What is it like to have a poor family of origin?

I'm just, I've always wanted to run away, emotionally I'd rather hurt others than let myself be hurt, and now I will subconsciously feel uncomfortable for who speaks loudly and chirps crookedly, since I was a child, I was afraid in this environment, my mother chirped crookedly all day long, depressed, my dad played drunk and smashed things and beat people, although they were not like that after they separated, but I still left a shadow.

During his childhood, he lived in the quarrels of his parents, occasionally mixed with the involvement of his grandmother. The most terrifying thing was the moment when the air froze before the outbreak of the war, my heart beat sharply, and all that came to my mind was my father's violent throwing things during a similar quarrel and my mother's cold face, which made me form a conditioned reflex: as soon as the war broke out, my tears would immediately be like beads of broken thread that could not be stopped.

Until I am almost 30 years old now, as long as one party's voice is loud, tears will still appear in a stressful manner.

The family is too poor, and everything has to grow up to earn money to buy by itself, resulting in little savings.

I didn't invest in a good family, and I didn't enjoy the warmth of the family.

My parents divorced not long after I was born. I followed my mom, and I don't remember the role of a father. Later, my mother remarried and gave birth to a younger brother, and my personality is relatively kind and simple, so it is still very good to get along with my younger brother.

My mom has a very impatient personality and doesn't speak well, but what can I do, she's my mom. Because of the lack of fatherly love, I later fell in love with a man who was nine years older than me, got married, and had children. Actually, we have been together for six years, married for two years, and I am very unhappy after marriage, he is very strong and disrespectful to me and my family.

I endured it again and again. Now I feel that I can't bear it anymore, I want to divorce very much, and I feel sorry for my son who is less than two years old, I have experienced a single-parent family, but I want him to go through it, and I feel that I am not a good mother......Hey....

I grew up in a patriarchal family. My father never taught us, claiming that if he gave us money, we would complete the task. My mother vented her emotions on me and asked me to take care of my brother, on the grounds that my brother had a smooth journey in life and could not let him go through setbacks, and it was normal for me to have a bad life and experience ups and downs.

Ever since I was a child, I wanted to get a little love and make myself what they wanted, but they still couldn't see me. I was set up as a person of bad character, and my brother was set up as a good person in heaven and on earth. So much so that no one believed in the fact that my brother beat his wife and mother-in-law.

I worked hard for the health of my family and persuaded me to seek medical treatment, but no one cared about it, and I was scolded, and finally my father suffered from severe cerebral infarction due to perennial high blood pressure. When it happened, I was told that I had caused my dad to get sick and be hospitalized. Conscience of heaven and earth!

The parents have a bad temper, the father is irritable at home, he is an absolute good person outside, no one can be offended, and when he encounters unhappiness in the unit, he goes home to take his wife and children to be angry. My mother is uneducated, likes to nag, belongs to the duck beak that can't be boiled, although I was violently beaten by my father, I didn't dare to fight back, but I didn't admit defeat. People say that those who kill their mouths will drown water, and that's right.

The family wars of the parents are constant, and the father who has a feudal machismo is always fierce and vicious, which makes people shudder. The five of us brothers and sisters also mingled, of course, the big ones hit the small ones, and the small ones stared dryly. I have always had excellent academic performance, but since the third year of junior high school, I have skipped school and missed school, I am reluctant to go home, and I play crazy with delinquent teenagers outside, which causes my studies to plummet and I have become a backward youth.

The original family is too poor, it is the ex-husband's family, and later divorced and freed, the people in his family are selfish and stingy, short-tempered, irresponsible, love to gamble, and have no culture.

The ex-husband's original family is really bad!

The original family will really affect a person's growth, my parents actually love me very much, but some of their expressions are wrong, so I didn't feel that this love actually exists before, this feeling is after I got married, and my mother-in-law got along with my own realization, hey, no matter how my parents at least love themselves, but my father's temper is coming, I'm a little timid at home, I've been like this since I was a child, so I don't have too much to talk about with them, but I'm an only child, Actually, I should stay with them, but I got married and left the house, and now I wake up a little late, but I understand that they just can't express that they don't love me, that's enough, I'm also trying to adjust the atmosphere at home, try to be optimistic, and can also drive them, so I rarely talk to them about some unhappy things in my mother-in-law's house, because at least I understand this, I can also adjust my mentality, they don't know what their shortcomings are, and they don't realize the impact on me, So they won't change and adjust, and I don't want to blame them for anything, after all, they are the ones who gave birth to me, raised me, and cared about me, and that's it.

I have a lot of brothers and sisters in my family, and I have been very poor since I was a child, and it is not easy, and my parents have taught us to be humble and loving. Several of us are all educated like me, so that when we grow up, we will still think about our brothers and sisters first, such as a family meal, who has something to eat at the table, can come back to eat later, then no matter who leaves the dishes, they will definitely leave the best, more than the average amount of each person, because my mother taught him a sentence since childhood: Eating is not a loss to future generations.

As long as there is something in the family, the brothers and sisters are rushing to take responsibility, and those who can contribute money and those who can contribute are afraid that the other party will bear too much and their lives or finances will be sad. A united and loving family also allows us to find the other half when we grow up to find the same type of person, who can think about each other and have love and human feelings, so when the brother-in-law and brother-in-law are added to the big family, they will quickly dissolve into this family, and they will get along happily for each other, and they will try their best to do what they can, and this family will be better and better, and the happier and happier they will be, and there will be more happiness and laughter.

I work outside all year round, and I don't have much money to go home at the end of the year. Because staying in one place for a few days or months or months is the kind of wandering. As soon as he said this, his mother said, "Whatever it is, he was like this when he was young", "This kind of person is out of this house, and his grandfather is not like this".

And when encountering problems, it is not to find a way to solve it, but to escape cold violence, and the mobile phone is equivalent to being scrapped and missing. Look at how heartwarming and hateful the life of the daughter-in-law who married into his family.

I just, my parents don't get along with each other for a day, my dad looks for it outside, and my mom is angry. Anyway, it's just for the sake of the child, when I was a child, I sympathized with my mother, I felt that my family was too bad, and I grew up to give my mother tens of thousands of dollars a year, and she in turn vented her feelings on my daughter, alas, very helpless, and after a long time, I feel that poor people must have something to hate.

You can get rid of the family of origin ......I don't owe anyone more.

Before I was a teenager, I was afraid of them arguing. As an adult, I was afraid of them fighting, because I couldn't stop them from hitting each other, especially my mother, who was thousands of kilometers away. She has always played the weak side in these wars, and I am afraid that my father will fight my mother and my brother will be too young to stop him.

I hated myself, why did I go to school in a foreign country, why did I apply for a foreign university, why I couldn't stay at home, and sometimes I hated myself for why I went to college, why I could stay with them if I didn't go to college, at least I could persuade them when we quarreled. The word "fear" has never been far away from me, nor has it been far away from my younger brother, I feel sorry for him, he has lived in such a family environment since he was born, at least I have had a happy family atmosphere for 3 years. I always encourage myself, I have to work hard, I have to give my brother a good life, I have to take him away from this family atmosphere, I have to re-establish his understanding of the family.

The ripple effect caused by the events came together.

I don't dare to contact better people, and I feel that I can't match each other. Afraid of being disliked.

My dad is machismo, thinks that women should wash clothes and cook, three from four virtues, he is also patriarchal, he thinks that it is useless to have my daughter, he will marry in the future, he is lazy, he doesn't like to work, I fought with him once because of this, and then we didn't talk for almost two years, I hate him very much, I have felt very unfortunate since I was a child, I don't know what I did wrong, why I am always so unlucky.

Hate, hate why such parents should form a family.

I was cheated by my father, but there are many psychological groups that understand such parents, I don't know if I am sick or they are sick and half angry.

I sincerely hope that all parents in the world can create a happy and warm original family for their children, instead of letting them live in the cold from an early age.

This experience is very bad, you will often feel very irritable, and you will often feel very upset, and you will often feel very unhappy, so I think the influence of a family of origin on you is very great.

This experience is really very sad, because the situation of my family of origin will be contagious to me, and it will also bring some negative effects to myself, and it will also affect my future life.

You can't afford to change others, and you can't convince your parents to change! All you can do is be strong and have the right to decide! And resolutely protect their lives and future lives have no intersection with the original family!

In addition to the New Year's holidays, normal etiquette and filial piety, greetings with red envelopes every three or five times, and not to let the bad original family interfere in their own family and life, it is the wisest!

It is a very painful experience, and it will leave a very deep psychological shadow on yourself, which will make you feel very inferior.

The family of origin is a sociological concept, and the pinyin is yuán shēng jiā tíng. It refers to the family where the children are not married and still live with their parents, and the new family is the family formed by the husband and wife, such a family does not include the parents of both husband and wife, each family is systematically arranged, and the family is divided into the original family and the new family. The family of origin and the new family are a set of relative concepts.

1.It is impossible for people to have no emotional needs from the experience of being at home, for example: those from insecure families want to find security in their spouses.

2.When we choose a mate, we want to emotionally get the needs that we don't get in our family of origin, such as: the affirmation of our parents, the need to feel unique, etc.

3.We all carry these unfinished emotional baggage with us that we hope to be resolved in a new marriage or family.

4.If we can't get the satisfaction of the family in our original family, we will only care about what we want, and we will not be able to pay for the choice of mate. Although this view is a bit pessimistic, if we have the courage to face the problems of our original family, we will have a new motivation to love again.

5.Relationship problems are mostly due to unresolved knots in the family of origin, and more often than years old because of a lack of commitment, care and love. This view may carry understanding and hope, but of course, it does not encourage you to blame your family of origin, but encourages you to face up to the problems left by your family.

It is said that the original family is terrible because of the fact that it will bring the bad foil of the original family into the regenerative family.

Subconsciously impose the injuries you suffered when you were a child on your children, simply saying that your father beats you, you hit your children, and your children will beat his children in the future, and so on from generation to generation.

Because the negative behavior patterns of many parents in the family of origin are persistent and always dominate the lives of their children.

1. "Parents are all over the world", this type of parents create a false impression of "perfection" in front of their children, making them think that everything they do is "for their own good".

2. "Incompetent parents", this type of parents only care about their own feelings and ignore the real feelings of their children. And the impact they have on children is subtle and difficult to define, and children don't feel cared for by them.

3. "Manipulative parents", there are two types of parents in this category, one is direct control, and the other is clever control. The parent who is in direct control is simply and rudely intimidating and threatening the child, and the parent who is skillfully controlling will dictate the things in the child's life and arrange them clearly.

4. "Alcoholic parents", everyone should know this type of parents, that is, they like to drink. There are three types of activities among members living with alcoholics: alcoholics denying their alcoholism, alcoholics' spouses denying the existence of problems, and family members defending alcoholics as if no one in the family was alcoholic.

5. "Physical abusive parents", some parents in this category think that their children are born to abuse themselves, and some are immature and like to be honest with their children. Some are influenced by their own parents and treat their children the way their parents treat them.