, and then let out a loud fart, and closed the door and went out.

In front of everyone, the fart suddenly invaded, and tried his best to endure it, trying to let the fart be released quietly, but it turned into several loud broken farts.

During a meeting, the entire conference room was silent, and a handsome guy next to him let out a loud fart.

When the roommate sleeps, he snores and farts, and he has a sense of rhythm and keeps letting go.

There was a male classmate in our class who, regardless of the occasion, often farted during class and made a loud noise.

There was a boy in our class who always liked to fart, and we watched him at the same time whenever there was a fart sound.

There's nothing fun about it. After all, it's something that everyone can't avoid.

I remember reading a story before, about a Xiucai often carried a back basket, every time the show was about to fart when the back basket was untied, once when crossing the river, the show suddenly wanted to fart, but it was too late to untie the back basket, so he kept looking in the river, at this time there was a member with an entourage to see Xiucai looking for something, so he helped him look for it, but after looking for a long time and found nothing, and then he scolded, saying that he found a fart, Xiucai was happy when he heard it, and said loudly, I put the fart.

There was once two people who went swimming in the pool, and suddenly a bubble appeared in the water, and then for some reason, the other person shouted, "Did you fart?" And then the others laughed and said, "Like."

In "The Legend of Miyue", when Mi Shu was imprisoned, Mi Yue went to see her, and Mi Yue asked her Sister, do you fart? Mi Shu felt very confused, so Mi Yue demonstrated it to her, Mi Shu's memory slowly remembered, and the fun and innocence of her past childhood were finally awakened.

Many people have heard the joke before, which is, "There was a ghost who farted and died." "Every time I listen to this, I think it's funny, and then many friends around me will tease me with this joke when they comfort me, and this is also a little story.

Once watched a TV series, in which the supporting actress said to the heroine: "A fart is the breath of the human body, which is transmitted in the body, and those who hear it are depressed, and those who let it go are proud." In retrospect, I still think it's funny.

I've read a president's article, and if you don't read it carefully, you might have ignored it. The book describes the president taking the poor female protagonist to see her mother, and the details describe the male protagonist's mother who put a bitter fart. It's embarrassing, so I want to ask if there's a lot of scheming???

1 Bad ears There was a woman who came to the hospital for a check-up because she couldn't control her farts. After waiting in the waiting room for 20 minutes, it was finally her turn. "Doctor, give me a good look, I can't control my farts.

Fart? "Yes, I often go in and out of social places, no, I met with Mr. Mayor the day before yesterday, but I couldn't help but let out five farts when I met with him, and of course I didn't make a sound. Also, I had four sullen farts at dinner with the ambassador last night, and even six silent farts in the waiting room just now!

What do you think? Well, you go to the ear doctor first. 2 I didn't hear clearly A young man and woman were on a date in the park, and the girl especially wanted to fart, and she thought of a way:

F: Have you ever heard a cuckoo call? M:

Haven't heard of it. F: I'll teach you, cloth (fart sound) valley (sound from the mouth).

F: Did you hear me? M:

The fart was too loud to hear. 3 Cover your ears and steal the bell A young lady and an old lady are sitting together on the train. The young lady wanted to fart, but she couldn't hold it back, so she pretended to wipe the car window with her hand, and let out a few farts in a row with the sound of friction.

However, the old lady sitting next to her said to her, "It's okay to have a voice, but what about the taste?" 4 A woman on the bus wanted to fart, and when she didn't know what to do, Beethoven's "Symphony of Fate" suddenly sounded in the car, and she followed **:

Boom boom boom. Naturally solved. Laughing in my heart while observing the reactions of the other passengers, huh?

They all covered their noses and stared at her. It turned out that the "Symphony of Destiny" did not come from the radio in the car, but from the Walkman she brought 5 jet fuel There are two maintenance workers at the Beijing military airport who love to drink. One day, when the two were on night duty, they were addicted to alcohol, but they didn't bring alcohol with them, and there was no store nearby.

I've heard that jet fuel is the same as liquor, so let's drink some. One person suggested. So, the two men took the fuel out of the jet fuel tank and got drunk.

The next day, one of them woke up to the astonishment of not having a headache or nausea, unlike his usual drinking. At this time, the **bell rang, and he picked it up**. "Hey!

You're alright! It was another maintenance worker's voice. "It's okay, don't say it, jet fuel is really good, I don't have a headache and I don't feel nauseous.

Me too, but ......"But what? Have you ever farted since you got up? Nope.

Then be careful, I'm on Hainan Island now. 6 The director and the section chief shared the elevator, and the director said to the section chief after a fart: You fart!

The section chief said: I didn't put it....Soon the section chief was dismissed, and the director said at the meeting: You can't afford to take on big things, what use do you want?

There is a talent who has read a lot of books, and it would be great if he could use all this knowledge on the right path! But he is a Diao Xiucai, relying on his own knowledge of some allusions, and he is sharp and eloquent, so he specializes in managing right and wrong, helping people fight lawsuits, and collecting a lot of money. Therefore, many people in the township have suffered his losses and suffered from him.

This Xiucai has done a lot of things to help people sophistry and lawsuits, and the villagers are full of complaints, and the county officials who imitate limbs are also very disgusted with him. Finally, one time, the county magistrate couldn't bear it anymore and decided to find a way to give this Diao Xiucai a little color, to see if he dared to harm people again in the future. The county magistrate thought about it and had an idea in his heart.

The county magistrate sent a few officials to call Xiucai. Xiucai swaggered up to the lobby, he thought to himself, with his three-inch incorruptible tongue, what else could he not cope? But the county magistrate did not argue with him, but said with a straight face:

As a scholar, it is your duty to read poetry and books behind closed doors, but you always go in and out of the yamen and do some things that make trouble and deceive people, so it seems that you have not written articles for so long, you must have become rusty, and today the official will come up with a question to test you to see how well your articles are doing. After speaking, no matter how Xiucai reacted, the county official pondered for a moment and said that the title of the clan rock was written by Xiucai. This time, Xiucai was dumbfounded, he has been busy helping people fight lawsuits to make money, and he has time to review the article.

But if you don't write it, you're afraid that the county official will punish you, alas, it's bad, it's bad! A long time has passed, Xiucai still touched the white roll with both hands, and the two trillion big royal eyes looked at the blue sky, so anxious that his forehead was sweating, and he couldn't think of a word. The county magistrate smiled in his heart

It's stumped for you this time, look at you still smug!

In a hurry, Xiucai shouted loudly: "Grandmaster Tai's topic is too difficult, it's really hard to write, please come up with another topic, if you can't make an article, Grandmaster Tai can punish me as much as he wants!" The county magistrate thought about it for a moment and agreed.

When he was thinking about what to do again, he suddenly let out a fart, and he couldn't help but have an idea, and said to Xiucai: "You can make an article on the topic of fart." Xiucai agreed with trepidation.

After a while, Xiucai had words. He came alive again, and saw him chanting in a pinched tone: "Grandmaster Fu Weitai is towering with golden buttocks, Hong Xuanbao is farting, vaguely like the sound of silk and bamboo, as if it is the breath of musk, and the people stand at the downwind, and it is very fragrant."

When the county magistrate heard this, he couldn't stop laughing: This Diao Xiucai can't do business, but he has a good way of patting his ass. So he spoke:

This showman, a serious good article can't be done, and a fart bad article is done so well. In Yamen East Street in this county, there is a dung pit of 10,000 people, and he likes to smell the fragrant smell, and he asks the officials to stand by the dung pit and reward him for smelling more, so that he will not go to fight a lawsuit for others. ”

This self-proclaimed clever Diao Xiucai finally moved bricks and smashed himself in the foot. We need to learn a lesson from this incident: do our part well, and if we rely on it to learn to harm others everywhere, we will reap the consequences.

It is said that the chairman of the "emergency management company" and a manager surnamed X under his command and two section chiefs and a lively and lovely little girl took the elevator together, it is also a coincidence, the two section chiefs have the same name and surname as the two bloggers of the science network, one is the section chief of the "emergency management section" Chen An, and the other is the section chief of the "philosophy department" Jiang Jinsong, the little girl's name is Chen Lively, which is the pearl of the Chen section chief. The one asked, how can an "emergency management company" have a "philosophy department"? Now is the era of high integration of knowledge and high sharing of resources, what is it that a large company has a few irrelevant departments?

Without further ado, the elevator was slowly descending, and suddenly there was a soft muffled sound, and a smell spread in the elevatorEveryone, you look at me, I look at you, no one is open, Chen Lively pointed to the chairman and said:

It must be you, it's you who made the noise", the chairman looked embarrassed, looked at the manager, the manager pointed at Chen An and said, "It's you, right"? Chen An's face turned red, he looked very aggrieved, and argued loudly:

I swear, it's definitely not me", Chen Lively also defended his father: "It's definitely not Dad, the voice didn't come from him". was at a stalemate, only to hear Section Chief Jiang open his anxious mouth and say slowly

No, I'm sorry, yes, yes...It's me," said the chairman with an approving smile.

One day, joy fell from the sky, the company held a meeting of department managers to select a deputy manager from the section chief, at the meeting the chairman first issued instructions: "The selection of deputy managers must adhere to the principle, to those who are brave in the face of difficulties, and dare to take responsibility in the face of mistakes. After the chairman's principled words were finished, the managers began to nominate them, and someone proposed:

Chen An, the head of the Emergency Management Section, is good, he has strong ability, high quality, and good business, and can take on heavy responsibilities." The X manager who took the elevator said: "I don't see it that way, strong ability, high quality, good business is only one aspect, the important thing is to dare to take responsibility as a deputy manager, Chen An is lacking in this aspect, I think Jiang Jinsong is good, although he is engaged in philosophy, in addition to nonsense or nonsense, but people dare to take responsibility at a critical time, such a person is not promoted or promoted"?

Jiang Jinsong was promoted to the position of deputy manager!