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It is difficult for a Qing official to decide family affairs, because every family has a scripture that is difficult to read. That's why there is a home and everything is prosperous.
In fact, dealing with conflicts between families is often not solved by reason, but by emotion. Because in China, it is about emotion, reason, and law, and even more so in the family. Feelings and blood ties cannot be extinguished, so the solution of many problems cannot be simply based on reasoning.
Take the situation in your family as an example, your sister lives in her mother's house after getting married, generally speaking, this situation is less, but you can't say whether it's right or wrong, it depends on the situation. I don't know what the relationship between you and your sister is, if the relationship is good, you can talk about each other's thoughts, how you think about your future life, family, children's education, etc., because it is impossible to live in your mother's house all the time. Is it because my brother-in-law's family is poor and he can't afford to buy a house now, so he lives in his mother's house, or because of the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Or is it something else. You need to find out about this. Is the brother-in-law unwilling to buy a house or can't afford it?
What are the reasons for not wanting to buy a house, and whether you can't afford to buy a house and whether you have worked hard to take on this responsibility, these must be clear. Sister, they live at home, how is the relationship with your parents, are there any disagreements or contradictions?
If you don't have a good relationship with your sister, then try to have a good relationship, think more from the other party's point of view, tolerate each other more, and try to understand each other. If my sister is quite unreasonable, then you have to get along in another way. People's hearts are flesh and blood, and there will always be feelings.
From this sister's point of view, you must first understand why she is doing this, whether she is forced by life or what the reason is.
From your parents' point of view, parents will only think about making their children good and not being wronged, so they won't care if they are wronged, so they will be willing to let your sister live at home and see their grandchildren every day, they will be happier. They will only give to their children, and will not think about taking, and they pity the hearts of parents all over the world.
You have to understand the hearts of your parents, if you do this in the future, I don't think your parents will say anything, this is love for children. The reason why your parents blame you is because they think it's normal to do this, that it's good for their children, that's why they say that about you.
So try to understand your sister and brother-in-law, and even more so your parents.
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I understand your feelings very well, there are indeed many inconveniences and contradictions when a family lives together, and it is indeed against our tradition that a daughter is married and lives in her mother's house with her son-in-law and children.
If you look at this from the perspective of qualifications, you really don't have the right to talk about it. Home is your parents' home, if you are an adult, you are just boarding in this home, the same identity as your sister and brother-in-law, you can live, why can't they live at home?
My sister lives at home and your parents agree that they live at home, there must be a reason why they have to live at home. If there is no such reason, they are all adults, who would want to live with their parents?
You object to your sister and brother-in-law living at home, it may be that they are causing inconvenience to your life or that the way they treat your parents makes you disgusted.
The way they treat your parents makes you unhappy, but your parents are tolerant, so you can leave it alone and focus more on your own affairs.
If it is causing you inconvenience in your life, my advice is that you should be patient. Living with anyone is inclusive, and you may face a situation where you will live with a large family in the future, so use this as an opportunity to exercise yourself.
Of course, if you can't bear it, then it is recommended that you move out and live quietly.
If you are still a minor, if they disturb your rest and study, I suggest that you must talk to your parents and sister so that they can minimize the impact on you.
In dealing with the relationship between people, harmony lies in the pattern, and contradiction lies in calculation. It's only been a few years to be close to your sister, and in a few years you may have your own little family. If you look back on the present in the future, you may feel regret and blame yourself for not opening your heart to get along with your sister.
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The next time you encounter this situation, you can go, but you can take the children back to your parents' house with you. Then when his mother asked, you said that your son told me to go. It definitely works.
Of course, his sister's living in your house has really affected your life, but it seems that there is no way to do it. Unless she helps out. But it depends on whether your sister will understand the situation, because she has affected your life.
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I think that when I encounter this situation, I should talk to my husband's sister, and tell her euphemistically that it is very inconvenient to live together now, and she will also be gossiped about by the neighbors, which is not good for my sister. I think it can also be said that children should be more with their grandparents, which helps to communicate feelings, including the problem of children's schooling, in short, living together is very inconvenient for both adults and children.
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I think my husband's sister is married and lives at home with her children, probably because she is homesick. We don't want to have any complaints, this may be the depth of the relationship between the husband and the sister, let's not get involved in this kind of thing, just let things go naturally, and let the sister have a very good impression of us.
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I think you should sit down with your husband and talk about it first, ask and see why your sister is married and still live at home with the children, see if you encounter any difficulties, what problems you have, and then you can help them solve them together, and after helping them solve the problems, your sister should also take the children back to her husband's house to live.
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If she really affects your life, you can talk to your husband's sister to see if she understands the reason, to see if she will move out to live, if she has to live in your house, you can take you and your children back to her parents' house, if his mother asks what is going on, you can say that your husband will not let you go home.
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Summary. Hello, it is not right to take the children to live in the mother's house for a long time after getting married.
Hello, it is not right to take the children to live in the mother's house for a long time after getting married.
Because since you are married, you have a new home with your husband.
In this case, it is a bit bad to live with a child and go back to your parents' home.
If you let outsiders know, you will feel that you have no relationship as a couple.
Of course, every family has its own family's situation, it is possible that your family is like this, your husband is away all the year round, there is no way to take care of you at home, you have children and you can't live and go back to your parents' home, this is also possible.
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Summary. Hello, it's my pleasure to answer your questions. 1. If a couple has a good relationship, then they must be content to stay in their own small home, and they will not always run to other places, nor will they always want to run to their parents' house.
However, if a woman always runs to her parents' house with her children and goes back to her parents' house to live, she will inevitably be pointed at by her neighbors and suffer all kinds of criticism. 2. If the wife often takes the children back to her parents' house, she will become more alienated and distant because there is no opportunity to communicate with the feelings between the two people, which will affect the relationship between the husband and wife. 3. Life is like this, full of contradictions and irreconcilable pros and cons.
In many cases, you can't have it both ways. A woman may be tempted to go back to her mother's home and feel what it feels like to be a child she was pampered as a child, but she must not forget her new identity as a wife and mother. Therefore, run your own family well, or don't take your children back to your parents' house too often.
Hello, are you a mother or a father of your child?
Hello, it's my pleasure to answer your questions. 1, if a couple has a good relationship, then they must be content to stay in their own small home, and they will not always run to other places, and Youming will not always want to run to their parents' house. However, if a woman always runs to her parents' house with her children and goes back to her parents' house to live, she will inevitably be pointed at by her neighbors and suffer all kinds of criticism.
2. If the wife often takes the children back to her parents' house, she will become more alienated and alienated because there is no good opportunity to communicate with the relationship between the two people, which will affect the feelings between the husband and wife. 3. Life is like this, full of contradictions and irreconcilable pros and cons. In many cases, you can't have it both ways.
A woman may be tempted to go back to her mother's home and feel what it feels like to be a child she was pampered as a child, but she must not forget her new identity as a wife and mother. Therefore, run your own family well, or don't take your children back to your parents' house too often. Thank you for your trust, the above is my reply, I hope it can help you, I wish you a happy life
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You can talk to your sister directly, and tell your thoughts directly to the rental bureau, for example, Pan Xiang has a strong explanation of the reason that the two sisters should not live in their parents' house after marriage, and the embarrassment you have been in front of your brother-in-law in the past few years. See what she has to say. It's best to be able to reach an agreement, and don't be annoyed if you can't reach an agreement, and accept the reality calmly.
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Be sure to communicate in a timely manner, let your sister take the initiative to move out, and find a suitable opportunity to solve their problems.
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You can directly ask your brother-in-law when he will buy a house, he has been married for so many years now, and it is not a problem not to buy a house, buy a house for his sister and let his sister move to a new house.
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Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, anyway, think about everything in advance, try not to let your husband be difficult and suffer in the middle. After all, my wife is a relative, but my sister and mother are also relatives.
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Hello, maybe they are just like looking at their mother, and you can go out on a trip with your husband to relax.
Think about it first, whether you are really unreasonable Whether it is really excessive, if it is really too much, take a little softness to see your husband's reaction, if it is just a general little awkwardness, it is recommended to talk to your husband directly, spread it out.
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