Does anyone interpret this for me from a bystander s perspective?

Hello, children are most likely to be impulsive during the rebellious period. From a bystander's point of view, you're still doing well, knowing the impulse and coaxing your mother. Prove that you are able to recognize mistakes and correct them in a timely manner. Kudos to you.

This is a manifestation of typical adolescence and menopause, between parents and children, sometimes it is a very antagonistic relationship, psychologically, it may feel that I am all for your good, so you have to listen to me, which will produce all kinds of contradictions.

I don't know why you and your mother quarreled, and I don't know how far they quarreled. Since you feel that it is your own fault, should you reflect on whether your words were too aggressive when you quarreled? To be honest, I haven't seen a child describe his mother as "yin and yang", it's not that you think that as long as you apologize, as an elder, you must forgive immediately, even if it is your relative.

It's just that I think it should be that you really hurt your mother's mood, maybe she has reached menopause, so it is, but you later apologized, then this matter is already a compromise, but I think he should come to accept you and make your relationship better, maybe he is in a bad mood today.

Actually, I think you should talk to your parents about this, and you can say something about you. If you have some questions during your menstrual period, then ask your parents to introduce you to an answer. I think this is a normal phenomenon.

You really made your mother angry, so if there is anything in the future, you must sit down and talk about it well, and don't hurt each other.

Quarrels with parents seem to be a phenomenon that is difficult to avoid growing up. The problem is that when you realize that the quarrel is not good, calm down and apologize to her, this is the beginning of solving the problem, and sometimes it takes a short time to deal with it coldly.

How old is my mother, maybe my mother has also reached menopause, it is normal to be irritable and emotionally unstable, and it is normal for you to be easy to be emotionally unstable when you reach the rebellious period, let's communicate well.

There are reasons for quarreling with your parents, and you apologize first, knowing that you shouldn't have quarreled, and your mother should still be angry.

I think you're doing a good job, your mom is a little too childish, too irrational, relatively speaking, you're an adult, he's a child.

Don't think too much about this, everyone has a rebellious period, sometimes there is really no way to control it, but after the incident, it is good to realize your mistakes.

See if you hurt him during the fight, and if nothing goes too far, I think he should forgive you in two hours.

I don't know when I started to like "secret observation", and the lofty point is called "putting aside the subjective and looking at the problem from the perspective of a bystander".

For a while, I found a very serious problem: when I was doing things, I rarely deeply reflected on what I had done wrong, and even reflection was only superficial reflection and could not solve the problem. I analyzed the reasons for the loss of one Chang Hu, and there are roughly two.

One is that time does not allow. When doing things, all the energy is on how to do things well and get them done, and there is not so much attention to the way of behavior, even if you find that one of your behaviors is abnormal, it is difficult to stop and analyze in depth what is wrong. Sometimes you find a problem, but you can make a mistake in order to get the job done.

The second is that the self-consciousness is too strong. It's easy to look at things with self-standard. For example, at work, many people often say, "This job is so simple, why can't you finish it?"

In fact, this is a judgment made based on one's own standards, and whether it is simple or not is relative to people, not the attribute of the problem itself.

There is a saying that "the authorities are confused, but the bystanders are clear". If you are in the game, you are a person in the game, and it is easy to be confused by various factors and make wrong judgments. It's easier for the onlooker to think about the details from a big-picture perspective. Seeing things from the perspective of a bystander is more conducive to deep thinking.

Observe the process of others doing things, and then compare yourself. There are a few interesting questions.

It must be viewed with an appreciative attitude, and it is difficult to see the good in others first with a judgmental attitude.

Find the reason why he did this (ask directly or check the information), and analyze whether it makes sense.

Find the benefits and write them down. Then analyze the possible bad consequences and the corresponding solutions, and write them down.

What would you do if you did the same thing yourself? What are the advantages and disadvantages compared to his approach, think about it.

The ultimate purpose of observation must be to learn from the strengths of others and make up for one's own shortcomings.

Carefully analyze the things written down in the last two questions, summarize and sort them out, and see if there are any good points that can be added to your knowledge system, and if there are bad ones, you will be encouraged to change them.

Learn to observe, and only then will there be room for thinking.

The biggest advantage of seeing yourself from the perspective of a bystander is that the bystander doesn't have so many complex emotions and looks at the problem from a rational point of view.

We look at our friends more objectively than ourselves, and we will treat him as an ordinary person, and he will not be a person and will not be useless. The mistakes he made were made by the bad people who encouraged him and told him that everyone makes mistakes.

So what does it take to see this from a friendly outsider?

Step 1: Encourage yourself. Speak to yourself in a gentle tone.

Step 2: Accept yourself. You're not omnipotent, you're just a blind person.

The third is to admit that mistakes have been made. In the face of mistakes, just correct them, this is not the end of the world.

Use reflection to train yourself in the habit of watching yourself.

Reflection is a very simple way to watch yourself think, and developing the habit of reflection can make you very calm when dealing with things.

Law. This is a way of thinking in terms of three dimensions of time.

How do you feel about this decision 10 minutes later?

How do you feel after 10 months?

How do you feel 10 years from now?