What s the funniest slip of the tongue you ve ever heard?

At the orientation party of the student council, the president of the student council said "those freshmen whom I personally picked up" became "those freshmen whom I personally delivered".

At that time, as soon as this sentence came out, everyone didn't react at first, and suddenly a student next to me stood up and shouted at the podium, "Chairman, I didn't deliver the baby yourself!" I gave birth to my mom in the health center! As soon as these words came out, everyone in the audience laughed, and everyone shouted:

Chairman, how many babies have you delivered?! "Chairman! You're amazing!

Delivering babies is a technical job! ”

The president of the student union stood on the stage with an embarrassed face, and kept waving his hand and shouting: "Slip of the tongue is really a slip of the tongue"! But everyone laughed crazy and didn't listen to control at all, I also admire this student union president, how big his heart is, to be able to say that picking up new students is midwifery, and the difference in meaning is simply a earth-shaking change.

This time I really have to follow him for the rest of my life.,Sure enough, this stalk has been paid attention to the student union president until we graduate from college.。 This student union president is also famous in the school because of this slip of the tongue, and when the student councils of other colleges meet, they will say that they want to meet the president of the student union with special skills.

In the end, our student council president was so scared that he never spoke in public again. Thinking about it, I feel that the slip of the tongue is really impactful, and if it is not said well, it may have a great impact, if it is not a big person, forget it, but it happened to the man, every time I see this chairman in the future, I can't help but think of this slip of the tongue, and I can't help but laugh out loud, so that he is afraid to see us, and the original cold image is completely ruined on this sentence. <>

Sometimes we make others unhappy because we accidentally say the wrong thing, but sometimes it has the opposite effect, a small slip of the tongue can bring great happiness to others!

1.I talked to my brother about the Romance of the Three Kingdoms, but I didn't expect my brother to say:"Liu Bei is a princess (originally the lord) ......

2.Once, when it was my turn to cook, my favorite scrambled eggs with tomatoes, I said something that shocked the nursing aunt: "I want a scrambled tomato with tomatoes."

At that time, I saw that the aunt in the nursing class didn't move, so I thought that the aunt didn't hear clearly, so I said again in a long voice: "West, red, persimmon, fried, fan, eggplant." ”

3.I once read a text, and it was either read as "Sima Guang smashed the light", or "Sima Cylinder smashed the cylinder", or it was pronounced as "Sima Cylinder smashed the light", but I couldn't read "Sima Guang smashed the cylinder"! You know, I'm the class leader!

4.My biggest slip of the tongue was a sentence when I memorized a text: such a mountain reflects such water, and such water surrounds such a mountain. The latter is slightly ......

5.Once, a classmate had just finished running and wanted to say, "I am made of iron," but he said that I was made of iron, and then he felt that it was wrong and said, "I beat iron."

6.Another time, my mom was cooking, I went to help, and my mom gave me a sentence, I was petrified, guess what she said? "Go and dice the carrots! "Speechless!

7.Tell a ghost story to your classmates: ......... in a finger that can't see the nightNow they still laugh at me about it

8.Once during our class performance, the teacher comforted us on the podium and cheered us on, and then she said with emotion: Don't be nervous, students, aren't all people in the audience have one eye and two mouths! "The whole class was laughing and falling to the ground.

9.Once, the teacher asked us to write an essay on the topic of "If I Were a Spider", and I was puzzled but wrote it anyway. The next day, I wrote the title "If I Were a Pig"...Embarrassment.

Our slogan: "You are happy, I am happy, everyone is happy". I've been working hard for this goal! In line with the principle of "it is better to be happy alone than to be happy with all", I will share my treasured funny slip of the tongue, hoping to bring you joy! Without further ado, the picture below is above.

Another time, I told a classmate a serious truth: "Let me tell you, there is no free lunch in the world!" Seeing that he was about to laugh, he hurriedly changed his words:

Oh, there's no such thing as a free lunch! The other party laughed violently, and it was easy not to reason with others from then on.

My mother has cervical spondylosis, and she puts medicine on her neck every day, and one day I asked her, "Do you want to wipe your neck with medicine?" My mother glared at me and said, "I don't plan to kill myself!" ”

I was born with a missing corner of my ear, and I asked my mom how she did it, and she joked, "Your dad bit it!" My dad ate bread in the dining room and said, "I didn't bite, I ate it with tears!" "Giant Cold!

I remember when I was in school, there was a sports meeting, and no one in our class signed up, and our sports committee (boys) was very anxious, and took the registration form and announced it to the class: Tell you that the girls have heard clearly, and if they don't sign up, they will "force the registration" (compulsory registration). The girl was angry.

Once, my mother's classmates came to my house for dinner, and after eating a bowl of it, my mother wanted to serve it again. She said, don't give it to me, I'm not ...... enough

Once, I occasionally called ** to my classmates, and the other party picked up ** and fed it, I suddenly forgot who I was calling **, and I said for a long time: Who are you?

That's all I found, I saw a lot of them last time in the Zhener.com-Ercargo Concentration Camp, you can go and check them out! Hope it helps!

In our dormitory, when we chatted at night, we said that we were descendants of Yan and Huang. As a result, the squad leader made a mistake and said that we are the descendants of the prince of Hades. It scared us a lot. Our sharp squad leader.

I'm mad at the teacher.

One day, the teacher walked into the class, and the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" The teacher said indignantly: Just call good morning? What about my afternoon? Isn't it bad? ”

Then the students shouted in unison: "Good afternoon, teacher!" ”

The teacher said indignantly, "What about me at night? ”

The students shouted in unison: "Teacher, it's okay at night!" ”

The teacher nodded and said, "That's it, now shout again!" ”

The students shouted in unison: "Good morning, good afternoon, good afternoon, good evening, teacher!"

The teacher said, "Sit down!" Today we are going to review antonyms, we practice like this, I say that you should not speak, will - 10 points! , you say the antonyms out loud. Start now.

Teacher: "The weather is fine today. Student: "It's a bad day. ”

Teacher: "It's sunny everywhere. Student: "It's cloudy everywhere. ”

Teacher: "The road is crowded. Student: "The road is empty. ”

Teacher: "Young. Student: "Old." ”

Teacher: "Stand." Student: "Lie down".

Teacher: "There was a young man standing on the road. Student: "There's an old man lying down on the road. ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar." Student: "I lost a dollar." ”

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar and gave it to the teacher." Student: "I lost a dollar and went to steal the teacher." Teacher: "Wrong, you can't say that!" Student: "That's right, that's what you should say!" ”

Teacher: "Wrong. Student: "Correct." ”

Teacher: "It's not okay, it's illegal; Student: "That's okay, it's legal!" ”

Teacher: "I said it wrong. Student: "We said it right. ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher said is correct!" Student: "Listen to us, what the teacher says is wrong!" ”

Teacher: "You are stupid. Student: "We're smart. ”

Teacher: "Stop! Student: "Go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Stop now!" Stop it! Student: "Let's move on now!" And more! ”

Teacher: "You stupid pigs, I said stop!" Student: "We're all geniuses, we say go ahead!" ”

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher!" Student: "Teacher listens to us!" ”

Teacher: "Students have to listen to the teacher!" Student: "Teachers have to listen to students!" ”

Teacher: "Now stop practicing!" Student: "Now let's keep practicing!" ”

Teacher: "Are you all endless?" Student: "We have a beginning and an end!" ”

Teacher: "Then you stop!" Stupid pig! Student: "Then let's move on!" Talented! ”

When I was working as a cashier, a woman once took a bag of sanitary napkins to pay for it, and after checking out, I wanted to say, "Please go slowly", but I accidentally said "Please use it slowly".

I remember that when I was in junior high school, there was a lesson about the Great Northern Wilderness, and the teacher asked us to read the text, and there was a sentence that was "the rod beats the roe deer and scoops the fish, and the pheasant flies into the rice pot". When I was reading the text aloud at the same table, I accidentally made a mistake and pronounced it as "The rod beats the roe deer and scoops the fish, and the pheasant flies to the bed" I was almost dizzy with laughter, but she didn't realize it yet, and asked me seriously what was wrong!!

There are duck feathers, and they are called 'duck feathers' on the street. Speaking of acquaintances with colds, he yelled loudly, "Collect colds".

I remember going on an outing with my colleague, who got married, and then we made a barbecue to eat. The colleague shouted to her husband: Husband, are you going to peel this green onion I don't know if I'm too excited or what.

The result is that you will peel this from the old onion!!

I remember once saying in the office with my colleagues that so-and-so is like a farmer, earthy, simple, very cute, everyone said yes, like a farmer like a farmer, suddenly**ring, the colleague who picked up ** actually said, hey, hello, farmer! ~

I saw these types of jokes with a slip of the tongue in the Zhener.com-Ercargo Concentration Camp, you can check it out!!

The chemistry exam issued test papers, but the test papers were not enough, and the teacher asked:"Who else has extra exam papers? "

A girl shouted"Teacher, I have it! "

The boy next to him shouted:"It's mine! It's mine! "

Believe it or not, I called a cart of breadmen to beat you?

Once, my girlfriend and I were at school and went to the toilet together after class. Suddenly, I saw a boy in our class playing with a girl, especially like a couple, and my girlfriend wanted to say, "Oh mom!

You see! The result was: "Mom, look!

I laughed until class.

Today, we are learning about the cone, and the teacher wants to say that you put a right triangle on the pencil, turn the pencil quickly, and turn it like a cone, and the result is "turn like a compass." ”

Once I was in a hurry to poop and thought to myself, "I'm going to.""When he found that there was no paper, he shouted in the bathroom: "Mom! Give me a bag of!! "