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There is an old saying that "where parents are, there is home; Parents go, family scattered. "What it is said is: when the parents are alive, the brothers and sisters often move around, and when the parents are gone, the brothers and sisters gradually become estranged for various reasons, or even stop interacting.
This kind of thing is true, and sometimes it is not uncommon. Why is this happening?
Children in many families choose to stay with them because they want to serve their parents. Even after starting a family, they will take turns to go back to take care of them and ask for warmth to their parents. Even when working in other places and when the parents are there, no matter how far away the siblings are, they have to go home to visit their parents in etiquette, especially during traditional festivals such as the Spring Festival and their parents' birthdays.
In this way, the parents become the relationship between the siblings, and the bond is always there. When the parents are gone, the children no longer have to fulfill their filial piety, so they go to their own business. During the holidays, I went from going home to travel everywhere, calling friends to enjoy life.
When your parents are there, your home is there." Without parents, I always feel like I don't have a home, and when I go back, I become a guest. Even the old house of the parents was sold, and the people who traveled far away had to stay at the house of their brothers and sisters when they went home, which felt very inconvenient and would cause trouble for them, so they were embarrassed to go back, and over time they became estranged.
When the parents are there, if there are some conflicts between the siblings, the parents will always reconcile with each other. Children often hinder the affection of their parents, and hide their grievances in their hearts. Even if the conflict is deep, parents will come forward to mediate, and even sacrifice their own interests to get the matter resolved.
Therefore, parents are usually the mediator of children's conflicts, and for the sake of family harmony, parents will always go to great lengths to resolve conflicts between siblings at the expense of their own interests. But when the parents are gone, some of the brothers and sisters will fight because of the long-standing contradictions, and the brothers will fight each other, fratricidal, and even die of old age.
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In fact, this situation is really normal, and when the parents are there, they will take time to visit their parents, but when the parents are gone, they will put more time and energy into their own family.
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It shows that their usual relationship is very bad, and they each have their own ideas, so they don't interact with each other after the death of their parents.
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This is normal because siblings also have their own families, and after the death of their parents, they will devote their energy to their own family.
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Because everyone has their own family life, there is no need to contact each other every day to understand each other's living conditions.
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I still strongly disagree. It's just too cold. After all, there is still a blood relationship.
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is because such a family already has very deep family conflicts. That's why this happens. These issues should be addressed.
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When my parents passed away, why did some of my siblings stop interacting? The answer reveals the reality of society.
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Even siblings of the same mother, once their parents are gone, their feelings will become rusty, and in the end, they will not even communicate much. In fact, there are many reasons for this, and the old farmers in the village summarized the following points:
First of all, if the parents are there, the home will not be dispersed, and when the parents are gone, the home will be dispersed.
When the parents are still alive, although the brothers and sisters have already married and each has their own small family, Tong's lead but belongs to the parents of this "everyone" is still there, the children will often go home to see, brothers and sisters have close contacts, which is conducive to emotional contact. But once the parents are gone, then "everyone" will no longer exist, and everyone will be busy fighting for their own small family. If there is less contact, the relationship will fade, and slowly I will not pay attention to this family affection, and devote more time to my family.
Secondly, parents will be suspicious of the thoughts of the elderly.
Why? In fact, the relationship between some siblings is not really good, which is caused by many reasons, such as the partiality of parents. But because both parents are still alive, even if there is psychological displeasure between siblings, they will not show it.
But once the parents are gone, they don't have to worry so much anymore. Especially brothers and sisters who have had entanglements and problems before, it is easy to explode because of small things, and in the end they don't get along.
In the end, they are busy with each other's lives, and there is less contact.
When the parents are still alive, even if they are busy, they will take the time to go home and have a look. But my parents are gone, but life goes on. Most of the children of people of this age have already started a family and have grandchildren themselves.
There are children to take care of at home, and they are older, and their bodies are not as tough as before, so naturally there are fewer brothers and sisters.
In addition, many people now marry away from home, or move to the city to live, although they have a car, but it is inconvenient after all. It's not important things, such as red and white ceremonies, it's hard to get together again. But when we get together, we don't have any common topics, and we can't talk about them together.
It is also because of these reasons that the feelings slowly fade.
Summary
Parents are here, and there is still a way to go in life; When your parents go, there is only one way back in life. However, this is not the case, some families are still very harmonious when their parents die. And such families have a common characteristic, that is, when the parents are gone, there is still someone in the family who plays the role of "backbone", and he (she) will bring the brothers and sisters together.
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The family is an important social unit, and the affection between family members cannot be ignored. However, when a parent in the family dies, the structure of the family changes dramatically, and these changes can lead to estrangement between siblings. The main reasons are as follows:
Unfair distribution of family responsibilities: When dealing with inheritance and family matters, unfair distribution can occur between siblings. Some siblings may feel that they have contributed more to the family and therefore want more inheritance or control over family decisions.
This unfair distribution has the potential to create a divide between siblings.
Different directions in life: Siblings are all independent individuals who may pursue different dreams in life. Siblings may have different career paths, hobbies, family status, and quality of life.
This difference can lead to less bond between siblings, as they may not share common topics or common interests. Answering hall.
Shifting affection: When a parent dies, the relationship between siblings may no longer be centered on the parent. They may develop closer relationships through their families and close friends. This transfer of affection can lead to a decrease in the bond between siblings.
Strong emotional conflicts: Siblings may have long-term emotional conflicts that can lead to estrangement between siblings. This conflict can be more severe when a parent dies and can lead to less bond between siblings.
In conclusion, the estrangement between siblings after the death of a parent in the family is often the product of many factors. Family members should try to understand each other's positions and feelings, and maintain family relationships through communication and mutual support.
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There is such a sentence in the movie "My Brothers and Sisters": Brothers and sisters, originally snowflakes falling from the sky, no one knew anyone, but after landing, they melted into one, formed ice, turned into water, and were forever inseparable.
Once, we all thought that blood was thicker than water, and the relationship between brothers and sisters could never be broken. But in reality, this is not the case.
When they were young, their siblings grew up together in a family that met and shared the same mind, fighting and loving each other. When they reach adulthood, the brothers and sisters have their own careers and families, and correspondingly, the relationship is unconsciously estranged.
This is contrary to the parents' first smile and heartfelt admonition, they originally hoped that the siblings could support and take care of each other for the rest of their lives. But I don't know that in some families, with the death of their parents, the family is also separated, and the siblings have broken off contact.
Why is this happening? The truth is poignant.
First, the injustice of parents has caused indifference between siblings.
Although, in the eyes of many parents, they think that there are multiple siblings in the family, and when they leave, they can take care of each other, but this is really just the wishful thinking of parents.
In some families with many children, the relationship between siblings is not as good as parents expected. When the parents are there, everyone gathers together for the New Year's holidays with the core of their parents.
It looks like it's funny and lively, but if the parents leave, the family will have no dominant force. If the brothers and sisters usually have average feelings, neglect contact, and no one organizes a party and reunion, they will basically disperse.
In particular, some parents do not treat their children equally, and will give special preference to one child, which will also cause the inner opinions of other siblings, and they will maintain a basic balance during their lifetime due to respect for their parents.
Once the parents leave, the favored child loses his support, and if he does not usually have a good relationship with his siblings, it is basically more difficult to contact the relationship at this time.
In other families, the division of property when the parents leave is not fair enough, causing conflicts between siblings. After all, in the face of money and interests, there are not many people who can be as calm as water.
The failure of parents to treat every child fairly and impartially is the most direct reason why siblings are reluctant to interact with each other after they leave.
All feelings in this world pay attention to the results of karma, and if the cause of "harmony and fraternity" is not planted, how can it be possible to bear "the fruit of a lifetime"?
Second, there are factors that differ in the economic status of siblings.
Children grow up in the same family and in the same environment when they are young, but everyone's talents are different.
Some children are focused on schoolwork, others are more playful, and although they have the same starting point, the results are very different.
Some people have carved out a life path for themselves because of their studies, some people have lived a different life because of marriage, and the lives of brothers and sisters cannot be exactly the same, there are always people who are good and some people who are slightly worse.
Once such a situation occurs between people, it is easy to cause psychological imbalance, which is unconscious.
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Unlike today's only child, the older generation basically has four or five children in their families. Because at that time, there was not necessarily much investment in the education of children, and children could become the human capital of the family when they grow up. In order to bring more profit to the family, it was very rare in the era of only children.
However, we will find that there are many siblings in the family, and when the parents die, they will gradually become estranged from the other party, and they can only get together during the New Year or the holidays, and there is no other contact.
The main reason is that parents are the premise of the family, and children need to take care of them when they grow up. So when his parents died, his daily quest was over, and it seemed that the most important reason for getting together had been lost. Therefore, we can only consider getting together during the New Year or festivals, and once again experience the time when we lived together as children, and feel that family affection produces beauty for each other.
Although parents look at each child in the same way, everyone has a different future due to their different personalities. When the economic difference between siblings is too different, it will also lead to the fact that the good friends she often meets in life are different, resulting in no common topics between them.
Maybe when his parents are there, he will still take care of each other, but once his parents are gone, siblings may also be estranged from each other because they have no common topic. Therefore, the difference in economic development is a very important factor, after all, the circle is different, and the forced integration will also be very damaged, and there will even be contradictions due to the difference in the three views between each other.
Most people will get married when they grow up, they will have their own small family, and they will also shoulder the obligation of caring for two families because they meet their lovers. Therefore, the key to him at this time is no longer in the brotherhood between each other, but in the affection between parents and children.
But once the parents leave, they may be able to focus on their other half's home or their own small family. There is not much time and energy to be spent on one's brothers, which is the main reason why the relationship between them is getting weaker and weaker, after all, people need to think about their own lives.
In fact, everyone misses the good times when they were young and New Year, when everyone got together, this is also the good time when they grow up, and they can no longer go home, they can only become their own memory, in fact, the main reason why everyone gets together at that time is because of the association of parents, but when we grow up, we will not be able to get together for various reasons.
Maybe it's because you're busy with work and don't have time to go home often, or maybe it's because of your schoolwork problems, so you have to stay away from home and spend this period of family reunion alone. But we have to say that once the parents are gone, in fact, siblings may also become more and more alienated by the loss of the most important connection.
Actually, that's exactly what happened. Because these brothers and sisters have their own homes, then they must regard their own homes as the center, and they generally don't socialize if they are fine.
Not necessarily!
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