Why don t we be good old people?

Because the good old man is actually not very popular, this kind of person always sees people talking about people, talking nonsense, trying to make no one offended, and has no principled tolerance for anyone, in fact, this is a bit like stepping on two boats, and there will be no position in life.

If a person cannot distinguish between right and wrong, that is to say, a person who does not have a basic concept of right and wrong, it is easy to lose himself in the process of pandering to others all the time. In fact, if we think about it, how can there be so many things and people that are related to our appetite, we blindly understand and support, blindly tolerate and forbear, which makes some people feel that we do not have any position.

There are too many things that good people want, how can no one be offended? In fact, if no one is offended, some people may have already been offended. Because ice and fire can't be combined, when you recognize ice again, you have actually offended fire, because in his opinion, you and ice are all the way, and you are just a false greeting to him.

It's the same with ice.

So the good old man doesn't seem to offend anyone, but this kind of appearance of no position and no right and wrong actually offends everyone.

The reason why we don't want to be a good old man is because if you have been an old man, others will take all your efforts for granted, and he will not be grateful to you, so we will say don't be a good old man.

What is a good man, that is, like a saint like a great man, desperate to pay, and then constantly to help others, without thinking about himself, this is what everyone calls a good man, so this kind of saint like God exists like a person, how can everyone thank him? Because he is good to everyone, everyone will take this goodness for granted, and will not think that your good to him is particularly precious, so we don't want to be a good person, we have to be a proper person to do good deeds. In this way, others will remember your goodness and others will repay you.

The second reason is that we should not be good people, because we are human beings, and if we are always good people, we always think about others, then who thinks about you? They all take your goodness for granted, so they may not be particularly concerned about you, so if you don't get any benefits from being a good person, but especially wronged yourself, you will be very uncomfortable in your heart.

Because a good man is a person who is unprincipled and good to others.

Confucius once criticized the good man, believing that the good man is the worst person.

As a good old man, he has no principles to be good to a person, and he doesn't care whether the person has done bad things or whether he is a person who deserves to be good to him.

If the good man helps a heinous murderer without principle, causing that murderer to escape, and then the murderer kills more people, then the good man is indirect, killing a lot of people.

Secondly, the good old man, and the other point is that it is easier to bully, assuming that you are a principled good old man.

But you don't know how to say no, so no matter what happens, those people will find you and ask you to do it for them.

Because they know that you will definitely not refuse, and the more times you do, they will not come to thank you and think that this is what you should do.

You will have a very painful time at this time, and once you reject others, they will resent you, which will only make your relationship very bad.

So, don't do it, whether it's a principled or unprincipled good person.

There is a saying that horses are good to be ridden by others, and people are good at being bullied. This sentence is not unreasonable, I believe everyone still remembers the very popular Taiwanese idol drama "Falling in Love with Borage Girl", the heroine Chen Xinyi played by Chen Qiaoen was a post-it girl at the beginning. And the charm of this post-it girl is very much like the good old people here.

There are many people in the workplace who encounter this situation. It is normal for a colleague to help her bring a lunch when she is busy, but many people will intensify it more often, and it will develop into a clear colleague who is also free, but she still wants you to help bring lunch, if you refuse, then your colleague will say that you are not kind, there is no friendship between colleagues, and you don't even help with such a small favor.

Yes, if you really didn't take into account the camaraderie between colleagues, you wouldn't choose to help bring lunch at the beginning, and you wouldn't let your colleagues say that at the end. In the final analysis, you can't be a good person, because people nowadays will have a common problem, at first if there is a person who is very good to him, he will be grateful, will treat him in the same way, but after a long time, many people will take this good for granted, if suddenly one day this good disappears, then that good old man will be criticized and criticized.

So, not to be a good old man is also to be kind to yourself.

What do you do to be a good old man? Only when you are full will you be a good person.

Once you become a good person, you can only suffer yourself.

A good person is not a good person, a good person is the kind of person who will help when he encounters something, but he will also help selectively. But a good old man is the kind of person who wants to help with everything and never knows how to say no.

Being a good old man sacrifices a lot of your own personal time. When someone asks you for help, you won't refuse, and you'll always be there to help. If people keep asking you for help, what do you do? You'll be busy until the end, and you'll run out of personal time.

When you spend your time helping others, you will find that you spend very little time with your family. Because you're all about helping others, and you don't pay attention to the people around you at all.

A good person may not be rewarded, because you help others, but they may not appreciate it. When you ask someone for help, they are likely to reject you outright.

I personally feel that the reason why we can't be a good person is because the society in this world is too sinister, and you are easy to be bullied and deceived if you are a good person, and many times, the good person will not be remembered by others in your heart, but many people will think you are nosy.

There is a saying that "you can't have the heart to defend against others, and you can't have the heart to harm people." "That's what I'm saying, you can not take the initiative to harm people, but you can't be defenseless against bad people. The world may look good sometimes, but many times it's not.

There are many times, even if you don't provoke others, if you are a little weak and honest and easy to speak, others will take the initiative to bully you. <>

And sometimes the things that good people do are not read well by others, such as two people having a fierce quarrel. If you handle it properly, you can get two people back together. But in case you mess up, the two of you not only escalate the conflict, but also say that you are nosy behind your back.

Therefore, let's not be a good person, at least we should be wise and protect ourselves.

Good people are often insecure themselves, so they pay more attention to what others think, which can lead to a further lack of security. Don't dwell on past failures, forgive your past self, focus on your strengths, and believe in yourself.

Organizational aspects. For some daily work or work that they think is very important, the system of requesting instructions and reporting has not been strictly implemented. Ideologically, they do not resist or struggle against rumors and false remarks that appear in society, and there is the idea of a good old man, and the depth of criticism and self-criticism is insufficient.

The Aronson Effect:

This is due to the famous Aronson effect. The so-called Aronson effect refers to the gradual negative attitude as the reward decreases; A psychological phenomenon in which the reward increases and the attitude becomes more and more positive. Someone once conducted an experiment in which the subjects were divided into four groups to give different evaluations to a person in order to see which group someone liked the most.

The first group always praised it, the second group always derogated it, the third group praised it first and then depreciated, the fourth group first depreciated and then praised, and finally after the experimental subjects conducted dozens of people, it was found that most of them had the most favorable opinion of the fourth group and the third group the most disgusted.

I always have expectations and such a mentality to be a good person, and although it is painful every time, sometimes it seems that I can't help but play this role. Many times, I don't want to be the "good person" that others say, I also want my rights and interests to be respected, and I also want to get the results I want, when I am taken advantage of, when I am bullied in disguise, and when I am comforted, I ......At similar moments, hearing words like "you are a good person" and "you are kind" simply makes the bark branch eggplant even more depressed, and even ...... out of anger

I don't want to be a good person, but sometimes I don't know myself, and then I often regret it, why did I do this, why did I have to be so good to him, I was angry with myself there, and I have never been able to solve the knots in my heart, but the next time I often can't help but do it again.

At this time, expectations are often very high, he is like this, but I have helped him, and I have helped him again and again, I am so good to him, will he be good to me, at least to me. But every time the facts are loudly slapped in the face, showing goodwill and people don't care.

Some people will think that if I am good to others, others will be good to me, in fact, and this is not logical, it is my business to be good to others, and it is his business for others to be good to me, and the two are not related. I won't say that because I'm good to others, others will be good to me, or if I'm bad to others, others won't be good to me.

I thought about what to do. To be honest, it doesn't matter if it's angry or depressed. How to fundamentally change this problem, I think that only if you are really strong and brave enough to say "no", this is the fundamental way to solve the problem.

Bravely say "no", although it is painful, the pain is all at once, and it is painful for a while. If you were struggling to agree and didn't say no at that time, it would have been painful for a while, so now start to make yourself stronger, work hard to improve yourself, exercise yourself, and master the capital and ability to say "no" bravely.

Kindness is a choice, but not a must. If kind people are not treated well, then the oak must be selectively kind, you can be kind, but you must grasp a degree, that is, people can not be bullied. People are good and deceived by others, that is not strong in principle, you must know that kindness is not without a bottom line.

You can be kind, but you can't wronged yourself, kindness must have a ruler, forbearance needs to be moderate, that is, no longer chill after kindness, no longer regret, don't let the advantages of kindness become a weakness in your life.

It is a virtue and a common value of mankind. Kind people are usually empathetic, compassionate, and caring, able to think of others, and concerned about social good and social responsibility. Acts of kindness can have a positive impact and bring positive energy to society and others.

Therefore, kindness is a beautiful quality that is worth pursuing.

Kindness is not a guarantee of a good reward. Good people are subject to deception, exploitation, injustice, and injustice. These experiences can leave people of good will feeling disappointed, frustrated, and helpless.

But we also need to understand that kindness is for our own hearts, not for the sake of being rewarded. Acts of kindness are not for the sake of obtaining good results, but for the sake of one's own inner peace and identification with oneself.

Acts of kindness should be perpetuated, and while good people may suffer injustice, their acts of kindness will bring them peace of mind and self-identity. Acts of kindness also have a positive impact on society, making the world a better and warmer place. Therefore, acts of kindness are always worth it, whether they are rewarded or not.

Good people need to protect themselves. Good people need to be vigilant and avoid being hurt and deceived. Kind people also need to learn to protect their own interests and rights and interests, and not to be taken advantage of and bullied.

At the same time, good people also need to learn to express their opinions and demands, and not to compromise excessively and sacrifice their own interests.

In conclusion, kindness is a value and virtue that is worth pursuing. While good people may experience injustice, acts of kindness are always worth it and can have a positive impact on oneself and society. At the same time, good people also need to protect themselves from being hurt and deceived.

Only in this way can we truly understand and practice the meaning and value of kindness.

I used to have a colleague who was a very kind person, and he never refused to ask for help from others, so everyone naturally asked him to bring food, and he thought that it was not so difficult to bring food to one person or two, so he always helped others bring things.

But if you help one person bring food, the other person will also want you to bring food, so many people in the company want him to bring food, but he is just one person, and he can't take so much at all, so those who are politely rejected hold a grudge against him and will always find a way to trap him.

In fact, this kind of thing is the same as borrowing money, I help you bring food is diligent, I don't help you bring food is also duty, everyone has hands and feet, why don't you understand yourself, instead of letting others help you bring food?

is that everyone should be able to see that often this kind of person is the kind of selfish person, even if you bring him food, he will not accept your affection, but will take it for granted. But why do others need to help you, and what do you help others?

So don't be that kind of good guy in the company, it's useless. Just like if a person is often cold to you, occasionally a little bit kind to you, you will feel that this person is good, but if people are often very good to you, once not so thoughtful to you, you will feel that this person is very bad.

Although in a relationship, you must stop in moderation, and don't try to move others with some of your actions, which are only temporary.

So don't let others have this kind of thinking at the beginning of the workplace, and learn to refuse, otherwise you will be tired and no one will feel sorry.