What is it like to feel insecure?

I feel like I'm wandering all the time, and sometimes when I see a home I like, my first reaction is that I will leave the house soon, and it will be troublesome to move. So it's minimalist, so things are packed super fast, and they can basically be taken away directly. I can adapt quickly in **, I don't recognize the bed or pick the environment, and I can also fall asleep in McDonald's.

There's a mantra that is, it doesn't have to be. Because I don't give promises, I don't want the future. I always felt like I was going to hang up the next day, so I did it when I had something to do, and I said whatever I wanted.

I never thought about it for a long time.

Security permeates every aspect of life. As far as friendship is concerned, the fear of rejecting others is a manifestation, you would rather wronged yourself than reject others, or never dare to refuse head-on, you can only make up lies and refuse euphemistically, and after rejecting others, you will blame yourself, lacking recognition of your own behavior and psychology.

The heart wall is cast very high, and he is quite happy and easy-going with outsiders, but the truth is that no one can easily enter the heart; When he is sad, he hides in a no-man's corner, crying silently, unwilling to talk to anyone; Wearing armor, rushing all the way to the future, thinking that he was very brave and strong, only to know later that everything was fake strong, and when the inner shell was pierced, he often cried darkly; I no longer rely on others, and I don't feel the love of my parents since I was a child.

When you plan for the worst in advance, including all aspects of your life, interpersonal relationships, etc., you are always consuming a sense of security, and even in the places where you think you feel the most secure, you will often feel worried about tomorrow and the distant future.

I like to stay in the corner, I like to sit in the last row by the window, I will get up from the quilt to confirm that the door is locked, I am afraid that the phone will run out of battery, I am afraid of offending everyone around me, I am careful every day, I am walking on thin ice, and I always curl up when I sleep.

People with phobias experience it the most. Personally, I don't have anything too much to fear, I was afraid of the dark when I was a child, and now I have no problem. When the heart is at peace, the world is safe.

At this time, there is an extreme lack of self-confidence, and what you need at this time is to go out and walk more, participate in various activities, and slowly feel safe.

I am a very insecure person, I like to lock the door when I sleep, cover my head under the quilt, and like the corner position when I go to public places or classrooms, because only in this position I feel comfortable and secure.

I feel lonely, and I feel helpless when things happen.

Factors that contribute to a general feeling of insecurity may include the following:

Economic instability: Economic hardship, unemployment, poverty, and other economic problems can make people feel insecure and insecure.

Social unrest: Social issues such as social unrest, high crime rates, wars, etc., can also make people feel insecure.

Relationship problems: Relationships with family, friends or partners that are strained, unstable, or lack of support and trust can also lead to insecurity.

Health problems: Health problems of oneself or family members, such as illness, accidents, etc., may also cause people to feel insecure.

Psychological problems: Psychological problems such as anxiety, depression, fear, etc., can make people feel insecure.

Environmental disasters: Natural disasters (e.g., floods, hurricanes, etc.) or environmental issues (e.g., pollution, climate change, etc.) can also make people feel insecure.

Please note that the above are only factors that may cause people to feel insecure in general, and the specifics vary from person to person. If you feel insecure, it is advisable to talk to someone close to you, seek professional help or take appropriate steps to deal with the problem and resolve the issue.

There are still many people who fail to maintain a good sense of trust in intimate relationships. Even many people know that it is wrong for them to do so, but they cannot control themselves. I think the main reasons are as follows:

1. Personal cognitive factors. Some people, due to life experience and other reasons, lead to their own sensitivity and affection. In addition, they themselves will be more inclined to a more absolute cognition when facing all the events in the world.

For example, they think that "a good person will never do something bad", "if you love me, you will not oppose me", and so on. When people with such characteristics encounter a partner who does something that they do not envision, their trust in their partner will collapse in an instant. 2. Partner behavior factors.

There is a part of distrust, in fact, it is also inseparable from the partner. For example, some partners are secretive about their personal experiences and thoughts, and always avoid talking about them, which will naturally cause the other half to fall into a whirlpool of anxiety and suspicion. In addition, if the partner always tells some unnecessary lies about trivial things in life, it will also cause a decline in the trust of the other half.

After all, the other party can't tell which of your words is true and which is false. 3. Factors of getting along mode. If two people in an intimate relationship have a huge pattern of getting along.

At the end of the day, security is a "conviction" and insecurity is a fear.

If a person has a strong sense of security in an intimate relationship, she will have a "sense of certainty" in her partner and herself, and you believe that you hit him ** and he didn't answer because he really had something to do and not an excuse; You believe it's true that he's on a business trip, not behind your back; You believe that he won't love you one day and won't love you the next.

And if a person is not secure in an intimate relationship, what she experiences inside her is the "fear" of losing the other person, and this fear makes people prone to gains and losses. If he doesn't pick me up, isn't he chatting with other girls? If he says he's going on a business trip, isn't it possible he's lying to me? Although he said he loves me today, will he not love me tomorrow?

Our sense of security in intimate relationships is formed by a part of our innate temperament and our interactions with our nurturers in our early life. You may be surprised why intimacy is linked to parent-child relationships.

Because in these relationships, what we experience is a deep "attachment".

Our attachment to another life means that we open up the weakest and most vulnerable parts of ourselves to the other person. And this requires extreme trust and the certainty that you will survive even if you are injured.

People with anxious attachment are usually more sensitive to potential threats in intimate relationships, that is, to the "possibility of abandonment and loss", and this sensitivity and fear may cause anxious attachment people to make a lot of "confirmation" behaviors in intimate relationships, such as repeatedly asking their partner to tell their love, repeatedly confirming their partner's whereabouts, etc., because only a variety of commitments will calm the anxiety of "loss".

However, excessive "confirmation behavior" is likely to wear your partner out, and if he happens to be another person with an avoidant attachment, then it is easier to want to escape the relationship.

These situations make me feel insecure :

1.Instability in social relationships: Distrust, alienation, separation, or instability in relationships can cause people to feel insecure and insecure.

3.Health and safety threats: Physical health issues, chronic diseases, accidents, natural disasters, etc., can all cause people to feel insecure.

4.Uncertain future: Factors such as uncertainty about the future, confusion about career advancement, and unclear personal goals can cause people to feel insecure.

5.Psychological and emotional distress: Mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, mood swings, etc., can negatively impact an individual's sense of security.

It's important to note that everyone's feelings and triggers may be different. Feeling safe is a complex subjective feeling that can be influenced by personal experiences, values, and environmental factors. It's important to recognize your feelings and look for appropriate support and coping strategies to enhance your sense of security.

This may include seeking professional help, building a stable support network, improving self-awareness and emotion management skills, etc.