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I believe that the root cause of all conflicts between a parent and a child is a lack of communication, which ultimately makes each other unable to understand each other's minds.
When a child is in a rebellious period, it is actually a need for independence, whether it is during the rebellious period when the child is very young or during the rebellious period during adolescence.
In fact, during the rebellious period when the child was still relatively young, many of the child's behaviors were controllable, and we were relatively casual, as long as we didn't do anything to make them leave memories for life, this period would pass very quickly, so fast that even the child himself didn't remember this time.
But in this rebellious period of adolescence, we must prepare for it. First of all, communication with children is a must, and at this time, we should not force them to do things they don't like, because it will definitely backfire. What I advocate is to give children enough freedom after not having any bad influences, and they won't listen to what they say anyway, so it's better to let them develop on their own.
Of course, through communication, their ideas can be understood, and the two sides can reach a consensus, which is also conducive to avoiding conflicts.
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It is normal for a child to be a little rebellious, they do not understand the world, they think they know most of the knowledge of the world when they first understand something, they do not know that the sky is high and the earth is thick, and the newborn calf does not know fear.
This is what they must experience when they first come into contact with this world, and this so-called rebellious period is a process that they must go through in their lives, so they don't have to pay too much attention to it. If you elevate this kind of thing to a level that you pay special attention to, then it may make your child feel pressure invisibly, and this pressure will make him resist you, resist your education, and thus deny your role as a parent for a period of time.
Therefore, it is nothing to indulge the child a little, keep a bottom line, and make him rebellious a little. Let's think about it from another angle, why are other people's children rebellious, and you have to ask for ten obedient children for your own children alone? This is right for you, but everything is relative, and you don't think it's right from your child's point of view.
And if a child is not rebellious, then it is impossible for him to develop his own thoughts, and when did the child start to be independent? It started with this rebellion, he began to ask for your influence, and began to deny all the thoughts you put on him, which was the first step for him to think independently, and the first battle to face the world alone, so you let him fail, and he surrendered!
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Children in the rebellious period are more likely to be irritable and angry, and like to play with some fun-loving children, and parents are most likely to get angry and angry at this time. When the child does not listen to himself for the first time, he will feel that his authority as a parent has been challenged, and the whole person will feel bad.
But if you think about it the other way around, this is the time when the child's three views are established, and it is also the time when parents need to be patient, and we can't ask the child to become as mature as an adult immediately. Then I ask you to think about it, whether we also quarreled with our parents and had conflicts with our parents when we were in the rebellious period.
However, that kind of contradiction is actually a manifestation of love, but it is a little too extreme, because the child does not know how to deal with the mood of this time at this time, so it is more rebellious, that is, it is easy to disagree with the parents. At this time, we need to let our children know for themselves that some of their actions are wrong.
You can't force your children, after all, we were children too.
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Teenagers always like to work against their parents, they are reckless and naïve, relying on their own subjective analysis of some things and thinking that they have grown up, during this period their physical and psychological growth is rapid, they think they have grown up, but they don't know that this is just growth.
There is a big difference between growing up and growing up, growth is in progress, many parents are at a loss for their children in the rebellious period, in fact, parents should be aware that children during this period have a considerable role in shaping the three views of life.
Parents say that the children in the rebellious period can not communicate with their parents, in fact, it is just that the way we communicate is not right, we might as well change the way of communication, follow the thoughts of the children in the rebellious period, let them realize that the current practice is very naïve, to learn is his current task, and the parent's education method plays a great role in the growth of children.
Some parents are wise and know how to communicate well with their children, and then become good friends with their children, and some parents do not know how to educate their children, do not know how to communicate, only know how to yell at children and scold children or are used to children, this practice is harming children, you have to change the way of communication to solve the children's troubles, instead of complaining that children are not sensible and can not be as you wish.
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Every child's growth stage, parents can cause care, especially in the rebellious period, do not use blunt language to communicate with the child will produce rebellious psychology, first of all, talk to your child like a friend, talk to her with a gentle tone, for her rebellious period Some problems, parents should communicate in a timely manner, if you really can't communicate, you can take the child to the psychological hospital for psychological counseling, this stage of the child is very disobedient, If education is not good, there are serious consequences.
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Some people say that the lack of communication is purely ignorant of current affairs. Adults and children are not on the same level, how to communicate? Will he understand you? My opinion is: more encouragement, less praise. Be diligent in accompaniment, avoid spoiling. It's really not good, the stick is waiting.
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Sending to a rebellious school is useless and counterproductive.
The rebellious period is not the child's fault, in life, if the child is rebellious, the reason must be analyzed first, and at the same time, parents should make changes in the way of their children, and guide them correctly in a scientific way
1.Parents should put their child's rebellious period in perspective, knowing that this is something that every child will go through when they are growing up. Parents should not assume that their children should not have rebellious periods.
2.When parents face children who are in a rebellious period, it is important for parents to understand and guide. When children don't like to learn, they love to play games, be late and absent from class, and be disobedient.
Even fights, early love and other problems are common manifestations of children in the rebellious period, parents should keep calm and talk to their children, and understand calmly and understand what the reasons for the child's dislike to learn.
3.Parents can accompany their children to find answers to certain ideas. Once the child enters the rebellious period, the vast majority of parents will choose to lose their temper or even solve the problem, but this will not only not let the child have some restraint, on the contrary, it will be more unscrupulous, so in the face of such problems, parents must control their emotions and maintain a rational mind is the key to dealing with the problem.
4.Helping children out of the rebellious period does need the correct guidance of parents, at this time emotional children are easy to do some out-of-the-ordinary things, from a psychological point of view, do a good job in children's psychological counseling is also needed, I hope it can help you!
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Communicate well, communicate well, communicate well.
Say important things 3 times, the more you refute him, the more rebellious he becomes, and if you ask him to go left, he will go to the right.
Therefore, parents really need to restrain their temper, get less angry, and communicate more.
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This must be communicated well, and now at this time, the child is caused by a more one-sided view of things.
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1. Wrong way of education: Start from an early age and let children know that there are rules in the world. You can't pamper, spoil, and spoil children from an early age.
Otherwise, the child will always be very self-centered. Soon developed a willful mentality. For example, some unreasonable requirements, we must focus on education, which can solve the child's request.
2. Observe more and learn the modern education model: Educating children is no longer relying on fists, but reforming and charging. With the knowledge of ideas, we can be good parents.
3. Everyone will go through this rebellious period, so parents must be considerate of their children. Let the child go well and walk the right course of life. Of course, keep it calm.
4. In order to understand the child's overall situation, you can contact the child's teacher to see how the child behaves and attitudes in school. It is convenient to do ideological work with children.
5. If the child encounters something that he is particularly interested in and wants to do, let him do it. provided that it is something that is lawful and reasonable. Don't worry about affecting your child's future future.
6. Turn tasks into fun games: In the game, each other's hearts are relaxed. From the game, it is also good to feel the mood of both parties and get additional emotional understanding from this environment of the game.
7. Walk the inner world of children, play with children, eat, and travel. Let your child have more activities, let yourself know more about your child, and become a good friend of your child. This is more conducive to guiding the child's direction.
8. Chat and communicate with your child's teachers and other students' parents to see what good ideas and the right way they have.
9. During this period, many times of our adults' decision-making, when discussing, we might as well let them join in, first, let them feel that they are also recognized by us as a member of the main force of the family, and second, let them feel the pressure of adults, and the opinions expressed by adults are much more senior than theirs.
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The main way to improve the child's rebellious period is to change the way of education, do not criticize or abuse the child, should respect the child more, usually respect the child's personal privacy and personal choice space, and communicate more with the child, understand the child's psychological state, and give some guidance in time. Parents should also understand the child more, not completely deny the child, and parents should play an exemplary role in the child's growth, and should improve the child's rebellious period through guidance.
2.If the child's rebellious symptoms are more serious, there are some excesses, such as self-harm, suicidal tendencies or behaviors, this situation is more serious, generally can not be alleviated through education, take the child to the psychiatric department of the hospital in a timely manner, you can be psychologically counseled by the doctor of the psychology department, to avoid accidents, if the child has obvious excesses or suicidal tendencies when necessary need to be controlled with medication, parents must take good care of the child, and in severe cases, hospitalization is required.
In fact, children who have just entered adolescence in their teens will be a little rebellious. Because at this time, the child's body is close to that of an adult, but the mind is not yet mature at all. In order to prove himself, or for some mental reasons, it will lead to extraordinarily rebellious, and he doesn't understand the consequences of doing things at all, and he doesn't think too much.
At this time, the main thing is to communicate more with the child, and then let the child pass it smoothly, in fact, after three years, the child will go through this rebellious period. It will slowly change and become normal again.
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Children are in a rebellious period, 1. We must have more encouragement and respect, encourage children to be good at expressing their inner thoughts, actively communicate and communicate with their parents, and not be able to suppress their negative emotions in the bottom of their hearts, or shout loudly and quarrel. If you say hurtful words because you are in a hurry, it may make your parents very sad. Only when children are aware of the importance of communication and express themselves positively can they alleviate the tension between parents and children, and the problem of learning that they become bored with school because of the tension between parents and children will also improve.
2. Be sure to use a variety of methods to make children fall in love with learning, such as taking children to exhibitions, or taking children to see museums and zoos, to stimulate children's interest in learning and encourage children to have more desire to explore.
3. You should also take your child to do more sports, such as playing badminton with your child, or swimming with your child. These methods can help children combine work and rest, regain energy, and have more motivation to learn. More companionship can also improve the child's mood, and at the same time the relationship with parents is more harmonious, and finally alleviate the emotional problems caused by anxiety, irritability, and rebellion.
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The handling of children's rebellion varies according to age, and parents should calmly communicate with their children and calm their emotions when rebellious in toddlers and prepubescent children.
For the rebellion that occurs in adolescence, parents should establish a correct understanding, let go appropriately, give understanding and respect, pay attention to the expression of emotions and cultivate a good parent-child relationship.
1. Rebellious in young children and prepubescent children:
Toddlers are usually 2-3 years old and shake their heads in rejection when they encounter something unpleasant, while preteen children are usually 8-9 years old and lose their temper if their requests are not met.
Parents should not use an indifferent attitude and yelling and scolding to educate, which will cause certain damage to the child's heart and may make him feel inferior and autistic. In this case, parents can appropriately meet the needs of the child, communicate calmly, calm the emotions, and after the child's emotions are more stable, the rebellious performance can usually be subsided to a certain extent.
2. Adolescent rebellion:
It is concentrated around the age of 14 and is more common, which is manifested by the development of self-awareness, the desire for independence, and the desire to get rid of parental control.
1. Establish a correct understanding: parents should realize that adolescent rebellion is a normal phenomenon, not deliberately opposed, and treat and deal with this matter with a peaceful attitude, which can avoid many unnecessary conflicts between parents and children;
2. Proper letting go: After the child enters adolescence, parents no longer need to do everything for the child, but should let go appropriately, so that the child can get a certain tempering and gradually form an independent personality;
3. Understanding and respect: communicate with children as friends, have equal dialogues, listen patiently to children's ideas, and make emotions reasonably cathartic. After the child enters puberty, the sense of independence increases, and parents should give full respect to this, such as not reading the diary without permission, and respecting privacy;
4. Pay attention to emotional expression: children in adolescence are usually more sensitive in their hearts, so they should pay attention to the relaxation of tone when communicating, avoid impatience and random dissatisfaction and disappointment with children, and be more tolerant and understanding to help children better survive this period;
5. Cultivate a good parent-child relationship: Don't always preach or even scold from the perspective of adults, you can use a softer tone to reason with children. Spend more time with and care for your child, such as playing games together, so as to form a good parent-child relationship;
6. Create a harmonious family environment: The relationship between husband and wife is at the core of the family relationship, so parents should create a good family atmosphere and avoid quarrels and negative emotions in front of their children, which will affect their children's emotions and aggravate their rebellious psychology.
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