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In fact, this problem is mainly because you close your heart, because from childhood to adulthood, the feelings of your parents have been imperceptibly used as an example of your own perception of feelings, especially when you are a child, because you don't understand it, so you are the most susceptible, but when you grow up, you will understand more things and slowly understand other feelings. But if you still have a psychological shadow, you are still afraid that your love life is the same as that of your parents, this is very serious, the first thing you must do is to take the first step so that you can accept the love of others.
When others show you favor, you may feel very uncomfortable or scared, but because of this, you need to change yourself, let yourself slowly accept their good, or try to understand them, don't always turn them away, so that you can never fall in love. When you understand, you will know in your heart whether this person is what you like or is suitable for yourself, if you feel that you like you, you will slowly give your feelings under the effect of time, and slowly rely on him as a friend, at this time you are half of the success.
The next thing you need is courage, you have to give yourself enough courage to try to promise him anything, how do you know if it's good if you don't try, don't think too much in your heart, put too much pressure on yourself, you can think about giving it a try, if you can, you can be together, you can't separate, it's not a big deal. After you succeed in being together, you will find that it is really not a big deal, the most important thing for two people to fall in love is to be happy, not to mention that falling in love is not the same as getting married, marriage is the integration of two families, and after marriage, all kinds of trivial things in life may overwhelm you.
So it's not difficult to fall in love, but in my opinion, you will be a little afraid to escape from marriage in the future, you can go to see a psychiatrist, otherwise it will be a little late to see it when you get married in the future, which is likely to make you miss your love, and now the number of divorced people in this era is also increasing, so I want to open some, since it is not suitable, then separate the world, so big, there will always be a suitable one, a person will live happily at once.
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Your parents don't represent you, their relationship is not good may be due to the reasons of that era, in the past, it was the words of the parents between men and women, so after becoming a family, I felt that there was only responsibility and no love.
You haven't reached the age of marriage yet, but there is nothing you dare to fall in love, you should comfort yourself like this, if you are really not suitable, you can break up, not once you fall in love, you have to get married.
Falling in love is originally to plan for marriage, let you see what type you like, and what kind of person you want to accompany you through your life in your married life, which is the essence of love. So you don't have to be scared at all.
When a person who really loves you and the person you love appears, you will feel extremely happy, and he can share everything for you, life is not easy, how good it would be to have one more person to share.
In your spare time, you can talk to your parents about why their marriage is the way it is. And said that you are also a little afraid of falling in love, mothers generally tell their children that they need to respect those rules when falling in love and getting married, but they are not so sad.
It is said that love is sweet, look at the people around you, how happy they are after finding their partner, who is not eager to have someone cook at home after work and wait for you to come home, and enjoy the sweetness of love together.
Love is your own business, it has nothing to do with others, others are happy or unhappy, it has nothing to do with you, you see that others are unhappy and should work hard to make your love better, the person you love will not love you, love is relative, cherish the people around you.
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First of all, I think the first thing is that you need to establish a good mentality, I think if you don't have a good mentality, you want to fall in love, in fact, it is very unfavorable to yourself, and there is the influence of your parents, so at this time you can only establish a good mentality for yourself, so that when you go to fall in love, you will be more serious, so I think at this time you can seriously analyze why this situation occurs between your parents, and then you go to fall in love, and then avoid these problems. It will also be a good way for you to do it. <>
After having a good mentality, I will communicate well with your parents, because your parents only know your own needs, so I think that at this time, you still need to be Lingren, so at this time, you will get a lot of things by communicating with your parents, although they may be very bad emotionally, but in fact, they may not regret their choice, so I think at this time you go to have a good communication with your parents, I found that in fact, many times the relationship is really difficult to figure out, So you don't need to do much to communicate with them at this time.
Many times you can solve many problems easily, thinking that after you communicate with them, you will actually have your own opinion on this matter, and then you choose to fall in love, you can better avoid these problems, and then you must solve some problems together, because in this way the relationship between you will get better and better rather than worse, so I think at this time you must have a good attitude to fall in love, Because you don't have a good attitude, in fact, if you want to have a good result between you, it's impossible.
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Just because their marriage is bad doesn't mean your future marriage will be as bad as theirs.
In fact, you don't have to be afraid at all, because your parents' life is through blind dates, to solve the marriage matter, because both parties do not understand each other, so it is inevitable that there will be some bumps and bumps in daily life, but in our generation are free love, we will understand each other's personality and usual personality if we are sure to be a good person, we will marry him and start a lifetime of life.
But it can't be said that people who are in free love, after getting married, there will be no quarrels, there will be no ups and downs, in fact, after getting married, every husband and wife will have a little ups and downs, there will be some quarrels, but the size of the problem I used to be the same as you, and I was also very afraid of falling in love, because I was afraid of meeting a man like my father.
My dad is very stubborn, and insecure, sometimes I don't know why my mom married my dad in the first place, I feel that my dad has never given my mom a sense of security in his life and has never given my mom a little bit of romance, no matter what the holiday, my dad will never be as responsible as other men to buy a gift for mom.
And my dad was very machismo. My dad always felt that washing clothes, cooking and taking care of children at home were all things that a woman should do, and never helped my mother, so my mother often told us that she had never been happy or happy in the more than ten years since she married my father, and she was very tired every day, because the work in the countryside was also very heavy, and my mother was exhausted every day.
Seeing my parents like this, I was really afraid of marriage because I was also afraid that I would meet a man like my father in the future, but it turned out that after I got married, my husband treated me very well, although he was young and didn't do much, but at least he would help me do housework and take care of the children together.
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The relationship between parents is very bad, of course, the relationship pattern in daily life may make you feel that the relationship between men and women cannot be very pleasant, can not bring real happiness, if you fall in love, you may be like them, get unhappy and unhappy.
So you will not dare to fall in love because of the relationship between your parents, which is understandable, because, what you see, the relationship is like that, a lot of benign relationships, you don't see.
When a person's knowledge is limited, his experience will become all he knows, and it will become a fixed concept in his mind, and I hope you can break the shackles of this fixed concept.
Not every family is like this, many people are very harmonious between husband and wife, and the life of two people is very happy. People are very loyal to each other, and two people have a heart-to-heart relationship with each other, help each other, care for each other, and develop their careers together.
You can learn more about the family model with a very good relationship, interact more with people from such a family, and you can also directly identify your target object as a person with a very harmonious family relationship. <>
If you are dating someone with a very good family relationship, the interaction patterns brought by him will be of great help to you, and can also help you jump out of your own family circle and feel some harmonious relationship between men and women.
In addition, people must learn to be brave and strong, and some things must always be brave to take the first step to try. Feelings are not all hurt, really good feelings are a cup of warm tea, a cup of warm water, not a piece of cold ice. I believe that I can find the right good feelings for myself.
In fact, the relationship between your parents is not good, and it may be a good thing for you. Because their relationship is not good, you see it in the eye, so you will allow yourself to avoid such a relationship later. There will be a pattern of seeking, positive, positive and warm relationships and interactions.
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When it comes to the problem of my parents' bad love life, I have a lot of say.
When I was a child, my parents lived in different places, my father and I lived together, my sister lived with my mother, and later after I had a younger brother, my sister and I lived with my father, and my brother lived with my mother. In my impression, when my parents are away from home, they have a good relationship, even if my mother often does something out of the ordinary, my father can tolerate it. Later, when our family got together to live together, it was okay at first, but after a long time, my parents had a small quarrel for three days and a big quarrel for five days.
Mom is a person with a very regular schedule, she gets up early every morning, and when we are still sleeping, we will hear my mother arguing and scolding. Later, after a long time, as long as I slept in the morning, I would have a headache when I heard the noise, so I didn't wake everyone up, and I got up early no matter how sleepy I was. However, many things still left a shadow in my heart, including falling in love and getting married.
Since my parents got married on a blind date when my father was older, I refused any form of blind date, and refused to marry because of any conditions, such as old age, good match, suitable and a series of words. I don't dare to fall in love here because I am afraid of the constraints of rules and regulations, and I will find the wrong person to marry.
Of course, I also yearn to fall in love and feel the care between couples. So I always watch a lot of unrealistic TV series in the comedy genre, from which I feel the perfection of love and the happiness of others; Attend other people's weddings to witness other people's happiness, find the antidote to fear and love, see other people's cute babies, feel the magic of new life and so on. However, it has not solved the fact that I am afraid of falling in love now.
Later, I figured it out, and if I didn't fall in love, maybe I didn't meet the right person. When you don't encounter it, you still feel at ease to be yourself, go with the flow, and don't deliberately ask yourself to change. Maybe after a certain experience, you will calmly find a partner and fall in love.
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At first glance, I felt like I had found organization.
That's right, I'm like this too, since I was in junior high school, my parents' love life has been very bad, especially when my dad gambled big and lost a lot of money during the Chinese New Year, their relationship has become more and more delicate, and many times they quarrel when my brother and I can't see each other.
Until our whole family knew that after the two of them divorced, they were more obvious or more open, they used to be small, they didn't dare to quarrel in front of us, now everyone knows, and we have grown up, it is completely exposed, every day, it is not so exaggerated, as long as there is something at home, they quarrel at home, and they usually don't say anything, I think the family is so melancholy, the air pressure is so low, many times I don't want to stay at home, I want to escape all this.
Especially when my family first learned about their divorce, they even threw a wine bottle for it, and I was only in my second year of junior high school at that time, and I was even a little scared.
So much so that when I attended my relatives' wedding receptions in the future, I wondered if they were willing and whether there would be problems in the future. Especially in the past few years, I have often seen their parents quarrel at the banquet because of the dowry, and the banquet has just begun! Is it necessary?
I don't understand, it makes me a little disgusted with marriage, and even a little bit of a disbelief in love.
However, I sometimes see some people who live happily, they don't have these twists and turns, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is also very good, and the marriage is also very beautiful, which makes me look forward to it a little. There are good examples and bad examples around me.
In short, everyone in the world has it, you don't have to take it out of context because of one or two bad examples, choose your own style of life, choose the second half of your life, see the right person in the right eye, just let it go, don't let the shadow fill your eyes, miss a beautiful second half of your life.
Xie Xian, Zhang Ziyi, they have dated a lot of people, and their relationship history is relatively rich.
Don't be so negative, a relationship has no result, it means that the two of you are destined, your one may also be waiting for you in another place, you must know that life has a long time, I have several at the same time as you are the same age, and they are not married. But there is one thing you also have to reflect on yourself, whether you have a bad temper, or no temper, you have to brush a little temper with your boyfriend appropriately, life can't be as calm as water, then the relationship will not be constant. But the temper can't be too big, too much pressure will give people, and over time it will cause the other party's disgust.
Your parents' choices are safer.
Let's put it this way: What if your boyfriend graduates in 2 years and he looks for a job, maybe he has to go out of town? If he doesn't go to another country, you limit his development, and if you go to a foreign country, you may have problems with your relationship. >>>More
In the emotional life, women often have no sense of security, so as a man, you must let women find you all the time, so that women will have a good sense of security, otherwise they will play all kinds of TV series in their brains.
I don't think it's worth marrying, it's sweet when you're not married, you're reluctant to part with each other, and the man who ignores you before you're married won't be good to you after marriage, so it's not worth marrying.