Do you have to listen to experts in parenting?

I can raise it as I want, and if I am in a good mood, I will raise it scientifically for a few days if I am in a bad mood.

Of course not, it should be combined with the baby's own situation.

Sometimes experts are really unreliable, and last time my mother-in-law asked casually.

This is forced by reality. In fact, it is more accurate to say that people who take care of the most children, are responsible for children, have the concept of scientific parenting, and are willing to continue to learn can become the highest leader of parenting in the family.

If this person is a father or an old man. Of course you can. But in real life, most of these people are mothers.

Most of the elderly are doting, they can't help but accommodate their children, make them happy, and even try to save trouble and comfort their children, instead of being responsible for their children!

For example, many mothers control their children to eat chocolate because they are afraid that their children will be too obese and have rotten teeth, which is responsible for their children.

But many elderly people will secretly give food to their children to soothe their children's crying, or simply want their children to be happy.

Good habits are not easy to develop, and such an irresponsible and easy break not only makes the child gain an inch, but also destroys the authority of the mother and the relationship between the child and the mother. If the elderly see the children the most, can not spoil the children, be responsible for the children, and have the ability to learn scientific parenting, then it is of course the best to listen to the elderly.

But the ideal is very plump, the reality is very skinny, such old people are not common.

Not to mention fathers, in the current Chinese society, there are very few cases where fathers have more babies than mothers.

For example, the father in the news is even more irresponsible, he knows to play with his mobile phone when he comes home, no matter how much the child studies, his wife will take care of it, and he will be too strict?

In my opinion, he is not qualified to speak up.

Of course, that's another topic, and we're talking about what to do today when you have a disagreement in educating your child.

Like the one in the news, where the husband doesn't want to educate the children at all and is violent, it is necessary to discuss whether it is necessary to continue the marriage, rather than how to educate the children.

Therefore, under the premise that everyone is responsible for the child, there are educational differences, and it is best to listen to the mother!

You must know that when a mother faces a bear child every day, she grinds her mouth 10,000 times and breaks down emotionally a thousand times before she educates a good habit.

Kid Dan is very smart, and if the rules he makes are broken once, he knows that he can bargain. In addition to children cheating and destroying good habits, in fact, the most important thing is the development of children's view of right and wrong.

In the eyes of young children, even if what their parents say is true, they will unconditionally agree with it and take it as their own standard.

At this time, if there is a different situation between adults, the child will be confused. He doesn't know who to listen to, and, with a preschooler's cognitive abilities, it's impossible for him to tell who's right.

Therefore, parents must educate their children to be united front. Never show up, have disagreements in front of your child.

No matter how right your education method is, you can't disagree in front of your children.

Because the most correct education method in the world is to use one method for the whole family.

There is really no need to believe the words of parenting experts, they just analyze and evaluate from an objective point of view, but we must know that each child is an independent individual, and their bodies are very different, even if you believe in parenting experts, you can't completely listen to them, I used to believe in the words of parenting experts, and I also thought about parenting step by step, but then the development of these words has no meaning at all, you still have to carry out scientific parenting according to the actual situation of your own children, as long as you follow scientific parenting, there is no need to listen to parenting experts, the best for your own children is the best.

Presumably many novice parents began to popularize a variety of parenting knowledge very early, and have also paid attention to a lot of parenting experts' platforms, in our fixed concept, we always think that what experts say is the truth, many parents have such misunderstandings, we are not saying that what parenting experts say is false, but we don't need to fully believe in what parenting experts say, because there are individual differences between children, sometimes the words of parenting experts are not necessarily applicable to our children, and taking care of children can not be done step by step, We have to depend on the actual situation of our children, otherwise you will always feel that you are not good enough, and even scare yourself from time to time.

Based on my own parenting experience, I can tell you that what they say is actually very general, and sometimes the more you listen, the more you feel that you are a failure, and children are not static, and you will not completely listen to parenting experts after you have parenting experience.

As long as you insist on scientific parenting, sometimes you will feel that you are more professional than those so-called experts, because many of the questions they ask cannot solve any problems, and in the end you still have to rely on yourself, as long as the child grows up healthily, you don't need to worry, and don't just go to ** to search for all kinds of answers, these are useless, and will only increase the troubles.

Personally, I don't think it's necessary to fully believe what parenting experts say; I don't believe it all, I hear some of it, some of it makes sense, but some of it doesn't make sense if I think it's wrong.

There's no need to take the words of parenting experts completely, I won't take them, I'll choose to judge for myself.

In the process of family education, in addition to finding parenting experts, you should also educate according to the actual situation of your own children, and don't blindly trust experts.

The reason may not be simple, it may be:

1.She is not used to seeking advice from professionals

We always think that if we have difficulties, we must find someone who knows more and is more professional than ourselves. However, many people don't. For example, my friend's dad had a chance to go to college after he worked.

About whether to go up or not, he asked his brother. The advice given by my brother is: At such an age, what else is there. At the suggestion of his brother, he did not continue his studies.

In fact, his brother's education level and personal experience are similar to those of his friend's father. My friend's father missed a lot of opportunities because he believed his brother's advice.

2.She didn't really want to ask for advice, but she wanted to complain

Some people seem to be asking for advice, but they are actually shirking responsibility.

One of my classmates' children was very bad and once beat his father. My classmates felt very embarrassed and even explained to us: we educate our children, we give him a lot of reasoning, but it is useless. What do you say?

It seems that she is asking how to educate her children, but she is actually shirking responsibility and excusing herself.

3.Specialists will put pressure on her

Some people don't get along with authority, and once they are with people who are richer than themselves, who have more power and status than themselves, they feel pressured, so they will avoid authority.

4.Don't trust parenting experts

Many people think that the so-called parenting expert only teaches his own children well, and his methods of educating his own children may not be effective when applied to other children.

Moreover, education is not a one-time thing, it requires long-term perseverance. Some experts give advice, but parents can't do it, so they hastily think that professional advice is invalid.

If it were me, I would be willing to spend money to hire an expert to help me analyze how to educate my children. I trust the advice of professionals more. What about you?

I have a neighbor who likes to learn about parenting, and often reads it and shares it with us in the group, but it's nothing.

But she usually goes out to walk the baby, and when she sees that some mothers are not good at teaching, she will point it out, saying that it will be bad for children to do this, and she likes to move out of the words of parenting experts to teach mothers.

She once saw me putting gloves on Kiki, and she also said that I was good, and that it was good for children to eat their hands, and that it was a way to explore the world. I could only smile and not speak.

My daughter's hands are deformed and blistered. I've read all the things that parenting experts have written, but it's not necessarily right, and they must be stopped if they are addicted to it. Anything too much is not good, so I don't like it when some parenting experts talk nonsense and hurt parents.

My daughter can't quit eating hands at the age of two, because she used to read parenting knowledge and said not to interfere with hand eating.

It's really hard to quit eating addiction, I often feel a headache from the feast, and Pei Shu has tried various methods for her but can't quit.

There are also parenting experts who say don't hit children. This kind of teaching according to aptitude, can not say that you can't fight, to see how to fight, children do something wrong to punish, otherwise there is no punishment for doing wrong, the cost of doing wrong is too low, he does not have to bear the consequences for doing wrong, there are many ways to punish, beating is just one of them.

I think there are two ways to look at this issue.

Since they are parenting experts, they must have a professional advantage; Compared with other parents, they will be exposed to more advanced parenting concepts. At the same time, because it is in the field of childcare, it generally has a large number of parenting cases. Therefore, when they face children, they will consider and comprehensively evaluate problems from more angles; In other words, they will be more tolerant and more open-minded.

Moreover, because they are familiar with the field, they are more sensitive to the critical period of the child; Prepare or plan well in advance to prevent your child from missing out on the critical period of development. At the same time, in the use of auxiliary tools, such as what toys should be chosen for each age, how to choose the right picture book at each stage, etc., you can also make a more correct choice.

From a parent's point of view, parenting experts and ordinary parents face the same problems.

We know that children have a universal law of growth; In other words, children of the same age have a lot in common. But we also know that every child is an individual, and he or she must have his or her own distinctive characteristics. In this respect, the children of parenting experts are no different from the children in our other families; Parenting experts are also bound to face problems that belong to his children.

These questions may have been answered by him from previous cases; It could also be a completely new problem that he needs to solve on his own. In the process of resolution, parenting experts may also experience anxiety, tantrums, and even irritability, anger and other processes; Only then can we find the right way to solve the problem, and we will be friendly with our children again.

I think that whether it is a parenting expert or an ordinary parent, there is actually one thing in common; That is, we are all parents who love our children. As long as we stand in the position of respecting and caring for children, children will grow up healthy and lively.