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Borrow when you can, it's good to help others. A brother who had known me for more than 20 years needed a turnover in his business, so he asked me to borrow money and promised to pay it back to me within three months. At that time, I had no spare money in my hand, only three credit cards, so I gave him the card and password and asked him to go back and brush it himself.
In the afternoon, I received a text message and swiped a total of 30,000 yuan, and he told me to ask someone to give me the card, and I didn't ask him much since then. A month later, WeChat asked me if I was in a hurry? I said no hurry, I'll give it to me when it's convenient for you.
Less than a month later, he asked me to drink, and there were three people at the wine table, and I and he had three generations of friends in my family, all of whom played from childhood to adulthood. At first, he never mentioned the money, and after three rounds of drinking, the brother who borrowed the money said, "I borrowed money from only two people, one is you and the other is him, I know that I can definitely borrow from you, and I am not afraid of losing face" (businessman has a good face, haha), and the three of them toasted together. I drank until the wee hours of the morning.
The next day, he asked someone to send 32,000, I gave him ** asked him why he had 2,000 more, he said it was interest, I said no. Before he bought my 1,003 fruits and didn't give them, I deducted 1,300 and 700 red envelopes for him, and he withdrew them and I gave them and withdrew them, and they shirked for a long time, but I didn't ask for them in the end. Talking about this, I just want to say that some people really need help, and if they can, try to pull it.
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I think a lot about this question, because I often ask my classmates to borrow money to get by, buy a house, and borrow money when living expenses are tight during the doctoral study. But generally classmates, friends offer to support, some of them are expected to borrow me 3w, I only borrowed 10,000 in the end, and when the money is free (take the provident fund) soon to pay them back, some half a year, some months, and two more than a year, but every node, I will take the initiative to text the other party to tell each other that I still owe each other money, now I am not rich, can not be repaid, but thank you very much, and tell them about when they can pay back, if they have a large amount of expenses at home, Be sure to let me know and I'll turn it around to them in time. Let's talk about the question of how to refuse tactfully.
First of all, you look at the intimacy of your relationship, if you are iron buddies, good sisters who study and sleep together in the dormitory, then you should do your best to help them within your ability. If it's not a particularly iron-clad relationship, you can adopt the following strategy to refuse: First, ask in detail what you want to borrow money for?
What are you going to do? Anyway, if you keep asking in detail, repeatedly calling ** to verify, and saying "I thought WeChat contacted me was **", as long as you have enough patience to grind hard with him, the vast majority of people will not borrow again. More often, if you contact you to borrow money from WeChat or SMS, if you don't have a particularly close relationship, you can actually ignore it, because there are too many fraudulent messages now.
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Look at the friend who wants to decline, if he thinks you should borrow him for granted, just cry poor. If the friend is in that kind of tentative tone, he can tactfully tell him that the money has been invested by his wife, hey. If your friends are very good, try to help, how much help to make friends, feel down-to-earth.
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Find someone who will carry the black pot for you, if you get married, you will put the "responsibility" on your wife and husband, and say that the bank card or something is handed over to your wife and husband, and you only have a little living expenses every month. If you are not married, you put the "responsibility" on your girlfriend and boyfriend. What if you're single?
On the grounds that I have to support my parents every month, my salary is sent to my parents as living expenses or something. All in all, the money just isn't on you.
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Let's not talk about whether we should borrow or not, but only talk about the way to borrow money: if you don't refuse, you can borrow, but you can't borrow much, because it is also difficult. This approach will not completely offend the friend.
Promised to borrow, but after a few days, the money was tight, and when I received some money, I would borrow, which was a delay, but in fact, it was a polite refusal. Recently, I have been borrowing money, buying a house, buying... Why didn't you say it earlier, I just lent it to a relative of my wife's family.
In fact, there are many reasons, usually to spare a few, do not hesitate, be sure to reply as soon as possible, and the tone should be realistic. There are always some friends whose character is not trustworthy, or the reason to borrow money is not enough to borrow money, but they don't want to tear their faces, so they must have a record.
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It's a joke when he asks you to borrow money, you can say to him: I'm still about to borrow money from you! It's the smartest way to do it.
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Borrowing money is to save the needy, not the poor. There should be many ways to refuse a friend to borrow money, for example: you say it's late, then who just borrowed money. Also, I am nervous about what I just bought at home, or I am providing for a house.
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Directly say that the money was borrowed, you can say who borrowed it, but you can't say that you have something in common. Because of the social relationship, it is very likely that there will be goofs. You can say that you are a relative of the family. This makes sense, and it makes sense.
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Friends to borrow money from themselves, should be something that everyone has experienced, in this case, you can use the following five methods to refuse, these methods are done by people with high emotional intelligence, both years old Tong will not offend people, but also let others thank you.
You go to him in turn to borrow money.
If your friend comes to you to borrow money, and you turn around and ask him to borrow money, will it work very well, and the use of this thinking must be very natural, not so artificial. Your friend will be confused.
I really want to lend him money, but the conditions are limited, as for what the conditions, it depends on your adaptability.
It is also a common method to make a big deal around, you have to express your meaning clearly, you also want to lend him this money, and you will be very firm in your relationship, but your conditions are limited, for example, your money is used in a certain place, or you are now relatively tight, in short, find some reasons for yourself, and this matter will pass quickly.
Give him an idea and find someone else to borrow it.
If you are not willing to lend to others, don't be reluctant, express the meaning clearly, you can point him a way to borrow money, in this case, don't delay other people's things, but also let yourself get out as soon as possible, I believe your friends must be able to understand you.
Playing a double play with your lover or family, your friends will naturally understand what you mean.
This can also give your friends a good explanation, because when you start acting in this method, your friends must trust very clearly, because everyone is not stupid, in this case, your friends are not embarrassed to open their mouths to borrow money from you, your goal has been achieved, at least it has taken care of your friend's face.
The nature of the positioning relationship has not yet reached the point of borrowing money, which seems to be too upright, but it has the best effect.
Tell him clearly, don't think that our relationship is to borrow money, we haven't known each other for a long time, and the trust relationship has not been established, so I can't lend you this money, tell him directly, but can keep your relationship maintained, and actually clearly tell people your attitude.
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1. Be honest about your difficulties
First, be honest about your difficulties. The reason for not being able to borrow money may be financial problems or other problems, and we need to explain to the other party the situation of selling ourselves out of the oak hole, so that they can understand our difficulties and avoid embarrassing situations.
Second, you can provide some help within your ability
Second, we need to explore other ways to help. While we can't borrow money, we can consider providing other practical help, such as giving them some actionable advice or helping them find other ways to borrow**.
3. Maintain a polite attitude
Finally, be polite when communicating and thank the other person for their trust. Even if we can't accommodate each other's requests, I want to thank them for their trust and make sure to tell them that if there is any way we can help them in the future, we will do our best. This keeps good relationships and keeps us connected to other people.
In short, when dealing with this situation, we need to communicate openly, explore other ways to help, and be polite and grateful. This way allows us to avoid embarrassment and also maintain good relationships with others.
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1: After Duan's friend asks to lend money, if you don't want to lend him money, you need to subconsciously avoid this topic and forcibly attract the topic to other things.
2: Learn to refuse tactfully, don't be afraid to hurt feelings. It is love to lend you money, but it is duty not to lend you money.
3: It is unwise to delay and delay what has been promised, and the method of delaying and delaying here refers to - not giving a reply for the time being, that is, when the other party makes a request, you have not agreed for a long time, but have repeatedly said that you want to study or consider it, so the smart other party can immediately understand that you are not willing to agree.
4: Sometimes it is not easy to say no to the other party, often practice in my heart how to say n times, once I can't make up my mind in the face of the other party, I always can't speak. This is where body language comes in handy.
Generally speaking, the old cover, shaking your head represents negation, and when others see you shaking their heads, they will understand what you mean.
5: Take offense as defense and strike first. The most crucial factor in this trick is to have the relevant information in advance.
Before the other party speaks, first reveal your "financial situation" and tell him that you are also short of money now. This trick can be described as a "pre-emptive strike" to avoid giving the impression that you are making excuses.
6 Try not to reply. That is to say, when the other party makes a request, you adopt the tactic of delaying and detouring, and do not agree for a long time, but repeatedly say that you want to study or consider it, then the smart other party will immediately understand that you are not willing to agree. If the other party is still stalking after the above steps, you can choose to ignore them.
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When a friend asks me to borrow money, I decline gracefully in the following way:
First, apologize. I will first apologize, explaining that I am not in a good financial situation right now, and I really can't lend money. Apologizing can alleviate the embarrassment of the other person and show your sincerity.
I'd say, "I'm sorry, I'm so tight on my own money right now that I can't really borrow it." ”
Second, suggest other ways to borrow money. If a friend needs money urgently, I would suggest that he borrow money through other channels, such as finding friends and family, applying for a loan, etc. This means that I want to help, but it is too difficult.
I would say, "You can try to find other friends and family, or apply for a small loan or something." I'd love to help, but it's really troublesome to go back to the rocks.
Third, postpone repayment. If I really can't help but borrow it, I will also explain the current difficulties to my friends and ask for a postponement of the repayment time. This can be done to help a friend without putting too much pressure on yourself.
I'd say, "I'm having a hard time right now, I can't really borrow much." If you must borrow it, please give me a little time to return it when it gets better, is it okay?
Fourth, reschedule the interview. Some things are better to talk in person, I will tell my friends that it is not convenient to talk in detail, and talk face-to-face another day, so that you can also delay the time of jujube elimination and let your friends think of other ways to miss the eggplant. I would say:
It's not easy to talk about this kind of thing, so let's talk face-to-face another day. Interviews are the only way to get things through. ”
Generally apologizing, suggesting alternatives, postponing repayment deadlines, and rescheduling interviews were all clever ways for me to gracefully decline to borrow money. Let your friends feel your sincerity without making them feel embarrassed. The refusal to borrow money still needs to be expressed softly, so as not to hurt the self-esteem of the friend.
This requires us to be both firm and considerate, and this is my true understanding.
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For adults, in daily life, the most headache and embarrassment is to meet their colleagues and friends to borrow money from themselves, then, in the face of their own at the same time, and friends reach out to borrow money from themselves, whether they should lend to each other For me, I still have to combine the following situations to make my own decisions and choices.
First of all, for colleagues and friends who borrow money from me, if I do know better, and the relationship between the two people is better, the other party does encounter difficulties and emergencies, within the scope of their own ability, moderately help each other, and lend money to each other, it is not impossible, after all, everyone will have difficulties when they have helped others today, then when they encounter difficulties, others will also help themselves.
But if I don't know each other very well, and the relationship between two people is not very good, then in this case, I will still politely reject the other party, find a reason to explain the reason to the other party, and express my apologies, but if I really love the face factor, then even if I lend money to the other party, I will make a consideration before borrowing money again, and think about how much money I lend to the other party, which I can afford, and do a good job of lending this part of the money to the other party. If the other party is prepared not to repay the money in the future, if he hastily lends the money to the other party, and the other party does not repay the money, and he negotiates with the other party for this reason, it will not only be difficult to get back the money that belongs to him in the end, but also make the two people get along more awkwardly, which is very unwise.
said that he was confiscated by his wife.
If the amount is relatively large, say that most of your money is invested (** or other), of course, for the sake of friendship, you can lend him a small part of the money, and say: Brother really can't spare money, this food fee will be given to you! >>>More
I think that since you have such a plan, you should communicate with him frankly, explain your thoughts, don't say vaguely, clarify your attitude, in the spirit of being responsible for yourself and him, don't live together so early, this is not what you want, say it openly, if he doesn't agree with your point of view, you don't need to continue talking with him.
Sending money to you to let you go is already forcing you, so no matter how much you think he is sincere, I can only say that he has bad intentions. Even if you have a long-time friend in reality, you will not pay for you to see him. Therefore, when refusing, you need to be straightforward, it is best to cut off his thoughts, sometimes tactfulness may make him misunderstand and may continue to cause you trouble. >>>More
You can call him a brother. This way, you don't feel far away from each other. and will not let him continue to entangle. Or you just tell him that you don't fit in with each other. >>>More
It's not your job, or you can't do it, try not to do it, and then the tone should be tactful, the attitude must be firm, at the beginning, you can tell him that your ability may not be up to it, and then ignore him, he will know for himself.