Since childhood, there has been no love, insecurity, and mental stress

Some of the fuss. Your mental endurance is too poor, and your mind is too fragile.

No one has been smooth sailing, one of my classmates still returned to his parents after being raised by relatives for 8 years, and there are 4 sisters. I didn't see any major psychological problems with her. But she does have some obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I don't believe that there are people in this society who don't have quirks, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder or anything. Too much stress can easily breed problems.

Obviously, psychological abnormalities are mostly caused by childhood shadows. Your example only reaffirms this dogma.

But from the perspective of childhood, it is obvious that you closed yourself off first, and you were too pessimistic, no one in this world owes anyone, and no one likes to constantly find an iceberg to play against the wall, so I can irresponsibly say that a large part of the cause of the tragedy of that year is on yourself. So I don't like that you keep making excuses, saying that you don't go to class in the second and third years of high school because of obsessive-compulsive disorder, you don't like to talk because of what others do, and it's too ugly to always find reasons for big men.

You see what you actually know, you know that it's not good to meet without greeting, and testing your IQ or something also proves that you do have regrets about the past in it. So you just need to show a little courage, sigh at the past and nothing can change, you have to have the courage to change the status quo.

I have a great way to relieve timidity and excessive nervousness. Insecurity. To put it bluntly, it is the feeling of nervousness, anxiety, and worry, as long as you feel happy and relaxed, there is nothing to be afraid of.

Find someone you have been with for a long time, a parent or partner, and ask him to touch him for at least 10 minutes a day. It can be the head, or anywhere there is direct contact, starting with the head and back. This promotes hormones from the hypothalamus and pituitary gland, making the mind relaxed and pleasant.

Behaviors that have the same effect as stroking are exercise, sex, listening, and talking about pleasant topics.

However, since you are due to a family problem, it is better for a family member to remove it.

Analysis: Hello, for your case, consider the psychological problems caused by long-term family stress.

Suggestions:

Summary. Hello, dear. We'll be happy to answer for you. The lack of security from an early age may be caused by the original family, and a word or an expression from the parents when he was a child may have an impact on the growth of the child, resulting in the child's lack of security, so the child's education is very important.

Sometimes we don't like the way our parents do things, or we don't agree with some of their ideas, so we always warn ourselves that in the future we can't be like our parents, but as we get older, we suddenly find that we are more and more like our father or mother, and this is due to the subtle influence of the local family on themselves.

Hello, dear. We'll be happy to answer for you. The lack of security from an early age may be caused by the original family, and a word or an expression from the parents when he was a child may have an impact on the growth of the child god Yanzi, resulting in a lack of security in the child, so the child's education is very important.

Sometimes we don't like to be like our parents' ways, or we don't agree with some of their ideas, so we always warn ourselves that we can't be like our parents in the future, but as we get older, we suddenly find that we are more and more like our father or mother, and this rotten brother is caused by the subtle influence of the local family on themselves

Hello, dear. We'll be happy to answer for you. The lack of security from an early age may be caused by the original family, and a word or an expression from the parents when he was a child may have an impact on the growth of the child god Yanzi, resulting in a lack of security in the child, so the child's education is very important.

Sometimes we don't like the way our parents do things, or we don't agree with some of their ideas, so we always warn ourselves that in the future we can't be like our parents, but as we get older, we suddenly find that we are more and more like our father or mother, due to the subtle influence of the local family on themselves.

Each of us is born like a blank slate. I painted my own life under the big dye vat of the original family. Education influences our outlook on life, our values, and even our perceptions.

The power of education cannot be underestimated. Maybe some kind of behavior of our parents will affect our lives, for example, you have been naughty since you were a child, and your parents criticize you in front of everyone, maybe you have become silent because of this. Or parents often compare you to the neighbor's children, always complimenting other children in front of you.

From then on, you will have low self-esteem. A word from a parent, or even a lie, can have an impact on a child's development.

Summary. I can feel how much your father has influenced you. But you have to try to be yourself and don't live in the shadows all the time.

Why do you say you've been insecure since childhood? Whenever you feel insecure, tell the teacher about it, and the teacher will help you analyze it.

My mother took me to remarry, and my stepfather beat me since I was a child, and I was very afraid that he would only sleep his own daughter.

My mother took me to remarry, and my stepfather beat me since I was a child, and I was very afraid that he would only love his own daughter.

I don't like to talk, I don't like people who talk a lot, I feel annoyed.

The high number of children is also a kind of sorrow for Chinese families. In fact, I think you should adjust your mentality, no matter what kind of person your stepfather is, you should also try to accept the grinding of your father.

I can feel how much your father has influenced you. But you have to try to be yourself and don't live in the shadows all the time.

Children slowly try to communicate with others, take the initiative to discover the points of others, and slowly come out.

1.When I was a child, I lacked love, and it was easy not to accept myself, or to give up on myself and break the jar, or to work hard to be perfect and excellent, thinking that in this way I could get attention and love. If you always have a lot of doubts and rejections about yourself, it is recommended to read Debbie's "Accept the Imperfect Self" and do the exercises in the book carefully.

Practice is far more important than understanding reason, and the difficult thing is practice, but we must adjust our emotional and behavioral reactions due to lack of love through practice. On this point, you can watch "The Brain and Emotional Life".

2.Accept our resentment, resentment because we want the love of our parents, they are the closest people in our lives, and there is nothing wrong with wanting their love. Be wary of your own guilt, some very good and kind children will have a strong sense of guilt because of their resentment and misbebehavior towards their parents, and this guilt will hurt yourself.

Find someone who is reliable and express your guilt; Or write it down alone, don't hold it in your heart.

3.The original intention of love is not the same as the act of love, try to think about it, the love we have lacked, is it really not a little love? Or is it loving but hurtful in behavior?

If you can find love, accept it, and face up to the hurts, then your heart can be truly softened.

4.The lack of love when I was a child has the most profound impact on intimate relationships. If you find that your adult relationship experience is always problematic, it's important to stop and adjust yourself.

Otherwise, all kinds of things in the relationship will bring new harm. If you want to invest in a new relationship, check out "New Rules: How to Make Your Sweetheart Fall in Love with You", this book may not really help you find a sweetheart, but following most of the advice in this book will at least help you avoid a bad relationship.

Hello, seeing your text, I want to say to you, along the way, it's not easy, it's hard!

In the face of your own insecurity, the feeling of gain and loss, seeing that you can be aware of your feelings is already a very important first step. I think we can provoke more thoughts and possibilities from the following three disturbances. Expect to open up more possibilities;

1.Childhood experiences, while important to us, are not childhood experiences that determine our future. Childhood experiences are not something we can choose, we can only find a better way to adapt and survive.

Suffering from gains and losses is also a risk-averse skill for us, and we accept it slowly.

2.The lack of a sense of security, since you find your own lack, then go to the slow guess hole to make up for it. Because an adult's sense of security begins with financial independence and comes from one's earning capacity.

A sense of security can also feel like a sense of control over one's current life, and with this sense of control over oneself, there is a greater sense of security.

3.The gains and losses in the relationship will make both yourself and the other party more sensitive and sad, and there is a sense of control and suffocation. Therefore, first sort out yourself, find your own direction in life, be physically and mentally independent, and increase your sense of security through one growth trajectory after another.

Let yourself be more directional and independent in the relationship, and the intimacy will be smoother and sweeter.

The past cannot be changed, and if you grasp the present, you will grasp the future. From now on, step by step into your own heart, build your own self-confidence, and manage your own future. Bless you. All the best.

Excessive trust and tolerance towards strangers.

Excessive dependence and control over intimacy.

It is not easy to establish intimate relationships with people, and there is a siege in my heart.

The people on the outside can't get in your heart, and you won't let the people on the inside let them out.

Family-wise. In fact, the root cause of the problem of lack of security is the harm caused by the original family.

Subtly affects a person's growth, I can say that I am an insecure person, but what I lack is the security of being afraid of separation.

Because my parents loved me very much, but the two of them didn't get along, and it was common for them to quarrel and fight cold wars, so I grew up afraid that they would be separated, and that thought gave me a character that longed for wholeness, even if it was broken. So much so that after they decided to separate, I often thought about suicide, because I felt that a string in my heart was broken, but some things were cleared after they got through.

In terms of making friends.

Decide which friend is trustworthy, will be honest with him without reservation, and will help him without hesitation when he encounters problems.

However, this sincerity needs to be rewarded with equal status.

will secretly ask the other party to value himself as well, and look at his friendship attitude sensitively. So making friends with insecure people can be called a sweet burden.

Love aspect. This aspect is the most revealing of whether and to what extent you are insecure. Because love is the one that gives the most and is the most vulnerable to hurt. Insecure people rarely trust each other, so even if the other person reports your trip from time to time, you will still worry about whether you will be with the opposite sex or him.

Personally, I think that this kind of behavior towards love should not be out of love for each other at first, but just the idea that "I decided to let you into my siege, so you don't want to go out". To use an inappropriate analogy is like being the most dangerous prisoner in prison. So keep an eye on him at all times for fear that he will escape from prison.

But I actually think insecure people are cute.

After giving him enough security, he will rely on you and trust you wholeheartedly, and will never hurt you. Like the little fox in The Little Prince. You come to see me at four o'clock every day, and from three o'clock, I start to feel happy.

Over time, you have domesticated me. You're the only one in my world.

There is always a kind of uncertainty in the heart of external things, there will be a fear of certain things, and I am not good at accepting new things and are used to following the rules! He is not good at talking in front of outsiders, he is very well-behaved, he is always silent, he is afraid that he will not speak right, and he does not dare to express his thoughts loudly. Sometimes I don't dare to express my true thoughts to my family, I procrastinate in doing things, I don't dare to speak out when I have problems, and I am used to suffering silently.

Treat everyone with a good temper, as the saying goes, a good old man never dares to refute others, and would rather be wronged than say no loudly! I like to stay at home or in a place I am more familiar with, and I am timid and indecisive in doing things! Overly sensitive to anything!

Can't express, won't take the initiative: get along with friends will not take the initiative to pull into the relationship, always expect others to act first, for fear that their likes will disturb others and bring trouble to others. I won't take the initiative to contact old friends, for fear that others are busy and only I will disturb others.

I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, and I often can't sleep because of a little thing. Because your original family didn't give you enough security when you were a child, you have been careful no matter what you do, for fear that you will make others unhappy if you do something wrong, and others will close the door a little louder, and you think it will be because he hates me. In life, you think too much about others and ignore your true feelings.