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I am the director of the office of a ** agency, and I also have a few people here who have just graduated and come to intern, and I was in the same situation as you when I first entered the unit. As far as my personal experience and experience are concerned, I think that as a newcomer, you must find a way to integrate into this collective, there is an old saying in China, "be a person in advance", you have just entered the unit now, you should work harder in terms of being a person, be kind to others, communicate with people more, help people around you slowly, and the people around you accept you, and your work will naturally be handy! First of all, we should pay attention to the image:
Dress neatly and spiritually, and don't dress weirdly (don't worry about money in the image, investment in this area is necessary); The voice is loud, and the narrative is clear and not procrastinating; Full of energy, the most taboo is to worry about it every day! Secondly, your subordinates must be diligent, and the chores in the unit, such as cleaning, taking newspapers, taking papers, fetching water, etc., must be more attentive and strive to be the first to see (try your best to ensure that you are the first to go to work every day)! Finally, the relationship with the leader must be good, it depends on your ability!
Finally, I will tell you that when I first entered the unit, I was still an intern at that time, usually I pay attention to being kind to others, warm-hearted in everything, try to find opportunities to help colleagues, but I don't know how you want others to treat you first, how to treat others, and usually communicate with people more contact, (if you are a man, find a few friends of the same age to eat, drink, drink and play ball, if you are a girl, find a few more good-tempered peers or older sisters to chat and go shopping, Slowly I integrated into the collective, others naturally began to accept me and move closer to me, under this belief I had a good relationship with my colleagues and leaders in the unit, and finally when there was an opportunity to come in, everyone agreed to ask for advice!
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Can you give an example from your life that illustrates how this bad feeling can occur? What you said above is your feelings, there is no reason. This shows that you are not dealing with the causes of your bad emotions correctly.
You have to be quiet and think: What do you want? Does it make sense? Why is this happening? Adults can't rely on others for many problems, and there is no one to rely on, so they have to rely on themselves.
People are depressed, and the most fundamental reason is the gap between desire and reality. Desires include: health, affection, love, friendship, money, materiality, power, intelligence, emotional intelligence, etc.
The desire to prune oneself is like pruning flowers and trees in a garden. The quality of pruning depends on one's own cultivation, and the improvement of one's cultivation should be studied by oneself, and learning is not necessarily in books, but it is very important to learn in the people and things around oneself.
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If you don't fit in, change jobs.
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If you cherish this friend, it is recommended to take the initiative to chat with him, enlighten him, correct the way you get along with each other, and if you do not cherish it, it is recommended to stay away from this friend.
It's very depressing to get along, it means that this person has not transmitted positive energy to you, he has not been able to transmit positive energy to you, it is definitely a consumption for you, please stay away from this kind of person. If you are looking for friends, you must find those friends who make you happy, their happiness will also be contagious to you, then you will be happy every day, and you will not get sick if you are in a good mood.
Precautions for getting along with friends:
If you feel very depressed when getting along with a person, it proves that there is too much negative energy in this person's body, which makes you very broken, so that you have no way to vent these things, when you are friends with such a person, you must enlighten him in time, if there is no change, you can only choose to leave, otherwise, you will become worse and worse.
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Dear, if being alone makes you feel depressed, you can do this:
1.Before getting along with people, take deep breaths so that you can communicate without psychological burden.
2.When getting along with people, do more relaxation of facial muscles, and when the face is relaxed, the heart will not be so depressed.
3.When no one is around, you should be free to play and don't set limits on yourself. Say whatever comes to mind, don't say this, you can't say that.
4.When getting along with others, think more about happiness, think more positively, and don't always think about your own psychological depression.
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1.How you feel about each other varies from person to person. Everyone has their own personality and emotional needs, so even if you are comfortable with someone, they may feel different levels or frequencies of satisfaction.
For example, you may feel very relaxed in the same relationship, but the other person may not necessarily have the same experience.
2.The way you communicate can also affect how you feel. If two people have a communication style that complements each other and communicates smoothly with each other, then they may feel comfortable.
If they share similar values, then they may also enjoy similar feelings together. However, if there is a significant impediment to communication between two people, for example, if one party expresses an opinion excessively, or if the other party appears unfriendly or impatient, then this unpleasant feeling may affect the other person even in a harmonious situation.
3.Differences in social habits can also play a role. Even if two people identify with each other, they socialize differently and follow the same rules and habits. This can cause one of them to feel unwell, even though he doesn't realize the cause.
4.The environment can have an impact. When people are in a less distracting environment, such as a quiet park or café, it is easier to connect with others quietly and relaxedly than in a busy street.
Therefore, the environment may also affect the feeling of harmony and mutual enjoyment.
In short, even if you are comfortable and relaxed with someone, they may not necessarily feel the same way. Different people have different personalities and emotional needs, and their communication styles, habits, and other factors are also different. Therefore, it is necessary to discover and understand each other's differences through practical communication in order to truly build meaningful relationships.
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Hello, in getting along with the teacher, you found that you have the feeling of getting along with your father and uncle. Usually the patterns and feelings left in our early intimate relationships are also prone to feel this way in teachers and leaders when we grow up. Especially the feeling of negativity.
In the face of leadership or authority, wanting to be recognized, turning off your true feelings and becoming numb. It is also because sometimes the deepest psychological feelings are actually hurt, wronged, not understood, and demanded. It is also a kind of anti-good rubber for self-protection.
Avoid being too uncomfortable to have the energy to solve and face realistic tasks.
Don't dare to express anger, happiness, and friendliness. It's going to be very uncomfortable, like all the feelings are suppressed. It's going to be depressing. The hearts are all caught. It looks like a feeling of a tightening of the heart. Maybe it's because of my own fear.
It's not easy to change your patterns and feelings with people, but it's great to see that and that's the first step to change. But don't deny yourself too much, because that's what you've felt over a long period of time. It needs to be solved through psychological growth and complex resolution, and it takes time.
Generally, it is difficult to improve on your own, and you need the help of a professional psychologist or psychological counselor to adjust.
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Hello subject! Share a warm hug!
Your confusion: "I don't want to get along with people, I always don't listen to what others are saying, I can't get along with people, I don't want to talk, I like to stay alone, sometimes I start to be stunned, I feel that I have been inexplicably irritable every day, I have always felt that I have a lot of things to do, a lot of pressure, and my boyfriend's things have also made me very stressed, I have been talking with my boyfriend for three and a half years, there are not many boyfriends, character, sense of responsibility and everything is very good, but the family conditions are not very good, no parents, Our two families live close, there are many relatives also live in the same place, for some other reasons, my parents and family feel bad reputation, do not agree, I am very stressed, I don't want to embarrass my parents, I don't want to live up to my boyfriend, my family is a lack of communication, I don't pay attention to my inner thoughts since I was a child, I feel very depressed as soon as I enter the house, I don't want to go home, I am unhappy every day, I feel that except for my boyfriend who cares about my inner happiness, no one cares whether I am happy in my heart, I feel very stressed for a long time, headache, It feels very gloomy".
Seeing your confusion, I think Senbi your awareness is great, you feel that you are more stressed during this time, your mood is more gloomy, and you actively ask for help, the subject is great!
Then, let's talk about depression, depression is like the weather, sometimes it's empty, sometimes it's cloudy, hail, it's raining, it's not a bad thing, it's because of the rain that it moistens everything. Depression is also a slow release form of inner stress, a mechanism that protects our physical and mental health. However, long-term depression is not very good, so you can set a deadline for yourself and come out within the deadline.
Third, let's talk about the reason, you clearly know that the reason for depression is that you want to be with your boyfriend, but your parents don't agree. Your boyfriend wants to pull you to his side, and your parents want to pull you to your parents, and you don't know how to choose? I think you must be a very well-behaved and filial girl.
Sometimes on the basis of obedience and filial piety, to cultivate your independence, you can ask your heart, whether you want to go with your boyfriend or with your parents, it depends on your relationship with your boyfriend.
Parents have their parents' considerations and care for you, but your parents will eventually respect your own choice, no matter what you choose, just don't regret it!
The world and I love you!
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