Mandarin Fun Fact, because the joke made by Mandarin is 200 words

A Chinese teacher from Shandong read aloud an ancient poem by Lu You entitled "Wo Chun" to the students and asked the students to dictate it.

The Chinese teacher reads aloud as follows: One student dictated as follows.

Wo Chun" "I'm Stupid".

Dark plum and ghostly flowers, I have no culture.

Lying on the branch and hating the bottom, My IQ is very low, and I am like water in the distance, If you want to ask me who I am, it is easy to see through the spring green. A big stupid donkey.

The shore is green, I am a donkey, the shore is green, I am a donkey, the shore is green. I'm a stupid donkey.

It is said that a county magistrate with a strong accent came to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails!" Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive! (Translator: Comrades, villagers, pay attention!) Don't speak, let's have a meeting! ）

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said: "Pickles, please sausage and pickles!" (Translation: Now the head of the township is invited to speak!) ）

Don't want pickles, I'll pick up a shit for you to add. (Don't speak, I'll tell you a story.) ）

How are you, ah, I'm not good.

A dialogue between the most powerful pinyin typing master on Q Q.

GG: You howl!

MM: You howl! What are you**?

gg: I'm surfing the Internet in Wang Bali. What about you?

MM: I'm also in Wang Bali.

GG: Are you a ** person?

MM: I'm from Onizhou. What about you?

GG: I'm a caveman.

MM: Are you a man or a woman?

GG: Of course I'm having a hard time. You must be a girl, right?

MM: yes.

GG: Are you moldy?

MM: It's okay, people say I'm a big girl. Are you declining?

GG: It's okay, a lot of people say I'm a big brother.

MM: Really? Shall we have more pity?

GG: Good duck, what's your skinny chicken number?

MM: Let's not use lean chicken, how expensive is lean chicken, do you have a ball (QQ)?

GG: Yes.

MM: How many chickens do you have?

GG: 123456456 you're so cute, I'd love to have sex with you.

MM: Take your time, even though it's far away, the eggs are also chickens.

It is said that a county magistrate with a strong dialect went to the village to make a report:

Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! Don't pickle melon, pickles are too expensive! "

Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't speak, let's have a meeting! After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said:"Pickles please sausage pickles! "

Now I invite the mayor to speak! ）

Comrades, there is enough food to eat today, let's make a big bowl! ）"Don't want the pickles, I'll pick up a shit for you to lick...

Don't speak, I'll tell you a story ...

Someone might be able to eat this shit. ”

Someone may know this story. ）

Don't worry if you can't eat it."

I'll give it to you now.

At the beginning of the training class, the teacher first asked us to read a paragraph, but I didn't expect that I was called "n machine" by the teacher several times before I finished reading a paragraph. One of the most impressive words is the word "I", I have grown so big, and it is the first time that I have said so many "I" in one day. I'm alone with a rich expression, like an old hen that keeps "wo, wo, wo......"Keep yelling.

When I read that I was satisfied, I sighed softly, feeling very desolate, and realized how I had come to this field. There were also a few laughs in class, and some students did not score "h&f". "Phone bill" has become a "meeting", "eating" has become "eating change", "meeting" has become "expense", the teacher can't help laughing, and the classmates laugh.

In the sophomore English class, our group of students began to teach our English teacher to speak Chinese, because the teacher was older and spoke Mandarin very non-standard. Once, she said that "making money" was "hitting the wall" and said: "Students, you have to work hard to 'hit the wall' in the future" The whole class laughed, and then told the teacher in unison that it should be "making money".

The teacher also smiled, and we helped the teacher correct the pronunciation in every class in the future, and slowly the teacher's Mandarin became standard. In fact, the phenomenon of teachers is very common in our hometown, especially those who are elderly, who are always unable to distinguish between the front nose and the back nose, and naturally they are not able to read.

Writing ideas:You can write interesting and unforgettable stories from your childhood, explain the causes, processes, and results of the story clearly, integrate your true feelings, and narrate them in fluent and clear manner.

Text: On the beach in my memory, many trivial things are like rows of footprints of different shades. As the tide of time washes away, they gradually disappear without a trace. There is only one thing, but it is like a big tree on the shore, deeply rooted in my heart, and that is the first time I drank ink.

I remember one day in late April, I was going home with my classmates, and we talked and laughed on the way, and before we knew it, we were home. As soon as I stepped into the house, I heard my second aunt crying, I hurriedly pushed open the door of my second aunt's room and asked, "Second aunt, what's wrong with you?"

I was fired and my boss said I didn't have 'ink' in my stomach. ”

The second aunt said with tears streaming down her eyes. I was horrified, shocked, and thought: I don't have any ink in my stomach, so the principal must fire me too! That's not good, how can I be scared by this incident, my dignified seven-foot man.

Then, I went to my mother's study, looked east and west, and finally found a bottle of jasmine-flavored ink on the desk, I was so happy that I quickly unscrewed the lid and drank it without hesitation.

The next day, I was the first to arrive at the school and sat in the front row, feeling very proud. After a while, the classmate came to the classroom and saw me sitting in his seat and said, "What are you doing in my seat?"

Let's steal something! Be careful, I tell the teacher. ”

Stop, classmate, do you have ink? ”

No, what's wrong? ”

I already have ink in my stomach, so I should be in the first row. ”

You're so vexatious, okay, I'll go and tell the teacher, don't go. After saying that, he actually ran to tell the teacher. The teacher came over and said

What are you doing? "I have ink in my stomach and he doesn't, so that's why I should be sitting here." I hurriedly argued.

What's wrong with the ink in your stomach? It's quite energetic, let your parents come in the afternoon. "I'm dumbfounded.

On the way home, I always wondered: I did the right thing, why did I still bring "disaster", could it be that I was hungry and did it wrong? When I got home, I told my mother about it, and she laughed breathlessly, and after a while, my mother stopped laughing and said to me in a serious voice

Child, the 'ink' your second aunt said is not the actual ink, but refers to culture, your second aunt was expelled because she had no culture, you, you must study hard in the future, don't do such stupid things again. ”

Oh, so 'ink' refers to culture! In the future, I must study hard, but I can't have ink in my stomach and no 'ink' in my head!

Childhood is colorful, like a beautiful seashell by the sea; Childhood is carefree, like a prodigal doll who laughs all day long; Childhood is innocent and sweet, like the clear spring water in a mountain stream. When I talk about my childhood, I can't help but think of an interesting thing.

I remember when I was four or five years old, once, my grandmother gave me and Juju each a high-grade milk candy that made people drool at the sight, which made our two "little gluttonous cats" happy, and it was really exciting.

Neither of us was willing to eat. I said, "Shall we eat?" "Okay, let's eat together!" Juju agreed. I was quick with my hands and feet, and I took it apart in two clicks, and I took out the candy and stretched my neck to look at Juju. I looked at her candy and was anxious:

Yours is bigger than mine! ”

**？I'm missing a little here! ”

Hmph, mine is dissolved! ”

Your color is strong, and your milk is abundant! ”

We fought back and forth to no avail, and we all felt that we were at a loss. But as soon as he said that he wanted to be replaced, he quickly turned around, and no one wanted to. We're starting to eat sugar!

We ate it together. Wow! It's so sweet, it's so fresh, it's so fragrant!

After eating for a while, I said, "Take it out and see, you're older or I'm older!" "Good!

Juju said like a pug and stuck the candy on the tip of her tongue. I stuck out my tongue as she did, but she said she couldn't see clearly, so I put the sugar on the tip of my tongue and put half of it on the outside, and tried to stick my tongue out. At this time, a puppy happened to get under my feet, I couldn't dodge, the candy on the tip of my tongue accidentally fell to the ground, it was really a coincidence, I rushed forward, my right foot was right against the candy, alas, what should I do?

It's too late, it's too late, and before I can come back to my senses, my feet have already stepped on the "baby". I was so anxious and angry: "You stinky dog, rotten dog, dead dog!"

I kicked the dog in the stomach, and the dog was so frightened that he ran away. I lifted my foot and used my hands to break off the sugar stuck to the soles of my shoes, looking left and right, reluctant to throw it away. "Throw it away, do you still want to eat it?

Juju sarcastically said. My two hands covered with sugar rubbed involuntarily, and my eyes were staring at Juju's mouth, just let me take a look at the toffee. I kept swallowing, wishing she would spit out the candy and bite half a grain for me.

I couldn't stand it anymore, I just felt a sour nose and tears flowed down like beads with broken threads: "Mom, I want to eat ......."Sugar ......I'm going to eat ......Sugar ......”

Now, the old man of time has arrived, and he has taken his childhood away in a hurry. I won't worry about a grain of candy like I used to, and I won't cry a lot. Thanks to the old man of time, because he compiled his childhood into the purest, truest and most beautiful book, which is imprinted in our hearts.

It can be about the memories of playing with friends when you were a child, describing the fun that this process brought you, etc., and finally summarize the inspiration of this piece for you, just point to the topic.

Unforgettable childhood anecdotes.

I remember that it was a very hot summer, and the small river in my hometown became very lively, and many people went to the river in groups to swim because they couldn't stand the heat.

I didn't know how to swim, and I really wanted to go to a swimming class, but my dad wouldn't let me go, and then I relied on my mom to go, and finally one day, my mom agreed to take me to learn to swim.

We came to the small river in our hometown, only to see a lot of people swimming freely in the river, really like the fish in the river, free, looking at them like that, it makes people feel very beautiful It is a raw hand who can't swim, put a lifebuoy on the waist, swinging in the water, playing and playing, the whole river is full of laughter and laughter, splashing in all directions.

At this time, my mother was already swimming in the river, and I thought, "It's not that hard to swim, isn't it that easy?" It's just that if I am paddling in the water, I will do it so Without thinking about it, I took off my clothes in three strokes and jumped into the river Oh my God, I sank straight down, and drank two mouthfuls of river water, and I shouted Mom, .....

I don't know who pulled me up the riverbank.

Afterwards, my mother said to me, "You are not too brave, I didn't teach you to jump into the river by yourself!" ＂

I said to my mother, "I just want to swim, it's so cool to see other people swim, I thought it was a simple thing, but in fact I was still very scared of what I just jumped into the river?"

The next day, my mother and her friends went swimming in the river, and I still relied on my mother to teach me to swim, but the adults couldn't resist me, so they had to teach me After countless exercises, I finally floated in the water, and although it wasn't so free, it wasn't so free, but it didn't sink into the water, and then I learned to swim.

Through learning to swim, I have learned a truth, to do a successful thing, you can't be reckless, but don't be afraid of difficulties, as long as you master the right method, face the difficulties, I believe you will succeed Unforgettable childhood fun stories!

You mean the Mandarin test! I remember that I also had this question before, in fact, the content of the Mandarin test is not important, the important thing is that the standard is not.

There is no depth of the blue sky, there can be the elegance of white clouds; Without the magnificence of a great river, there can be the elegance of a stream; There is no fragrance of the wilderness, there can be the verdant green of the grass. I don't have any special talent, but I can have a bright sky. Because, it is Mandarin that makes me so confident!

I am a girl from the county town and grew up in my hometown, where people speak the native dialect. After coming to Hengshui in junior high school, it was difficult to communicate with others due to speaking dialects, which not only made it impossible for my classmates to communicate with me, but also made me feel particularly inferior. In the past, I was very enthusiastic in answering questions in class, but when I came here, I never dared to raise my hand, for fear that others would laugh at me for speaking my hometown dialect and look down on me.

But one day, the inevitable thing happened, the Chinese teacher saw that I always did not speak, so he asked me to recite a Tang poem, I stood up slowly, I didn't know what to say, I stood like a dumb person for a minute, my face was as red as a ripe apple. In the end, the teacher thought I wouldn't and told me to sit down, which was the most embarrassing experience of my life! From then on, I swear:

Be sure to learn Mandarin well and regain your self-confidence!

So, every afternoon after school, I always have to practice pronunciation with the announcer on TV, although it is very difficult, but I still persist for a month, but the effect is not significant, I am a little discouraged! At this time, my mother encouraged me and said, "Failure is the ladder of success, you must have the courage to face difficulties again and again in order to achieve success!"

My mother's encouragement strengthened my confidence in learning Mandarin well, and I studied Mandarin even harder, and then my mother enrolled me in the Carnegie Eloquence and Success Training Class, Carnegie.