What are the various requirements of each subject teacher for the car? Funny

Laughter! The various requirements of the teachers of each subject for the car, is there really this car? Alas, the hard car was actually put forward so many demands. It's really vexatious, all the teachers are very demanding!

1. Chinese teacher: look good and moving; The speed of the car should be fast; The work should be hard-working, the sound should be eloquent, the ride should be warm and comfortable, and the maintenance should be easy.

2. Mathematics teacher: The paint of the car must be uniform, no decimal point can appear, the ratio of length, width and height of the vehicle must meet the requirements of the first division method, the door gap, and the car number is selected except for 4 odd and even numbers.

3. English teacher: The car should be modern, or between the modern tense and the future tense, and all the technical indicators of the vehicle should reach OK, and no NO is allowed.

4. Physics teacher: the center of gravity should be stable, the acceleration should be large, the friction between running and the ground should be small, the start should be labor-saving, and the speed of the transmission device should be normal.

5. Political teacher: The vehicle must be qualified, the parts must be excellent, and the configuration must be harmonious, which can lead the owner along the right road, maintain the right direction, and move forward bravely towards the ideal goal.

6. History teacher: The brand should be famous at home and abroad, the history of producing cars should be long, the color and style should not be too old like unearthed cultural relics, it should have the style of the emperor, but also the style of the public.

7. Chemistry teacher: The oxygen content in the car should be high, no harmful gases such as CO and formaldehyde should appear, no adverse reactions should occur in the car, and no chemical reagents such as benzene and sulfuric acid could be stored in the car.

8. Geography teacher: The adaptability of the car should be strong, and the mountains, hills, plains, and desert areas can be unimpeded. Regardless of going up the north or going south, the task can be successfully completed.

9. Teacher: The car audio should be high-end, and it can be equipped with **CD, tape, VCD and ***. In addition to producing high and low bass, the speaker can also produce bel canto, popular and original sounds, which makes people feel that it is an artistic enjoyment when listening to the sound of the horn.

The motor sound should have a strong sense of rhythm, no trembling, no out-of-tune, and the car number should have a number between 1-7.

10. Art teacher: The appearance should be as attractive as Picasso's modern famous painting Renault landscape, the color highlights Chinese red, and there can be no mixed colors like a palette.

11. Biology teacher: The car should be hygienic, there should be no microorganisms and bacteria to multiply, car leather goods should not be made of animal fur, but should be made of plants, and the things that the car drinks should be environmentally friendly, and the farts should not be too smelly, and they should meet the emission standards.

12. Physical education teacher: to have the quality of a racing car, good flexibility, be able to exercise on various venues and roads, be able to engage in long-distance running, be good at sprinting, and be good at high jump and long jump, be able to easily cope with various obstacles, when racing with other cars, the running distance should be short, the start should be fast, the reaction time should be short, and the main command should be implemented at all times, no fouls, and no bounds.

13. Computer teacher: The version should be high, preferably the 2011 version, the running speed should be fast, the engine must be dual-core, the accessories should be compatible with other cars, the memory should be large and expandable, and the working time will not crash, and it can be upgraded at any time. There should be a place to put folders on the car, and a warning sign "No Hackers Ride" should be printed.

Dongsheng Technology expands imports to see the other party's Vatican.

Hehe......

I can't paste it, just click here, it's funny.

I hope you adopt ......

Recommend Xiao Ming's series of jokes, which is a carnival of teacher-student relationships created by countless netizens with their own creativity, with different styles, but they are relatively funny. In particular, the "Get Out" series is widely circulated. Here are a few:

A teacher: "In Chinese characters, where there are three points of water, there must be water, for example, river, river, lake, sea, ......."”

Xiao Ming: "Desert." ”

Teacher: "Get out! ”

Xiao Ming: "When I rolled, I didn't see any water!" ”

Teacher: "Get out! ”

Second teacher: "Xiao Ming, what good things did you eat for your birthday yesterday?" ”

Xiao Ming took out a toothpick and took out a piece of shredded meat from between his teeth and put it in front of the teacher, saying, "Yesterday's food has been digested, this is today at noon, it is very fresh, I don't believe you can taste it......."”

Teacher: "Get out." “

In the self-study class, a teacher angrily rushed to the female student who thought she was beautiful and said, "Don't listen to ** in class!" ”

As she spoke, she pulled down her black headphones.

The girl was suddenly messy in the wind. . .

Said sadly: "Teacher." That's my underwear strap...

The geography teacher asked: The river is flowing to **? One student stood up and sang:

The great river flows eastward! The teacher ignored him and continued, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The student sang again: "The stars in the sky are in the Big Dipper!" The teacher is angry:

Get the hell out of here! Student: Let's go!

The teacher is helpless: Are you sick? Students:

You've got me, you've got it all! Teacher: Try singing again!

Student: The road is uneven and roars all your life! Teacher:

Do you believe me playing you? Student: Shoot when it's time to shoot!

The teacher is angry: I will let you quit school! Students:

Wind and fire in Jiuzhou!

Disadvantages and advantages:

In one class, the teacher asked Li Ming: "Tell me about your strengths." Li Ming replied: "I will correct my mistakes immediately." The teacher asked, "What about the shortcomings?" Li Ming replied again: "Even if you correct it, you will commit it again immediately." ”

Trees don't have bark, they will definitely die, people don't have face, and the world is invincible! You bt!Retardation can call you to speak, neuropathy can teach you to read!

Dinosaurs, which degenerate three times a day, are simply the strongest waste wood on human! Even like a flower is more than 200 times more beautiful than you! Your breath is a zombie virus!

If you go to war, you can't help but want to fly with bullets and shells! You're an incomplete alien. How's that, it seems to be a bit swearing, if it doesn't work, forget it.

I wish you a smile and a laugh that you deserve; Have a good ride and a stroke halfway; I'll give you a cake, it's a birthday cake, and I'll give you a dress, it's a longevity dress.

It's like a two-person turn or something like that.