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It is possible that parents do not give enough to their childrenA sense of security。Another is that parents pay too much attention to their children and put too much pressure on their children.
There are many parents who wonder that when their child is young, he will tell him anything, but the older he grows, he will not talk about many things, and even if he is injured, he will not say anything. <>
1. The love of parents has a sense of oppression
Children are treasures in the palms of their parents. For fear that the child will be wronged, every time he is injured, the parents are very nervous and blame themselves. Sometimes parents don't let their children play this or that because they are afraid that their children will be hurt, it will restrict their children's freedom.
Later, the child will be injured, and they will not dare to tell their parents, because they feel that telling their parents will be very stressful. Some parents give their children too much oppressive love and are very stressful. It is normal for a child to suffer a little injury, but parents make a fuss and take care of it.
Second, you will be blamed for telling your parents
There are many children who tell their parents about their injuries, and some parents will scold their children: why are you so careful every day, why are you so naughty? Don't save him snacks, he is so busy every day, and he worries about him every day.
Over time, children will know that telling parents is useless and they will be scolded. is bullied by others outside, and sometimes he won't tell his parents, because he feels that his parents will not protect him, and can only make his parents angry. <>
The younger child was injured and he didn't feel anything at all. Some children are more playful, he may have fallen, he just cares about playing, he doesn't even know that he is injured. Maybe he didn't feel the pain until he touched the water in the bath, and he realized that he was injured, not because he didn't tell his parents.
Parents should learn to let go and not be too protective of their children. Or after all, they have to grow up, there are many things for children they already know how to deal with, they will also know how to protect themselves, parents are more to tell. The child's way of protecting herself, telling the child that we are her backers.
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It is because parents do not understand their children and always criticize their children, if parents know how to listen to their children's hearts, know how to support their children, and understand their children, this situation will not occur.
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If the child is injured because he is naughty, he is afraid to tell his parents because he is afraid of being scolded, and if the child is injured because he is bullied, but he refuses to tell his parents, it may be because he is timid and afraid that the other party will retaliate against him.
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Caused by too much attention to the child. Parents must learn to let go and not be too protective of their children. After all, they still have to grow up, and there are many things going on for children who already know how to cope.
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The child may be coerced by others, or the child may not be close enough to the parents, or the parents may be too strict and the child is not kind enough.
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Children who are injured but hide and dare not speak out simply because they have a parent who cannot accept them. They know that if they are injured, their parents will not care about them, there will only be endless scolding, which is why they are reluctant to ask their parents for help.
1. The impact of parents' disacceptance on children.
Like my friends, if they live under strict discipline for a long time and are scolded for the slightest mistake, then when the child is hurt later, they will be afraid of being punished. Because they know that even if they are injured, their parents will not worry about them in the first place, and they will only be relentlessly accused, so they are reluctant to ask their parents for help!
2. Lack of parental care.
Some parents are very stingy with their children's care, and after their children are injured, they seek comfort from their parents, but the parents not only do not give comfort, but they will also be asked to solve their own problems. Children who are not cared for, over time, are reluctant to ask their parents for help, no matter how big the harm is. The indifference of parents breaks the child's heart, and the child is reluctant to open up to his parents.
3. Lack of understanding from parents.
Children who are understood by their parents will face difficulties bravely from the heart, because such children know that they have parents to support them, they do not need to be afraid, and their parents can also think from their own point of view, which is also very comforting. But most parents don't understand their children, but instead take suppressing their children as "fun" and say a bunch of big truths. This will only distance parents and children and make them more indifferent to each other.
Parents should be the most trustworthy people for their children, when the child is wronged, the first time to seek help from the parents, the child will feel that there are parents, I am not afraid of anything. Therefore, when a child falls and is injured, parents must learn to understand, comfort and accept their children, so that their children can grow up with a full sense of security, trust their parents, and believe that their parents will always stand behind him and help him!
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When a child is being bullied, parents should first calmly listen to the child's description of the incident and help the child judge right from wrong. And tell the children that conflicts between boys, especially boys, are normal. If the fight is too intense, do not use external tools to hit the opponent when rising to contact with the limbs, on the one hand, to protect your vulnerable parts.
When you were bullied as a child, you chose to put up with it. This is man's instinct for self-preservation. When you grow up, if you continue to put up with it, some people will say to you, "Take a step back, the sky is wide".
However, blind forbearance can only expose one's own weakness, and when a child is bullied, parents should first calmly listen to the process of the child's description of the incident and help the child judge right and wrong. And tell the children that conflicts between boys, especially boys, are normal. If the fight is too intense, do not use external tools to hit the opponent when rising to contact with the limbs, on the one hand, to protect your vulnerable parts.
When you were bullied as a child, you chose to put up with it. This is man's instinct for self-preservation. When you grow up, if you continue to put up with it, some people will say to you, "Take a step back, the sky is wide".
It will only exacerbate the changes of those hegemons!
Therefore, when children are bullied, they should do a good job of psychological counseling so that children know how to fight back. When a child is being bullied, parents should first calmly listen to the child's description of the incident and help the child judge right from wrong. And tell the children that conflicts between boys, especially boys, are normal.
If the fight is too intense, do not use external tools to hit the opponent when rising to contact with the limbs, on the one hand, to protect your vulnerable parts. When you were bullied as a child, you chose to put up with it. This is man's instinct for self-preservation.
When you grow up, if you continue to put up with it, some people will say to you, "Take a step back, the sky is wide". First, temporarily become a pillar behind the child's back, show that he is loved, and then teach the child to fight back and learn to protect himself. When a child is bullied, it is necessary to do a good job of psychological counseling so that the child knows how to fight back.
When a child is being bullied, parents should first calmly listen to the child's description of the course of the incident and <>
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The first is the problem of parents, some parents learn that their children are being bullied, their first reaction is whether their children provoked others first. The second is that it may not be of much use to tell parents, who are busy with work and do not have the time and energy to care for their children.
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Maybe the child is more afraid of his parents and has low self-esteem. If children are afraid of their parents, it is generally because the parents are more fierce and demanding in front of their children, and they want to be affirmed by their parents.
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They are afraid that telling their parents will not solve the problem in the future, but they will suffer more bullying and ridicule, and they feel that they should not tell their parents, and after telling their parents, some children's bullying will be more serious.
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These children are often threatened and intimidated by others, or these children are more introverted and not good at expressing themselves, and they don't want their parents to worry about things, or they still don't know how to talk to their parents.
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First, these children are generally very weak in their hearts, and their personalities are also honest, and they dare not speak out casually. Second, it also has a lot to do with the educational philosophy and growth environment from an early age. Third, I am timid and afraid, afraid that after telling my parents, my parents will go to school to find a teacher to theorize, and after the teacher criticizes, they will bully themselves again.
Basically, these three reasons are the result.
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If the child is bullied at school, he should speak out and tell the parents not to hold it in his heart, which is very detrimental to the child's growth and is likely to cause the child to become autistic.
This requires that in ordinary times, parents should communicate more with their children, tell their children what kind of practice is right and what kind of practice is wrong, especially when they are bullied at school, when they want to tell their children that they are bullied, they must tell parents and teachers about these bullied things, in their own incapable situation, parents and teachers will make decisions for their children, don't talk about digging to make children feel that they are no one to care, so they dare not say if they are bullied, so now, school bullying is also very serious, They are so serious that they hurt the children's hearts, and in this case, if the children confide in their grievances with the adults and the parents, then it is very likely to form a certain shadow in their hearts, resulting in some changes in their emotions, and maybe there will be a lot of bad things, such as autism and depression, these are all cases.
Some parents because of the care and care for their children is less, because they are usually busy with work, the discipline of their children at home will be less, then they think that as long as there is no shortage of children, no lack of money, no lack of food, no lack of drink, then the child will not lack anything else, in fact, the most lacking of children is love and their care, so parents must understand this, if the child feels that they are important at home, is concerned, so even if they are wronged at school, they will confide in their parentsI hope that parents can make decisions for themselves, so this is parents helping children and helping children solve problems.
Because children are children after all, they are not mature, their psychology and some ideas are not very mature, but there are parents to support them, they have been wronged, and they will be brave to speak out, but if parents do not care about their children, children will feel that they are isolated, no one cares, so the character has been developed into a particularly cowardly, scattered to bullying, and they endure it and do not say that it may gradually lead to some tragedies.
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Parents have conflicting opinions and different positions, complain about each other, children have low self-esteem, parents dote on them, children indulge, and blindly spoil children lack assertiveness, poor communication with others, and inability to deal with crises, and at worst lead to excessive indulgence of children.
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Parents will immediately hit their children as soon as they have a conflict, they will immediately scold their children, and often hurt their children's self-esteem, often compare others with their own children, say that their children are not promising, and say that their children are not excellent, which will cause irreversible damage to children, which will cause children to have low self-esteem and sensitivity, no matter what they do, they have no self-confidence, they are particularly extreme in doing things, and they are particularly prone to rebellion.
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There are such things, the relationship between parents is particularly bad, and there are many contradictions, and secondly, parents are very immodest, always self-righteous, and always complain to each other, belittle each other, or especially spoil children, especially indulge children, and there are different parenting concepts, two people have different ways of educating children, so that children are particularly affected.
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If parents dote on their children, it is also very bad for their children, and it is easy to cause their children to overindulge in their personality.
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Hello dear, I'm glad to be able to serve you since I was a child, and I didn't dare to tell my parents, because your parents taught you frustration, that is, they were very strict, and they didn't allow you to show your vulnerable side. So you're used to not competing with them to share good things with them, so when you're hurt, you feel that you're on your own vulnerable side, so you won't tell them that as you get older, this thing may have become a habit and you can't go. It's pretty normal anyway.
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Q: My son will be eight years old in half a month, and he doesn't like to talk about what happened and encountered him outside since he was a child. Yesterday, he had a large bag bulging out of the back of his head, still covered in blood.
He said that something suddenly flew from behind, and he himself did not know what it was, and hit him on the head. He also had a scratch on his cheek, which he said was from crying. Asked repeatedly, he refused to tell the truth.
We are very angry and feel sorry for him, and if this continues, we can't help him if something goes wrong. I said ruthlessly last night, since you don't care how you are injured, it means that your injuries are not serious, so you don't need to treat the wounds. I knew it hurt him, but I was really angry.
How to do it, ask the experts for advice. Mu Yi: Whether the child wants to say it or not, parents should be considerate and help the child to deal with the wound.
If he ignores the child angrily, it will be even less likely for him to tell the parents about the outside in the future. I think it is most important for parents to give their children a warm family atmosphere, which is selfless, rather than asking their children to reciprocate, such as talking to adults about everything. Moreover, the child's mind is different from that of an adult, and he may really forget what happened.
Ma Ziyue: This child is very eager to be accepted unconditionally by his parents, but he can't judge what kind of attitude his parents will have when they know what is happening outside.
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