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Ignoring each other in marriage, being indifferent to each other's affairs, and not caring and taking care of each other at all, such a cold war really hurts feelings and will make a person collapse.
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After the two people quarreled, they each went back to their respective mothers' houses, and then stopped contacting, this kind of cold war, I think it is the most emotionally sad.
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Two people don't talk, and then they don't communicate, in fact, such a cold war is very hurtful, and the relationship will become very indifferent for a long time.
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In marriage, not taking into account the emotions of the other party at all, and then cold-fighting whenever there is a problem, this situation is very emotional.
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The two of them have a cold war over trivial matters, and neither of them is willing to take the initiative to apologize.
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I think it should be that the quarrel and cold war in the marriage for at least a week or more are the most emotionally hurtful, because it will make the relationship become weaker and weaker.
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In marriage, if two people communicate less together, and do not communicate when they encounter problems, I believe it will hurt their feelings.
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It is a very normal thing to encounter problems in marriage, everyone will encounter all kinds of problems, all kinds of contradictions, and the most important thing is to see how to solve them between two people. Many couples like the cold war, the so-called cold war is that they don't talk after there is a conflict, both of them are angry, it depends on who pulls down the bottom to apologize first, in fact, this is very hurtful feelings. The Cold War hurt the feelings the most.
One: Don't talk to each other.
If it is two people, the atmosphere is very solidified, but if there are children in the house, the child can easily feel this atmosphere, knowing that two people are quarrelling, although there is no big noise, but it is more serious than the big noise, and the child's heart will also be confused, I don't know what to do. Because both sides are the people they love the most. <>
Two: Find someone to be angry with each other.
If there is a cold war between some couples, they will deliberately find friends or strangers of the opposite sex, and get a little closer, just to make each other jealous. In fact, this is also very hurtful feelings, if there is a contradiction, then solve the contradiction, don't go against your heart in order to punish the other party, that hurts not only the other party, but also another person, it is easy to hurt each other's feelings. <>
Three: Running away from home.
Some people are not very good at quarreling, so after two people have a conflict, they don't know how to say it, just hold it in their hearts, you ask a sentence and say a word, anyway, it's always yin and yang, and I don't give you a good look. Others will run away from home, they don't want to quarrel but they are angry in their hearts, so they run away on a period, saying that they have a conflict with him. <>
These practices are not wise choices, even after two people are reconciled, there will be cracks in the relationship. Therefore, it is not easy for everyone in the chain to be together, and it is good to communicate well if there is a contradiction, and do not have a cold war, which is the most hurtful feeling.
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No longer love each other.
The Cold War is an invisible knife in feelings that only hurts each other.
The Cold War was one in which each ignored the other and waited for the other side to give in to itself.
The Cold War is a snatch of rights between both parties, and the Cold War will seriously hurt the feelings between husband and wife, and most divorced couples have had cold war behaviors before the divorce. The reason why the Cold War hurts feelings is because there is a hidden element in the process of power struggle between two people: "I still have expectations for you", "I long for you to see the weakness in my heart and obey myself, so as to prove your love for me".
We also know that in the early days of the Cold War, both people wanted to be loved by the other, and they had a belief in their hearts: "If you love me, you should take the initiative to confess your mistakes to me." ”
But later, because both parties uphold this belief, both people are waiting for the other party to admit their mistakes, and will not take the initiative to admit their mistakes to the other party, even if one party admits mistakes, it is also a lot of negative emotions such as dissatisfaction and grievances accumulated in their hearts, and these emotions will explode one day.
We have been waiting for the other person to admit our mistakes, but the other party has not, so you feel that he doesn't love you anymore, and your inner expectations are shattered, and you have a strong sense of disappointment.
This feeling of disappointment will make the two of you withdraw your love for each other, consume your love, no longer pin your expectations on each other, and your love for your partner will disappear little by little.
Cold wars again and again will lead to one result: one of the two of you is completely disappointed in the other half and no longer loves the other. Behind the indifference, my heart has been entangled ten thousand times:
Why did he ignore me, didn't he miss me? ”
Apologize to me and give me a stairs down! ”
In the end, no one was willing to compromise, and the heart was cold and cold, and finally it was cold.
The Cold War will drain feelings. When the relationship is good, you always think that the other party loves you very much, in fact, after the cold war, you will understand that he doesn't like you so much.
Therefore, the cold war will make you clearly understand the true and false feelings.
The Cold War gets along with each other at all, it is just blindly consuming the other party's original pure love, don't prove that love needs to be felt, don't escape, and the contradiction must be resolved.
In short, don't cold war, communicate more, and express each other's inner feelings.
It is a kind of benign communication for two people to face each other's own, or each other's, or common mistakes, and at the same time, it also enhances the understanding of the other party and deepens the other party's dependence on you.
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The Cold War is divided into cold violence and cold treatmentWhat really hurts feelings is actually cold violence.
Cold violence is one of a kindAdversarial approach
The "Cold War" that we usually criticize is actually "cold violence."
Cold violence is one-sided, no greetings, no consultations,It is manifested in action as a cold attitude, avoidance of alienation, deliberate indifference, and failure to communicate verbally and emotionally.
People who have been subjected to cold violence often say something like: I would rather you have a big fight with me.
BecauseThe most terrible thing is the loneliness in silenceYou can't know what the other person really thinks, and you can only constantly engage in self-guessing and even self-doubt.
Jiang Zhenyu, head of the micro-response research group of China University of Political Science and Law, proposed:The motive of cold violence is first of all to torture the other person, and the manifestation is not to speak or communicate, but to lose your temper. In other words, a person who is good at using cold and violent means is like a "time bomb" that will be ** at any time.
In the field of psychology, cold violence, also known as "building walls to escape", belongs to a kind of self-defense function. It usually manifests itself as one party rushing to finish the problem and the other party is busy evading it.
The evasive party may leave the scene in the middle of the conversation, or they may change the subject and talk about him left and right; It is also possible to hope that the other party will no longer chase ...... through a perfunctory response
This kind of defense is a kind of mental abuse of the partner, punishing the other person by silent means and making the other person submit, which is enough to bring serious psychological and spiritual trauma to the other person.
Regarding the trauma caused by cold violence, there is a very classic description in "Wu Wen Xidong":
You are kind to everyone, but you are blind to me. You didn't hit me with your hands, you hit me with your attitude!
There is a popular saying on the Internet: "Whoever takes the initiative is the one who loves more". So can it be understood that "the side that provoked the Cold War just doesn't care enough about the other side"?
In fact, many of them just don't know how to love.
Most of the violent behavior stems from the inner desire to controlThis desire for control can hardly be said to be a pathological manifestation of "love", due to the lack of correct communication and emotional adjustment, which leads many people to be passive and violent in intimate relationships.
The so-called passivity means that neither side wants a cold war, but for some reason has to do so. For example, couples who quarrel frequently without speculation have formed a habit because they find it easier to be "silent" than "communicate" and to avoid quarrels.
"Originally, I wanted to communicate well, but not only did the problem not be solved, but my mood was even worse, so in the end I could only be speechless. "People who are passive and violent often feel that the Cold War is forced out by the other side.
However, in fact, whether it is active cold violence or passive cold violence, once you face an intimate relationship with nothing to say for a long time, the relationship will be consumed step by step in a long period of disappointment, and finally it is inevitable to part ways.
Cold violence is really undesirable because it does all kinds of harm to feelings and does nothing good.
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This situation is very bad, and it looks like there is a serious problem in your marriage. The Cold War and poor communication will only make the problem worse, and if you want to move on, you need to do something to fix it.
First of all, you need to try to let go of the accusations and scolding him and communicate with him in a peaceful manner. Tell him that you care about him, that you care about your marriage, and that you want to understand and support each other. Try to listen to his opinions and ideas, understand why he is cold and unhappy with you, and see if you can make changes in some ways to improve your married life.
Secondly, you need to consider seeking professional help, such as a couple's ** or psychological counselor, who can provide you with professional advice and guidance to help you solve the problems in your marriage.
Finally, if you find that you are no longer able to save your marriage, you need to consider a divorce. But before making this decision, you need to carefully consider all the consequences and implications, especially for your children. If you decide to divorce, you need to seek professional legal advice and help to ensure that your interests are protected.
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It is normal for a husband and wife to have a cold war, don't pay too much attention to it, it's normal for a husband and wife to quarrel, don't care too much, don't deal with a quarrel between husband and wife, a cold war can't solve the problem, a husband and wife quarrel, a quarrel at the head of the bed and the end of the bed, don't have a cold war, a cold war is not good for the feelings of both husband and wife, quarrel between husband and wife, no matter who is right or wrong, don't have a cold war, communicate in a timely manner, solve things well, you quarrel between husband and wife, you can communicate with him well in a stupid shed, don't have a cold war, husband and wife quarrel, quarrel at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed, Don't always have a cold war, there is a cold war between your husband and wife, because of the lack of communication between you, so there will be a cold war, if the quarrel between husband and wife does not roll, it doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong, don't have a cold war, you can communicate calmly.
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1. Find a meaningful place to talk What about the cold war between husband and wife? No matter how long the Cold War lasts, if you want to change this stalemate relationship, talking is a must. When you've both calmed down and calmed down, you can offer to talk.
The place of conversation can be a place where something meaningful can be overshadowed. For example, the restaurant where the first date is lost, the top of the hill where he proposes to you, etc.
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Maybe there's a lack of communication between the two of you. After a long time, there will be a lack of freshness. Your husband Duan Chagai is now in a cold period.
That grip doesn't give you some space for each other. You don't care, you feel a little more relaxed. It has nothing to do with the outside world, what region do you have to marry him?
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In a relationship, how to break the cold war?
First, communicate in a timely manner, take the initiative to resolve contradictions, and break the Cold War situation.
In the relationship, there is always a person in an active position, especially when the two sides are in a state of cold war, a person to take the initiative to communicate in a timely manner, timely and effective communication, then the situation of the cold war will be broken. The cold war between two people may be because of a sentence or a small thing, but when two people are cold, it will hurt their feelings and affect the emotions of the two people. Therefore, in life, when two people have a conflict, they must not choose to deal with the problem in a cold war way.
Two people should take the initiative to communicate with each other and take the initiative to resolve conflicts, which will not only not affect the feelings of two people, but also enhance the feelings between two people in communication. <>
Second, Iwahaya boy's active admission of mistakes is the best way to break the Cold War.
In fact, in love, I think there is no right or wrong, but when two people have a conflict, girls always want boys to explain to themselves and take the initiative to admit their mistakes, although boys sometimes don't have any mistakes. But if two people have a quarrel and are in a state of cold war, and the boy can put down the mask in advance and apologize to the girl and admit his mistake, then I think the sensible girl will also stop in moderation and give a step down. Between the words of the two men, the Cold War was defused.
The third, a surprise, a delicious meal, was enough to defuse the Cold War situation.
Feelings go both ways, and when two people have a conflict and are in a cold war, the best way to resolve it is actually very simple. The boy prepares a beautiful gift for the girl, not how expensive the gift is, how expensive, as long as the heart is sincere, the girl will be moved, in the same way, the girl also prepares a hearty and delicious meal for the boy, as soon as the boy comes home, he sees such a warm situation, and the right time to take out the gift he has prepared, the two have a heart, and the cold war is self-defeating. <>
The cold war in the relationship is really very painful, so if we have problems, we must communicate in time and solve them immediately, and don't let the pain always surround life.
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