What should I do if my cousin is very controlling? My brother is very controlling, what should I do?

Don't have a head-on conflict when you usually come into contact, and try to have less contact with him.

In short, a person who is too controlling will want everything in the outside world to work according to his needs and his will, and if it does not meet his needs and his will, he will force you to change, thinking that you must conform to his will and requirements.

When you get along with someone who has a strong desire to control, you will have a strong sense of oppression, depression and suffocation. You will feel as if your existence is always under some kind of threat, that you cannot stretch out to be yourself, that your good or bad is completely in the hands of another person.

In many cases, you will feel that you have a lot of problems that you must address in order to get along well or be qualified to exist. Yes, since when did you become a person with a lot of problems, and strangely, the other person seems to be more anxious than you want to solve your problems.

If you turn a blind eye to your problems, the other person will be angry and think that you are hindering him, influencing him, and not satisfying him.

Only when you are anxious and afraid of your problems, the other person seems to become normal, and when you become very dependent on the other person, listen to him, and become very obedient, the other person will be very satisfied with you. It's just that over time, you may become depressed.

How to get along with a control freak is really a headache: if you don't listen to him, show his opinion, he will threaten you with all kinds of means, fill you with fear, and even kidnap you with feelings, make you feel guilty, in short, you feel very uneasy.

But if you listen to him, you will be very depressed, and you will feel that you are completely deprived of your will, and you are not respected, and no one cares about your real joys, sorrows, and feelings, and even you become timid, cowardly, and cowardly.

Don't be afraid, the feelings you experience in your dealings with people who are too controlling are very real, and the reason why you experience them is precisely because these people who are too controlling throw at you the emotional experiences that they avoid in their hearts, such as fear, weakness, powerlessness, timidity, and cowardice.

Because they are unwilling to face this part of themselves, they always try to throw it out to others to deal with these problems. The result is a way of adapting to the environment by dealing with other people's problems to avoid one's own problems.

He should be told not to interfere with other people often, that everyone has their own freedoms and should not be interfered with.

You have to break free from his control and refuse to do what he wants. Stay away from him and avoid serious harm to yourself.

Try to minimize contact with him, don't appear in front of him, and let him be like a clown, and imagine it for himself.

If you are very controlling, then you should have less contact with him, lest he control your life.

Keep your distance from him, have your own ideas and opinions, communicate with him, and express that you don't want him to be like this.

Tell him directly that he has no right to control others, and he doesn't like to be controlled by others, so stay away from him if he can't.

My cousin has what my cousin wants to live, and he also has his own unique character, so he doesn't have to interfere.

Insist on yourself, if he insists on forcing you to do something, you just disagree and ignore him.

I suggest you stay away from your cousin and don't have too much contact with him, so that he can't control you.

You can talk to him first, tell him how you feel in your heart, and let him try to understand you from your point of view.

???I've seen ...... ask questions about parents, lovers, and whateverMy cousin may not have seen a few ...... throughout the yearWhatever, ignore him except for the necessary occasions.

My brother's desire to control is very strong, in fact, it is also a kind of love for you, I am afraid that you will be deceived, and when you are older, you will slowly, out of your brother's control, and you will miss it at that time. This is family affection.

My brother has a strong desire to control, so I can have a good chat with my brother, and I hope my brother can change some of his behaviors and not be so stubborn.

If your brother is particularly controlling, I think you should keep a certain distance from your brother, so that you can get rid of your brother's control of you out of sight and out of mind.

If your brother is very controlling, then you can choose to separate from him, or you can choose to talk to him more about your thoughts and let him change it.

Try to get rid of your brother's control and make your life a little freer.

You can talk to your parents about his practice, and let your parents persuade and educate him.

If my brother is very controlling, of course he wants to resist, and if necessary, he can find his parents to come forward to solve this problem.

You may feel uncomfortable sometimes when your brother is very controlling, for example, if you want to go out and play, you can also communicate well.

Your brother controls you for your own good, he just wants to discipline you so that you can step into the right path in the future, and you will be very grateful to your brother in the future.

I think if you have a strong desire to control, you may be more anxious if you resist him, so you still have to communicate calmly.

If my brother is very controlling, I will try to make him angry as little as possible, and I will not be angry with him, if he bullies me.

I would tell him directly what I really thought about him, and tell him that it was not good for him to do this, and if he didn't listen to me, I would tell my parents about the situation.

At this time, we must think in our hearts that what he did has nothing to do with us, and that he is just our older brother.

I have a cousin who is very controlling, and the way I resist him is to find out the reason for his strong desire to control, and help him in a targeted manner

1. The psychology of the weak:

In a relationship, sometimes the strong partner may not be as strong as it seems, but may be inferior to the other party financially and physically. Because you are not as good as you want in all aspects, it is easy to have low self-esteem, anxiety, suspicion, jealousy, and being in this negative energy for a long time, it is easy to get out of control.

For example, some men can't get a woman to love him on their own, so they are angry, so they can only use violence to make others submit to themselves.

In life, you will find that people who have a strong desire to control are likely to be some weak people. People who are really strong show humility and gentleness.

2. Insecurity:

The more insecure you are, the more you have a desire to control.

In life, some girls like to look at the boy's mobile phone at any time, and they can watch it at any time when they have nothing to do. But the question of whether to look at it should be dialectical, it is certain that if it is a monogamous boy, it will definitely not mind you looking at the phone, and there is also a situation related to the individual's attachment type, if the boy is an avoidant attachment style person, he will not like you to look at the phone, he needs an independent space.

No matter what the reason, you still have to communicate with the other party before you plan to watch it, even if the other party allows it, it is a bit of an excessive abuse of authority to view anytime and anywhere, which is a manifestation of excessive control and reflects the inner insecurity.

True security is based on self-acceptance and self-confidence. It's not just a matter of looking at your phone, it's a problem that doesn't want to face yourself, is afraid of losing, is lonely, is financially struggling, and just wants to control others to put yourself at ease is not going to solve the fundamental problem. The more controlling you are, the more anxious you will be, and it won't help things.

At this time, only self-improvement can make oneself have a sense of security, and when you are better and more confident, the sense of security will naturally come.

3. Related to the type of attachment:

Attachment is divided into: avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, and secure attachment.

People with anxious attachment are very controlling.

As I said earlier, a person with an avoidant attachment does not like to be looked at by his phone (but it does not mean that people who do not like to be looked at are avoidant attachment types), and people who like to look at their phones are also likely to have an anxious attachment style, and their attachment to others is always anxious, and they are always worried that they will be lost.

When an anxious attachment meets an avoidant attachment, there is destined to be one chasing and the other hiding. Looking at the mobile phone is just an appearance, reflecting that the two sides do not understand and accept each other, and one supervisor and one supervised will have problems sooner or later.

Secure attachment is the best, which means that the person has been loved enough since childhood, and has been loved just right. So, when you grow up, you feel more secure.

My cousin is very controlling, so I have to talk to him well, ask him not to interfere in my affairs, and try to keep my distance from him.

Your cousin is very controlling, so you have to choose to stay away from him, and if he really interferes in your affairs, you have to talk to him well.

I would choose to leave him and no longer be in his sight, so naturally I would not be able to impose the desire for control on me.

You can choose to dissuade him, work with him to find the cause of his desire to control, and help him change himself.

If the desire to control is strong, then I will choose to leave him for a while, which is good for him and me.

Keep your cousin at arm's length and let him have as little contact with your private affairs as possible, so he can't interfere.

You just tell him bluntly, see what he says, if he doesn't listen, then there is no way, let's go farther.

I'll keep my distance from her first, take the initiative to talk to him, ask him why he feels this way, and solve the problem together.

Don't be so extreme, find a time to sit down and have a good chat with him, say what is in your heart, then look at his attitude, and then make plans at the end.

You should stay away from your cousin, because being around someone who is very controlling is a very tiring and annoying thing.

You should talk to your cousin and tell her that everyone has their own life and that it is not right to impose your own ideas on others.

Calmly communicate with your cousin and tell her that it is not right to be too controlling, and it will bring her a lot of unnecessary troubles in her later life.

You should have a good talk with your cousin. It's okay for people to have a proper desire for control, but too much control can make the people around them feel uncomfortable.

The reason for being in control is insecurity. Try to build trust with her, give your cousin a sense of security, and then try to communicate with her and tell her that everyone loves her.

Control and being too strong is mainly insecure, you have to talk to her well, control and too strong are not good for yourself and others.

Talk to your cousin and enlighten her well, telling her that being too controlling is not a good thing and will cause a lot of trouble for both yourself and your lover.

Too much control is not a good thing, you can talk to her more, too much control is mostly insecure, recommend more positive movies and books to her to read.

You should have a good talk with her, face up to the problem with her, and explain to her that this kind of behavior is bad and will cause great harm to others and yourself.

The feeling is that my cousin has to take care of everything and ask everything. But my cousin is okay, although he is very controlling, he is always careful to preach. Every time he tried to persuade me to do something, he would put the stakes in front of me from the other person's point of view, and I would choose.

The process of persuasion, he will try to use: "I personally think""I suggest""Okay?" ""What do you think?""These are the more euphemistic words to organize my speech.

Because preaching with an uncorrespondingly identities is itself a kind of impolite and strong violation!! And trying to control a person is taken for granted by relatives, but it is actually a great crime!! You never understand the pain, helplessness, low self-esteem of the puppet!

In fact, his cousin's desire for control came from his father's shadow, and he hoped to use his lifelong education to dilute the family's erroneous youth education. And he didn't want me to be driven crazy by someone who was controlling.

He just wants to be friends with me, the kind of kinship. If you meet a cousin who is really controlling, my advice is to be polite and give him advice directly, so that he can reflect on his persuasion methods.

What I often use is the heart-to-heart strategy. For example: If you were me and I treat you with this attitude every day, what would you do?

Then list his representative words for each time, and complain one by one. Your cousin may have been influenced by his parents, that is, absolute control, parental control was imposed on him, he vented on you, or another reason: lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem.

For this kind of thing, you have to draw a clear line, that is, your cousin is your cousin, you are you, you have to be firm, try to talk to your parents first, and see what they think, after all, your parents care about kinship very much. In short, communication is to find a quiet place, speak softly, be kind, polite and polite, and happily express your heart and look forward to and suggest the other party to say their reasons for doing things, evaluation, and ways to improve. That's what will be rewarded.

Of course, if you choose to talk to the other party in a low voice, and the other party is still arrogant and unreasonable, I generally choose to ignore such people.