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1. The photographer asks Derpy how many seconds it takes to prepare, and Derpy stretches out three fingers, why does the photographer press the shutter immediately? Because Derpy sticks out the middle finger, ring finger and little finger, which is also OK!

2. After a few days and nights of breathing by 20 million people in Beijing, Beijing's air quality has finally improved. The new spirit of Beijing was born: "Virtue carries fog, self-improvement does not suck, haze head hard work, and then create gray and yellow!" Facts prove once again: fog is expensive to suck! ...

3. Marriage notice: I don't like makeup, save makeup money, I don't love the street, I don't like shopping money, I don't like to eat snacks, I don't like to eat snacks, I don't like to take a car, I save money to buy a car, in addition, the kind that usually loves to save money is the best.

Funny joke: When I ate dumplings at home, I was dipped in too much chili oil and accidentally choked and coughed, and immediately my dad hurriedly went to pour water. Seeing my dad bring the water, I reached out to take it, but was slapped away.

Dad put the water in front of my mother, and said thoughtfully: Wife, be careful when eating dumplings, don't choke, I'll pour you a glass of water here, drink some if you feel spicy! Me:

Funny joke: There is a British guy in the research room, who has been studying in Beijing for half a year, and I asked him how he is learning Chinese. He said that it was rare to die at the beginning, English only had 26 letters, but Chinese had 23 initials and 24 finals, plus four tones, and the permutations and combinations were about to collapse, and then there were 2,500 commonly used Chinese characters to memorize, which was almost fatal.

But since one day he mastered the universal word "lying cao", communication has suddenly become extremely easy...

Funny joke: My daughter-in-law asked me: "Husband, there is a question that I have been holding in my heart for a long time, there were so many beautiful women and rich girls back then, all of them gave up their lives to chase you, how could you chase me who was mediocre in all aspects?"

I sighed: "Since I was a child, they chased me just to see my handsomeness and nobility, but you, what I love is my talent, and it is enough to have a confidant in life..."By the way, back then, you said that my articles and my articles were quite ancient, like a few characters in the Three Kingdoms, but you didn't answer when you asked, you should have told me today, right? The daughter-in-law nodded and smiled

Yan Liang, Wen Chou. ”

Funny joke: Recently, my stomach has been upset, so I asked my mother to make some porridge and I will go home and drink it at night. When I got home, I found that there was still a bowl of meat, and asked my mother suspiciously

I have a stomach ache and why do you still make meat dishes? Mother: "Oh, I forgot, wouldn't you just not eat it?"

But I'm greedy" "Then you put the meat in front of you, take a look at the meat and drink a mouthful of porridge, and treat it as eating meat, and then the problem will be solved." ”

Funny joke: Me: "Husband, when we have money, you will propose to me again, shall we marry again?"

Husband: "Yes! But I also have a request.

Me: "You say! "Husband:

Just don't say yes when I propose. ”

Husband: That's a good idea, so let's do it. After a while, my daughter's test scores came down, with 85 in Chinese and 90 in math.

When my wife saw the results, she went to cook sullenly. At the dinner table, my daughter said: Mom, I deliberately made my Chinese score lower than that of math because my father's cooking was too unpalatable.

1. When a mouse laughs at a cat, there must be a hole beside it.

2, the two people standing at the top of the mountain and standing at the foot of the mountain, although their status is different, in the eyes of each other, they are equally insignificant.

3. At the end of the road, it is still the road, as long as you are willing to go.

4. What makes us unhappy is some small thing, we can dodge an elephant, but we can't avoid a fly.

5. The best and the worst make history, and the mediocre multiply races.

6. The only thing in this world is worse than other people's opinions, and that is that no one talks about you.

7. Success is to stand up more than to fall down.

8. Failure does not mean that you have wasted your time and life. Failure shows that you have a reason to start over.

9. Sometimes it is more dangerous not to take risks than to take risks in life.

10. It is not necessarily a good thing for all the people to be on one side, for example, they are all on the side of the ship.

There was a person who stayed at home to eat, and there were several dishes on the table that were all tofu.

As he ate, the host said to his guests, "Tofu is like my life, and I don't think any other dish tastes as good as it." ”

A few days later, the guest invited him back. The guest remembered that he was very fond of eating tofu, so he added tofu to the meat and fish, but when he ate, the man ate the big fish and meat, but the tofu was not even touched.

The guest was very strange and asked him, "Didn't you say 'tofu is your life'?" Why don't you eat a piece of tofu today? ”

The man said, "Tofu is my life, but if I see fish and meat, I don't even want my life!" ”