What is it like to be afraid of marriage?

Although my father wanted someone to be by my side, he wanted me to be happy. Because I saw the tragedy of too many people getting married, I began to get more and more afraid of getting married.

At this age, he is actually still a child at heart, very immature, and he doesn't have the ability to support a family. After getting married, you will find that the gap is too big for what you imagined, and you are busy working all day long for the livelihood of the family, and while your friends are playing outside. So what should you do at any age, don't get in touch with marriage too early, it's normal to be afraid of marriage now, and when you reach that time in a few years, your mood will change, and you won't be afraid of marriage.

Probably what most people are afraid of is the essence of marriage. All I fear is the form of marriage, and the social pressures that come with it. I don't know how many people are like me.

I'm not afraid of promises, I'm not afraid of responsibility, and I'm not afraid of that six-dollar red book and the contract behind it. But I'm still scared. I don't know why there is so much mess in what should be a simple thing like marriage.

Maybe you've seen a bad married life around you, maybe you've just tasted love, maybe you're not so yearning for married life, maybe the other party puts too much pressure on you and makes you stop. When I was 20 years old, I was also afraid of getting married, because I felt that I might not be able to take on the responsibility of getting married, and when I got married, it was no longer one person, but one family, two families, or even three families! In marriage, there are too many things to consider and too many responsibilities to consider.

And I am a person who does not want to change, I don't like to change my original life status, I don't want to go to a strange family life, call two strangers as parents, and have a related vote of relatives to call me.

Part of the reason why I am really afraid of marriage is that I think that marriage is a complete failure model, that few marriages have happy results, that it restricts people's freedom and does not respect human nature itself, and that it will inevitably die out in the future.

Commute to and from work every day. When I take a break, I do what I love, and that's the life I want to live. I don't want to go, cook for anyone's clothes, and do housework for him to become a yellow-faced woman.

I've also been on a blind date a few times, under my father's pressure, but none of them are satisfactory to me, and I don't like them. I've been in a couple of relationships myself. One of the most unforgettable passages talks about getting married.

I'm really going to marry him, whether it's his character, looks, or work, I like it. When he came to the door to propose, my father said that the bride price he gave was too small and he would not let me marry him. I really wanted to be with him, but I didn't dare to disobey my father.

I've been a good girl since I was a child, and there was a person at work who confessed to me, she was white and fat, and she was very energetic, and I heard that she could cook, but I didn't want to get married anymore. No one can move my heart anymore, and I don't want to fall in love with anyone.

It's my boyfriend lying next to me snoring, and I'm very sober to search for things about fear of marriage. I'm afraid he'll make a vow at the wedding, but talk about divorce after marriage. I'm afraid that every impulsive argument we have now will turn into a nightmare for our children after marriage.

The common manifestation of marital phobia should be that marriage, in fact, including the establishment of a stable spousal relationship, will show more obvious avoidance and avoidance attitudes and behaviors, and even avoid discussing some topics related to marriage. If you have to face some problems with filial piety, you will have a nervous and anxious experience, which should be a common manifestation of marriage phobia. Of course, there may still be great individual differences in the specific circumstances of an individual's fear of marriage, and it is clear that it is prudent to treat it differently.

If the fear of marriage is based on some practical problems, such as real life conditions, material conditions or other objective conditions can not be met, or can not meet their own expectations, and the avoidance and evasion of marriage. In this case, it is necessary to adjust some understanding and awareness of reality to deal with it accordingly, and some people have a fear of marriage phobia because they are nervous and afraid of establishing close interpersonal relationships with others. If you think this is a problem that needs to be solved, you should receive professional assessment and help.

Fear of marriage is a kind of psychology that does not want to enter the state of marriage for some reasons, and this reason mainly includes the unhappiness of the original family, the poor economic situation, and the desire not to lose freedom.

"Marital phobia" is a long-term, abnormal, and unrealistic fear of marriage or intimacy.

As for why there is a fear of marriage, there are the following psychological reasons:

1) Trauma in childhood.

Every kind of constant intimidation can be found in the final analysis, in the past, in childhood.

It is generally believed in modern science that fear of a thing can be traced back to external trauma and internal heredity.

The reason why marriage-phobes are full of fear of marriage is probably because most of them have been hurt by their parents and family in childhood, and they are extremely unconfident in marriage and do not believe in love.

Marriage-phobic people often say that they are emotionally traumatized or have the shadow of their parents' marriage breaking down.

Therefore, many people are afraid that they will have the same experience as their original family in marriage. Therefore, the fear of contact with the opposite sex and the fear of establishing intimate relationships is actually a manifestation of insecurity and fear of abandonment.

2) Don't dare to face responsibility.

Many people have been single for a long time, feel free, do not get married, have no children, and have no constraints.

In fact, it's not that they really hate marriage, it's just that there are too many unknown variables hidden in marriage, which they really can't accept and passively change.

What's more, it's easy to fall in love and difficult to get married, there are no economic conditions, few people dare to get married, the pressure is too great, it's too scary.

In the traditional ideology of the Chinese people, marriage is to perpetuate hope and pass on the lineage. There are only melons and seeds, and there are no children and melons, and the overwhelming response to married life has discouraged many people.

All of this is really just two words: "escape".

People who dare not get married because they are afraid or avoid it have also become part of the army of marriage-phobia, simply because they do not want to take responsibility for themselves.

In the end, they may not be able to withstand the strong demands of their relatives and find someone to marry hastily, but most of those marriages end in unhappiness.

3) Fear that there is no love in the marriage.

Would you choose a relationshipless marriage?

I'm sure many people's answer is no!

A marriage without love is even hard to speak, and getting along without feelings is a dream along with a bed.

It is always said that marriage is the grave of love. This quote also serves as a reason for an ideal lover to refuse to marry in pursuit of true love.

How easy it is to fall in love! The happiness of the two people is pure and beautiful, not mixed with all kinds of trivial things in life, and it does not involve the details between the two families. It's just that two people have come together because of feelings and hormones.

But this is not a fear of marriage, it is a fear of growing up.

Fear of marriage may be due to the shadow of the family of origin, fear of taking responsibility, fear of losing freedom, or it may simply be a common anxiety before marriage.

1.The shadow of the family of origin.

People whose parents are unhappy in their marriage are prone to fear marriage, because they have witnessed their parents' unhappy marriage since childhood, and they are worried that they will repeat the mistakes of the past, and they have no confidence in marriage, but at the same time they desire marriage and are in conflict every day.

2.Fear of taking responsibility.

Marriage is different from love, it is not a game of playing house, you need to bear your own responsibilities and obligations, and immature people just want to play, do not want to be responsible, when the responsibility of marriage and family is about to fall on themselves, fear will naturally arise in the heart.

3.Fear of losing freedom.

People who pursue freedom are also prone to fear marriage, and are used to living a life of no one to take care of, and once they want to enter into marriage, they feel bound and lose their freedom.

4.Common anxiety.

When the marriage period is coming, people with marriage phobia will always be cranky, imagining that their marriage is unhappy, and even have the idea of breaking up, in fact, this is a common phenomenon, because in the face of major changes in life stages, it is normal for people to temporarily have an uncertain sense of anxiety about their future life.

The reasons for the fear of marriage are:

1. The economic situation is related to the situation, 2. It is related to the way the individual looks at things, 3. It is related to the emotional foundation of both parties, 4. The Shihong family, 5. The personality of the individual, for example, some people are easy to be anxious and prone to gains and losses.

There are usually several factors that contribute to marital fear.

The first is caused by factors related to family relationships. Such factors are mainly due to the divorce of parents, or the poor living conditions of parents, which have left a shadow on their childhood, forming a fear and sensitivity to life.

The second is the frustration of emotional experience. Such a factor is usually due to the fact that I did not handle and grasp the previous relationship well.

Third, the influence of surrounding environmental factors. Before everyone enters marriage, they are affected by the life concept of the people around them, and then they become the standard of their own life in the future, when the surrounding environment is full of bad feelings and marriages, full of bad thoughts and life attitudes, they will fear that they will encounter the same thing in the future.

Fourth, a relationship is not yet mature. Such factors are usually that a relationship has just started and has not yet really understood each other comprehensively, but it is subject to the pressure of age and relatives around you, resulting in the choice of entering marriage when the relationship is not mature.

Expert tip: The cause of marital phobia may be because of the unhappiness of one's original family and the disharmony of the relationship between parents, which causes psychological shadows; Have had a failed emotional experience; Influenced by the perception of the destruction of the lives of those around them; A relationship has not yet reached the stage of maturity before entering the choice of marriage. It is recommended that patients look at examples of family happiness and change their perception of marriage.

What is the main reason why you feel afraid of marriage? Although marriage is more of a symbol of love in most people, there are also some people who have a resistance to marriage and think that marriage is the grave of love. I am afraid that after marriage, the relationship between the two people will fade.

This is also the reason why the rate of marriage in society has been greatly reduced. Let's take a look, what are the ** of marriage phobia?

First of all, the rebellious psychology caused by the urging of relatives and friends may be such a group of people in life, they have reached the age of marriage and children, but they are not willing to get married so early? Therefore, there will be a lot of relatives and friends on the side. But in fact, this age not only does not play a role in supervision, but also makes people have a very strong sense of resistance, which will trigger the appearance of marriage phobia over time.

Another is the fear of not being able to balance work and family. This disease comes from most women, after all, it is now a society that pays attention to equality between men and women, whether it is a man or a woman, they need a job to support themselves, but after getting married, they will face children and children, and their work will be suspended, and if they are not handled well, their careers will be affected, so many women will have fear of marriage because of the poor balance between family and work. Yards are more than enough.