What are some of the funny things you ve ever remembered?

When reviewing in the library, I endorse in the hallway outside the toilet. I saw a boy walk into the women's bathroom. After a long time, he came out calmly and ran into a girl. The girl was stunned, turned her head and plunged into the men's bathroom, and rushed out again. Ha ha.

One afternoon, when I was about to get off work, the boss came over and said, "Huo Jianhua is coming to our group!" "I thought I was going to have a newcomer Xiao Xianrou, at least a handsome guy, the next day at work, just sat down in the seat, the boss suddenly stood up and said:

Huo Jianhua! "I hurriedly looked up at the door, it was an uncle from a certain group upstairs, named Li Jianhua, and later, the boss said, what he said was: Oh, Jianhua!

It was the winter of the third year of high school, and there was a sudden heavy snowfall that winter, which had not snowed for several years, and the arrival of this heavy snow undoubtedly made many people cheer. I remember that the students in our class rushed out of the classroom collectively and ran to the playground to have a snowball fight with their bare hands. The funniest and most hateful thing is that after everyone played in the playground for a while and returned to the classroom, some students quietly took the snow to the classroom and put the snow from the neck into the back of the classmate.

Before the university structural exam, I was in the toilet with the boys in my class discussing how to cheat. When the two of us walked out of the cubicle, we saw the structure teacher smiling at us. He said:

You guys were so careless. On the day of the exam, the teacher placed the two of us in the diagonal position of the classroom.

One of my favorite English teachers, when she was lecturing in class, I suddenly noticed that the silk blouse was actually wearing the label backwards, and then I whispered to her, and she blushed very cutely when she found out and ran out to change it again.

When we were in class, my table mate kept chatting with his friend across the aisle, and he couldn't be happier there. I saw that he suddenly stopped laughing, and his expression was wrong. And he yelled

Who farted? It stinks! He told me that he couldn't breathe when he was laughing, so he took a deep breath, but I turned to the table in front of me and asked my tablemate why he couldn't smell it, and I snorted coldly at the table, I finished sucking, can you smell it!

The company where I interned before, one time, in the morning, the sister of the next group called, "Ah, you have already arrived in Europe, okay, okay, I'll come over right away." Then she was in a hurry to pack her things, and I sat opposite and was stunned, saying that I would go on a business trip, and the location was so wide, and I didn't have to report it to my superiors? Then I learned that the company named the conference room, Europe, Asia, Africa, Oceania.

When we were young, the living conditions in the countryside were very difficult, and we rarely could eat delicious meals, and for children was no exception, unless our parents were sick and uncomfortable, our parents would take extra care of us and get some delicious food.

My husband said that he was myopic because he didn't know the eyesight meter when he was in school, and he didn't know what to do about it, so he talked nonsense, which led to the judgment of myopia, and he was really myopic from then on.

When I was a child, I always liked beauty, but I didn't have the money to braided my neighbor's partner and say it looked good with chicken feathers.

That's my hair is small, maybe when we are together, I will laugh for a long time telling a small joke, and now I don't think it's very funny.

What everyone sees online:

When I was in junior high school, I had a classmate who was known for his love of farting.

Give an example. 1.The girl at his table was very funny, and once the guy farted, and the girl got angry, and then she asked him.

Are you farting?" the man refused to admit at first, and then the woman said, "If you don't recognize me, I'll tell the class."

The man began to get nervous and confessed. As a result, the woman said, "What are you going to do if it stinks?"

And then the man. He began to inhale and gasp to pump the fart back into his stomach.

2.Our math teacher is very fierce and serious. During an exam, he farted when the teacher walked by. This is the whole class seeing our poker-faced teacher rushing to the window in 3 steps, fanning the wind with his hand while gasping for air out of the window.

3.He farts loudly. Then he came up with a solution: deliberately move the stool to make some noise when farting to cover it up.

As a result, he didn't have a good time, and moved the stool loudly during class, rattling--, and then the class fell silent, and heard an unusually loud "porphyry".

Sleeping and playing with the phone, there is a little bug flying on the screen all the time.

I took her phone and turned off my screen, and the little bug was smoothly attracted to her phone screen.

I handed it to her and said, "It's just a life, save some fun." ”

Chatting with my husband and wife, I said, "Husband and wife have lived together for a long time, eat the same, and live together." Over time, they will become husband and wife. ”

He said with an understanding: "Oh, no wonder I'm getting uglier and uglier! ”

My wife and I went swimming, she wouldn't, and then I taught him all sorts, and after a while she suddenly said, husband and I seem to be full.

I watched TV with my husband in the living room at night. It's late, my husband says to sleep?!

I played tricks on my husband, "Husband, I want you to carry me in!" ”

My husband looked at me and said, "Forget it, I'll move the bed out for you!"

Wife: You gave me 100 yuan of clothes, which is simply an insult to me. The apology is too insincere and I don't accept it.

Husband: So what should I do to make you accept?

Wife: Buy at least 200 yuan.

Husband: How dare I insult you twice?

A wife and her husband quarreled and divorced, and the husband said: "The child belongs to me!" ”

The wife said, "The child belongs to me, and you think the child is yours." ”

It's really a divorce now!

I went swimming with my husband, I was resting when I was tired, eating fruit, when my husband swam to me, I fed him food several times, my husband said, don't feed me, I don't eat, I asked him if he had eaten enough?

He said, "No, I'll swim around and feed it, I think it's like training dolphins in an aquarium!" ”

Just now my husband asked me how much it costs to get a facial at the beauty salon today. I said a flat rate of 58.

The husband was silent for a while. I thought he was going to say I was too wasteful. As a result, he said: Wife, you have earned it. Your big face is 58 yuan, and their small face is also 58 ......

A beautiful purebred dog came to our back porch and made it home.

My husband wrote a notice and planned to post it in the "Lost and Found" column of the community.

Here's what he wrote: "The puppy, male, nearly nine months old, collarless, friendly, found on Stone Bridge Road. ”

I was worried that revealing too many details in this way would give an opportunity to those who had a bad conscience to ask for dogs, so at my insistence, my husband rewrote the notice.

Here's what he wrote: "Guess what I picked up? ”

Wife: Husband, I saw that brand of clothes last time, I haven't bought much clothes recently, I only bought a few sets a week, it's not enough to wear, people say that people rely on clothes, I look good, you take it out to have face...

Husband: Let's get to the point.

Wife: 3000.

Funny things, take a look at those sentences below.

1.I bought a pot of mimosa today, and I was not shy about moving it when I went back, so I asked the boss, and the boss said, "Maybe the pot you bought is shameless."

2.When I came to review, I found that other people's heads, some were printers, some were tape recorders, some were digital cameras, and my head was a soymilk machine.

3.Don't say anything about blue thin shiitake mushrooms in the future, that's what only southerners say, and northerners should have their own personalities. Turtle maggots, think oysters.

4.There is nothing more beautiful in the world than eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a pound, grow a pound, and always treat each other sincerely.

5.Yesterday I fought with the mosquito for a night, and in the end it was a draw, it didn't eat enough, and I didn't sleep well.

6.Girls should never go out alone at night, it is really dangerous, the barbecue supper desserts on the street, no one discourages them, and they can't help but enter a casual house, and they will grow a few pounds.

7."What is friendship? "You have been mentally retarded for many years, but I will never give up."

8.If you can't control your mouth this winter, and you don't **, you will have a very special foreign English name - Feide Yuanbu Winter.

9.People must not treat themselves badly when they live, for example, **This thing is too far away from me, or it is more practical to eat meat in the bowl.

10.Is there anyone like me, looking in the mirror and thinking that I look okay, a shot ** is not like that at all, usually listening to my own voice is not unpleasant, but when I hear the voice, I find that it is really ugly, I don't believe that only I am like this.

This is a story that my husband told me about his brother, one of his brothers, named Xiao Yang, is almost 30 years old and has no object, usually in life always looks stupid, he has no heart, the popularity is not bad, the brothers around him are actually very enthusiastic, introduce him to a girlfriend, but always meet the right one.

Sure enough, after coming back from a date with the girl, the girl said that she didn't agree to continue to meet Xiao Yang, Xiao Yang's relationship hadn't started yet, and she was nipped in the bud because of her stupid behavior, and he didn't know what he was doing wrong, and after telling us about the dating experience, he made us laugh and gasp,He still looked like he didn't know why. He also felt that he would help the girl find the bracelet, and the girl would be very moved.

Boyfriend falls into a manure pit. My boyfriend said that he fell into a dung pit while riding a bicycle as a child, and I thought it was the funniest thing.

I heard the blind date story of my grandmother's generation, saying that the blind date was to look at it from afar, and many people were looking for someone to replace it, there was a man who saw the woman on a blind date, and as a result, on the night of the wedding, he lifted the hijab and found that there was a big birthmark on his face that was particularly black, and the man cried on the spot, because the person he saw on the blind date was the bride's sister.

A few years ago, an aunt of mine went to apply for an ID card, and when she entered her fingerprints, she couldn't record it, because she always worked and her hand prints were gone, which made me feel very funny, but now I think about it, it is really not easy for her.

The funniest thing is doing self-righteous things, superfluous and unnecessary things.

When I was in high school, I didn't know if I really studied too hard, and I always wanted to sleep, but I didn't dare to sleep. Then, when the whole class wants to sleep, they get up, or stand in their place, or stand in the back. Every time I go to math class, there will be rows of people standing in the back, which is still a bit spectacular, like being punished for standing.

One time in math class, there was a boy in our class, he was sitting on the light switch, and he was sleepy, so he got up, and he stood up, and he fell asleep, and he leaned over and turned off the light. The point is, he hadn't woken up at that time, and we thought there was no power. After a long time, I realized that he was leaning there and falling asleep, and the light was turned off, and the key was that he was sitting there at the same table and sleeping with his eyes open.

Then, all the people standing behind were amused, and all of them ran away from sleepiness, and all of them went back to their seats.

One time I got up late in the morning, just after the class bell ended, I rushed to the last row, the teacher said a word: in the future, some students will come in from the back door when they are late, don't disturb other students, I found a seat and sat down and took out the bun in my hand to eat, I found a beautiful woman sitting next to me when I was eating fragrant, I thought that I liked me and she didn't eat in the morning, so I handed the bun to her, at this time the teacher said loudly: Some students are late, forget it, I'm still eating in class, and I won't say anything if I eat it myself, and you even handed the buns to the teacher?

I had a particularly funny thing when I was in junior high school, one night of self-study, after self-study, I went to the toilet with my classmates, there was no light, it was very dark, I was a little scared, neither of us spoke, and after a while, a girl came, and I didn't look at her and squatted in front of my classmate, and then before we could react, she ran away, and then we couldn't help it, haha