Philosophical funny sign, ask for funny sign humorous jokes

I don't know if you'll be interested, but it's my personal experience.

One day my name was Wei, so I took a bath with my Ma Ma, and I said to my Ma Ma: "Look at me taking a bath, I will call me Ma Ma to beat you!" I didn't seem to react, and said:

What the fuck is you? Tell her to get out of the way! ”…I messed up ...... in the water

Recently I found out that I was fat, and after my review, I realized that the biggest mistake I made was ......

When you wake up, you will be hungry, and when you are full, you will be sleepy.

Husband, I'm hungry. "Well, I won't be hungry if I miss me. "Why? "Because longing is a kind of bread, and longing is a kind of bread, a kind of bread. ”

Patient: How much does a tooth extraction cost? Dentist: 800 pieces. Patient: 800 yuan for a few minutes? Dentist: I can pull it out slowly if you want.

A beautiful colleague's rent expired, and when the agent checked it, she said that there were 3 holes in the door, and 100 yuan needed to be deducted for one hole. She asked, "Are you sure that a hole is 100 dollars?"

The agent said, "Sure! I saw her pick up the kitchen knife and click to connect the three holes into one, and turned back to the intermediary and said:

If you can save 200, save 200. ”

One day, a friend received a courier from his sister, which was not a small box but very light. When I opened it, I saw a large plate of yogurt, but it was all drunk, and only the empty box was left. There was a small note left by his sister inside: "Brother, this yogurt is delicious, you can buy some and try it yourself!" ”

Haha, your words are so funny.

1. No one will suddenly not love you, it's just that you suddenly know.

2. Losing is more terrible than not being able to do it, because it has one more process called Zengxiang Xing.

3, you are the longing for me to wear, I am the past banquet friend you can't remember.

4. Just as if the wind hasn't blown, you haven't come, I haven't loved.

5. We always say that the years are the same, but we don't know if they are the same.

6. Those who lie in the blacklist have also stepped on colorful auspicious clouds at the beginning, illuminating your whole world.

7.There are two most dazzling rays of light in the world, one is the sun, and the other is the appearance of our efforts.

8.Instead of trying your best to stand out from the crowd, you should try your best to get yourself out of that flock.

9.I like a sentence very much: Life is not to win sympathy by tears, but to win applause by sweat!

10. Be a prudent person, don't overestimate yourself in two years, and don't underestimate yourself in ten years.

11.If someone is strong enough for you to fall, then you show him and you can get up on your own.

12.You have to do your best to be qualified to say that you are unlucky.

13. He is just ambiguous and addicted, but you are distracted.

14. Probably the places that I haven't been to are called far away, and those who haven't gotten them are more memorable.

15. Most things don't feel indifferent after you think about it, but you suddenly understand it after you don't care.

a): There are only three kinds of relationships between people:

1.He scolded me with you.

2.You scolded him with me.

3.I'll scold you with him.

2): It's either an enemy or a friend, it should be wrong, it's not a friend or an enemy, it's right! Enemies must be recognized leniently, and friends must be admitted strictly!

3): Some people's ability to create problems far exceeds their ability to solve problems! This kind of person is better off being an enemy, not a friend!

4): Destroy the enemy, rely on friends. To eliminate friends, it depends on friends' wives. Destroy your friend's wife, it's up to God!

5): A successful life begins with the audience, then the actors, and finally the backstage boss. A life of failure does the opposite!

6) What God means by giving you two hands is: revenge cannot be relied on Him, you have to do it yourself!

Seven): Don't be afraid of hardship, endure hardship for half a lifetime, fear hardship, endure hardship for a lifetime!

8): People who know how to taste don't have to know how to stir-fry, and people who know the road don't have to know how to drive!

9): The terrible thing about stupid people is not that they are stupid, but that they are smart. Stupid people can't do the stupidest things, and the stupidest things are done by smart people!

10): Some people think that modern civilization has abolished cattle and horses and replaced them with automobiles. As everyone knows, modern people have to be a cow and a horse before they can get on the car!

Eleven): Three knives and six eyes do not change color, this is the big hooligan!

Twelve): The iron pestle can be sharpened into a needle, but the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick, the material is not right, no matter how hard you try, it is useless!

13): Like what you like, defeat what you don't like, live what you hate!

14) Know that behind the people are the wise and the aesthete; knows that the one who looks behind the back is a traitor!

15): A truly first-class strong man, he must always maintain his true colors, show people with his true colors, and fight with his true colors, regardless of the times and ups and downs, ups and downs!

16): The first happiness in life is to do what you think you can't do, and the second happiness in life is to do what others think you can't do!

If you're bored, talk to me; Six cents per word, punctuation, half-price discount; More than 1,000 words can be discounted by 20%; Pay first, then chat, and chat when you arrive!

Brother on not QQ is lonely.