My mom is dear, but I suspect she doesn t love me

And such a mother. Maybe you have a misunderstanding, communicate more and understand each other.

It's hard to say, maybe your father's affairs left a shadow on her, it's normal for mothers not to care about their children now, but it's certainly not normal in that era, and it varies from person to person, then work hard to show her, endure it now, and work hard to support her in the future, don't mind, your mother is not easy, but she did not do it right.

Pay attention to communication, tell her what you think, listen to what she means, tiger poison does not eat children.

Your mother is very familiar with you, and she is afraid that you will suffer after you become independent in the future, and it is normal to be strict now, especially in the economic aspect, it is not easy to make money now, but it is quite easy to spend money, how can it be controlled by yourself?

Whether it's spiritual, financial, or independent, you have to be independent in the future, because you have to face a lot of things by yourself after all, but there is only one mother, and the mother and daughter don't communicate, and the gap is getting bigger and bigger, that is, both of them have problems.

She may be like this in her own personality, and all mothers in the world can't be perfect. She may have a worse personality than other people's mothers, and she shouldn't have spoken. But she must be better to you than to other people's children.

Someone else's mother can't be nice to you. So what if you don't forgive? You can only take the words she says that hit you as an incentive.

No matter how much she loves you or not, you should work hard, and people can't live on others. And you're all in college now. Independence is a quick thing, and don't hold a grudge against her.

Hello subject! You're going to feel that way, it's very normal.

This is the natural instinctive reaction of our body after our parents have crossed your boundaries countless times since childhood, for example, if someone looks at me, even if I don't use my eyes to see, my body will intuitively see the gaze of others. The prying eyes of others, the aggression of words, and the intrusion into our bodies will make my body have a natural resistance response and make us feel insecure.

For example, my mom always likes to reach out and help me tidy up my uneven clothes without my consent, which often causes me to resist and as I react to being invaded, I will verbally attack my mom, and then cause attachment, and this kind of situation will happen again and again in my life.

From her mother's point of view, she doesn't understand that her mother obviously helps you organize your clothes because she loves you, but why you still don't appreciate it.

From my point of view, I didn't ask you to help me sort out my clothes, why don't you say a word, do whatever you want, and be so disrespectful to others.

Love, sometimes, really, makes it difficult.

Love, sometimes, really, is depressing.

Love, sometimes, really, makes people want to resist.

Love, sometimes, really, makes people want to give up.

Love, sometimes, really, makes people want to run away.

In this, it can be seen that your mother, although she loves you very much, but her mother does not love you in the way you need, and there is a lot of control and insecurity in her love. This is the part of her that needs to grow.

However, this is only part of my mother's love, another part of love, she has worked hard to raise you and care for you, this part of love, but now it may be ignored by you, it may be that you can't feel it, if so, you need to see it, you need to feel it with your heart.

Try to see how Mommy is paying for you every day.

Maybe it will allow you to change your perspective and understand your mother.

I don't know if you're an adult, but if you're not an adult, we can still put all the problems on our parents.

However, if you are an adult, then you need to face this dilemma by yourself, fortunately, there are many ways to counsel and heal now, and there must be a way to help you.

In my experience, physical reactions require some more in-depth treatment, and the best way is to find a professional teacher. If you are still a child, you can also ask your parents to read all the words left for you by teachers today, and maybe your mother can understand your pain and face your pain.

Regarding the body's reaction (irritability, anger), why do you need a professional method, I have also said in the previous Q&A, when a certain kind of body reaction, constantly repeating, repeating, will form a cellular memory, when such a memory is formed, it will become a more natural reaction, controlled by your subconscious, so, your emotions, come at once, come at once, you will feel very powerless, unable to help yourself. Then you will move on to deeper self-denial and judgment. There will be greater limb clash conflicts in the heart.

The subject's thoughts are normal, and your boundaries have been forcibly broken repeatedly, and you feel very painful.

Some parents respect their children, understand their children's needs, and will give their children a certain amount of space, but the parents of the subject are not aware of this and still try to control themselves in their own way.

In view of the fact that the subject is still a student and cannot live alone without his parents, he can only try to regulate his emotions as much as possible. At present, it seems that the subject may have some problems in emotional regulation, such as when your parents interrupt you, you will hurt others or even self-harm, which is more serious, and our ordinary anger will not rise to this height, which may be a warning stool signal. If this is the case at home, what should the subject do when he or she encounters a similar situation in the future?

If you hurt someone, there will be legal issues involved, so you need to pay attention to it.

If you have emotional regulation problems, you can also turn to psychological counseling, and the doctor will help you correct the bad mood.

The subject may be able to discuss with his parents, express that he needs space, and hope that his parents can give him, even if it is a set time for you to be prepared, such as two hours they will come in and let you know in advance. Be honest and show that you are really troubled.

The subject may be angry that he feels that he should have his own space, but you are not independent yet, and living with your parents will actually still be affected, which is something that cannot be helped, and the subject may be able to lower his expectations. To put it bluntly, your parents feed you and let you study, and they try to control you, although it is not right, but it is understandable. If the subject has no parents, worries about food and clothing, and is reduced to the streets, although free, I am afraid it is a kind of bitterness again.

The subject can also try to understand the parents, who may be limited by their education and cognitive level, and cannot think that the child also needs to have independent space, but only to get along with the child in their own way. Once you understand the other person's suffering, your mood will also change.

Sometimes, in order to avoid affecting your mood, you just don't care about them, they come in, you go on to do your homework, when they are angry, they talk to you about schoolwork, you can deal with it, you don't need to argue with them. It is impossible to change others, but we can always change ourselves. When you are admitted to the school of your choice, you will naturally have the opportunity to live independently, and now it is just for the sake of patience in the future.