Ask for two jokes to revisit...

(Joke 1) got up early in the morning to go to work, and found that there was a three-dollar steel hammer in the pocket of his clothes, so he handed it to his husband, and his husband pretended to be squinting and said, "Sleeping with me last night?" When I saw him hippie, I nodded in response and rode out.

My husband shouted at my back, "Wife, I look like this, why do I have to give 5 yuan?" ”

Joke 2) Even though the weather is getting colder, there are still mosquitoes in the house. Erya was bitten by a mosquito last night, and asked me in the morning, Mom, do you know why mosquitoes don't bite you? I wondered, why? Erya told me in a very firm tone: "Because you are ugly!" ”

Joke 3) One day, I passed by a seafood restaurant after work and couldn't help but want to go in to satisfy my hunger, so I sent a text message to my husband to "ask for instructions". My husband said that I would like to invite you to a seafood dinner when I go home, two famous dishes, one is a refreshing cold dish, and the other is a nutritious dish that supplements calcium. I was ecstatic all the way, riding a "two-wheeled vehicle" back to Eryang Village, going straight to the kitchen, and seeing that there were indeed two "seafood meals":

A refreshing dish - cold kelp, a nutritious dish with calcium - scrambled eggs with shrimp skin ......

Joke 4) Er Ya drew a picture and asked me and the eldest girl who wanted it, and we pretended to be polite, and the eldest girl said to her mother! I'll tell my sister! Er Ya immediately said, then I will pick it immediately, and then began to point at me and the eldest girl with his hand, "Pick, pick the puppy, whoever you pick is who".

Before school, the teacher called the student into the office, took out a painkiller and said, "You take it." The student was puzzled and said, "I don't have any pain in my body!" "It hurts after a while, and I've already told my dad that you failed." ”

In math class, the math teacher is talking about the test papers. "Take a closer look at this question," and then everyone began to read it carefully, frowning and meditating, and after a few minutes, the teacher said, "This is a mistake, let's cross it out!" ”

1) During the Cultural Revolution, a husband and wife divorced and ran to the commune secretary's office. The secretary said, "Recite the quotations", male:

Make up your mind and resolutely divorce", the woman said: "Eliminate all difficulties, in a few years", the secretary listened and said: "Grasp the revolution and promote production, I don't care about your affairs".

2) In the past, there was an old rich man who celebrated his birthday, and his three sons-in-law went to celebrate his birthday, the eldest son-in-law was a civil official, the second son-in-law was a military general, and the third son-in-law was a farmer. At the banquet, the old rich man looked down on the three sons-in-law and wanted to laugh at the marriage of the three daughters, he said, at today's banquet, you can drink wine and eat food if you drink poems and answer correctly, and show your identity.

Second son-in-law: The sand factory war horse urges, drink a drink first".

The third son-in-law thought for a while and said: "Hoeing the ground, and pulling the wine and food", after speaking, they even ate the wine and vegetables, and they stared at each other and said nothing.

The school's boys' and girls' toilets are connected. A girl forgot to bring toilet paper when she went to the toilet, and when she was embarrassed, toilet paper came from the men's bathroom next door, and the girl lost her face and asked loudly, "Who?" ”。The boy next door replied in a low and powerful voice: "Lei Feng." ”