Why are college roommates getting colder and colder among themselves?

Because you get along with each other, the contradiction comes out, because. After that, I have to talk about any problems in my life, let myself have things, have homework, become indifferent, or don't care about them, so I slowly become estranged.

College roommates and friends are two concepts. It's a blessing to be friends, but if you can't, you don't have to force it, and it's a good idea to spend your college years in harmony. And college is not like high school, life and study are so regular, dormitory cafeteria, dormitory three points and one line, college life is richer, everyone has their own things to do, everyone's frequency may be inconsistent, some things need to be done by yourself, you need to adapt to such a stage.

In fact, when I grow up more and more, I don't show my heart to outsiders, and now everyone is an adult and will not be as naïve as when I was a child, everyone has something they want to hide in their hearts.

College is not like high school, life and study are so regular, dormitory cafeteria, dormitory three points and one line running, college life is richer, everyone has their own things to do, everyone's frequency may be inconsistent, some things need to be done by themselves, you need to adapt to such a stage.

There is very little conversation between roommates, and chatting doesn't leave the school's things, let alone submit a heart-to-heart conversation. Although everyone has a mobile phone nowadays and can access the Internet to do their own things, I still don't feel comfortable with this somewhat indifferent atmosphere when I talk every night in high school. And sometimes when I talk to them or ask them something, they don't reply, and I get a little upset.

Maybe it's that there are more and more quirks between people. It's just that I think college roommates may be busy with their own things and don't communicate too much, which is why they will become more and more apathetic.

In fact, many times it should not be described as more indifferent, but because as they spend more and more time together, college roommates will become more familiar with each other, and they are usually just some daily behaviors, and they don't need to be very enthusiastic.

I didn't feel like my college roommates were getting colder and colder. When I was in college, I didn't have a very good relationship with my roommates, but I feel that after work, my relationship with my roommates will be a little closer.

I think it's just ordinary classmates living in the same room, and not all the people who get along with each other day and night are friends. Moreover, for others, it is love to be good to you, and it is duty to be bad.

Sorry for this question!

University is a semi-social group, so the people here are all adults, and they have experienced some things and understand what they want, so most of them know what to do as long as they are good (many are egoists), even if they are roommates, roommates are sometimes just roommates in college, and they can't become friends, and the thinking and ideas of two people are different from their own, even if they live in a room, it is not so easy to change the minds of others. You can't ask what you think is what he thinks, so you can't be a friend, then it's not a friend, and it's natural to be indifferent, because there is no reason.

And the university is so big, you can always find someone who shares your three views and interests, and this premise is to participate in more activities or clubs that you are interested in, where it will be easier to find the friends you want. So you don't have to worry so much about the indifference of your roommates, just don't affect others in the dormitory. Roommates are supposed to be the closest friends, but sometimes they become the most familiar strangers.

Some students do have a tendency to deviate from their sense of self, perhaps as a result of being too deeply influenced by utilitarian education. Advocating self and taking self as the core is actually a very good phenomenon, because only when you care about yourself can you care about others. However, if you care too much about yourself, you risk harming the interests of others.

Most of the students who handle interpersonal relationships more properly are classmates who are not so strong, and know some communication skills and can accommodate others, they like to help others, and often borrow textbooks and help people pick up couriers. Students need to be educated in the humanities and ethics, and they need to cultivate their minds holistically, not only with IQ, but also with emotional intelligence. However, at present, some of the school's measures to resolve contradictions remain at the level of "fake, big, and empty", which is difficult to be effective and in-depth, and often treats the symptoms but not the root cause.

I don't think college roommates are apathetic, but they don't have the patience to play with people. Their patience has been given to those who have grown up with them, so it is difficult to find friends in college, they are all general friends. The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and when they get together, they will live a good moment, and they will be fine when they disperse.

Maybe it's not that they're apathetic, but they're disappointed in something like friendship and don't want to accept new people.

I think that no matter what university you are in, the indifference of your roommates is only to stay in the absence of communication, and there will still be normal communication, and it is impossible to depress the whole dormitory. If you're uncomfortable with being cold to your college roommate, you might as well be yourself, do whatever you have to do, and go with the flow. Wasn't there a saying on the Internet that was quite popular some time ago?

Knowing that it is helpless and being at ease" means knowing that the world is difficult, helpless but able to be content with the situation and conform to nature. The metaphor refers to the helplessness and cruelty of reality, and we must face it with a peaceful mind. This can also be used to indicate the indifference of your college roommate, and since you can't change it, it's better to face it with a calm mind.

Peace of mind.

First, we need to understand what apathy is.

Explanation of psychological terms, apathy, not caring about everything, indifference is the apex of feelings.

Second, why do we think college roommates are aloof？First of all, before entering the university, we basically have a high school dormitory experience, and then, we spent three years to cultivate friendship, after graduation, was ruthlessly separated, so this experience makes the college student's mind more mature and stable, so that we will not use the eyes of a child to see the world as in the past, so that the temperament revealed by him will not be so simple.

Third, think about why college roommates are indifferent to us.

There are two points to explain about this, the first is the roommateReally indifferent。First of all, university is a place to cultivate people's interests and abilities in all aspects, it is different from high school with the same goal, there are many common communication spaces, on the contrary, it has few topics to communicate, if there are some interests of the combination, then it will not be so indifferent, for example, I am a food major, my roommate is a cosmetics major, so I want to buy cosmetics, and I will not be indifferent when interacting.

However, this is only from the perspective of goals, but from the perspective of topics, college roommates spend more time together than high school roommates, but the topics that can be talked about will not increase, so the relationship between college roommates will become as cold as passers-by due to the decrease in topics, which leads to less communication.

The second point isFalse indifference。College roommates are different from high school roommates in that they come from the same place or the same school, so each of them has a very different experience and has different feelings about different things, for example, if you have a difficulty, this difficulty needs the help of your roommate, but from the roommate's point of view, this difficulty cannot be called difficult, so you want to solve it yourself, or rather, for the roommate itself, this is not helpful, so there is no way to show how enthusiastic you are.

Finally, how to face or resolve the indifference of your roommates?

First, develop positive goals between yourself and your roommates. This goal is the key to providing a topic for communication, promoting relationships, and usually we have goals ranging from future careers to hobbies and hobbies, to the need to overcome difficulties together.

Second, take the initiative before being passive. If we want to make our roommate less indifferent, we need to open up to our roommate first and communicate with each other, so that the roommate can feel what you mean and alleviate the embarrassment of indifference.

Third, put the gap between yourself and your roommates in perspective. In many cases, indifference comes from the sense of disparity in the heart, learn to correctly analyze the reasons for the gap, and learn to narrow the gap with an open mind, when the positions of both sides are equal, indifference is not easy to see.

Fourth, cultivate an extra interest. Interest is one of the best ways to bring people into relationships. Often, some unknown interest can attract the attention of your roommate, because the other person will learn something from you based on this, which is also human instinct.

Some college students are introverted, don't like to talk, and have different ways of expression; Some college students themselves are indifferent to people and things; Some college students have opinions or prejudices about someone or something, showing an indifferent attitude, etc.

No matter what the situation is, but after all, it's your own reason. The effect of force is mutual, you treat others indifferently, and it is natural for others to be indifferent to you, and it is absolutely strange to repay grievances with virtue. In fact, meditate and think about yourself, first find fault with yourself, believe in your change, your subjectivity, your attitude, and finally change the attitude of others towards you.

College roommate relationship considerations.

1. The head of the dormitory or the core students of the dormitory must be good at mobilizing, self-deprecating, good at creating topics to create a relaxed atmosphere, and good at making fun of themselves.

2. Don't fall together with your roommates for the sake of the so-called gregariousness.

3. Laugh at yourself appropriately and create some topics.

4. Don't let your social circle be limited to the dormitory, and be in the company of excellent people, so that you can be better.

on 6 Dec 2021

I am also a post-95 college student and have graduated now. I feel that the relationship between college and high school classmates is indifferent, and now that I think there are several main reasons for this, I hope it can help you

1.Personality is caused by life attitude.

Most of the post-95 classmates are only children, and since they were young, they have to learn to play with themselves, play games by themselves, watch dramas and read books, and there are no stable friends around, and they will get used to it after a long time. Since everyone is just a friend who passes by temporarily in their life, it is natural that they no longer want to spend time with their friends. In the eyes of others, it would be too indifferent to treat friends like this, but in fact, this is the current situation of the campus, independent and distinctive.

Independent social relations.

2.Caused by different stages of life.

I've graduated now.,I feel like the best friends who played in high school and college before.,Gradually cut off contact.,Sometimes I suddenly want to get in touch with it.,It's just a few words and there's no topic.,At that time, I was confused.,Is the relationship between classmates so indifferent now?,Lost contact after graduation.。 Now that I think about it, it may be because after graduation, we are all at different stages of our lives. Some students have already worked, have new colleagues and friends, and the content of the conversation is also their own work and career; Some of them continue to study for a doctorate and enter a new environment, naturally thinking about adapting to the new environment, making more new friends, and naturally having less contact with past friends, the relationship will be indifferent.

Friends and colleagues.

Of course, although indifference in classmate relationships is already the norm, if you don't want to passively accept it, you have to make some changes on your own and give full play to your subjective initiative.

No matter how good the relationship between classmates is, you can't help but be indifferent for a long time, so you have to take the initiative to contact them. Don't let the relationship go cold from the start. Now that online social networking is so convenient, I usually share some of my trivial life, as long as I have a heart-to-heart, the other party will naturally treat each other sincerely.

Secondly, it is important not only to communicate online, but also to meet in person. High school classmates are generally in the same area, and it is very convenient to meet each other; College classmates can also go to each other's cities, take a trip, meet each other, and the relationship will naturally become closer.

Dinner with friends.

Finally, I hope you can gain a true friendship!

College roommates are very cold, on the one hand, because they are not very familiar with each other at first, and most importantly, probably because of their personalities. This is the reason why things gather like and people gather by groups.

In fact, it's not indifference, but the more people get along, the more they can't let the other party understand their temperament, otherwise it is easy to be watched and eaten.

That's why they're all wearing armor in disguise in advance.

After all, the university has to get along for four years, and it is very important to get along comfortably and together, so do a good job of everyone sitting down for a meeting, set the rules and principles of the dormitory, and must print them in black and white and paste them in a conspicuous place in the dormitory, and abide by them together.

This is very important.

Because unlike middle and high school, classmates are basically in the same place, while universities are all over the world, and they each have their own previous social circles.

There are very few contacts after college, but you are enthusiastic about them, and you just want to get the same enthusiasm from them, if you are asking for enthusiasm.

But your roommate is not your person, and she has no obligation to be enthusiastic about you, just like her family is good for you and restrains you, but in fact, you will resist.

Let go, ever since I had a falling out with a so-called friend, it's when you find out that you don't treat people with the way they treat you, it's not a good fit for the relationship. Stop the loss in time, they may also take this indifferent attitude towards you for granted, because you can't bring her long-term benefits.