Lovers like this. What should I do? How do you love someone?

Zhang Ailing once wrote in an article that a man has to meet two women in his life, one is a white rose and the other is a red rose, if he chooses a white rose, then the red one is a cinnabar mole on his chest, and the white one is just a grain of rice on his clothes; If he chooses red roses, then the white is the bright moonlight in front of the bed, and the red is just a touch of mosquito blood.

So, don't judge your relationship by love or not love or love and more. True love will eventually be transformed into family affection, and if it is not like this, it is not love.

The most important thing between two people is loyalty, lose this, what love to talk about!

Talk to him and ask him if he is the woman who will leave you when she comes back. If he says yes or is silent or difficult to decide, then it's better to leave him, unless you want to be with someone you love the most but don't love you the most. If he says no, then please stop being helplessly sad for those who have passed away, and he can't pretend to be good.

Don't care about that, whether he likes the woman or not.

It was impossible between him and the woman.

This is just a manifestation of the curiosity mentality of men, who like to do something in order to show their pursuit of power.

It's naïve, and I'll admit I've done it.

Deliberately keep an affair with some female friends, but everyone has a number of impossible, but men love to play this category.

You must like him. So, love him better and better. Believe in your good to make him forget his previous girlfriend.

Learn to love yourself first. Sincerely wish yourself bravery, kindness, optimism and happiness.

People who lack love when they are young, except for some extreme situations that have a revenge mentality, often have a very heavy "compassion", that is, they can sympathize with others, and can even overdraw their positive energy to be good to others; But "compassion" is insufficient, especially for oneself, subconsciously feeling that they are not worthy of love, and they will feel self-pitying, self-hindering, and even self-destruction.

Anyway, I don't know how to love others properly......You can be very nice to people you don't know well.,Sacrifice yourself to be good to them.,But you're very mean and critical to the people around you.,Even if I hurt me a little bit, I'll be very resistant and want to escape.,And because intellectually I know it's my own problem, I won't bring it up.,So the problem will never be solved.。

So, start cultivating compassion for yourself, accept yourself from the bottom of your heart and be kind to yourself. Compassionate people, once they learn to love themselves, will soon have the ability to love others. As for how to give love and how to deal with interpersonal relationships, it is naturally no longer a problem.

The real way to deal with the relationship is a very big problem, first of all, self-love, what is self-love, to establish a correct understanding of yourself, personality health, three views are correct, etc., obsession is not deep, love is formed by the joint efforts of the two parties, not one party to pay and one party to fully accept, this is unequal, not worthy of the relationship.

Correctly judge your own positioning, what kind of person is suitable, your own personality and emotional advantages and disadvantages, whether your interests and hobbies are suitable for each other, whether your values are appropriate, people-to-people exchanges are generally applicable to the principle of value exchange, what do you love each other, why does the other party love you, if a person does not love himself, then others have contemptuous behavior, the so-called self-love, self-identity is more influential than others' identity, moderate rejection of others, making people think that self is valuable, human nature is so cheap, if you don't get it, it's good, What is easy to get will not be cherished, the proportion of love in life should not be too high, cultivate more healthy hobbies, read more good books, make friends than puzzles, increase the charm of being loved, be able to handle the relationship between self and others, you will have the ability to obtain a certain amount of material, and the pursuit of love will naturally have more certainty.

The essence of love is also a contest between intelligence and emotion, interesting but also consumes people's minds, if the basic skills are not solid, or don't try easily, otherwise it is often injured by the shallow party, many people may say that love is beautiful, not what I said, love is not attracted to each other, if there is no attraction to talk about beauty, and attraction is value, is worthy of love, if one party is excellent and mediocre together is unlikely to be possible, will it be peaceful for a long time?

Don't say that feelings can be cultivated, the first impression determines the basis for cultivation, or the quality or appearance or fame and fortune and other things that are worthwhile.

The true and pure meaning of love, we must talk about a high degree of spiritual integration, increase our charm and the opportunity to be selective, love is endless, I wish you and everyone to harvest love.

Love your neighbor as yourself. It doesn't seem to be that hard.

Don't get me wrong, I mean when a person lets go of selfishness.

Believe in oneself and be selfless, and believe in others with love.

Then he or she loves his neighbor as himself.

Of course, it's too hard to let go of selfishness.

But I don't want to talk about this here.

Letting go of selfishness is a matter of moral cultivation.

I'm going to talk about the technical aspects.

Let's assume that everyone can let go of selfishness.

Then do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Do to others what you would have done to ......you

In this case, is it considered to love your neighbor as yourself?

Let me give you an example.

One day during our study abroad, we watched a medical drama in class.

After reading it, the teacher asked us:

Suppose your best friend who is terminally ill.

Will you choose to tell him the truth?

More than 80% of the students chose no

The reason is simple, white lies.

In many cases, unwitting patients live longer.

It was even able to survive.

Then the teacher asked:

So if the person who is terminally ill is yourself.

Do you want to know the truth?

This time, almost the whole class wanted ......

But I'm the same as everyone else.

As soon as I made an affirmation, I discovered the contradictions in this matter.

Why do you want to know the truth when you change your position?

But at the time of the first question, you made the decision to hide it from your friends?

Do we believe that we have the ability to bear the truth?

But you don't want to believe that there are friends and friends?

Why do we want to know the truth early and then deprive our friends of the right to know the truth? And in the name of love, in the name of goodness?

The psychology here is really hard to investigate.

Every time I think about it, I just feel that human nature is too subtle and complicated.

Even if it takes a lifetime of wisdom ......Nor can we exhaust its mysteries.

Loving your neighbor as yourself is a false proposition.

And not just because of the moral difficulty.

Even on a technical level, it is difficult.

In the name of your good, there are not many people who keep hurting you.

Some of them are hypocrites.

There are also people who really believe that this is good for you.

But in reality, it's not just about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Even if you want to do to yourself, you may not be able to do to others.

That's why the Buddha said that others are hells.

It's hard to know what a person really needs at the moment.

Even he himself may not know.

How to be both concerned and not intrusive in the private sphere.

I think there's a lot of obscurity.

There are both traps and gardens.

How to tell the .........Of course, it depends on the great thing that we have been pursuing all our lives......Its name is wisdom.

First of all, you have to have a heart that loves yourself, so that you will love others. Then, you have to be honest that a fake person doesn't convey real feelings, which is very important, because people in real life can rarely do it to this point.

In the end, it is natural to communicate. When you love others very much, you need to use communication to let others understand your love, only then your love is valuable, just because you and the person you love have reached a consensus, you have the same value and value.

When you do this, it means that you already know how to truly love someone, not just talk about it.

When you really fall in love with someone, you will have a very close feeling, they make you feel very comfortable, you can trust them and rely on them. He is like a close family, one could even say more intimate than a family, which is intimacy plus a warm feeling, which is the feeling of dearness. In this kingdom of love, he will not find fault with your flaws, because he is willing to tolerate all your flaws.

When we become interested in a person of the opposite sex or fall in love with someone of the opposite sex, we have physical contact with each other. In real love life, this desire is always there. The sexual impulse is not just an act, it also includes many other intimate physical contacts, such as holding hands, hugging, etc., and this emotion will always remain in the heart of the lover.

When there is love, we will think that the other person is the best-looking, even if there are other people of the opposite sex who are better looking than the object of your love, but for you, he (she) is the best-looking, and others cannot compare.

To put it simply, there are only four words: sincerity, intentions!

Creating a future is a living battle, showing that the future is not chosen, and you are to come. Prepare for the luck of his total, he came to the branch to show a he he degrees, his bag returned to envy you to congratulate the defeat, success. His history is a quasi-success.

Yes? The package has been received and he has been allowed to return the amount of wisdom of the selection of,,To both the blessing and the following in the omission of patting his part on the past and also Hui he picked him up and he was born to choose in the same way not to bracket,Both come,After the meeting will not you choose to be enough,Not prepared。

Learn to love yourself before you learn to love others. Love is not a constraint, but a pay without regrets, give each other a little more space, don't be stingy with anything, don't put too much pressure on each other, and think more about each other when things happen.

If you want to really love someone, and let them have happiness and joy, of course, it is essential to put in effort and time, in addition, let the mask blind him see that you care and care about him, and when he is happy, laugh with him; When they are sad, comfort them and comfort them. Support them when they are in trouble and encourage them when they fail. To love someone is to give them happiness, to be their eternal safe haven, to protect them, even if they are hurt by a small thing.

The most important thing about loving someone is to respect their own independent time and space, let them devote their energy to the struggle for their ideal career, and urge them to make full use of the time that belongs to them, help each other in the short space with each other, support each other, share weal and woe, contribute to each other's ideal cause, and strive for a better future together!

Personally, I think that a person who lacks love in childhood, when he grows up, especially after getting married, does not know how to love others, and at the same time desperately tries to ask for love, the basic rule is this. I don't know if you've ever met someone like that.

A friend cried to me that her husband didn't love her, and that she rode her bicycle to work on weekdays, a distance of more than ten miles, leaving early and returning late. There is a car at home, which is usually driven by the husband.

Once, it was raining heavily, and she was expecting her husband to pick her up after getting off work, and she also thought that his husband was fine at home, and he would definitely pick up her ...... after such a heavy rainAfter waiting for a long time, she didn't wait, she hit **, and her husband didn't pick up, she rode home in the rain, and when she opened the door, her husband and son (who also went to college) were eating at home .........She said that she couldn't understand why her husband and children never loved her when she gave all her love to this family......Speaking of this, she cried into tears, and I handed her a tissue, and I could see that she had infinite grievances and resentment, as well as infinite incomprehension and doubts. Because she is friends and knows a little about their family, she and her husband have similar childhoods, and when their mother died when they were teenagers, they also lacked delicate maternal love.

After they are attracted to each other and get married, they are desperately trying to find the missing maternal love in childhood, and at the same time they don't know how to love each other, don't think that all the dedication to the family is love. And we need to understand the real needs of our hearts, understand the real needs of the other party, not unprincipled giving, and expect each other's giving. When you can't meet your own ideas and needs, it will turn into grievances and resentment.

In fact, in this case, two people love each other very much, nothing more than don't know how to love, in this case, we must communicate more, express our inner needs to each other, to be straightforward, to express their inner feelings, slowly, after a long time, understand their inner needs, but also understand what the other party needs, so that the two hearts that once lacked love will slowly warm each other and have more strength for each other.