H little jokes or stories

I have the impression that the class leader in elementary school was extremely serious, and in a self-study class, the classroom was full of people, and the class leader finally couldn't bear it anymore after maintaining order several times, stood up and slapped the table and roared: Who is noisy again, break his mouth!! The class was silent.

When I went to buy pastries, I originally wanted to say "two pineapple pies and an egg tart", but it turned out to be "two oriole egg tarts", and what was even more frustrating was that the shopkeeper actually understood ......

There was a time when there was a mouse-like problem at home, and my mother bought rat medicine to maintain family peace, but none of the rats were poured. Early one day, my mother got up and looked at the mouse medicine in the door, and said to herself, "Why doesn't anyone take this medicine?" "The whole family fainted......

Playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so I had to buy candles and continue fighting. After half an hour, it was so hot that I couldn't stand it, and one person said, "Let's turn on the electric fan, it's hot." Another person said: "You can't open it, you will blow out the candle when it is opened." ”

In physics class, the teacher talked about radioactive elements and said, "Radioactive elements are dangerous, you humans must stay away from them!" ”

When I returned to the dormitory for self-study in the evening, I met a fairy mm on the road, so I followed, and I always wanted to talk, but I didn't have the courage to step forward, until Tianxian mm was about to enter the girls' building, gritted his teeth, stepped forward, and asked the mm loudly: "Classmate, are you a woman?" "Later, ......Later, I enjoyed the white eyes of the fairy mm for two years.

When I was a child, my dad watched me write essays. There was a very simple mistake, and my father smiled and said to my mother, "I found your son to be stupid." I was anxious and said loudly to my father, "Your son is stupid!" ”

When the director of our high school office once again angrily scolded us for not listening well in class, he said: "If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for turning my face and not being human!" ”

1. The shortest love philosophy**: "Should you marry me?" Nope. So they went on to live happily ever after.

3. The British "Daily Mirror" held a "three-character **" essay contest, and the first place was "God is dying" (God is dying).

4. In recent years, China's most wonderful realism**, the full text is eight words: Here there are many people who are stupid and come quickly (Note: It is said to be a short postscript on the remittance slip of a rental house under Baobao Mountain in Hangzhou, which was scribbled by the massage girl when she sent money to her hometown sister, which made countless professional writers ashamed!)

5. The shortest ** in ancient times is Tao Yuanming's "Fallen Thief" of the Jin Dynasty, the full text is as follows: Cai Yi has courage and his voice is like thunder. There are two thieves entering the room, and the descendants are attached to the bed, and the two thieves are falling.

360 Reader.com.

One day, the kangaroo was driving around the country road, and suddenly saw the little white rabbit on the road**, with his ears and body lying almost completely on the ground as if listening to something.

Thereupon. The kangaroo stopped the car and asked curiously, "Little White Rabbit, may I ask what you are listening to?" ”

Half an hour ago, a large truck passed by.

Wow. So godly ..How do you know ?..

He's xx! That's how my neck and legs broke. ”

Classmates get married and have a treat.

A colleague complained: "You say it's funny or not, just a classmate, who usually doesn't even fight **, and now he is getting married, and he sent an invitation yesterday and asked me to give a gift." Isn't this an obvious scam of money? ”

Someone said: "My classmates invited you to get married, didn't they want to communicate with you about their love?" How do you think about money alone? ”

Do you know what it is? I learned to drive at a driving school for three days! ”

Go to the encyclopedia of troubles and pack you to be satisfied.