Junior high school students who leave messages on a business trip to commit suicide are character de

<> primary and secondary schools have just finished their final exams in the past few days, and the winter vacation is coming soon. Due to unsatisfactory grades, Xiaoxuan, a 12-year-old girl, left home with a letter about "suicide", in which she said: "Mom and Dad, I'm sorry!

This time, I did a bad job in the final exam, so bad that I couldn't even accept ......After thinking about it for a long time, I finally made up my mind, I left, suicide, death, this is the decision I have been thinking about for a long time, and it is also my last decision......”

Fortunately, the parents found out and called the police in time, and the police finally found Xiaoxuan and appeased Xiao Xuan in a bookstore through a "dragnet" investigation.

In recent years, there have been frequent social news about teenage children committing suicides, and the reason for this is that on the one hand, the child's personality problem, and on the other hand, it is also a stress problem. In the final analysis, it is a lesson in children's education that is not in place, especially "life education".

The most precious thing for a person is life", I wonder if there is still this sentence in the current student textbooks? What kind of "frustration education" is there in schools and families? ...If there is no strong heart, if the psychology is fragile, it is easy to have the idea of "not living" and "big deal to die", it is difficult to guarantee that they will give up their lives when they encounter what situation, when they are young, because of bad grades, they may not be able to work well or be criticized when they grow up, and even may encounter lovelorn and marriage changes in marriage and family life, betrayal, etc., a person who does not have a passion for "life" can easily go to "death".

Also, do they really understand the consequences of suicide?

On the one hand, textbooks should have corresponding guidance, and on the other hand, parents also need to pay attention to the cultivation of children's character. Habit experts say: "Thoughts determine behavior, behavior determines habits, habits determine character, and character determines destiny."

In the final analysis, it is a question of ideology and guidance. And what kind of character you have determines the fate of your child's life.

Stress is definitely there, and the key is how to look at it. The pressure of a moment or a thing may not be a big deal to look at it from an outsider's perspective, look at it in the future, or even look at it every other day.

Be sure to tell your children that life may be really not easy, and it is easy to leave, but you will forever lose the opportunity to grow up, the opportunity to flop, the opportunity to accompany your parents to grow old, and the opportunity to live your own wonderful life......

How good it is to be alive.

It's a lot of pressure, and it's also a lack of resistance to frustration.

Today's children have too much homework, are under pressure to study, and don't have time to play.

I'll take a look at our second-grade children's winter vacation homework. In addition to the homework in the winter vacation homework book, the child has to write a diary every day and write an ancient poem silently every day. This is a preferential treatment that students with slightly better grades can get.

Students with poor grades also have to copy five new words and one text every day.

Please remember that this is the winter vacation homework for the second grade of elementary school. <>

Think about when we were children, just after the winter vacation to write homework, and before school started, we made up another homework and got it done. You can go wild outside every day after that.

The girl in the news is a junior high school student who usually has good academic performance, but this time she ran away from home without getting a satisfactory score at the end of the semester.

Although parents used to ask their children to get into a good high school, giving their children a certain amount of pressure. However, I feel that a considerable part of the girl's stress comes from herself.

The more students with good grades, the more likely they are to be under pressure from themselves.

I have a female colleague whose children have very good grades, and every time they finish the exam, they don't compare themselves with others.

If you don't get the score you want in a class, you may lose sleep all night, which will seriously affect the next exam.

Once we had dinner with a colleague, and one of the colleague's children came over, and the colleague went back. She wants to comfort the child and do a good job of psychological counseling, because the child failed the chemistry test.

Good children are sometimes more psychologically fragile than children with poor grades, and what parents of these children need to do is not to put pressure on them, but to relieve their children's psychological pressure.

Because good children pursue progress on their own, the motivation is internal. If parents put more pressure, it can crush the child.

The parents of this girl are advised not to mention the matter of getting into a good high school, because such a girl knows it in her heart. In addition, the girl's parents should spend more time with the child, give the child more encouragement, and help her let go of stress.

First of all, let's look at the background of the child's runaway: it was a poor test. If the test is bad, I don't know if it's the kind of "performance abnormality" that we conclude is much worse than usual, or if the score itself is not good-looking, and it is always not good-looking.

But one result is certain: a low score.

Children are afraid to face their parents, teachers, or even themselves because of their low scores. I thought, maybe that's the real reason for his exodus? So, what is the child's fear of facing the back?

If it is the parents and teachers who dare not face it, perhaps, it is the parents' punishment and the teacher's denial of the TA, the child can't afford it, if it can't face himself, then is the whole social environment for the singleness of the evaluation criteria for "excellent students" caused pressure on him? Under this evaluation standard, this child may be classified as "not doing well", that is, not excellent. And this is the real pressure that today's children have to face, this pressure, children basically can't dissipate, only "rely on facts to speak", this "fact", is the score!

Yes, this time, the scores were so low that the child could not face himself, his family and his teachers.

So, why did he threaten to commit suicide? I think maybe he's protecting himself. In the face of multiple predictable negativity, we can avoid it in other ways, such as:

My life is in danger. All he could think of was that in the face of life safety, probably, no one would care about his low score anymore. At the end of this message, you may also see the child's own reaction to this score, and he thinks "I'm going to kill myself".

Space is limited, my attitude is: the child must have the child's suffering, even if his score is very low, but there is nothing that can compete with life, and life is equivalent. When a child encounters a low score and even leaves a message to commit suicide, I think, can parents review their home education?

I think it's more appropriate to focus on ourselves rather than on our children.

Figure Network. Slow down, heart life, I am Jiang Min, a psychological counselor, and I am willing to work with you to find the original intention of life.

To evaluate whether it is a character flaw or stress, I think this should be combined with his usual relationships and communication with friends and relatives at school and at home.

Because it's just that you didn't do well in the exam, there's no need to say that you're going to commit suicide! If his family didn't pay much attention to this achievement, he wouldn't have committed suicide. <>

It may also be because of the indirect factors of friends or family around him that he is particularly interested in his grades, so he will say that he does not want to live if he does not do well in the exam.

I think this can show that there are still big problems in China's exam-oriented education at this stage from another angle. It will give people the illusion that if they do not do well in the exam, it means that the person is very useless, which leads to a lot of stress. The junior high school students who failed the exam and were about to commit suicide only showed this phenomenon more vividly.

Also, I think this junior high school student has both stress and personality flaws, because if a person with a more open-minded personality would not commit suicide because of stress! They will choose their own way to decompress. For example, when I'm stressed, I never think about self-harm or suicide, I will find a quiet place to take a walk and think about my shortcomings as I walk.

Today's children have to endure not only the pressures that come with at home, but also the pressures that come with school. Children in the eyes of parents hope that Jackie Chan will become a phoenix, and let their children work hard to lay the foundation for a better life in the future.

In addition to asserting their children's efforts on grades and big lists, parents will not care too much about anything else. As long as the grades are good and the ranking goes up, it is hard to learn, and on the contrary, it is greedy for fun, not learning.

If the child does not do well in the exam, he is afraid of taking the report card to his parents, afraid of seeing the disappointment in the eyes of his parents, recalling that his parents worked hard to raise him to study, but now his grades are not satisfactory, and living is a drag and endless disappointment to give back to his parents, and he can't bear the pressure from all parties and finally wants to commit suicide.

The most terrible thing is the character flaws of the child itself. If you really have it, you have to pay attention to it, and if you have it once, you will have the next time. Children sometimes do not fully release the pressure, which will lead to a sudden change in personality, and over time there will be differences from other children.

Character flaws are serious and bad, withdrawn, dark, distorted, etc., will erupt next time the pressure is exerted to a certain extent, because it is not without a source to run away from home and leave a message for suicide.

Parents should not put too much pressure on their children, but also let their children grow up healthily in a happy, sunny and positive environment, and enlighten their children from time to time about the importance of life and cherishing life.

I think it's really stressful, because today's students don't have time to play when they come home from school, and they have to do their homework after eating, so there is really little time.

Exams are also commonplace for them, but some parents may have too high requirements for them, and they will scold their children if they don't do well in the exam, and if they do well in the exam, parents will happily encourage their children. In fact, I personally think that since your child has gone through psychological pressure, especially for the exam, as a parent, you must always enlighten your child from the heart, and don't let your child have too much pressure, so that when the child really takes the college entrance examination, the exam room will be nervous, so that it will play abnormally.

So parents should not put too much pressure on their children, and now there are fewer cases of suicide because of the high pressure on children, which has not sounded the alarm for parents. No matter what kind of work a child does in the future, he or she can live for a lifetime. So the kids are really stressed.

In fact, according to the college entrance examination in recent years, candidates feel that they are useless because of poor exams, and they do not have the face to see their parents who have so much expectations of themselves, and it is not a matter of time or twice that they choose to commit suicide. I think there must be flaws in the candidate's personality, and of course the pressure is not only given by parents and teachers, but also given by oneself.

Junior high school students are very sensitive and vulnerable, and they usually accept the concept that you must study hard, you must be admitted to a good university, and then glorify your ancestors and so on.

Therefore, when he is poor in the exam, he will think of suicide, one is that his own psychological capacity is insufficient, and such a person will not want an employee like you when he comes out of society to be honest. The second is that the pressure from the outside world is too great, such pressure is both sweet and sad for him, and he also wants not to live up to your expectations, but the more he is afraid of something, the more he comes, so it is normal to be unable to accept it in such a situation.

I think there are two reasons for this.

Today's parents are so demanding of their children that I sometimes feel that they are working too hard, and I have a trace of sympathy. And parents not only require their children to be versatile, but also to have very good grades.

On the Internet, we will see that some parents and children will criticize if they fail to take the first test once, and some parents will praise their children for making progress just after passing the exam. What we see will be thought to be a joke, but in fact, this is ** in life, and some parents in reality are like this, maybe it's just not so exaggerated. How can a child be stressed?

So why do I say that it could be a problem of psychological defects? Because the pressure is always given to you by yourself, it is your own psychological feeling. If you don't care about your parents, you won't be stressed.

Adults are generally stressed out who know what they still need to do and how far apart they are from their reality. At the age of junior high school students, I don't think I can quite understand the ardent expectations of my parents who want their son to become a Chan. A simple child who should have been comfortable in his study and life, but chose to commit suicide, I think he should have seen a psychiatrist.

Brother, I think you learn a lot about human nature! Since you don't have a high degree of education, you must have suffered a lot, you empathize, manage people, I suggest, you manage people's hearts, grasp people's hearts, you are a successful manager!