My roommate doesn t always think of myself as an outsider, so how can I communicate with her?

Updated on society 2024-04-23
10 answers
  1. Anonymous users2024-02-08

    This kind of problem is very common and occurs in college dormitories. I think you can take some time to talk to her. Because since it is a shared house, two people will live together for a long time, and only if the living habits of the two parties are not so different can they get along better.

    In fact, many problems can be solved through communication, the other party may not realize that some of her habits will make you feel uncomfortable, just live together everyone is not clear about each other's living habits, it is inevitable that there will be places that cannot be taken care of, if both parties choose to forbear but do not put forward the problem to solve it well, then I believe that the quality of life of two people will not be very high. <>

    Everyone is busy with work during the day and only meets when they get home from work at night, if they can't relax well because of these psychological pressures during the relaxation time, the result of this will definitely be a big quarrel in the long run, rather than this, it is better to talk to the other party at the beginning about their living habits, I believe that the other party will take into account your habits, since it is a shared house, the other party must be ready to adapt to the living habits of roommates. If the other party does not change after the communication, if you feel that you can't stand it, you can terminate the shared relationship, after all, the most important thing is to make yourself happy.

  2. Anonymous users2024-02-07

    Your roommate who shares a house always doesn't think of himself as an outsider and uses your stuff at will, which means that he must be a very casual and easy person to get along with. Because only that kind of character is open. People who don't care about the details dare to use other people's things at will, and can be justified, because in his heart, he thinks that there is just like his own relatives, there is no need to have too many constraints, there is no need for too many estrangements, everything can be used together, what happiness is shared together, this may be your roommate's point of view, so when you encounter such a thing as your roommate using your things at will, you don't have to be too annoyed, you can stand in his perspective and think about why he does it?

    Is it out of some malicious behavior or is it just because she thinks you are someone close to her. <>

    If you can adapt to the behavior of your roommate, of course, it is best to adapt, because after all, two people still need a lot of intimacy to share a house, only with a great sense of intimacy, two people will get along more happily, and using things for each other is not a very serious thing, which just shows that the relationship between two people is very good and harmonious. It's like why you can share things with your family at home, because your family is your closest people, and you don't think it's a very embarrassing thing to share things. No matter what happens at home, a family is a family, and there don't have to be too many constraints and any obvious boundaries, maybe that's what your roommate thinks.

    Of course, if you really can't stand it, you can't force it. You can tell her tactfully by leaving a note or leaving a message on your phone, saying that you don't want to share anything with others because of your personal habits, so you hope that roommate can be considerate. You can talk to him in such a consultative tone, and I'm sure he'll understand you.

  3. Anonymous users2024-02-06

    I've been in my college dorm room, but I'm the one you say I am.

    To be honest, I didn't live in a dormitory before I went to university, so I didn't know a lot about the matters and etiquette in the dormitory, and I seemed to be a casual person, so I didn't care so much about these details.

    Because for me, I don't feel anything about using things, I think my things are here, everyone can use them as they like, my food is here, everyone can eat as they like, in fact, I don't care about those rules and etiquette at all, but I ignore the people around me, in fact, there are many people who care about these things.

    And in fact, in my heart, I think I don't understand those who can't use other people's things casually, I really thought so at the beginning, I think a lot of people live together, which is equivalent to relatives in other places in other places.

    Why do you need to pay attention to so many rules and etiquette? Maybe it's because I used to playing with boys when I was in high school, so I don't care so much about those details.

    But in fact, I later understood that in fact, this is also a matter of etiquette, that is, because I have been used to it casually since I was a child, and then no one corrects you for these mistakes. That's why in the end, I will develop the idea of using other people's things casually, and I don't feel how awkward or uncomfortable I feel.

    I think this one of yours may have the same idea and personality as me. It's because I feel that I don't care about others using my own things, so I will use other people's things casually, which is actually a very bad behavior.

    Because everyone has their own standards, if I meet someone who is willing to let me use her things casually, I think I can be completely free to be myself, but if the other person is a person who can't stand these behaviors, I think I can slowly correct it.

    I think you can talk to your roommate about this slowly, and you have to tell him that you don't mind these things, because some people really just mind, just like the habits they have developed.

  4. Anonymous users2024-02-05

    This situation is inevitable among people who share a house. Since you really can't stand her doing this, then I think the best way is to clearly express your own wishes to her, don't mean patience, you must know that any patience has a certain limit, if you really can't stand it then after the outbreak, it will be a quarrel or a big fight for you, after all, you still have to get along with each other day and night, look up and don't look down, if it really comes to this point, then it will definitely be embarrassing to meet in the future. In order to avoid this embarrassment, the best way is for you to go to her and explain to her clearly that you don't like others to use your things, and hope that you will be able to pay attention to your behavior in the future and not cause unnecessary trouble.

    Learn to say no to some of her behaviors, because the two of you are not relatives or good friends after all, and are only in a shared relationship at the moment. If there is not such an intimate relationship, then everything should have a bottom line to get along. If you feel that she is going above your boundaries, you should make it clear to him that you can't stand her doing this.

    If you communicate well with her and express your wishes clearly. But she still doesn't care about it and still goes her own way, so I think it's necessary for you to take a tougher attitude. You can choose to draw a clear line with her so that this doesn't happen, or just find a new friend to share the house.

    Some people's habits are really hard to break. Maybe she didn't mean to, but she just got used to it. But if you can't stand it, there's no way she can change the habit, which is also a more upsetting problem, and in order to solve the problem directly, you can tell her that if you continue like this, you want to move out and find a new roommate.

  5. Anonymous users2024-02-04

    I think when you encounter such a thing, you can go directly to her and say that she doesn't care about other people's feelings, and has seriously hindered other people's feelings, then you can talk to her directly, she is holding your belongings and using them casually, not treating herself as an outsider, but in fact, she is an outsider, although it is a shared house, the two still have a certain distance, and she doesn't care about this relationship, it will only make others think that she is a little selfish.

    You work in Beijing, share a house with others, since you have roommates in the same house, then it is also your fate, you can really help each other in general things, both of you are outsiders, there must be a lot of topics to talk about when you meet people with the same disease, so when the two can help each other, don't be stingy with your hands.

    But it is okay to help, after all, two people are also people in different places, and their living habits are also different. As a roommate, she can borrow your things, but she can't take everything without any scruples, and this habit can't help her form without your consent, so you have to tell her categorically: "It's okay to borrow things, but you have to get my permission first."

    Sometimes, people can't be too self-cooked, because there are many people who belong to the slow heating type and are not very accustomed to other people's self-cooking, so she doesn't treat herself as an outsider, she is too self-cooked, you just talk to her directly, saying that you don't like this lifestyle, you need your own space, since it is a rented house together, when she needs help, you can help her, but because of the slow heat, you may not be able to adapt to her habits. I guess she'll get it.

    Don't say it's too detached, she may be because she is away from home and meets a roommate who shares a house is more kind, so she will not treat herself as an outsider, and it will take time for you to run in, she has to slowly adapt to you, and you have to slowly adapt to her.

  6. Anonymous users2024-02-03

    I don't share a room anymore. Lived alone.

  7. Anonymous users2024-02-02

    If you're looking for a roommate, here are some steps that might help:

    1.Determine your needs and requirements: Before looking for a roommate, you'll need to consider your own needs and requirements, such as rent, room size, whether you need a shared bathroom or kitchen, etc.

    3.Screening potential roommates: When you find one, you'll need to screen out those potential roommates who match your needs and requirements. This may include considering factors such as their occupation, interests, lifestyle, and more.

    4.Reach out to potential roommates: Once you've shortlisted potential roommates, you can reach out to them via email, email, or social and start discussing the details.

    5.Determine the details: After reaching out to potential roommates, you'll need to determine some details such as rent, length of rent, room size, what facilities are shared, etc.

    6.Sign a contract: Once you've found a suitable roommate, you'll need to sign a contract to ensure that both parties' rights are protected. Before signing the contract, you need to make sure that you have understood all the terms and details.

  8. Anonymous users2024-02-01

    As for the problem of roommates bringing their partners back, I think we should consider the following perspectives:

    1.Respect your roommate's private life: Roommates have the right to decide their own private life, including whether or not they want to take their partner home. We should respect roommates' autonomy and privacy.

    2.Consider the feelings of other roommates: If a roommate often brings a partner home, it may interfere with the normal life of other roommates, such as being noisy, taking up common spaces, etc. Therefore, we should respect the feelings of other roommates and try to avoid affecting their lives.

    3.Negotiate a solution: If the problem of the roommate bringing the partner home does affect the lives of other roommates, we should communicate with the roommate in time to negotiate a solution.

    Some rules can be discussed, such as the time to bring the partner home, whether they can be intimate in public areas, etc.

    4.Consider the rental contract: If there is a clause in the rental contract that Fuqing is allowed to take the partner home, then the roommate's behavior is in violation of the contract, and the other roommates can report the situation to the landlord or agent and ask the roommate to abide by the contract.

    We need to respect each other's rights and feelings, communicate and negotiate in a timely manner, and jointly maintain the harmony and stability of the shared housing environment.

  9. Anonymous users2024-01-31

    Whether or not roommates should interfere with their private lives is a common but controversial issue. Here's my take on the issue.

    First of all, roommates' private lives involve their own choices, so respect their privacy and independence when necessary. If there are too many distractions, it can hurt each other's relationships.

    Second, if a roommate's behavior has a direct impact on the public environment, health or safety, we should take appropriate action instead of standing idly by. For example, if a roommate smokes or drinks in a common area, or behaves unusually, we should communicate with them in a timely manner and take steps to avoid potential hazards depending on the situation.

    In addition, we can promote a healthy and active lifestyle, but at the same time avoid imposing coercive behaviors. If we're feeling relieved, we can choose to leave the room and go somewhere else, or we can seek help from someone else to share your feelings, which can help resolve our emotions and avoid complicating the problem.

    In conclusion, I would like to learn to find a balance and respect everyone's right to privacy and rights, while also being mindful of public environmental, health and safety issues. Talking to your roommates and learning about their independent lives can go a long way in developing good roommate relationships and promoting healthy relationships.

  10. Anonymous users2024-01-30

    My lovely roommate, seeing you put away your things in this house little by little, tears rolled in my eyes at that time, we have been sharing a house together for almost two years, there are conflicts and unhappy times, and there are also very happy times, they are the objects of each other's confiding, and they are also the objects of my dependence.

    When you are leaving, I went to the institution to go to class, and I came back at noon to chat with you, in fact, I don't want to come back, I am afraid that I will not be able to help shed tears when I see you, but I still say that I will come back to see you, maybe it will take a long time to see you in the future, and I deliberately do not talk to you when you are leaving, and I boast of a face because I can't accept that you leave me behind, so I want to say sorry to you, it is estimated that your father's car will never appear in the dam in front of this small rental house again, I can no longer eat the crispy pork made by your mother, the fried spicy seeds with the huge fragrance of mixed noodles...

    When you left, I came back from work crying into the empty house, feeling that life was moving forward and I was left where I was, where we had spent more than a few years, and it was full of memories of both of us. We moved twice in the year, the first time from the dorm to the outside of the school, and the second time when the landlord aunt was about to sell the house.

    I have seen your strength and vulnerability, I have also seen your happiness and sadness, I have seen your love frustration, and I have seen the sweetness of your love, all of which are imprinted in my memory.

    May our friendship last forever and each shine in our own fields.

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