What to do if you feel guilty about not breastfeeding?

Since I became a mother and began to pay attention to and learn about pregnancy and childbirth, I often feel with trepidation that the standard of qualified motherhood shaped by advertising, public discussion and public discussion has been raised to a point that is beyond the reach of a normal person. I also feel guilty about not having enough breast milk, I feel guilty about not being able to buy a school district house, and I am ......guilty about not having the money to study abroadIt's okay to say this one or two, and people who have just become mothers will inevitably have the pride of buying the best things in the world and letting their children choose at will. But how many mothers can be independent, wealthy, time-saving, and born cows at the age of giving birth to their first child?

Raising the mother's qualification line to the point of superhuman will seriously hit the self-confidence of ordinary mothers, so why bother. If humans were really that delicate, they would have been extinct long ago in the age of apes. How high should this qualification standard be, I think, as long as you can give the average level of food, clothing, housing and emotional investment to the peers around your child within the scope of your ability, you are already a qualified mother; Being able to support and encourage children's talents, without creating obstacles or indiscriminate strikes, is simply an outstanding good mother.

But the mother herself has to ask herself, her career is not a few years old, how should she balance her own development and raising her children? After all, time and resources are limited, and if you give more to your children, you will have less for yourself; If you want to continue to move forward in your career after returning to work, you have to leave enough time and energy for yourself to develop in the workplace, and you have to invest less in your children. In the end, you have to find a balance between the two, either you have 60 points for your child and 40 points, or you have 40 points for your child 60 points, and both have to score 100 points, the pressure is too great, don't expect extravagance. Once you've found a balance, it's okay to move forward with the goals you've set, and stop measuring whether your decision is right or not through the eyes of others.

If you are determined to give priority to your baby, you will sacrifice your personal development and devote yourself to your child's nutrition and education, and do everything yourself; If you are determined to meet your own priorities, you will be weaned as soon as possible and change the baby's milk powder back to work. Suffering from gains and losses, and being in a bad mood, children will feel it. <>

I don't have much milk, I've never experienced any bath squirting, hearing my child crying and squirting, and I've never had the feeling of swelling milk in the middle of the night. Of course, I didn't insist very much. The bear child has been mixed feeding with breast milk + formula milk since birth, and in seven months, I was officially weaned off the milk that I could only save enough for one meal a day.

I was so happy that I went out with my husband for a big drink that day. For me, breastfeeding is not a pleasure at all, and it is not pleasant to be physically and mentally obsessed with the amount of milk. After weaning (I should say that my milk supply has plummeted to barely pumping once a day), I have more time and energy to interact with my child.

The bear child inherited his father's slender body and never became as fat and strong as the legendary whole milk powder baby. He is very energetic, intelligent and healthy, and he has only had one illness so far, and he recovered himself in two days. I don't think that not breastfeeding means I'm sorry for my baby.

My mother didn't give me enough breast milk, but she gave me more precious spiritual wealth. What I want to say is that the most important thing as a mother is to be happy, children can read our emotions, we are happy, they will be happy. <>

Judging from the communication with the mothers I have been in contact with, whether the child is healthy or not, the most important thing is congenital. A child who is born at term and is of moderate weight is in better health than a child who is overweight or very light at birth; Then the amount of exercise and parenting style all account for a certain proportion, and whether or not you have breast milk is not a particularly important thing. My own experience and that of my friends (because we are all working women, most of them have to give up breast milk early) is that we can run outdoors for two hours a day, eat a balanced diet, choose the right milk powder supplement for our children, and keep our children healthy and healthy.

When exercising outdoors, I often see mothers who are afraid that their children's clothes will be dirty and fall, and they are not allowed to play, and they are not allowed to play, so they let them take a toy and fiddle on the clean ground, and wear it tightly, it looks good, and the amount of exercise is seriously lacking, so it is better to run around and play in the mud and sand The child is strong and flexible. The hospital has a very detailed table of nutritional ingredients for complementary foods, so just follow it. <>

Why do I feel guilty? How can we heal our guilt?

First of all, guilt is a very normal emotion, breast milk is the best food that a mother can give her child, thinking that she can't give it and decides not to give it, and it is a normal thing to feel guilty. Why do we feel guilty? Out of our love for our children.

Of course, the presence of this emotion is uncomfortable, but it does not mean that you can feel at ease by fighting guilt, or even against people who promote the benefits of breastfeeding.

Embracing this normal emotion, to the person who makes this emotion --- your child, to open up to why you did not continue to breastfeed him, your difficulties, your thoughts, your difficulties, you will promise to make up for it with other aspects to do better, this is the right way to heal. After doing this, you will find that you have a new connection with your child, and you can let go of this matter and be happy with your child, which is more important than anything else.

There is a mother, because of a misunderstanding to cut off the opportunity to breastfeed, after knowing the truth, regret it, want the child to relapse but the child does not accept it at all, she cried a lot, became a breastfeeding knowledge of the mother, and is very enthusiastic to guide the novice mother breastfeeding problems. For her, this is a form of healing, and every time she helps someone, she experiences less pain.