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Generally speaking, a daughter can go to her father's grave. However, different regions and ethnic groups have different customs and customs, and the specific regulations may vary.
In some local customs, daughters are not allowed to go to the grave, such as some small villages in southwestern and central Lu, where they believe that their daughters are strangers and will eventually get married. After marriage, the daughter should belong to the in-laws' family, so the daughter should not go to the grave, and the married daughter can go to the grave of the in-laws' family.
In addition, under the influence of traditional patriarchal thinking, some places believe that daughters are not their own family, and "the water spilled by the married daughter", so daughters cannot go back to their parents' homes during the Qingming Festival, nor can they worship their ancestors in their parents' homes.
However, in other regions and ethnic groups, daughters are allowed to go to graves, but there may be some restrictions. For example, married daughters may not be able to go back to their parents' homes because they are considered members of their husband's family. In addition, children who are too young and women who are menstrual may also not be suitable for going to the grave because their physical attributes are considered to be prone to attracting unclean things or may affect health.
In general, whether a daughter can go to her father's grave depends on local customs and beliefs. While following tradition, you should also pay attention to your own health and safety.
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OK.
as children. Whether it's a son or a daughter. All have the responsibility and obligation of filial piety. After the death of his father. Whether it's a son or a daughter. All have obligations and responsibilities. With special. Normal worship is sufficient on the anniversary.
Going to the grave is to pay tribute to the deceased relatives and their parents, not only for the son, but also for the daughter to go to the grave of the parents to pay respects to express her sorrow.
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OK. Generally speaking, if a child is under the age of six, it is not suitable for both boys and girls to participate in the theme activities of tomb sweeping and ancestor worship.
But in fact, this is decided according to the customs and habits of each region, and some regions think that girls can also go to the grave, after all, girls are also one of the descendants; In some areas, it is felt that it is inappropriate for the girl to go to the grave, and the woman is in the feudal society.
In everyone's concept, it is not "their own person", so the girl cannot go to the grave.
About the customs related to tomb sweeping
In some areas, the unmarried daughters are allowed to sweep the tombs, for example, in many Guangzhou areas, the unmarried daughters can go to the tombs to worship their ancestors. It's just that the old thinking situation in some regions is serious, and they feel that whether or not their daughter marries does not jeopardize the essence of her being a "foreign daughter", so even if the daughter is not married, she cannot worship in her own grave.
The girl who has already married is not suitable for going home to her mother's family to sweep the tomb, only in the mother-in-law's family to worship the tomb of the mother-in-law's family, and can not return to the mother's family to worship the mother's family's grave, because in everyone's traditional consciousness, the daughter is already married to the husband's family, and the mother's family is only the mother's family, and her name and household registration have already changed her surname to the husband's family, so the married daughter is the mother-in-law's family, and cannot return to the mother's family to sweep the tomb and worship the ancestors.
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Absolutely!
It is only natural for children to sweep the graves of their parents!
Even if you are married, it is normal to sweep the grave.
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Men and women are the same, and now sons and daughters can sweep the graves of their deceased parents, which is a kind of remembrance and filial piety!
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Can a daughter go to the grave of her parents on Qingming Festival?
Whether a daughter can go to the grave of her parents on the Qingming Festival also needs to be judged according to local customs. In some areas, married daughters are not allowed to go to the grave, but unmarried daughters are allowed to go to the grave. However, in some areas, it is possible to go to the grave regardless of whether you are married or not.
There are also areas where daughters are not allowed to go to the grave, regardless of whether they are married or not.
1. Married daughters are not allowed to go to the grave, but unmarried daughters can go to the grave
In some areas, it is said that married daughters are not allowed to go to the grave, but unmarried daughters are allowed to go to the grave. Because they will feel that after their daughter gets married, she is not from her own family, she belongs to a person with a foreign surname, and she cannot sweep the ancestral grave of her mother's family, otherwise she will take away the feng shui of her mother's family.
2. You can go to the grave regardless of whether you are married or not
In some areas, regardless of whether the daughter is married or not, she can also go to the grave of her parents, especially in many families now, there is no idea of male superiority and inferiority, whether the daughter is married or not, she will have her own children, so naturally she can also go to the grave.
3. Regardless of whether you are married or not, you are not allowed to go to the grave
In some villages in southwest and central and southern Lu, unmarried daughters cannot go to the cemetery of the deceased to worship, which is even a family rule that cannot be violated.
Therefore, whether a daughter can go to the grave of her parents on the Qingming Festival also needs to be judged according to local customs and habits.
Is her daughter going to the grave of her mother's house?
A daughter goes to the grave, and her mother's family is a folk proverb in the countryside, which means that the married daughter returns to her mother's house to go to the grave, which will have a bad impact on the fortune and reputation of her mother's family.
Reason 1: When the daughter goes back to her parents' grave, she will hold hands with the good feng shui of her mother's ancestral grave;
Reason 2: When a daughter goes back to her parents' house to go to the grave, it will make outsiders feel that there is no successor to her mother's family, so in general, the daughter's grave has the greatest impact on her mother's family.
The traditional concept is that women are not allowed to go to the grave, whether it is in the husband's house or their own home, even if they come to their mother's house during the Qingming Festival, they only go to the house to sit and have a meal, indicating that they have come, and do not follow their fathers, brothers and nephews to the graves of their ancestors to pay tribute. This is what we often say about women going to the grave and their mother's family being desperate.
The older generation thinks that women themselves contain a lot of yin energy, that women are filthy, and if they go to worship their ancestors, then they will collide with the ancestors, causing the ancestors to be at peace, and the descendants will not be protected, which is also disrespectful to the ancestors.
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When a daughter goes to her mother's grave, she has to tie the burning paper with red thread, and before burning the paper, she will say a few words to tell her mother to come and get the money, and then burn the paper.
Married daughters are not allowed to go to the grave:
In some places, it is believed that the daughter who marries out is someone else's family, and if there is a son in the family, the people of the mother's family do not want the daughter to go back to her mother's house to go to the grave, for fear that others will say that there is no one in the mother's house, and only the family of the mother's family without a son can the girl go back to her mother's house to go to the grave. Some people feel that after their daughters get married, they can't sweep their mother's ancestral grave, otherwise they will take their mother's feng shui away.
The traditional saying, to put it simply, the girl who marries out is a member of her husband's family, and she can't and can't sweep other people's graves, and it is impossible to be buried in her mother's land after a hundred years. This concept is the common belief that "daughters are not heirlooms". The ancestral tombstones can only be engraved with the names of sons and daughters-in-law, and the names of girls are generally not engraved on the tombstones of their ancestors.
In some places, this custom continues to this day.
You can go to the grave whether you are married or not:
The traditional concept is more because of the idea that men are superior to women, so that there are many sayings about daughters going to graves, but now it is emphasized that giving birth to both boys and girls is the same, daughters are as important as sons, and there are also many families with only daughters, so this concept has been changing. As long as the parents and elders do not have the idea of preferring sons over daughters, then naturally daughters can go to the grave regardless of whether they are married or not.
What is the point of the girl going to the grave?
1. Women who are weak or sick cannot go to the grave to sweep the grave, and if they must go, they must wear amulets such as jade or jade Buddha.
2. Pregnant women who are pregnant with Liujia and women who are coming to menstruation are not allowed to go to the grave to sweep the grave;
3. A woman who is not officially married and is just a girlfriend cannot accompany her boyfriend to the grave to sweep the grave;
4. In some places, it is also stipulated that women whose husbands have died less than three years cannot go to the grave to sweep the grave.
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It is best to go on the father's death day (within the third anniversary) or birthday, and then Qingming, the first day of October, and try not to go to the cemetery at ordinary times. Bring the paper money, gold ingots, cornucopias, clothes and other things that need to be burned, bring incense for incense, and then the dishes, staple foods, fruits and snacks that my father usually likes to eat. Buy a bouquet of flowers to place in front of the tombstone, and there are also tablet flowers that can be glued to the tombstone, so you should bring your own double-sided tape or scotch tape.
If your father smokes, light a cigarette for him, prepare a glass of water, a glass of wine. After tidying up the cemetery and placing all the offerings, offer incense and worship, preferably three kowtows.
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Sweeping the tomb first needs to prepare the following supplies, incense candles, paper money, vegetarian wine, fruits, tribute, flowers, etc., of course, not all, paper money, tribute is essential, to the cemetery, you should first remove weeds, tidy up the grave, also called adding graves, and then it is to burn paper, sacrifice, and at the same time chant some words to reassure your father, and then you can go home.
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The customs and habits of our side are more ceremonious, you can prepare three kinds of dishes (for example, roast chicken, steamed fish, fried lotus root box), three kinds of fruits (apples, bananas, pineapples), other snacks and the like, fire paper, firecrackers, and sacrificial supplies.
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Whatever you do is a kind of sustenance and comfort, it's useless, buy a bouquet of flowers and put it on the grave, talk to yourself and go home after a while, and take good care of your living mother is better than anything else.
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If it's simpler, just prepare incense; If it's a little more complicated, you should bring five offerings (an incense burner, a pair of candlesticks, a pair of vases), five fruits (five different colors of fruits), five grains, paper money ingots, etc.
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Usually go to the cemetery. Tomb sweeping or discipline inspection. What do you need to do?
First of all. After going. To put the cemetery.
Including tombstones. All the nearby weeds are cleaned up 1 time. And then.
Get one. A few sticks of incense in a small container. Light the incense and burn two sticks of incense.
Show respect for your ancestors. Afterwards. Placed in front of the tombstone.
How many fruits? It is also to worship the ancestors, of course, you can also put some other cigarettes, for example. Or other ornaments.
In short, according to the hobbies of the ancestors, just put some small things at will. The main thing is to show the offering. Then it's paper burning.
Put the prepared yellow paper. Next to a tombstone, or nearby. Meantime.
Reciting some words silently in my heart is to express some words that express my nostalgia for my ancestors, and read them silently. Then wait until the paper is burned. Thoroughly clean the design and burn it clean.
And then. against the tombstone. Stand up straight.
Cart. Three palaces. Bow three times.
It is also to express respect and nostalgia for the ancestors. After bowing, then the whole. The grave sweeping and memorial activities are basically enough, and it is over.
In fact, I have been engaged in this kind of activity many, many times. Also for. There are several ancestors who have passed away, and they already are.
At the same time, hopefully. Every young person. Be able to be serious and live up to the entrustment of our ancestors.
Be able to live every day. Work hard. Be a person who is useful to society.
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Everywhere and everywhere. In some places, burn some paper, buy something, that is, there are very good things sold on the street, fake money, folded paper, ah or something, just make it simple, superstition must not be believed, and not all believed. If you look at what people are burning, you can buy it, or you can ask the old man, just do it.
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The customs vary from place to place, and you can do it according to the local customs. Generally, you need to bring some tribute, burn some paper money, and clean the area around the grave.
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It depends on the customs and habits of various places, and under normal circumstances, you should bring candles, incense, and paper money to visit the tomb. Flowers and some favorite foods, fruits.
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Tomb sweeping requires preparing incense and candles, burning paper money, laying vegetarian wine, placing fruits, offering meals, placing flowers, and removing weeds.
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Bring some wine, bring some water, rags, flowers.
In fact, it's your filial piety, it doesn't matter what you bring
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Buy bouquets of flowers, buy 3 kinds of fruits, cook some meals and vegetables at home.
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Look at your own mind, the necessary class is all blank paper, dark money. ingots, etc., you can also let the seller recommend it to you. It doesn't cost much more.
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Bring your worship items! Or ask the local elders if they are particular about it, and it varies from place to place.
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The taboo of the Winter Clothes Festival on the first day of the tenth lunar month.
1. People who are not in good health should not go to the cemetery; The elderly and children do not go to the cemetery; Don't go to the cemetery if something goes wrong on the road; Don't go to the graveyard after dark; Don't play at the graveyard; Do not speak disrespectfully in the cemetery; Do not dissolve your hands at the graveyard; Don't look back when you leave.
2. All the clothes and money given to the deceased must be burned and burned out, so that the paper of the yang world can be turned into the silk and satin cloth of the underworld, and the houses of money. As long as there is a little unfinished, the previous work will be wasted, and those who go cannot use it.
3. On the day of the Winter Clothes Festival, women should not go out, and women are cold and need special attention.
4. Don't hang wind chimes at the head of the bed, even if they were hung in the past, take them off on the day of the Winter Clothes Festival. Because wind chimes are easy to attract evil spirits, people are often the most likely to attract evil spirits when they are sleeping.
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The exquisiteness and taboo of the daughter's grave:
An unmarried daughter can go to the grave, but if the married daughter goes back to her parents' house to go to the grave, the folk think that this is not good for the fortune and reputation of the mother's family. Some people think that if you marry your daughter and go back to your parents' home, it is a sign that your mother's family has "no successor", so it is taboo to marry her daughter and go back to her parents' house to go to the grave.
No matter what the custom is, it is not appropriate for a daughter to go to the grave if she is too young. In some areas, the feudal mentality is more serious, and they believe that whether a daughter marries or not does not affect the essence of her being a "foreign-married woman", so even if the daughter is not married, she cannot worship in her ancestral grave.
Attention to the grave:
There are three things to do during the Qingming tomb: first, check whether there are any caves of rats or badgers and other animals around the tomb, and if there are any, they must be blocked in time, otherwise the rainy season will come, and the tomb may be flooded, and the tomb will collapse; Second, check whether the trees around the grave have withered, and if there are dead trees, they should be dug up and removed in time to avoid affecting the view of the grave; Third, check whether there is a probability of geological disasters around the grave, including landslides and mudslides.
When it appears, it is necessary to do a good job of reinforcing the grave.
If a problem is found near the tomb, it does not mean that it will be solved during the Qingming period, but it is necessary to choose a suitable time to solve it. In modern society, most of the ancestral worship is a formal project, which has no practical effect, and the purpose of going to the grave is to solve the problem, not to turn a blind eye to the problem.
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First of all, half of it is the joint property of the parents and the husband and wife, and there is no inheritance, which is the property of the mother. The remaining half is generally divided equally between the mother and the child, provided that the father's parents are gone, and if the father's parents are still alive, they can also be divided.
Of course, the hairstyle is your own decision, your parents are just suggestions, listen to it if it makes sense, and follow your own ideas if it doesn't make sense, there is no need to contradict this little thing.
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