How parents deal with the relationship of their children during the rebellious period of adolescence

Governing others is hell, and resentment is a sea of suffering.

Parents should not discipline their children, but should educate their children. Lead the child on the right path in person, and if you can't do it yourself, you can't let the child do it.

As soon as the parents' attitudes change, the children will change immediately.

If parents make mistakes, they will correct them, and their children will admire you, appreciate each other, learn from each other, and make progress together, and the family will be harmonious.

Let laughter fill every minute of the house. That's life in paradise.

Control your tone, choose the right moment to talk, avoid serious conflicts, and reason well.

Parents should guide him, know him with affection, move him with reason, praise him more, let him have a sense of achievement, and then he will work harder.

Patience, careful teaching, understanding.

In fact, in a word, it is to think more empathy, think more about the reasons and problems of things from the perspective of children, try to be a friend, and don't force it.

Children generally have to go through a rebellious period in the process of growing up, and some children are particularly obvious, and children in the rebellious period are not easy to manage, so they must learn to listen and encourage their children more.

After the sixth grade, many parents find it difficult to talk to him, not only does he not do what you ask, but even refuses to listen, you don't have a chance to talk to him too much, and he will enter the house and close the door after a few words.

So, how do parents get along with adolescent children who are lacking in spikes?

1. Make less subtle arrangements, clarify the big framework, and give him the space to make his own decisions and plans.

2. Communicate more equally, let him express his ideas more, and parents listen and understand. Parents are not condescending to say that they can share their experience of encountering difficulties and then solving them.

3. Respect his preferences, his friends, etc. It is not easy to deny the content of the world that belittles and accuses him. See the positives in it.

4. Adolescent children are cool and unruly on the surface, but they secretly hope to be affirmed and recognized by their parents. Therefore, it is still necessary to observe more, find the shining points, and sincerely express appreciation.

5. The influence of parents is reflected in teaching by example and having conversations with children on big topics. Talk about the future development, social trends, the growth experience of outstanding people, the application of new technologies, the economic situation, the new results of expert research in prestigious universities......These may seem unrelated to learning, but they can stimulate your child to have ideas and goals, and these goals are not fed to him, but by his own thinking after receiving this information.

6. Make good use of the influence of your peers. Don't just say how others are, how you should be. Usually, if the child's classmates and friends are more motivated, and the various recent results posted in the circle of friends, the child will feel that everyone is working hard to improve, and he will also add his finger oil.

In fact, I am a person who has just turned 18 years old, and as far as I can tell people, adolescent children still need a lot of attention from their parents. But this concern should not be deliberately expressed. You can talk about family life during meals, and occasionally say a few words that are slow to reveal concern.

We need to understand that we can invite our child's classmates to come to our home and see how the child looks in front of his classmates, which is his true self, and he will be happy. Parents need to talk about their children's personal problems very gently, in fact, parents can also be coquettish. Don't take it too seriously.

Parents can invite their children to take a walk after dinner, go shopping, buy small gifts for their children, or do chores with their children. You can praise yourself a lot in front of your children. Put love in your mouth, but not in the name of love.

Tell the child about the situation of the father and the mother, and consider the situation of the child.

It is normal for children to become very rebellious after entering puberty, and this is the case for most children. Because it is not closed or the child enters adolescence because of hormonal reasons, the child will not like to communicate with the parents, and the child will feel very irritable for some communication with the parents, so at this time we can also choose to educate the child, so that the child can understand more truth. <>

In fact, most parents ignore this place, and many parents feel that their children must not understand some of what their parents say, so they will choose to abuse their children directly, which is also very wrong. When we usually communicate with our children, we can also choose to tell our children that parents will communicate with you calmly, parents will not choose to abuse, you have to tell children that parents will control their emotions. When we usually tell our children something, we should also calmly say such things to the children, which can also make the children more acceptable.

At this time, we can often accompany the children, so that the children can feel the love of their parents and the warmth of their parents. In this way, the child will become more cute, and the child will be able to reduce some quarrels with parents, and I hope that parents can pay attention to this situation.

Usually in the whole process of educating children, we can not use too strict methods, if we always use this strict method to educate children, it may cause children to feel that parents are very difficult to understand, and children in the rebellious period of adolescence, their emotions are very easy to exact. If we choose to fight with our children at this time, it will inevitably lead to our children becoming worse and worse, so parents must control their emotions and educate their children in the right way, so that children can understand the good intentions of their parents.

Parents should often communicate with their children in life, and they should also be very good friends with their children, so that they can have a very good conversation to slowly understand their children, and slowly give their children some very good opinions and suggestions, so as to improve the relationship with their children.

After the child enters puberty, parents should communicate with their children carefully, be patient, and use the identity of friends to communicate with their children.

Parents should respect their children more, don't beat their children for a closed feast, scold their children with a ruler, be sure to encourage their children, be sure to reason with the sedan chair silver, and then be sure to give their children a sense of security.

Recently, I chatted with a parent, and I can clearly feel the anxiety of the parent from the parent's words, and the following is a screenshot of some of the parents.

Although our parents also came from adolescence, in the face of adolescent children, we are often helpless, as if there is no way at all.

After communication, the parent said that she also read a lot of parenting articles and learned several courses, but she still feels the same powerlessness, do you have the same situation?

I would like to share the following points today:

1. Respect.

As children grow up, children no longer need us in terms of food and clothing, but it does not mean that our parents completely reject and stay away from their children, especially adolescent children, they need more to be respected, heard, and seen. They need to be genuinely valued in words and deeds.

But attention does not mean to be a pleasing parent, in order to please the child, do not dare to discipline him, because then the child will soon know that the parent is a weak-willed, unprincipled person, the more patient and threatening he is, the more you compromise, give up, and finally choose to resign to fate.

Parents should not only let go and let the child take responsibility for himself, but also maintain communication so that the child knows that his parents care for him.

Second, a good relationship is a prerequisite.

The premise of all communication is to establish a good relationship, and only if the child is willing to listen to the child's opinion (i.e. respect), not to argue with it about right and wrong, and not to seek "persuasion" (i.e., acceptance), the child is willing to open up and communicate with himself, so as to say what he really needs in his heart.

Because if you don't understand the specific needs of your child, even if you learn more parenting methods, the suggestions put forward are only thought up by "experts", not the way you work out and approve with your child, so you can't achieve real results.

I think this is why many parents have the feeling that "I think I have a lot of books and know a lot of methods, but I still feel helpless when I teach my children".

This is because all methods are based on the user's own state.

3. The advantage perspective is to give children the ability to imitate the manuscript.

Discover the positive factors from the child's story (i.e., empower the child), convey the positive factors to the child, and let the child stand in a position of strength.

Finally, I want to say that education is a system project that lasts for more than ten or twenty years, in this project, it requires enough patience and persistence, and it also needs the words and deeds of parents.

1. Communicate more with your children, after children enter puberty, they will pay more attention to their parents' views on themselves, and parents should communicate with their children more, so that they can quickly discover their children's psychological appeals. When a child expresses dissatisfaction with himself, parents should not blindly beat and scold the child, as this will only make the child feel more angry and deepen the estrangement between the parent and the child.

2. Correct the concept, treat it with a normal heart, rebellion is a normal stage of development, don't worry too much. Please treat it with a calm mind and find the right way to open your child's heart and help him get through this period smoothly.

3. Respect the needs of children, after children reach puberty, their self-awareness will continue to develop, and they desire to be different from others, and parents should respect their children's needs. When a child grows up, he or she is unlikely to be completely receptive to his parents' advice, and parents should not interfere too much with their children, but should encourage them to talk about their reasons for doing so.

For example, if a child wants to learn architectural design, parents may wish to let their children talk about the purpose of studying architectural design and their future career plans.

4. There is a big difference between parents and children to be good friends of children, but this does not prevent communication between parents and children, in fact, parents and children can also become close friends. Parents should communicate more with their children, understand their children's ideas, and become friends with their children, so that parents can communicate better when their children are rebellious.

5. Respond calmly, refuse to be irritable, parents must be calm enough, do not transmit impatience and anxiety to their children. Children at this stage have extremely high self-esteem, are impulsive and stubborn, and in general, they will not give in and will not understand their parents. The impatient attitude of the parents can cause them to be aggressive, which can lead to direct conflict with the parents.

6. Seeing the advantages and implementing democratic and encouraging education, children in this period are eager to be recognized and have the right to make independent decisions. Therefore, it is better not to give your child some encouragement, instead of blindly blaming and demanding. Through encouragement and recognition, children can feel more warmth and love, and are more willing to communicate with their parents.

1. From the child's point of view, respect the child's feelings and decisions. Remember, a child is a person, an individual, not a private property. He should have his own strength, and sooner or later he will have to face life independently.

Chunhail talks about the need to develop the ability to be self-reliant, and now is the perfect time to develop this ability.

2. Analyze the consequences of the child, provide options, and let the child make his own decisions. If the child is still willing to try his own plan after learning the results of the action, then the parents should not force it.

3. Mistakes are allowed, and growth comes at a cost. When your child fails, please don't blame, always be your child's backing, and support him unconditionally.

In general, I would like to remind parents that the kite will never fly into the sky if it is pulled in the hand, and it can only grow up after a celebration.