Should I help others with their requests, or should I be myself?

== Helping others as much as you can is a measure of benevolence and righteousness, and wanting to be a kind person and helping others is doing your own good.

= Necessary help. The other person's needs are necessary and irreplaceable, and without your help, he will not be able to solve them otherwise. If the other party's relatives and friends are more suitable to help, it is best for outsiders not to participate easily.

= Appropriate help. Depending on how much you need, help should be appropriate, and if you exceed too much, it will increase the discomfort and stress of the other person. In addition, if you help too much, you will change a certain state, and remember not to let kind help become a habit of the other party.

= Happy helping. Treat helping others as the concept of self-fulfillment, and as a reward for your efforts, enjoy joy, pleasure, and ease without thinking about it later.

Hello, I am Lemon Psychological Counselor-Teacher Liu Yihan.

He is also a special second-level psychological counselor of Lemon Psychological Counseling.

The subject asked a question worth thinking about:In life, when faced with things that we don't want to help, should we abide by our hearts and learn to refuse? Or should you force yourself to help out in order to keep your colleagues in harmony?

To this end, I would like to share my humble opinion about myself, hoping to inspire the subject.

1. Stick to your bottom line and principles

In the face of other people's requests, many times, we don't know whether to do it or not, whether it is the right thing to do!

For this reason, we are often entangled, confused and at a loss, want to eliminate this unpleasant psychology, my personal suggestion is that the landlord needs to know himself comprehensively, clearly understand what his bottom line and principles are, which are not to be violated!

With the bottom line and principles, when facing other people's requests, we are like having a reference for us to refer to and judge right and wrong!

If we can't follow our hearts and do everything we want it to, at least we can do what we do right!

In this way, the inner entanglement and confusion about handling things will be reduced accordingly!

2. Learn to help people and enjoy the fun of being helped

I am a person who doesn't like to trouble others, and I don't like others to trouble me, as can be seen from the subject's description, the landlord is a more self-reliant person, so many times, you will feel that you can not rely on others, everything can be done on your own.

But the reality is that we live in a society, and it is impossible for everyone to be completely separated from the group and independent of the world. We always have to constantly run in with others in our own fields, help each other in getting along, and grow together.

One person can grow, but a group of people will grow faster and go further. The landlord must first realize this and eliminate his resistance to helping each other in the group!

Many times, what you struggle with insisting on yourself or helping others is actually just a prejudice in your thinking. Helping others in the short term will not be rewarded, it will make you feel that you are wasting your time, wasting your life, and it is not your own task, you will have a sense of rejection that has nothing to do with you. However, it is true that helping others may not be rewarded in the short term, or in a lifetime, but it may not be rewarded at a certain moment in your life.

Therefore, helping others appropriately is not against your will, it is not that you do not insist on being yourself, but you are just broadening the width of your life, making your life more meaningful, and making the world warmer. Thinking about it from another angle, perhaps, it is not so difficult

It's okay to help others, but you have to be yourself. Helping others is not an obligation, it is the result of a good heart. If you can help what you can, you can refuse, if you can't help or don't want to help for your own reasons.

If someone likes you because you help him, and accuses you if you don't help him, so people who don't know how to be grateful don't associate with each other, and make yourself tired. If you think too much about others and lose yourself, others may not like you, and you may feel that someone will help you to be idle.

Convenient with others, convenient for yourself. People are mixed in the world, who dares to guarantee that they will not encounter wind and rain and need help from others. And if you don't help others when they need you, can you expect others to be generous when you need help? So it's good to be helpful at all times.

Humans are advanced animals that live in groups, and individuals cannot survive on their own. Then, as a member of this group, of course, we should help each other and love each other, and it is particularly important to establish a harmonious social circle. To care for others is to care for yourself.

Personal support requires doing a good job of yourself, but you must be active in helping others.

I think that people must help others, because people need you at the same time, you will definitely need people to help you in the future, if you feel that it is troublesome to help anything, I think you can choose to help, for example, you think you may have to ask this person in the future, if you feel that there is no need to help the person to find an excuse to push him!

Be yourself, sometimes I don't know if others want to help, see what others ask, and try to help if you can.

At all times, you should do what you can to help others.

We often say that "helping others is the foundation of happiness", but have you ever had an experience where the authorities slandered you for accepting help, and the other party was very happy but you couldn't be happy, because this help couldn't help you at all, and even became a burden to you? I guess that's a lot of experience, right? But what can you do to make your kindness truly help others?

Step1 Observe and find out the real problem of the other party.

The authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear" (Qing Liu E's "The Travels of the Old Disabled" Chapter 13) means that when the person concerned falls into a difficulty, he often cannot see the whole picture of things, cannot see the problems he encounters, and thus cannot make wise choices. Su Shi's famous sentence "I don't know the true face of Lushan, only because I am in this mountain" is also exactly this meaning. What we can do from the perspective of a bystander is to provide an overall insight into the parties involved, find the problem point, and provide a practical path.

Step2 Guide and let the other party see the problem.

Have you ever had the experience that when someone tells you directly what your problem is, you will be very resistant, and you will not listen to what the other person says, even if it is really good for you? In order to avoid this from happening, when you meet someone who takes the initiative to ask for your help, even if you have seen the problem, you might as well slow down and have a good chat, and slowly guide the other party to see the problem by yourself, just like peeling an onion, layer by layer to get rid of the ins and outs of the matter, because you find the problem yourself, than others point out the problem, the former is more motivated to change.

Step3 Co-create and create real help together.

When clarifying the real problem of the matter, I believe that the other party must have his own ideas, you might as well let the other party talk about his own thoughts first, through his thoughts to analyze, talk to him about **is good, **is easy to produce problems, what problems will arise how to deal with and solve, discussion together will be more useful than you directly to him to answer the answer! In fact, many times, when the other party already has a direction, it is very difficult for you to change him, but what you can do is to help him see the risks and possible problems in advance and think of a plan, and the greatest help to him is to complete the matter!

There are many ways to help, some can float in the sky and some can actually land, and we all hope that the help we provide can really help each other, don't let your help become a burden to him, and choose a suitable way to help others.

Summary. What would you do if someone needed help? Why?

I am very willing to help others, as long as others need help, I will do everything possible to find ways to help others, to ensure that the things that need help, for fear that I will forget, I will write it down in a small book, I will feel very unhappy if this matter does not help. I really can't help, I have to explain it to others, for fear that others will misunderstand. I often think that helping others is also helping myself, and when people ask you for help, it is their trust in you, and they look up to you, so I am happy.

What would you do if someone needed help? Why?

What would you do if someone needed help? Why? I am very willing to help others, as long as others need help, I will do everything possible to find ways to help others, to ensure that the things that need help, for fear that I will forget, I will write it down in a small book, I will feel very unhappy if this matter does not help.

I really can't help, I have to explain it to others, for fear that others will misunderstand. I often think that helping others is also helping myself, and when people ask you for help, it is their trust in you, and they look up to you, so I am happy.

Know that you really need help, do your best to help others! Helping others is also waiting to help yourself.

If you need help, then you can ask someone close to you.

Seek their help and describe your difficulties because you need help for what, and I believe they will be willing to help you.

I think if you want to ask others for help when you need help, the best thing you can do is to bow your head and beg others to help you, after all, asking others to help you requires you to put down your dignity and face, which is actually a very difficult thing.

When you need help, you first have to analyze, who can help you? , who is willing to help you, first find these two types of people, if it really doesn't work, you can also ask your parents for help.

When you need help, you can ask your friends around you for help, as long as you usually help others when you ask for help, others will usually try to help you.

I think if you need help yourself, you have to ask for help, but you have to have a good attitude when you ask for help.

I think it's good to ask someone else for help when you need help, because you can't suppress the pressure, so it's better to ask someone else to share it for you.

I think it's important to go to someone else when you need help, so that they can come to you when someone else is in trouble, and then you will gradually become friends.

When you need help, if you need help, you should also ask for help from someone who usually has a good relationship with you. I'm afraid the average person won't help you.

For the reason for this kind of help, you must first explain your own reasons, and what kind of things I am asking for help can others help you.

Since you need help, you must have a number in your heart, only people who like to help you, and you feel that the other party is willing to help you.

When you need help, of course, you should ask for help like the person who usually has the best relationship with you, and secondly, ask for help from ordinary people.

I think you just need to make things clear to others, and those who are willing to help you will definitely help you as long as you ask.

If you want to ask someone for help, you can ask for help in good faith, as long as it is within reason. will be helped.

Then when you need help from others, be tactful to others, saying that I am in trouble now, and I hope you can help me. Thank you!

Just say it directly, if there are any difficulties, raise them with others, see if others can keep them, you don't beat around the bush.

Now you are facing a feeling that you should let go but can't let go, an emotion that you can't refuse but can't accept, that's a relationship for you.

When you need help, just tell your friends about your situation and trust them to help you.

If you need help from someone else, you can go to him, it's your business whether he agrees or not, and if you really need it, you can't do anything.

Hello friend, in general, you are more polite to others than me, and you can ask others.

When you need help, you can directly say why you are helping, so that others will help you.

Then you can directly tell someone that you need help, ask them if it's inconvenient, or ask them if they can help.