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Some young students often suffer from their lack of communication and introversion. Some of them are personalities that have been cultivated over many years. Can you change this personality and develop the ability to be sociable?
As the saying goes: "The country is easy to change, but the temperament is difficult to change." That's not entirely true.
"Difficult to move" does not mean that it cannot be moved. With the reform and opening up of society, the frequency of personal communication and the increase of social practice, and the broadening of knowledge, there will be great changes in personal concepts, consciousness and character. As long as you consciously pay attention to changing your personality, you will get good results.
In addition, it is necessary to establish confidence, put yourself in the right position, find yourself, evaluate yourself correctly, and do not be domineering, nor arrogant, without self-esteem, nor overwhelmed by inferiority. We should live among people with modesty and prudence, without humility or arrogance. The way to change the introverted personality and learn to communicate is also to expand the amount of information you have, read more books, read more newspapers, care about world and national events, expand your knowledge and broaden your horizons, and pay attention to enriching your spare time, such as playing ball and calligraphy
Playing chess, etc., you can increase your interaction in these activities and subtly change your personality.
When it comes to character building, you can do the following: First, make yourself likable and want to be a good friend to others. (1) When you encounter troubles, you may want to assume that you are in a state of happiness and leisure, and over time, you can naturally develop a happy personality.
2) Try to use your free time to do what you like and participate in different activities, so as to expand your social circle and increase your knowledge. (3) Writing down your daily feelings, wishes, and dreams in a "secret diary" will not only help you get rid of your worries, but also help you learn how to express your inner feelings. (4) Don't expect perfection from yourself.
Also pay attention to your own sense of humor.
Second, before you start building friendships with others, think about whether you are genuinely interested in them and whether they will make you happy. (1) Be friendly. (2) Accept the character and viewpoint of others, and do not force others to change.
3) Pay attention to personal style, do not blindly make dedication to friends, friends should be based on the principle of mutual assistance. (4) Tell your friends about your feelings and thoughts, but pay attention to the depth of your fellowship to avoid awkward situations. (5) Understand that true friends have the following characteristics:
will not degrade you to elevate yourself; will keep your secrets; I won't slander you, I won't mind how you are dressed; Diplomatic relations will not be severed outright. (6) We must have a mentality that is willing to change, always be ready for change and change, be flexible and creative, have a democratic and equal character and the spirit of abiding by the law and keeping promises; It is necessary to make people constantly improve their personal skills and be good at dealing with themselves. Modern people should realize that a person's future and life depend on their own skills.
This is a characteristic of today's times.
In addition, while using language in social communication, there is another factor that cannot be ignored, that is, non-verbal factors. What are non-verbal factors? It is the movements, expressions, environment, etc. of our conversation and communication process that affect our communication all the time.
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All I can say is that you don't know enough about yourself. You can see in your words that there are many contradictions in your heart.
Try to read more books about psychology (and I don't mean fake books like "Teach You to Change Your Personality") and keep a diary.
As for the specifics, I think you can first learn to accept your own way of interacting.
There are many kinds of interactions between people, for example, some people need to interact with people through beliefs, hobbies (philosophy, politics, basketball, etc.), some people need to interact with people through giving, helping, ability and people (helping people solve problems, teaching others, and sponsoring others), some people interact with people through appearance, fun, and entertainment (being a clown), and some people interact with people through talking about feelings and showing their hearts (those love scenes**).
They are all different modes of communication, but the key is two things:
1. A slap does not make a sound, you can meet each other's needs: for example, teachers and students, students can meet the needs of teachers to be recognized and self-esteem, and teachers can meet students' needs for knowledge. So, think about what other people need, can you meet them?
2. Character: Detached from the integrity and trustworthiness of character, any skill is in vain. In this regard, we can read the Analects.
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I don't have much: "Be sincere to your friends, as long as you let others see your honesty and let others feel that you are good to him, this is the best, and at the same time you must learn to pretend, you can also be hypocritical appropriately, on the surface you must let others see the past, remember not to offend anyone,", ".
Especially in this era, it is more important, remember not to offend people, you will inevitably have to be useful to others, just live it
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Character can change fate, to change the personality must first change their behavior, many people feel that some people are indifferent, it's just that the person doesn't greet them when they usually meet, it is this first impression that makes them prejudiced and slowly alienated from this person.
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The problem is that you care too much about what you say, and you are introverted and unwilling to show who you really are.
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Why do you want to change yourself, what you are, don't make yourself so tired!
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The above answer is very good, you can learn from it!
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1. Have the courage to express yourself.
The process of talking to people is actually a process of expressing yourself, so don't be restrained when talking to people, whether it's a beautiful woman or a handsome guy, or a big person, it's all people, since it's a person, there's nothing special about it, and you don't have to put too much pressure on yourself to speak.
2. People are attractive to each other.
What is attraction, for example, a girl next to you is very beautiful, or a boy is very handsome and talented, and everyone likes to be friends with her, because they have these attractive qualities, of course, there are many switches that can touch to attract others, such as humor, such as being very good at doing things, very generous and intelligent, and so on.
Therefore, in the process of expression, we should also properly show others our ** value and our strengths, so that people will be unconsciously attracted to you and approach you, and want to understand you.
3. Not humble or arrogant.
In the process of chatting with people, it is good to often empathize, but sometimes there are always some people around us who like to make inches, so in the process of communication, we must often empathize, but also not humble or arrogant, but also have our own principles, to avoid some unconscious people to inch in.
4. Packaging bad news.
Henry Ford, the American automobile magnate, usually arranged for assistants to reply to those who asked for him, and sometimes when he refused, he would be extraordinarily respectful, such as inviting him to a snack or lunch. Of course, it is also necessary to speak from a different perspective. For example, if a shopping guide wants to tell a customer that her feet are bigger and one is small, it is more likely that the customer will pay than telling him that "this foot of yours is bigger than that foot" and saying, "Mrs., this foot of yours is smaller than that foot".
5. Great wisdom is foolishness.
The pursuit of excellence is inevitable for everyone to meet their own needs for achievement, but be careful not to let your perfect light sting others' eyes. Especially in the face of some people who are more stubborn, conservative or hostile to you, don't always try to prove yourself to convince the other party at first, be appropriately restrained, decent, and "moisturize things silently" to approach more people. Then, if you make a splash at the right time, you won't bury yourself.
A management psychologist specifically pointed out that even when talking to subordinates, don't say the word "I" in one mouth.
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Here's a few tricks:
1.Learn to be humorous: Brother is very humorous, and he has a good relationship with anyone2
Do your best at work: smile when you get along on weekdays, and don't talk too much when you work3Integrity:
Don't do flattery and the like, it will only make people look down on 4Be generous: Girls like generous guys, while buddies should be generous with each other.
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Episode 39 Communication 6 tips to improve your popularity.
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Social Communication Skills:
1.Self-image, to create an image with affinity.
2.The language is in place, in the face of different people, learn to adapt to changes, and do not cater to other people's opinions casually.
4.Be a good listener, learn to listen sincerely to the real stories around you, and give certain evaluations.
5.Being expressive, "eloquence" is an indispensable key in interpersonal communication, which requires practice (improvement through communication).
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Summary. 1. Smiling, gentle and gentle no matter who likes to talk to people with a smile and a gentle tone, they can hear a kind of cordiality when talking to this person, you are smiling when you chat with others, you yourself will feel comfortable, when he is gentle, you feel very comfortable and will have the urge to continue chatting. 2. Speech and behavior, to be polite When talking to people, you must pay attention to your words and deeds, if you want to talk effectively with others, you must get along with people politely, so that others have a good impression of you.
Third, the so-called common topic is not speculated for more than half a sentence, which means that when communicating with others, people who find speculative common topics will communicate effectively.
1. Smiling, warm and gentle no matter who likes to talk to people with a smile and a gentle tone, they can hear a kind of cordial feeling when talking to this person, you are smiling when you chat with others, you yourself will feel comfortable and imitating, when he is gentle, you feel very comfortable and will have the urge to continue chatting. 2. Speech and behavior, to be polite When talking to people, you must pay attention to your words and deeds, and if you want to talk to others effectively, you must get along with people politely, so that others have a good impression of you. Third, the so-called common topic is not speculated for more than half a sentence, which means that when communicating with others, people who find speculative common topics will communicate effectively.
Fourth, pay attention to the same topic and don't talk for too long: even if it is a topic that both people like, don't keep talking about this topic, keep talking, if the time is too long, the other party will feel very bored. Fifth, don't talk about other people's sad thingsIf you know that something bad has happened to the other party recently, Oak Calling Bridge must not talk about it when talking, or it will make the other party feel uncomfortable and disgusted.
Sixth, don't speak with dirty words There are many people who usually don't pay attention to what they say, and they have developed some bad speaking habits, they may understand him, and they won't feel anything, if they meet someone who doesn't understand, and hear her speak with a lot of dirty mantras, the first impression will be very bad. 7. Be brave enough to admit your mistakesIf in the process of communication, you find your own problems, or put forward opinions that are not reasonable, you should take the initiative to apologize and bravely admit your mistakes. 8. Say your thoughts in advance like chatting with customers, it must be purposeful, before talking, in order to improve the efficiency of the conversation, you can say your thoughts in advance, so that the big pair of sleepy people understand what you want to talk about today.
9. Don't have emotional communication When communicating with others, you must not bring personal emotions, if you want to get your own effect, you must control your emotions first, in order to communicate effectively. 10. Learn Wang Tong will compliment and learn to compliment, especially when dealing with customers, you can observe the other party's words and deeds, or the outstanding characteristics of the other party, to compliment others, which is also commonly known as sycophancy, so that sometimes you will get twice the result with half the effort.
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I've read the ingenuity and repentance of human nature, and this book has made me break through my cognition.
This book is like a tool, and if you master these skills, it will be very easy to get along with people. Dale Carnegie inspired people to succeed through his unique perspective on human nature.
What you think is not who you really are; It's what you think, what kind of person you are.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, no matter how big the mistake is, people don't blame themselves.
The more complacent people are, the more Xiaozhen loves to hide, and the more painful things are, the more they love to make a fuss.
When dealing with people, it is important to remember that we are not dealing with rational creatures, but people who are full of feelings, with prejudice, arrogance and vanity.
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Conversation skills include the rational use of polite language, no matter what the occasion, who to communicate with, maintaining a certain degree of politeness is a necessary and good key. Some polite words can shorten the psychological distance with others and make people want to communicate with them. Learn to listen.
When others are talking, the minimum respect for people when patiently listening to others will have a lot of unexpected gains through listening. Make eye contact. When communicating with someone, proper eye contact can tell them that they are listening and interacting with them.
However, it is very rude to keep staring at people, so be sure to grasp the degree. Keep smiling. Smiling is actually a friendly and clever communication language.
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