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1.This is the King's Canyon, where I was scolded, welcome to my world, awesome wild king. 2.
You can't get up in the morning, I just woke up at noon, he stayed up all night until eight o'clock to say good morning, we all have a future of sudden death 3Last year I was only 155 tall, and this year I am 175. Because I learned from you cpdd and brought 10 cuckolds4
I'll always be single and prove that men are useless, but if it's handsome, sorry, I'm useless. 5.It's the eve of school, the day I stay up late to make up my homework, welcome to my desk, the crazy student party.
6.Bao sent you ten messages today You replied to me with a full stop and made a summary of my words You are really good details I like you more My treasure 7I still like to make up my life with strangers, and today the Didi driver asked me what I was doing, and I said that he had just come out of prison, and he didn't speak.8
Today, a customer complained about me, saying that my fried food was very salty, the head chef hammered my pot, and asked me if the salt didn't cost money, and I didn't dare to refute it, what he didn't know was that I didn't put more salt, but I missed you too much when I stir-fried Tears fell into the pot9When someone said I was fat, I thought I was joking, but it wasn't until everyone around me said I was fat that I realized the seriousness of the problem, and more and more people joked.
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After reading a copy of Fu Seoul, she said:
My son doesn't pay attention to hygiene, so I said to him, if you go down like this, no girl will like you.
My son said, I don't like them, do you think I care what they think?
I asked, don't you have a beautiful girl in your class?
The son said, do you think liking has anything to do with being pretty?
Does my dad like you and marry you because you're pretty?
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Super funny bed-ridden copywriting: I don't want to get up because the quilt is sick and needs to be taken care of. I had the heart to get up, but the bed and quilt didn't agree. Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing it!
I fell in love with my bed, but the alarm clock got jealous and insisted on separating us.
The so-called sleeping goods can be summed up in eight characters: spring sleepiness, summer fatigue, autumn nap, hibernation.
Someone like me, if he suddenly became gentle, must have slept enough for 12 hours.
Thinking that there was a lot to do tomorrow, I had to sleep until the day after tomorrow.
I'm lying in bed, maybe I'm thinking about problems, maybe I'm fantasizing, but in my head, it's all you.
I am who I am, and I sleep in bed every day.
Getting up is an ability, lying in bed is a skill, my ability is limited, but my skills are very high.
If the earth doesn't restart, I won't get up early; If the earth is not **, the bed will not get down.
It's not that my body is too lazy to move, it's that the friendship of the quilt is too heavy.
Why do you want to get up, I only got up yesterday.
I can't understand why I didn't sleep the night before when I first got up every morning.
2. Cute and clever.
Go to the bed of life and be a happy pirate.
What model of mobile phone do you have to buy to receive messages from the boy you like?
Someone asked me why I didn't sleep yet. I was shocked! I'm a security guard! Can I sleep? I slept with the safety of this circle of friends, who will guard it?
Eat what to make up, eat pudding in summer, mosquitoes will not bite.
If you're willing to take a moment to get to know me, you'll find that you're wasting a little time.
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1.When I was a child, I dreamed of being a superman, but when I grew up, it really came true, and now I do the work of ten people in the company every day.
3.It's too bitter to be single, I went to the store to eat a bowl of hot and sour noodles and accidentally got it in my eyes, and I didn't dare to wash it, for fear of the waiter**, so I could only eat it in tears.
3.A little trick for life every day, skipping breakfast for a long time, will cause hair loss due to malnutrition, hair thinning is better to take care of, and it will be very economical shampoo.
5.I don't usually scold people who make me unhappy, first, my limited life can't be wasted on boring people, and second, I really can't scold.
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1.You're not really fat, it's just that Nuwa used too much soil when she pinched you.
2.No matter how difficult and bitter it is, you should treat yourself as two hundred and five, and no matter how difficult and dangerous it is, you will treat yourself as a two-skinned face.
3.I tried to be a funny person, but then I tried it, and it went off track, and it became a joke.
4.A stone in my heart finally hit the ground, and it hit my foot!
5.How would you describe your cooking skills? Burn a good kitchen! Speaking of which, you may not believe it, it is the hand that moves first!
6.Go to bed early every day, play less with your phone, it's not good for your phone.
7.I heard that riding a horse can be **, so I insisted on riding a horse every day, and sure enough, the horse lost thirty pounds after a month.
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1.I've been really busy lately and it's hard to even guarantee 1 hour of sleep a day!
2.I had a friend who had a birthday and I bought her a gift online, and I said to my boss, "Can you write a note for me, happy birthday?" After my friend received the gift, he called me **: "Who is Zhang Tiaozi?" ”
3.There is always such a person, as long as he smiles at you, he defeats you, God replied: like the head teacher outside the window!
6.I went to buy multigrain pancakes this morning, and told the boss that I didn't want coriander, but the boss forgot it too quickly, and said apologetically, "I'm used to it, I can't give it to the people behind, I'll make you another one." I said, "Okay." Unexpectedly, this sentence of "OK" was said seven times later.
7.In the previous life, he must have been homeless, and he will be like this in this life.
8.I am studying at a medical university, and I am a little unwell today, so I asked the teacher for leave to see a doctor, and the teacher said, "No, you come to the classroom, and let everyone show you during class." "What I was born in this life is not a disease, it is a textbook!
9.If you like me, then be bold and like me. Go after me. I give you the right to like me and pursue me, but you didn't have the fate to be my boyfriend.
10.When I was at home, I still insisted on surfing the Internet with a fever, and when I went to school, I thought it was terminal cancer when I sneezed.
11.For every successful Ultraman, there is always a little monster who is silently beaten behind the big sale.
12.Just walking on the road, I picked up a strange **, a woman, and said, "Hello!
Congratulations on winning the second prize of 300,000 yuan in our company! Before I could speak, she laughed and said, "I'm sorry, the first time I lied to someone, I couldn't help it!"
Then, she hung up, leaving me standing messy in the wind.
13.If a woman is very reasonable with you and can reason with you about anything, then it can be concluded that she doesn't like you!
14.As soon as I went online in the morning, I received a message from netizens, he seemed to have drunk too much last night, saying that he missed me very much, and said that he had a crush on me for a long time.
15.I'm talented and intelligent.,Self-taught skills in picking up girls.,Now in my early thirties.,I have the ability to pick up girls.,It's a pity that I'm a girl.。
16.When we were young, we used to make faces in the mirror, and when we were old, the mirror was flattened.
18.People say I'm short and fat, but you're all wrong, I'm just not tall and thin.
19.The income of the big last month was okay, what I ate and what the dog ate; Last month's income was relatively poor, and I ate what the dog ate; It's been a miserable month, and I'm ready to eat a dog.
20.Actually, I still work very hard, except for sleeping. Dine. Drink. Internet. Watch a movie. Play the game. Swim. Jogging. Outside of shopping, I'm trying to study.
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